Vampire Diaries: Lonely Soul (Caroline PoV)

Love is completely giving your heart to someone and leaving yourself completely exposed. You know its love when you understand the person better than they understand themselves. And when they understand you better than you do yourself. – Caroline

Trust is something that is scarce, and there are very few people who can be trusted. Those who go around with their hearts on their sleeves and just walk around giving others their trust are naïve, simply foolish. – Tyler

When you have people in your life that you can depend on, who will stand by you even when you're at your lowest point that is when you know you have true friends. – Matt

I want to know why he hasn't called. I want to know where he is and if he's okay, Tyler. It is impossible to say when exactly these thoughts started, but all I know is I cannot get them to stop. Every second of every day since he left I've had to fight back thoughts of him. Theories and questions run amuck in my head to the point in which I lose all control, it takes all of my focus just to not think about the forest and what happened that night. Still whenever I slip up my mind wanders back to the scene and goes over it, over and over again. Things that I wouldn't have noticed I remembered and began to notice. His dark brooding brown eyes staring at me filled with contempt and compassion. The warm touch of his flawless skin and the chill it sent down my spine, but most of all his fingers thick and long, as if wish they could extend all the way through my body. And his voice filled with fear for my safety but more with anger as if someone or something had taken over him. Tyler had always had anger issues and an attitude problem and basically every other problem a guy could have, but he was never dangerous. He was a lot of talk but I honestly believe he'd never hurt me on purpose. Perhaps it was just me. I know what it is like to be judged and to always feel like you're not good enough, like no matter what you do it's never good enough. Sometimes I wonder and think maybe Tyler was like that; maybe he was just a product of his circumstance, and just maybe all he needed was someone to understand him to really understand him, someone he could confide in, believe in and trust. Still Tyler was gone and there wasn't anything I could do.

Pushing in the door I headed in to see Matt at the grill I hadn't seen him in days, since the car ride home things had been very tense and I felt as though I owed him and explanation. Yet I was hesitate seeing him across the room busing tables in his loose t-shirt for a second I was about to turn around and leave; until I saw him look up and then without my knowing, my body began to walk toward him with the usual smile on my face. I headed over and wrapped my arms around him in relatively awkward hug and he followed suit wrapping his arms around me.

"Hey you" I said softly.

"Hey Car I'm glad to see you" he responded.

"Yeah me too" I replied gazing at him for a brief moment.

"Caroline what's been going on with you lately I called like a dozen times but you never answered" he asked.

"Yeah I'm sorry about that I've just been really busy lately with school and charity work. You know I must have forgot, anyway I'm sorry about not answering" I ranted.

"No it's alright I've just been worried about you. I mean this past week especially it feels like your avoiding me" Matt said, "plus you've been weird like your mind is always somewhere else".

"I'm just tried that's all, it's really put me out of it" I returned.

Caroline where are you?

"What?" I asked questioningly, towards a confused Matt.

"I didn't say anything Car" Matt answered.

"You didn't hear anything just now" I continued.

"No nothing why?" Matt asked.

"Never mind it's probably just me" I told him.

"Okay" he said.

Why aren't you coming?

Ever logical part of my body told me that the voice was all in my head and that I would be crazy to listen to it, but after all the weird things that have happened in Mystic Falls these past two years this was nothing. Regardless my brain told me to ignore this voice and whatever it had to say, but deep down inside I wanted to hear it, to listen to the smooth soothing voice and do whatever it told me.

Come out to the woods Caroline. Tell Matt you need some air and come out.

"Matt I'm gonna go for a while, take a walk and get some air" I said without thought.

"Yeah sure Caroline just be careful alright" Matt told me.

"I will" I said, kissing him lightly on the cheek before heading out the door.

The moment the air touched my face I could feel a rush of adrenaline pulse through my body and I threw out all my inhibitions and just ran. As if all of my senses had become heightened I heard all noises of the younger kids playing and the sounds of cars passing by as I ran across the street heading for the forest. Normally it would take me quite some time to make it to the forest but for some reason I was able to run faster today than I ever did before. I saw the statue that lay at the center of the town and only gained speed from there. I must have looked crazy bolting around town heading toward the forest, the people who drove by and saw me must have thought I was out of my mind. Maybe I was considering I was going to the forest because the voice in my head told me to. Suddenly as if it was unexpected I saw the outer rim of the forest I was nearly there. I continued on into the forest a little further then it was as if the adrenaline had worn off and my body could no longer sustain my weight I staggered until I laid up against a tree. Panting from exhaustion I began to look around but saw nothing and heard nothing. I gazed off looking in circles for someone but there was no one.

My mouth suddenly opened and I began to scream, "Tyler! Tyler! Is it you? Where are you!"

Calm down Caroline go farther keep going until you reach the end.

With the sound of this voice my body regained its strength and headed towards the edge of the forest sprinting maneuvering around trees until I reached the end. All of a sudden I realized just where I was, it was the waterfall. The same waterfall I nearly fell into that stormy night, the night I found Vicki Donovan. A chill surged down my spine and I could not breathe and I fell to the ground.

"Tyler! Tyler why? Why!" I screamed.

"Where are you? Please, please tell me you're here somewhere, please" I begged.

"Please I need to see you. I need to know that I'm not crazy. I can't be" I pleaded, praying that he'd he hear me, if he was even there at all.

But to my dismay I heard nothing and I didn't anyone. Then I lost control and the tears ran down my face streaming down without any sign of stopping. Yet without warning I felt warm hands on me as strong arms enveloped my body, it was Tyler. He gently placed my face until his chest allowing his clothes to soak up my tears. It had been a long time since I had been this happy to see anyone. He slowly caressed my hair and I felt his warmth. After what felt like hours my tears finally seized and Tyler let go of me. Hence after there was a cold silence until I finally had the courage to speak.

"So why did you bring me here" I asked.

"I didn't" he replied. I abruptly turned around to look at him. At a closer glance I realized how exhausted he looked and that there was a cut on his face, he was all undone.

"What do you mean you didn't" I asked him.

"I came here looking for you. Not because I knew you'd be here but because I was hoping you would" he answered.

"Why here? Of all places, why here" I questioned.

"Because this is the last place anyone would look for us" he returned. It didn't take much convincing for me to realize he was right. I would never have come by choice, or without reason. He came over and kneeled down in front of me and he placed his cold hand on my face.

"I'm so sorry for what happened Caroline" he said, his eyes pleading for forgiveness but also forcing to accept it.

"It's okay. I'm okay" I said. I reached my hand out and I completely lost control of it I found my finger tips grazing the cut on his face, but I saw him begin to wince so I pulled away. He suddenly jumped upward and turned his back to me.

"Tyler it's alright I forgive" I tried convincing him to no avail.

"You shouldn't forgive me Caroline" I muttered angrily.

"Well I do" I let out. Tyler seemed uneasy upon hearing this and I could see he was thinking of running away.

"I have to leave" he murmured.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because no one in this town is going to be happy if I stay" I replied.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't they" I asked, completely confused. After I said that Tyler looked back at me staring in disbelief.

"What do you mean why? After seeing what I did to you who wouldn't be afraid?" he questioned. Finally it dawned on me the reason Tyler hadn't to see me, the reason he was on the run was because he was afraid that everyone would see him as a monster. How foolish of me to not have realized it sooner.

"Tyler if that's the reason you're worried then don't be. I haven't told anyone" I told him. Tyler stared at me for the longest time and then he began to pace back and forth, he was anxious that much was obvious.

"Ty just tell me what's wrong? What's been going on with you that you're so afraid of?" I begged him to tell me. At first he was silent, but then he just suddenly got angry.

"Caroline don't think for a second that just because I've been the nice guy for a little while that you can get me to tell you all my secrets and confess all of my sins. Life doesn't work that way!" he shouted going on, "And don't you for a second think that I owe you some sort of explanation!" he continued completely on edge. At hearing a fire ignited in me and I could not stand holding in what I was feeling.

"You know what Tyler you do! After everything that's happened I deserve to know what's going on" I shouted, continuing on to say "I mean I'm so sick of your hot-n-cold attitude. First you act like a decent guy then you jump back into your old routine". Though I was very upset I realized that a small part of me was happy to see the usual Tyler make an appearance. His normal pompous self in an odd way put me at an unexpected ease. Once these I finally got these thoughts out of my head I finally noticed the look on Tyler's face, he was sorry.

"Car…Caroline. I don't know what to say to you. And there is nothing I can say that will make sense. Because truthfully I hardly know what's going on myself" he told me. I had never felt so worried like this for anyone in a long time, the last time I saw him this distraught was the night of Founder's Day, when he, Matt and I were in the car and I saw him lose control. His face reflected an imaginable pain, so tortuous that I wanted to do something to help, but just like that night I couldn't. Even now as he stands in front of me I want to do something, but I can't. Nothing I could say would make his pain any less and I hated that, so all I could do was stand beside him and so I did. I got up and walked over to him and stared him right in the face and somehow managed to smile. Then looking down hesitantly I reached for his left hand that rested at his side. Gently I grabbed hold of it and crossed his fingers with mine. Looking back up to see his reaction a saw what I believe was a glimmer of a smile as Tyler looked back at me. He then placed his right hand on my back and pulled me toward him until my face once again lay up against his warm chest, and in the silence I could hear the beat of his heart.

I think God makes more than one soulmate for every person, and the one you live your life with is just the one you met first. Yeah well, I have a problem. I met all of mine at once.