It was a Wednesday night. Cuddy was on the phone with her sister Julia, Rachel was on the couch watching TV and sucking on a bright red ring-pop that House had bought for her, House was in his room doing. . .whatever it is that he did.

"How's Rach?" Julia was saying.

"She's good. She's watching Toy Story 3 for the fortieth time."

"Let me say hi."

Cuddy handed her daughter the phone.

"Aunt Julia wants to say hi."

Cuddy went into the kitchen and started emptying the dishwasher, as she listened to her daughter's end of the conversation.

"Good," she heard Rachel say.

Then, "Mama makes me fast forward over that part"—she was talking about the part where the toys are trapped in the incinerator. Then a "good," again as Rachel continued to suck on her candy ring.

"Mama made macaroni and cheese," Rachel was saying. "And we went to the playground. And House bought me a cherry ring!"

Oh shit.

Cuddy froze and looked at her daughter, who had immediately realized her mistake. Her little face went white and she kind of flinched a bit—looking something like a puppy who was about to get rapped by a newspaper.

She dropped the phone.

Cuddy ran, picked it up, smoothed Rachel's hair.

"It's okay, baby," she mouthed to her.

"Rach?" Julia was saying. "What's that you just said about House?"

"Hey, Jules. It's me. . . yeah, Rachel's favorite part of the movie just came on so she handed the phone back to me."

"Why did she just say that House bought her a candy ring?" Julia said. There was an edge to her voice.

"What?" Cuddy said, trying to keep her own voice casual. "I'm sure she didn't say that. She got a new doll house, maybe she was talking about that."

"Did her doll house buy her a candy ring?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous . . . She's just very excited about her new doll house. You must've misheard. Listen Jules. I gotta go, okay? I've got all these budget reports to review for tomorrow."

"Okay," Julia said cautiously. "Love you, sis."

"Love you, too."

When she hung up, Rachel immediately began crying.

"I told the secret! I told the secret!" she wailed.

"Honey, it's okay. It wasn't fair for mama to ask you to keep that secret. That was mama's fault, not yours."

"Now Aunt Julia and Nana Cuddy are going to make House leave," she moaned.

She was inconsolable.

"No, they're not," Cuddy said. "I told Aunt Julia that she misheard you and she believed me. Everything is going to be fine."

Having heard the commotion, House came out of his room, scratching his head.

"What's the matter, shorty?" he said to Rachel. "Did mom steal your ring pop? Cause I told her, you get your own ring pop. This one is for Rachel."

Still sniffling, Rachel held out her hand, to show House that she still had her ring.

He smiled a bit.

"Then why the waterworks?"

"I told the secret!" she said, her little bottom lip quivering. "I said I wouldn't tell it, but I did."

"The secret secret?" House said, glancing at Cuddy.

Cuddy nodded.

"Oh. . ."

"It's okay. I was just telling Rachel it wasn't her fault."

"Definitely not your fault. Well, except for the part where you told the secret. That obviously was your fault. . ."

Cuddy shot him a look.

"But nobody's mad," he said quickly.

"Now you're going to go away again!" Rachel cried. "Just like last time."

"No, I'm not," House said, looking at Cuddy. "Am I?"

"I told Aunt Julia it was all just a big misunderstanding and she believed me."

She turned to House.

"I explained that Rachel just got a new dollhouse."

"It's times like this when my last name being a noun really comes in handy," House said. Then he pondered it for a second. "Of course now Rachel has to perpetuate the lie that she has a new dollhouse. . .Unless . . .this is so crazy it just might work. She actually does get a new dollhouse!"

Rachel stopped crying for a second and looked at him.

"Really?" she said.

"Totally. Your mom will buy it for you tomorrow. Right Cuddy? She doesn't want to turn you into some sort of professional liar or something."

Cuddy shook her head, laughed.

"Right," she said.

"Yay!" Rachel said, completely appeased.

"Yay!" House said, flopping on the couch next to her. "Oooh awesome. We're about to get to the cool part with the incinerator."

#######

Three hours later, Cuddy was lying in bed reading and everyone else was asleep, as far as she could tell, when the doorbell rang.

It was 11 pm.

Who could it be? Maybe a neighbor who had locked themselves out? Or a kid playing a prank?

She was actually kind of glad House had put that deadbolt on the door.

She put on a robe and slippers, padded to the door, peered through the peephole.

Julia.

She opened the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Julia strode in with purpose, looking like a cop on one of those TV crime shows.

"Here's here, isn't he?" she said.

"Are you out of your mind?" Cuddy said.

"I know he's here Lisa. I saw the motorcycle parked out front."

"Keep your voice down, Rachel's asleep," Cuddy said.

"Where is he?" Julia hissed.

"Did you just drive two hours to accuse me of harboring House?"

"Frankly, yes."

"He's not here," Cuddy lied.

"Don't lie to me, Lis," Julia said.

"It's none of your business."

"Actually, it is my business. Because you're an addict and you're having a relapse."

"So what if he is here," Cuddy said. "It's my life. I get to do what I want with it."

"What? Are you guys . . .back together?" She spat out the words as though they were poison in her mouth.

"No," Cuddy said. She had a fleeting mental image of the hallway the other night, seeing House. Later, she had masturbated to the thought of him, writhing under the sheet, thinking of his long tongue, his strong hands, his wonderful cock. . .

"It's nothing like that," she said quickly.

"Then what is it like, Lis. Tell me, I'm dying to know."

"His best friend died."

"I know. Wilson. I was very sad about it. I sent a donation to Doctors Without Borders."

"He's a little lost."

"Not your problem."

"I was worried about him."

"You should be worried about him. Worried about him hurting you or Rachel."

"He wouldn't do that."

"Wouldn't he? Didn't he already? Lisa, I don't want to put too fine a point on this, but he tried to kill you!"

"Don't be melodramatic."

Julia shook her head, appalled.

"I don't know what kind of hold this man has on you, but you're deaf, dumb, and blind when it comes him. He's a sick man, with violent tendencies and it's insane to have him around your 5-year-old daughter."

"He adores her," Cuddy said. Now she felt her own lip beginning to quiver. "He would never hurt her."

"He already tried to hurt her!"

"She wasn't home," Cuddy said defensively.

"A technicality. He could've killed all of us."

"He was out of his mind on drugs," she protested. "He wasn't himself."

"He was out of his mind on drugs because he's a drug addict, Lis. That's what drug addicts do. They take drugs and then they blame their reckless, dangerous, unconscionable behavior on those drugs, as if that's some sort of valid excuse."

"He's totally clean," Cuddy lied.

"Bullshit," Julia countered.

"No. . .he's . . . he hasn't taken a single pill since he got here."

"Since he got here? Exactly how long as he been here?"

"I brought him home from the funeral."

"That was almost three weeks ago! Are you telling me he's been living here for three weeks?" She shook her head.

"You're a fool."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are. And I swear, if you don't get him out of here by tomorrow, I'm calling mom, and she's going to call Dr. Ambrose, and we are staging an intervention."

"That won't be necessary," House said. He had emerged from his room with his leather jacket on and his duffel bag over his shoulder. "It's obviously time for me to go."

"No, it isn't," Cuddy said.

"That's the most sensible thing I've ever heard him say," Julia said.

"Nice to see you, too, Julia," House said.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Where are my manners?" Julia sniped. "It's been so long. When was the last time I saw you. . .Oh, I know! It was when you tried to run me over with your car. I never got to say a proper hello in that moment, either."

"Yeah. . .kind of went to jail for that," House said.

"Not nearly long enough, if you ask me."

"Julia, that's enough," Lisa said. "House, go back to your room."

"Can you give me ride to the train station?" House said to Julia, ignoring her.

"Gladly," Julia said.

House turned to Cuddy.

"The guys from the rental place can come get the bike tomorrow," he said.

"House, you're not going to anywhere," Cuddy said.

"It's for the best," House said. "I'm causing trouble for you."

"Listen to the psychopath," Julia said. "He's making a lot of sense."

"Technically, it's narcissist with anti-social tendencies, but I answer to psychopath in a pinch," House said.

He turned back to Cuddy.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me more than you'll ever know. Tell the rug rat I'll see her soon."

"No!" Cuddy said, firmly. She grabbed House's hand.

"He's not going anywhere," she said to Julia. "This is my house. My family. My choices."

House looked down at her hand, then at Julia.

"I guess I'm not going anywhere," he said.

Julia looked stunned.

"Think about what you're doing, Lis. You're picking him over me. You're picking a man who drove his car into your house over your own sister. Your own flesh and blood."

"No, I'm not," Cuddy said. "It's you who's making ultimatums."

"Because I love you. Because I see how he twists everything."

"You're the one who's got it twisted, " Cuddy said. Then she added defiantly: "I want you to go."

"Lisa, you're making a huge mistake."

"No, the mistake was you coming over here like this. Unannounced. Making threats. I'll never forgive you for this, Julia. Never."

Julia looked at House, then back at her sister. She knew she was defeated.

"Just don't come crying to me like you did last time, when this all blows up in your face." She was so angry, her face was turning red. "And for God's sake, don't fuck him again. Unless it's too late and you've fucked him already."

"Nice mouth," House said.

"Go," Cuddy said, pointing to the door.

Julia made a "hrmmph" type sound and stormed out.

After she was gone, Cuddy and House slumped onto the couch, side by side.

"Are you okay?" House asked her.

"I'm fine," Cuddy said, through slightly gritted teeth.

He looked at her.

"You're shaking," he said.

He put his arm around her and she let him.

"I'm fine," she repeated.

"Maybe I really should go," he said quietly.

"Do you want to go?" she asked.

"No," he said honestly.

"And I want you to stay," she said.

"But I'm causing trouble with your family."

"There's all different kinds of family, House."

Upon hearing that, House felt like his heart might burst. He tried to cover it with a joke.

"I hope in this family scenario, I'm the hunky distant cousin that you want to have sex with, not the creepy half-brother who masturbates to his Lara Croft videos in his room," he said.

She chuckled, put her head on his shoulder.

"We're going to be okay, House," she said.

"Yeah," he said. "Thanks to you."

#####