PLEASE NOTE, SOME GRAPHIC VIOLENCE/SEX IN THIS CHAPTER.

Chapter 6

The short walk from the bus emptied my mind. I found myself toying rhythmically with the little aura suppressor Id moved into my jacket pocket, in time to my steady footsteps. Ahead of me lay what I was looking for, I hoped. Four blocks of high-rised flats, the only ones in the whole town, an instant landmark, and yet another good design idea, lets paint the outside of them with a stripe of colour. The one I apparently wanted was suppose to be pink. There were 2 with a pinkish stripe though, a light and a darker one, appropriate I thought ; one blue and one that looked like it had been built earlier, uncoloured. Smart idea to leave it, nothing was going to make these look user-friendly.

But 2 pink ones posed a minor problem, which one? I could simply try the flat number in both blocks to see which one it was. I could chance a quick look through the twilight but I wouldn't see much, Egor wasn't initiated yet so not really trackable, but I decided to try anyways.

I got a surprise....the lighter shaded block has clear residues of Others coming and going quite regularly. As little as a day ago. So there was at least one initiated Other visiting the block, but they could be just living there. It was a start anyhow.

I fingered the suppressor one more time as I crossed the street.

The entrance to the block was covered in graffiti, tags from all the local gangs seemed to be crammed onto the doors alone. The hall just behind faired little better, poor illumination, more graffiti and a faint smell of urine. Ahead were lifts, I hoped these damned elevators worked, the address Id been given was almost at the top floor.

The button was missing. To call the elevator I had to stick my finger into the hole where it had been to reach the connection, not a good start. A faint whining noise announced its arrival. When the doors opened the faint whiff of urine grew stronger. I was really reluctant to travel in this thing, but I was still feeling groggy, was that getting worse?

The lift itself, despite its odorous arrival was less eventful than I expected. I reached the floor I wanted incident free, a little concern when the doors didn't slide open as soon as I arrived.

There were four flats on each floor. Up here looked better, no graffiti, no smell, and the view from a small window at the end of the short elevator was pretty spectacular, the town fanned out below, green fields beyond in the distance. I assumed if the window was on the other side Id also get a great view of the sea.

'Floor 12 Flat 3.....so I'm here, but how do I go about this?' I thought. I couldn't exactly knock on the door and ask if Egor was there, especially if he was, he would want to know why I wanted him and he was still suspicious after Edinburgh. All I could remember was this was the last place that Robert knew he had been, this was supposedly his girlfriends place; I only had a first name, Elsa, but it was more than I had when I arrived in my 'unusual' way.

I stood there for a few minutes, indecisive, fingering the suppressor. The hairs on the back of my neck began to rise, and the suppressor began to heat up, but I passed it off as it absorbing heat from my hand. I was a bit light headed, Ha! What an analagory at the moment, the last thing I was, was light.

I was sweating when I knocked at the door, my heart had started pounding. I looked down to find I had the suppressor gripped tightly in my hand, it was positively burning me now, but I couldn't let go.

The door open. In front of me stood a young woman, nothing spectacular, average height, average build, average looks....why then did I suddenly get a raging and uncomfortable erection? The sweating suddenly chilled on my body, flashes of images screamed across my mind while I froze to the spot.

She looked at me, and must have sensed something but misinterpreted it. "Did Egor send you, did he send a message for me?"

Trigger word.....message, Id been implanted with a trigger word, spoke by this person I had never met. The suppressor cut into my hand deeply as I clenched it tightly. The flashing visions coalesce into a command. Attack... take the woman.. use her.. rape... kill...kill. I couldn't move, while in my mind the visions continued, grabbing her, ripping off her clothes, thrusting in, faster and faster, the the slow strangulation while copulating, the look of horror on her face before the death glaze clouded her eyes, defiling her dead body more....dark, dark everywhere.

I knew it was going to happen, had to happen, but somehow I managed to hiss through my teeth "Go in, close the door ... NOW!!!"

She slammed it shut, I heard the lock latch into place. In my mind I was tearing down the door, grabbing her, ripping her open, disemboweling....a thousand forms of death. I felt a spell rising up in me to blast out the door, damn it was strong enough to take out the entire wall, I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to stop it. I was about to release it when a wave of white light washed over me, blinding me, stimulating but soothing me. I ejaculated into my pants I'm sorry to say, but in doing so I lost the urge to kill, the trigger had been set into a sex act, the act of coitus ended it. As I collapsed to the floor a cool breeze seemed to gently was over me, and visions of my family flooded my mind, easing the pain, dispelling the thoughts, pushing out the darkness.

A voice seemed to whisper in my ear. "Throw the suppressor away.....throw it away Daddy, its going to kill you, it will try again. Its bad, Daddy, throw it away."

I couldn't throw it, I couldn't even let go of it despite the blood trickling down my wrist

"Break it Daddy, break it, I'll help you". And then love, pure, indescribable love, surrounded me. Slowly I raised my hand that held the suppressor. I tried to squeeze it in the middle, to snap it, but it was harder than steel.

"I cant" I whispered "I cant do it."

"Here....." and I swear I felt my daughters breath blow across my clenched fist. The suppressor weaken, I could feel it soften and with all my strength I snapped it in to.

The wind that suddenly howled around me was like a vortex it felt as big as the one Sveta had when we first met. It screeched and tore at me, tore at my mind, but it no longer had any control over me. Almost like a living thing it battered at my chest as though aware of the claw marks there, as though it was trying to get in, but the love held like a shield, thwarting its every attempt. With one last gigantic effort it shattered and dispelled through the ceiling, up and out, I could almost see it rise and dissipate. As it disappeared, so did the shroud of love, leaving me alone, desolate...I suddenly realized what it felt to be truly dark. I slumped in a heap on the floor, back to the wall, and cried like I had never cried before....

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I don't know how long I was sat there for before i heard the 'snick' of a lock being released and the gentle sigh of a door being opened. I reached into my pocket automatically for the suppressor before remembering it was gone, and why. But I still felt strangely exposed and vulnerable. I looked up.....it was Essa, peeping out of a small crack in the door. She was brave, Id give her that much, if that was me, Id have barricaded myself in and phoned the police if someone the state I was in came knocking at the door. The I remembered, I still had the glam in place, she wouldn't have seen a thing. I'm assuming then that shutting and locking the door was second nature round here at the slightest sign of trouble, it certainly looked the type of area.

"You OK?" she said, in a soft voice, a hint of Ukrainian in the accent. "You said close the door, then I heard a lot of noise and then you were crying. Did you get mugged? Did they do you over?"

I didn't inquire as to who the "they" were.

"Its o..o..o....OK " I stammered. "They didn't get much." It was easier to let her believe I had been mugged. Less explanation.

"Want me to call the police?" she asked

"Would it do any good?"

"Not really" she sighed, "No CCTV on this floor, and they don't usually come back for months. So cant prove anything. Come in, you don't looked to badly hurt, a good cup of coffee will set you on your way."

I knew the glam was working then, I looked like shit, and felt worse.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I mean about a stranger in your home?"

She leaned her head to one side and said "Normally no, but you remind me of Egor, that's why I wondered if you had a message from him."

I winced for a second at the trigger word, but the compulsion was gone, snapped like the suppressor.

But a message from him, that didn't sound good, it sounded like he was gone, but I had to find out how long ago and where.

I began to stand up, and wobbled. Essa came out to me and helped me to my feet. "Thank you" I said weakly. "I'm a bit shook up more than I though."

"Here let me help you", and taking my arm like I was some elderly gentleman, she led me into the flat.

It was an ordinary apartment, basically furnished with a lived in feel, the way I liked them. I stood there for a moment, acutely aware of the semen beginning to trickle down my thigh and grateful that the glam had been a good, if subtle, one. She led me to a huge armchair and sat me down. I sank into it, it seemed to mould itself to every contour...a good chair. Essa went into her kitchen and soon I could hear a coffee machine working, not cheap instant then.....cow sludge would have done me at that moment in time though.

The cup of hot steaming coffee Essa brought me a few minutes later was far from cow sludge, it was strong, black and laced with sugar, just the way I liked it. She watched me down it in one, a little amazed I could swallow the almost boiling liquid. There was silence for a moment until she said "Egor liked his coffee that way to, although maybe not so hot".

Its funny how others, uninitiated or otherwise, love extra sweet coffee. I had no doubt now that the Egor she knew was the Egor I wanted.

A moment silence again and then she said "He isn't here, I know you don't have a message for me. Your looking for him to. I just hoped he had sent word....."

I deflated inside. "How long has he been gone?"

"Only a few days, but he didn't take his things with him, no word, nothing." Then she eyed me suspiciously. "You arnt the reason he left are you? Look if hes in some kind of trouble I'm not helping you..."

I couldn't lie to her, not after what Id just experienced, my soul was open and laid bare and every lie would push me further to the dark, but I couldn't tell her the truth either, she wouldn't believe it.

"No" I sighed"...at least I don't think so....when did he leave?"

"Nearly a week ago".

"I only arrived four days ago, so I don't think so know. But I do need to find him. I'm not here to hurt him....I'm here to help him. "

And for a second I believed what I said, I believed that the Dark was his best way. And I knew lying, even with a bared soul, was just another Dark trait coming though. Id have winced again, but I was all out of self-pity at that moment.

"It doesn't matter, I know its not you." she continued. "Hes not been right for a while, not since he came back from Edinburgh"

"Oh?" Now I was interested again.

"Yes, he was restless when he came back. I thought he'd found someone else while away, but he settled down after a few weeks. But about a month ago he started going out again, he always seemed agitated when he returned. I tried asking him about it but he just kept saying I wouldn't understand. Then about a week ago he left as normal, then i got a garbled phone call about how he had to stay away and that he might get a message to me, that he loved me and he was sorry."

I twitched.....that sounded like he DID know I was coming and what I was suppose to do, but how?

She looked hopefully at me. "So I suppose no news is good news?"

I couldn't lie on this one.."Sorry I really don't know. "

Essa sighed again. "I know...its not as if we were married or anything.....not even 'really' together, but it would be nice to know...."

She was one brave girl, if that had been Sveta I'd have been tearing my hair out and shredding the twilight apart to look for her. Maybe it was a human thing, this hope. I was fast forgetting what it was like to be 'normal'...it had been a long time.

"I know where ever he is, hes fine." This wasn't a lie either. I knew, strangely, that it wasn't all over yet. "If I do find him I'll tell him your waiting for him."

She gave me a wan smile.

"Its time I was going." I put the cup down. "Thanks for the coffee it was what I just needed"

"You should be OK going back, they wont be around for months now."

I couldn't ignore it anymore. "Who are 'they'?"

Local yobs, probably, Egor use to deal with them if he was here when they came round. Its why this floor looks better than the rest, they seems to listen to him. When hes not here I just hide. They leave me alone."

Something niggled me at the back of my brain with that. I said my goodbyes and left the flat. Before she closed the door Essa said one more thing. "I do know, you know."

I never found out what she meant, but I thought I could guess. But as I made my way to the lift I felt unseen eyes watching me leave.......