This fic is getting to be my post popular fic ever! I just want to hug each and every one of you...

Wait...no I don't...

-Shoves Ed forward- He can hug you all for me while I update this fic.

Ed: FANGIRLS!!! -Runs for it- Oh yeah, and Night Rain doesn't own Full Metal Alchemist.

Creepy Dreams

It had been a long grueling day for young Edward Elric as he climbed into bed. He had taken some more notes on fanfiction, and the constant random popping ins of Amaya Illusion didn't help either. He could swear that he had heard of her somewhere else. Every time he voiced this to Al, Al would give him a look that said, "Are you that blind?" but Ed couldn't imagine why he kept giving him that look.

He put his arms behind his head and tried to think of something to help him fall asleep. He remembered how their mother used to tell them to think of something happy, like kittens and rainbows and sugar cookies to make them fall asleep. (Night Rain Illusion: OMFG, that sentence just gave me a great idea for something else! hehehehe) So Ed now closed his eyes and imagined for reasons unknown to him, a rainbow. But someone was running towards him. It looked like Winry. As he held his arms out to her, the dream suddenly changed so that he was in a weird black void.

"What the..." he said aloud. Suddenly, a voice spoke out to him.

"Edward Elric..." said a voice. It sounded female. He wasn't sure if he could recognize it or not.

"What do you want with me?" he asked as he looked around for the source of the voice. "Who are you?"

"You may have heard of me and know me, you may have not..."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means you may know me or you may not. Damn, can't I be literate and mysterious at least once?" the voice said angrily. Ed thought long and hard for a minute so that he could figure out where the voice came from.

"...Winry?"

"Winry couldn't find her way out of a cardboard box, let alone be a mysterious token character that controls all of life and existence." the voice responded to his guess.

"Hawkeye?"

"No dice. Since when the hell would she have been able to get powers like mine?"

"Teacher?"

"If I was your Teacher, I would of already showed myself to you. I'm not exactly afraid of a whiney little pipsqueak."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WHINEY PIPSQUEAK!!!" Ed shouted at what he hoped was the voice, unsure of where this person would be standing.

"You Full Metal Pipsqueak (Ed thought he heard a weird giggling after the voice said that)"

"...Envy?"

"...Yeah right, although I will remember that and tell him you thought he had a female voice."

Ed had thought of every female person he ever really knew, fortunately forgetting Amaya Illusion at the moment. "Ok, I give up. So why are you talking to me?"

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. The fabric of your world is tearing. You see, you guys' finding out about the fanfiction is starting a chain of events that could very well end your world as you know it. Fanfiction comes from a distant world, very similar to yours, where your exploits are told throughout the world and many dedicated fans write about you. Yet, somehow, a rift was open so that you would be able to get access to these special stories. This rift will eventually turn fiction into reality, and the world will end. Oh wait, I think I already said that..." the voice trailed off.

"So how do I fix this?" Ed asked, but then the voice said, "Would you look at the time, I have a Geometry test to study for...", said the voice hurriedly. "I'll tell you the rest another time."

"Wait, I have just one question. Please, it's important..." Ed said pleadingly. The voice sighed.

"Ask the question."

"What the hell is Geometry?" Ed asked.

"It's a complicated form of math that involves formulas and measurements."

"Eh?"

"-Sigh-It's math that involves shapes."

"What's math?"

"...Your joking right? Eh, the side effects of dreams are taking the part. The sheer stupidity and insanity is kicking in, as if it hadn't already." the voice sighed, but then went into a coughing fit.

"Are you ok?" Ed asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I just have a cold. So anyway, I'll be leaving now. Oh yeah, you might want to keep an eye on Amaya Illusion. She's the one that's been putting thumbtacks on your chair that you use when you're on the Internet."

"What? I blamed Mustang for that! I hope she realizes that she got a perfectly innocent colonel in trouble..." Ed said, but he noticed the voice struggling not to laugh. Ed grinned.

"Sneaky...I like that..."

"Well, the dream's almost over. See ya." the voice said, and as the blackness started to fade away, he thought he caught a pair of yellow eyes watching him. He found himself outside of a door. A red door...I see a red door and I want it painted black...

Wait, now is not the time to be singing Paint it Black by Rolling Stones, no matter how kickass that song is.

Ed turned the knob of the door slowly to find a brightly lit room. What met his eyes, no one might have guessed. The door shut behind him and he was forced to glue his eyes to the scene in front of him. If he could throw up in a dream, it would be right in that instant.

Al was doing some kind of an Irish dance, either that or the can-can; he could never tell those dances apart for the life of him. Envy was arm in arm with Wrath as they were singing something drunkenly and sloshing beer from their beer mugs all over themselves, probably too drunk to notice. But maybe the weirdest of them all was Maes Hughes playing the bagpipes and wearing a Scottish kilt. And they were all singing "Numa Numa Yay! Numa Numa Yay! Numa Numa Numa Yay!" as the Numa Numa song was playing in the background. (Japanese version or whatever version it is that's not English)

"AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!" Ed started screaming loudly, in the corner of his eye he saw Roy slam the door open and yell, "Even in your dreams you make me come in here and yell at you about the incessant screaming!"

"Ed...Ed!"

Ed woke up to find that he was being shaken awake by Al. "Ed, are you ok?"

"Yeah, you suddenly started screaming 'Oh the humanity!' and 'Oh my fucking' god!' and a few other choice ones." said a voice in the corner of the room. Ed looked to see Amaya standing there, not looking at him as she was typing something furiously into a small red device."

"Why is she in here?" Ed pointed, but Al shrugged. Ed stared at the red item in her hands.

"What's that?"

"Hmm? Oh this? It's called a Nintendo DS. I'm playing a videogame called Blue Mystery Dungeon at the moment." she said without looking at him.

"Anyway, so what was with the screaming?" Al asked.

"I just had the craziest dream Al...And...I learned something. Something important."

"Really, what??" Al asked.

"Hughes in a kilt leaves absolutely nothing...and yet everything to the imagination"

There's the chapter for you. Fanfiction reference?

When people do dream sequences in their fanfics, some overplay the "mysterious token all knowing all seeing voice of absolute mystery and yet is known from somewhere buried deep in latent memory."

Yeah...

-Phone rings-

I got to take this. -Answers- Hello?

???: I have delivered the message to him like you wanted me to. He now knows of what he must do...

-Scans chapter- No he doesn't. All you did was tell him of the problem, but you didn't tell him how to fix it!

???: ...Damn

R&R everyone! In the meantime...

-Turns up the radio so that everyone can dance to Numa Numa-

Numa Numa Yay! Numa Numa Yay! Numa Numa Numa Yay!

Ed: What the hell is with your obsession to this Numa Numa song?? It's just some random song!!

Be quiet or I'll make the fangirl chapters come faster instead of putting them off like I have been for the past few weeks.

Ed:...I'll be good...

That's my good little obedient dog...

Ed: -cries-