AN: Yes, still no hot tub. I swear I'll get to it, and to my two WIPs. But I just happened to have this, and decided to share.
I wrote this for Camunki, whose current obsession with a certain TV show and a certain pairing on that TV show I found kinda cute. So I wrote this to combine her two great loves. :) She found it "cute." I hope you do too.
(PS: I also signed up for the Kurtofsky Gift Exchange now ongoing on Tumblr. That'll probably get me off by butt and writing again in general. Just so's ya know.)
"I don't get it," Dave said, shaking his head.
"What's not to get?" The couch rippled as Kurt threw himself into the empty space next to him.
"I mean, for one thing, neither of them are gay."
"Oh, David, your naïveté is adorable. You think that actually matters."
"It kind of does, y'know."
Kurt shook his own head in something resembling pity. "You have so much to learn, young one. I will school you in the ways of fanon another time."
Dave chose to ignore this. "For another thing, they don't get along at all..."
"That's what makes it fun. The unresolved sexual tension."
"What unresolved—"
"Have you not been paying attention? Have you not seen the smoldering glances? The unnecessary contact? The raw erotic energy just zipping between them?"
Dave raised an eyebrow in askance. "Sometimes I worry about you, dude. Okay, then, here's the third thing: they're nothing alike! One of them is this brooding muscley loner (oh, and yeah, loner? That means 'wants to be alone.' As in, no boyfriend), and the other is a snarky and I gotta admit kinda cute sidekick who's, like, the only sane one in the entire damn show besides maybe his dad and..." He threw up his hands. "I just can't see them together. Like I said, they're nothing alike!"
"Some might argue that that's exactly why they're so good together. Instead of just being carbon copies of the same person, they... complement each other. Fill in each other's holes." Kurt blushed at Dave's smirk. "You know what I mean! I mean their differences is exactly what makes them perfect together. They make each other stronger. They get something from each other that they themselves lack. They're not just mirror images; they... complete each other."
There was a long silence, unbroken save for the commercial on TV. Dave coughed.
"And they're hot, of course," Kurt said hurriedly, sweeping up the remote control in his free hand.
"Fine," Dave said, shifting in his seat, "I'll definitely give them that."
"So!" Kurt's voice was a little shrill, a little loud, as he switched on the digital recording menu. "Ready for season two? Your doubts will be assuaged, I promise!"
"I guess, as long as I don't have to say 'Sterek' again. It's a stupid name!"
"Of course you'd think that. You have no sense of fun or whimsey."
"'Whimsey'? Uh, yeah, I don't have any of that, and thank fucking God." Already the atmosphere felt lighter, as though something heavy, or at least emotionally weighty, had been temporarily chased away, leaving relief at normalcy to flood in in its place.
"Spoilsport." Kurt hit the play button.
"So, does Derek at least get shirtless again?"
"Hmm. For any given episode, I'd say it's a... 45% chance?"
"Awesome."