Another week, another chapter!=)
I wanna thank Siobhan Cullen for always leaving nice reviews!
The following week moved fast, but my nightmares didn't leave me alone thou I felt a little bit glad about my plans, hanging out with Jacob. Angela of course helped me out in school and Renee at home. We talked about when she could go home and the deal we made was that she would fly home when my truck was ready for me to drive myself.
Friday night Renee and I rented a movie, Sense and Sensibility, even thou I had already seen if before I loved watching it over and over again. But as always, when Edward Ferrars name was brought up I closed my eyes and thought about something different.
I still had a hard time hearing that name and I had to put my arms around my legs and crawl up in the sofa trying to make the hole in my chest not to ache to much. When the movie was over I rolled myself to bed, eager to wake up to the following morning.
"Bella, time to wake up, Jacob will be here shortly." Renee opened up my window, letting the cool air come thru my room and make me shiver a bit.
"Okay, thanks mom." was all I could get out, somehow I had small butterflies in my stomach. Even if I new Jacob I felt a bit nervous, not knowing what he had planned for the day. So I got up and took my usual morning shower, the hot water made my muscles feel soft and I could breath out. There were never pain when I felt the hot water rinse all over me, it was a release and maybe the best part of the day. Relaxing, soothing. But as always, when the hot water was up, the cold water made me think about him, his cold hands on my body and before my tears came I hurried to turn of the water.
Picking out cloths were easy this day, a pink tee shirt and a pair of jeans, with a pair of black converse. The weather didn't seem to get better so I took a thick sweater and lay it on my knees. I heard the knock on the door and I knew Jacob was here.
I hurried down, still puzzled about my excitement and when I got down, Jacob gave me a big hug, he caught me by surprise, I wasn't ready for that.
"Hi Bella, you look great! Ready for a day with me?" His voice were friendly and sincere, no pity and for that I was grateful.
"Hi you too, yeah of course I'm ready." I gave him a small smile, "what is our plans for today?"
"Well, maybe a trip to First Beach in my hoods?"
"That sounds nice, but I think you forgot something…" He looked at me curiously.
"What do you mean?"
I looked at my wheelchair and pinched the wheel. "Maybe you are blind, ha-ha, but a wheelchair doesn't work on a beach, I would get stuck in the sand."
"Ha-ha, never on my watch, look at this guns!" He flexed his big arm muscles and much to my surprise I was a bit impressed.
"Okay, it might work, but its up to you then." I rolled into the kitchen, knowing Renee would be by the table.
"Mom, were of now, we'll be back later. Love you." I kissed her cheek. With only her in life as my only parent, I felt the urge to show her how much I loved and appreciated her.
"I made some sandwiches for you two, so you can have a picnic at the beach." She handed me a small basket with some drinks and brown paper bags in it.
"Thanks mom, that's nice of you!"
"Have fun kids, don't do anything I wouldn't do." She laughed and kissed me back.
I turned around and handed Jacob the small basket. "Bye mom, see you later!" I shouted when I closed the door. Jacob was already down by his car.
"Do you want help to get in the car, Bella?" He asked, just to be polite.
"No thanks, I can manage." I wasn't used to his car and I took me longer time then with Angela's car to get in and fold the wheelchair. Jacob did ask again, but I just looked at him and he never said a word about it again.
We drove down to La Push, a couple of miles from Forks, and Jacobs home town. The small native American reservation by the north pacific ocean was a popular summer stay, and First Beach had many visitors during the summer months,
Jacob parked his car and got out, He didn't ask me if I wanted help, I would turn it down anyways, so I struggled a bit, but it was easier this time. I was glad I took my sweater with me, even if the weather wasn't particularly cold, the fresh breezes made the air colder than what it actually was.
Jacob handed me the basket and I placed it on my knees, he then started to push my chair forward. It was easy for him at first because of the asphalt, but the nearer the sand we came I got more worried.
"Are you sure, do you think you can manage to push my chair?" I sounded a bit concerned and he laughed it away.
"Of course Bella, this will be easy, have some trust in me, please!" Obviously I trusted him, otherwise I wouldn't be here with him, alone.
Jacob pushed my chair easily, like it was no problem at all. He stopped when we got to some dead greyish tree trunks laying in a wide ring with a fireplace in the middle, it seemed to be a popular place to barbecue at.
Without getting a chance to react, Jacob lifted me up from the chair and placed me on a thick blanket, with my back leaning against a tree. "Hey, what are you doing?" I felt confused and a bit mad because he didn't ask if it was okay, it took him only seconds to do that, like I weighed nothing.
"You cannot sit in that chair all the time, its more cosier down here." He started to make a fire, and it was quickly done. The heath from the fire made its way to my body and it reminded me of my hot showers and I got a bit more comfortable.
Jacob placed himself by my side and went thru the basket, curious about what Renee had packed for us. "A sandwich?" He asked questionably.
"Yeah, thanks." I took it from his hand, and when my fingers touched his they felt warm, once again I got reminded of the first time he ever touched me, with his cold fingers and I sighed.
"What's the matter Bella?" Jacob voice were concerned.
"Nothing, nothing at all. Just enjoying the view." The wind made the sea work up big waves and somehow it was soothing to se how they rolled in over the beach.
Jacob believed me and finished his sandwich in two bites. "Are you gonna it that or what?" He pointed at my sandwich, uneaten.
"If you give me an apple, you can have the sandwich." We traded and I took a small bite on my apple. I enjoyed this, just sitting on a blanket, look at the ocean and have Jacob beside me. It was easy to hang with him, like he was a missing piece in my life, now coming back.
"Isn't this nice Bella? I bet you don't leave your house much accept going to school?" He was spot on.
"Yeah, it really is. And you are right. But my truck is soon done and then I can go wherever I want, without a driver. Maybe I can pick you up."
"Yeah, that would be nice, you cant use me all the time for simple things like this…" He winked and I knew he was joking. But he was also right. I hated the feeling of using people because of my handicap. I never was the one who asked for help, I wanted to take care of myself, all the time. People asking me if I needed help, I just wanted to smack them in their face…
"Right, you're so right. Next time I'll drive."
"Yeah right, when is your truck ready, next year or what?" He mocked me, and I got a bit angry.
"Actually, next week." I said with a hard voice. I looked away, out into the sea. Remembering Charlie's face when he told me about the truck. How happy he was when he gave me the keys, his face expression were joyful, like he did a nice deed. He did evidently, he gave me a car. One single tear rolled slowly down my face and fell to the blanket.
"Bella, are you all right?" Jacob seemed worried, he saw the tear on my face.
"Yeah, I just thought about Charlie, I miss him a lot." Jacob lay his arm around me and moved closer. He stroke my arm and it felt comforting.
"It's okay Bella, we all miss him very much. The loss of him took us all by surprise and Billy still has a hard time talking about Charlie. He hasn't even been out fishing yet since…since the accident." Jacob trembled on the words. He had lost his own mother in a car accident when he was younger. He thought he knew what I went thru. But nobody did, I blamed myself for the accident. If I hadn't sulked about him, we hadn't gone to Billy and Jacobs house…Then the accident wouldn't had happened.
"It's hard, cooping with not having him around." I meant Charlie and one other.
A piercing wind started to move around the beach and I shivered.
"Maybe its time to go home? I don't want you to get a cold or something." Jacob already started to get up.
"The wind is cold, so I think that's a good idea." He put out the fire and lifted me up in the chair. With the blanket tucked in around my body we began to roll back to his car. This time I let him help me in the car because of the rain, I didn't want to be any colder than I already was.
With both safe in his car we went back towards Forks.
"Did you have a nice time before the rain?" Jacob concentrated on the road while he had his warm arm around me.
"Yeah, it was nice, thanks for the trip." Even if I did have a small breakdown, he was there, comforting me, and if felt good.
"Maybe I can come in with you, we can watch a movie?" I heard how his voice tried to be calm, but he sounded a bit to eager.
"Mhm, that would be nice." I wasn't quite ready to be alone with Renee at home. So having Jacob with me would be fine.
On our way home we stopped by a red light. On the street I saw Mike. He saw me, smiled with a big grin and waved. I waved back and smiled. Thou his feelings for me hadn't changed since the accident I tried hard not to encourage him.
Jacob saw Mike, the smile and the wave.
"Who is that? Is that your boyfriend?" He spitted out with a hard voice.
I felt a bit confused, and scared. His voice, almost harsh and unpleasant made me feel at unease. I wondered what he meant with that. "No, of course not. He is only a friend of mine, nothing more than that."
"Okay, I hope you're right…" He stared out the window at Mike, Mike's face expression were blank, he almost looked a bit scared.
As we continued home to my house I wondered why Jacob reacted the way he did. Almost as if he were very protective about me in a different, wrong way.
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