Hey ya'll! So yeah don't kill me... I know it's late but my computer is now fixed so if I'm not updating very much then just PM me and I'll try my bestest to get to it. Also this is a short one but it's wrapping up Germany and also Edward and Emmett are gonna arrive VERYYYY shortly ;D

BPOV

We walked up the marble steps to the front door of the Spa Alice sent us to. We didn't see a door bell, only one of those knocking thingies with those weird-ass faces on it in black metal.

We knocked it three times and finally a couple seconds later a towering lady answered. Her blonde grey streaked hair was pulled into a tight French twist pulling her temples a bit too much for comfort, from the looks of it. Her eyes were a hard flat brown colour and were staring at us in an eerie way with her nostrils flared naturally I think.

"You girls are viss Ah-lice?" She said slowly in a thick German accent that could put Arnold to shame.

"That would be us, Rosalie and Bella." Rose stated a bit nervously, thank god I wasn't the only one freaking out from the simple stare of this crazy lady who was about to wax our entire bodies.

"You come inside now; ve have no time to vaste. You call me Anja and my assistant is Barbara." She said sternly walking to the front desk where she gave us papers. "You fill dis out and go tru dis door for zeh vaxing, ya?"

I looked over at Rose who looked like she was going to die of laughter and I looked away swiftly knowing I would laugh too the more I thought about our situation. "You sit down and fill out forms quietly." She walked away with her posture straighter than a broom stick.

"Yo, I'm seriously freaking scared of this place!" Rose whisper-yelled at me with fear evident in her eyes. I tried not to laugh thinking it was all just very different but straight out of a movie, really.

"Don't worry about it, ve vill be vaxed and out of here in no time." I said with an honest to god awful German accent. Rose laughed uneasily and continued to write.

"What kind of fucking questions are these? 'Do you have ties to any law enforcing officials?' or 'Do you dye your pubic hair?' I'm just about ready to call Alice up and asked if she fucking set us up on an appointment with underground estheticians…" She blew out a shaky breath and continued to scribble down answers shaking her head back and forth.

"Ok, I'm done, you?" She nodded and we walked to the doors we were told to go through, holding hands. Our palms were just a bit clammy, which would be gross in any other situation but at the time, I didn't care.

"Hallo, I'm Barbara, I vill be vaxing you ladies today for Ah-lice." We nodded.

"Hi, um do you think it would be possible if we stayed in the room the whole time while the other is getting waxed?" I inquired trying to calm and myself down a bit.

"Oh, ya, it's okay." She said with a cheery smile. Her hair was in the same tight bun as Anja but had a couple sweaty tendrils falling in her face. Her eyes were a pale blue colour which contrasted a lot with her chubby pasty red cheeks. Her bulky arms were firm looking, covered in muscle and her stomach was lumpy all around and connected straight down with her huge butt. I looked down at her ankles which looked swollen and I thought maybe, just maybe she would be soft on us. "Alright," She clapped her hands together. "Who is first?" She said looking expectantly between Rose and me.

"I'll go…" I said trying to be brave for my best friend beside me. Rose exhaled a long breath as if she had been holding it since we walked in.

"Alright ve start vith zeh unter arms, ya?" I nodded not caring.

She had my take my shirt off to get to my under arms more easily. I sat in the chair with my arm being pulled over my head with the other in an uncomfortable way. She applied the hot sticky liquid to the area and my face immediately got red and I felt the sweating start. Barbara told me to relax but that was the last thing that was going to happen until it was over…

The first pull hurt like a mother fucker but after that I felt numb. Barbara looked all into her thing and Rose was sitting on the side looking traumatized.

"HOLY MOTHER OF FRACKING JESUS!" Rose screeched out when Barbara pulled the first strip off her vagina.

Yeah and here I sit, well I hardly think you could call it sitting if you're on your lower back on the hard plastic waiting chair. My vagina was red and on fire. No, not the aroused sexual fire, the 'holy-shit-someone's-held-a-fucking-match-to-my-uterus-fire!' But don't worry; when we get to the hotel, I'm sitting my ass down in an ice bath.

"Be-llaaaa! Owww, help me, I think I'm gonna-!" Rose screeched but was chocked off from the rest of her sentence by Barbara pulling another strip. Rose's eyes bugged out of the sockets and she pulled her cheeks back to her ears like she ate something very sour. I tried not to laugh because I didn't want to move and provoke swelling in my nether regions…

"Rose, just breathe, you see? I got through it just fine!" My voice jumped an octave while trying to lie to my best friend while in doggie style on her death bed from extensive vagina vaxing!

It was a really a funny sight, I mean picture it.

Fat lady spreading wax on Rose's vagina while she' in doggie style with hooded eyes and red cheeks from panting the whole time… I don't know, but it was hard not to laugh in her face. Maybe what was holding me back was the fact that I was in the same position as her not too long ago.

I don't know but, the last time I was waxed, we did not have to do doggie style to get anything, we simply held our legs back like we were giving birth… When Barbara told me to go on all fours, I was ready to burst out in tears, I mean what the fuck would you do?!

I don't want a wax stick up my fucking asshole! Thankfully that didn't happen and Barb over there was very precise with her wax spreading skills. Surprisingly.

Barbara heaved one last strip from Rosalie and took a swig of ice cold water from her water bottle like she ran a marathon or something. She was sweating like a pig and to be frank, I think Rose and I were too.

"Ok, are we done Barbara?" Rosalie half asked half pleaded while panting, on the verge of tears.

"Yes, ve are done." She nodded her head stiffly and walked out.

"What the fuck? Where'd she go?" I asked.

"I don't give a shit, that bitch fucking ripped out my damn baby maker! Let's get out of here." She hopped down from the seat thing and pulled on her underwear and pants and we were on our way.

Alice had already paid so we thought we could just run our sorry asses out the door but considering our conditions we limped with our legs far apart like we shat our pants and only thought we were going fast. No we were going slower than freaking snails; I think it was the whole adrenaline thing…

Denis was waiting outside with the limo and we got in asking him to blast the AC.

Upon arriving at the hotel we ran a cold bath and shower and got dressed to leave.

It was dark out now and we were all meeting for dinner at this restaurant that Jasper and Alice recommended.

Surprisingly no one got drunk tonight and we all had an amazing time. The food was really exquisite and I had my first real German Strudel! Well, Rose did too but whatever. As it being our last night in Germany we wanted to have a quiet and calm evening to go out with a bang.

Alice said we couldn't leave without saying goodbye to Jacob so we went to his loft at around nine o'clock to hug and exchange numbers for if we were ever in each others' area which was doubtful but who cares, you know what they say… When in Germany…

What did you think? I really hope you guys are liking it! So don't worry Edward and Emmett are gonna be here soon so if you just stick with me a little longer, you'll be getting what you want and trust me, a few of you will need to be purchasing some Shamwows because it's gonna get lemony sooooon! :)

-Ali xoxo