A Mile in Hers
Nothing signified love like flowers.
But this was no ordinary bouquet; it was a masterpiece, painstakingly arranged by the Gainsborough family, renowned throughout the world for their floral artistry. Each flower was individually selected and carefully plucked from their natural habitat. The basket contained species from over thirty different countries around the world. These flowers were then primed and cultured for maximum aesthetic effect. The way the colors danced, how the petals flowed together to form a brilliant kaleidoscope was beyond what any picture or video could hope to capture. For each flower, it was their destiny to be there, and by the grace of my fortune, it was made so. It was the fifth biggest flower arrangement ever commissioned in Gainsborough history.
And it was all for Kairi.
I was rapt with anticipation. No girl could reject such an astonishing gift. Even the most artistically disinclined individual would find it impossible to resist its allure. I showed it to everyone I knew, and I observed in them a deep stirring—an awe reserved for the most beautiful and stupendous of sights.
I was deeply involved in its creation. From the flower selection to the color scheme, I had the final say on everything. My heart, intellect, and soul resided within this arrangement. Never had I put such energy, passion, and effort into a single thing before.
So why did I feel nothing when she unceremoniously dumped the basket on my desk, the contents spilling over the floor, petals fluttering softly in disarray, broken and spoiled?
"What is this supposed to be? I never asked for this."
Because I knew. I knew that no matter what I did, she would eat my heart, gnash it to pieces, and spit it back in my face.
"You don't like it?"
"No, I just don't like you."
"That basket was worth several hundred thousand munny."
Her eyes lit up in shock. "If I knew, I wouldn't have—" She shook her head violently. "Why would you waste so much munny? Do you even think about anyone other than yourself? How can I accept this when I know that there are people out there who aren't even half, or a quarter, or even a tiny sliver as fortunate as you are? You're unbelievable." She spun around and stomped away angrily. My eyes followed her back until she faded away.
As I sat there, surrounded by morose flowers, I felt something more than the sting of pride. I felt rage. Anger. A violent desire of pain upon she who had made me feel this way. For the first time in my crusade, I was inconsolable. My heart would not be soothed until I saw her beg for mercy, tears streaming down that beautiful face, and then and only then, would I be pleased.
If I could not have her, then I would have to destroy her.
I had perfected the method.
Cleaning was more science than art. It was a matter of matching the right material to the right surface. Once I had recognized that, miracles would unfold beneath my rag. Tables and floors would magically shine and glitter like never before. The right cleanser was necessary. Each stain had peculiar properties that had to be addressed with a variety of chemical combinations, some more effective than others. Through great trial and error, I discovered the precise amounts to restore the Guardian Grill to pristine condition. I also mastered the techniques and motions for the application of cleaning agents. What once required hours had now been reduced to a thirty-minute task. There was no more I could learn. I was so efficient, I had effectively rendered my position obsolete.
Perhaps I should've relished the free time since Auron paid me by the hour, but I found the thought unconscionable. There had to be more I could do, but business only boomed during nights. True to my first experience, the restaurant was dead during the day. Auron was a more than competent cook but his managerial skills left a lot to be desired.
With my extra time, I was able to help Yuffie wait the tables, but she took that as a sign to take it easy, and I had informally replaced her position. She didn't mind since school had begun exerting pressure on her. She spent more time studying than actually working. I, myself, had been feeling pressure from school, but it had nothing to do with academics and everything to do with Seifer. Following my confrontation with him, I had become undesirable number one, and despite hitting it off with Selphie, she started avoiding me. This was a major setback. Yuffie continued to stand by my side and, contrary to popular belief, came out none the worse for wear.
Seifer forced me into an unconventional attendance. I could no longer use my locker since it was so easily pried open and vandalized. My superior intellect didn't require textbooks to succeed in class, eliminating the need for such compartments. At lunch, no table was available to me. Yuffie and I had taken to eating outside. We brought our own lunches anyways. During class, not a single individual was willing to lend me their supplies; just as well, there were plenty lodged in my hair. It was most trying, however, during group assignments. Fortunately, the teachers were not as cruel as to ignore my plight and granted exception to my case. If Seifer wanted to isolate me, he was marginally successful. Yuffie had made it her mission to never abandon me, and that made the students at school question her sanity.
It was a tiresome affair. I was too resilient. Nothing he could do would match the pain that Kairi inflicted upon me—nor the pain I on her. But like a bothersome pest that couldn't be swatted down, his persistence gnawed at my patience. His influence had halted me in my tracks and I was no closer to Kairi. Something had to change if I wished to make progress.
It was a slow night at the Guardian Grill as I took empty plates from customers. Yuffie had taken a table for herself and was heavily focused on a textbook. While closing time was approaching, there remained a customer at the counter who showed no signs of budging. His glass was empty and demanded service.
"Would like me to refresh your beverage?" I asked.
"Please do!" the man answered. He looked into the kitchen with a broad smile. "You sure got yourself a polite one, Auron!" The man was Jecht, a regular at the restaurant and Tidus' father. Auron and Jecht were brother-in-laws. He was boisterous and loud with a chin full of stubble and a belly full of excess.
"Dad, knock it off already," Tidus admonished. He was busy cleaning out glasses by the sink. He wasn't doing a good job since he was so distracted.
"Relax, son. I'm just havin' a bit of fun. Stop being such a tightwad."
Tidus sighed. It was an all too familiar sight at the Guardian Grill: an exasperated son and his intoxicated father. I shared his embarrassment. Such incidents hampered the restaurant's path towards respectability. But Auron made allowances for "family" even if it went against his best interests. Underneath his cold exterior was a surprising softness.
"But what's with this new kid? He think in some movie or something? Can I get you a beverage, sir? A drink's a drink, no need to fancy it up."'
Tidus looked to me for forgiveness. "Sorry about my dad, he doesn't mean it."
"The hell I do! If you wanna survive and get by in this world, you can't talk like that. That's for pussies. Whatchu gotta do, if you want respect, is win. That's all that matters: winning. I know you got a game coming up, son, and if you don't win it, I'm gonna whip your ass."
Tidus played for the DenDen blitzball team. While I never paid much attention to sports, blitzball was the premier athletic activity on Destiny Islands, and the Hikari Group sponsored numerous leagues, including the biggest one of all: the National Blitzball League—or NBL for short. That was how I recognized Jecht as a former pro blitzball player since he was once sponsored by the Hikari Group, but after a shocking fall from grace, he was dropped from our endorsement deals. His issue? Gambling. With mounting debts and less than stellar play, Jecht went from the game's brightest stars to another story of wasted potential. It was clear Tidus was the man's only hope for redemption, but he was not nearly as enthusiastic about blitzball as his father. He played only to appease expectations.
"If you don't win, then you're just a loser, and ain't no son of mine gonna be a loser, right, Tidus?"
"Whatever you say, dad."
If only Roxas could see me now. I had long since shed my ignorant conceptions about menial work. For the world to function properly, these tasks had to be undertaken. Places needed to be cleaned, waste bins to be replaced, and dishes to be washed. It was interesting being on the other side. There were many servants at the estate but I never paid them much mind, and I couldn't help but wonder if their experiences mirrored mine.
There was a big difference between master and customer, however. I always treated servants with respect, but some customers, with their meager payment, felt entitled to unreasonable demands and verbal abuse. I had hoped there was policy in place to govern customer-worker interactions, but for Auron, it was simply "customers pay and get food." With no official guidelines, I was forced to improvise.
Aside from Jecht, there were no more customers. I cleaned up the remaining tables, wiping them down and taking dishes to the sink. I approached Yuffie and sat down across from her. "I can't do everything myself."
She looked up with a panicked face. "I know, it's just—how do you do the homework so fast? If I can just steal your brain..." She gazed at my head of hair longingly. I didn't know whether to be flattered or frightened.
I wondered if I wasn't stunting my intellectual development by attending DenDen. The Academy was hardly challenging and DenDen was even more of a farce. But this experience was far more valuable than any fact stuffed in a book. "Do you need help?"
"Don't even offer, just do it." The material was generic enough that my tutoring proved valuable. She was able to make significant strides in her assignments. Practically speaking, Yuffie was the most helpful individual in this endeavor of mine. It was somewhat gratifying to repay the favor. As I helped her, Jecht's words continued to nest in my head.
"Yuffie, is it true that I speak too softly?"
"That's just how you talk, isn't it? Can't really change that. Besides, I think you sound cool. Like a real gentleman."
I could think of one who didn't agree: Seifer. Perhaps he felt inadequate, knowing that his victim possessed a larger vocabulary than him. "Seifer isn't fond of the way I speak."
"That's cause you make him feel stupid. Maybe you should try dumbing it down."
"How would I do that?"
Her eyes tilted towards the ceiling as she tapped a pen against her lips. "Use less words? Doesn't it take longer to talk like that?"
"I speak as I think. There could be no faster way."
"If you can't dumb it down, just curse." The suggestion was foreign to me—and almost offensive.
"Profanity?"
"Yeah. Just sprinkle it into your sentences."
"I don't believe I'm capable of that."
"What, you've never cussed before? Try it. Say 'fuck.'" I was taken back by how easily she uttered the obscenity. I steeled resolve my and mustered my best attempt.
"Fu…" I couldn't. It was just too distasteful and unnecessary. There were more elegant ways to express displeasure than to resort to mean speech.
She giggled. "What are you, a kid? Ooh, bad words! Trust me, once you start, you won't be able to stop."
"I'm afraid I cannot." I'd spent a lifetime watching my own words, careful never to slip lest I suffer the consequences. The Hikari Group was always under harsh scrutiny and any mistake, no matter how minor, was cause for great embarrassment.
"Stop being such a lil bitch." Once again, her bluntness was rather shocking. I was ill-equipped for such a verbal assault.
"Excuse me?"
"Ain't you got no dick and balls? Man up, Van."
"If you're trying to provoke me—"
"Fuck you and your mom, and your dad, and your whole fucking famil—"
"Silence, woman!" The sound of my fist reverberated throughout the shop. I would not be spoken to like that regardless of my current identity. Yuffie stared at me in shock, and I felt mild shame for giving into my anger. I was about to apologize but she spoke before me.
"You know what? I take back what I said. You don't need to curse. You actually scared me for a second there. Good work." She smiled, impressed. "Sorry about what I said."
"Shit," Jecht let out. "You see, son? That's what I'm talking about right there. Respect."
The next day, I visited the Uchida shop. Since Selphie was out of reach, I needed a different approach. I knew Kairi wouldn't be here since scholarship students were housed in the Academy dormitories. What was I hoping to see? I didn't know. I came here without much thought. Perhaps fortune would smile on me. I entered the store and noticed that Grandmother Uchida was missing. Instead, a young girl with short raven hair tended the register. I assumed she was Kairi's sister. Her head rose upon my entrance and she flashed a practiced smile, which I returned. Upon seeing me, her eyes widened, and her smile seemed to stretch further.
"How can I help you?" she asked, almost leaping over the counter to help me.
"I'm not looking for anything in particular." Her eyes went from the top of my head down to my toes and up again.
"I think I can find something for you." The phone on the counter rang exuberantly, almost rattling against the counter. She didn't react, as if praying for it to subside.
"Are you going to answer that?"
After a brief internal struggle, she ran to the counter and picked up the receiver. "Hello? Yeah, I'm busy right now... Okay, I'll do that before coming home. Alright…okay, I love you too. Bye." She slammed it down, sighed, and waited several seconds before turning around with a smile. "Now, where were we?"
I couldn't stop myself from grinning. If there was one thing I liked about this world, it was the transparency. People loved to express exactly what they thought even when they tried to hide it. That kind of honesty was rare at the estate. "You needn't rush on my account."
"The customer is always my number one priority," she declared confidently. "Follow me." I could tell this wasn't part of her usual service. As she led me through the store, we were blocked by many obstacles. Racks and tables were out of place. She was a little embarrassed. "We're usually more organized than this."
"I believe you." We stopped by a shelf of polo shirts and she began sifting through them.
"So, uh… I'm Xion. What's your name?"
"Van." I had stopped introducing myself as Vanitas. People had too much trouble pronouncing the name. This was more convenient.
"Van… that's a nice name. Perfect for you!" What would she say if I told her it wasn't my real name? A quick look around the store revealed no other customers or workers.
"Are you looking after the shop by yourself or…?"
"Huh? Oh, well, yeah. It's pretty easy since hardly anyone comes in—not that business is bad or anything, it's just, well, it's a slow time right now. Things usually pick up later. I'm just waiting for my mom to come back. I just help out after school and—oh, what school do you go to?" I found her inelegance disarming. Most girls I knew would keep up a carefully constructed façade. She stumbled, stuttered, and was ill-prepared for me. It felt real and genuine in the same way that Yuffie did. There was no pretense; just honesty.
"DenDen High," I answered.
"DenDen? Hey, I also go to—wait, Van—you're Van? Oh my god, that is…that's such a waste! Ugh!" She was heavily disappointed.
"You know of me."
"I guess? I mean, I know I shouldn't believe the rumors but since you're here, do you mean if I ask? Is it true that you…?" She searched the store for prying ears—an entirely unnecessary gesture. "Killed a kid?"
It took every ounce of will to keep myself from bursting out in laughter. That was the best attempt at character assassination that Seifer could muster? "Unequivocally false."
"Oh, okay." She was momentarily satisfied, but it seemed she had more to ask. "And what about the girl they said you rap—"
"Everything you've heard about me is a lie," I stated firmly, cutting her off. I didn't have time to dispel every little rumor that was circulating at school, no doubt all sourced by Seifer. "Are they so easily believed?"
"Crazier things have been true." If the Academy was the image of restraint then DenDen was the total opposite, an unruly world where savage impulse led way to deviance. Wanton relations, narcotics, and violence dominated mindshare, though I had not observed much of it myself. It was myth, perpetuated for the sake of morbid curiosity. There was truth in all things, however, but exaggeration was the norm. I was a shining example.
"Falsehoods, all of them."
"If they're not true, then why do people keep talking about it?" Because rumors had a nasty habit of taking on a life of their own. When word of my father's resignation leaked out to the media years ago, speculation ran rampant. The most ridiculous of which, involved mistresses and scandalous diversions. Even within the estate, whispers spread. Father never explained to me why he stepped down but the most likely reason was the Starwalk Shopping Complex. The deal fell through at the last second and was valued at over five hundred million dollars. It was a significant blow to the Hikari Group and the most reasonable explanation.
"I had an unfortunate encounter with the self-proclaimed 'boss' of the school, Seifer Almasy."
"You mean President? Why would he spread rumors about you?" I found it odd that she would refer to him as "President."
"Do you know him?"
"Yeah, I'm on the student council. I don't hold any special positions though."
"Believe or not, the President is a creature of privilege. His position was granted through nepotism. His father is on the school board and wealthy. With money, comes power, and with power, comes corruption. He is abusing his authority." She was shocked to hear of this. I thought it was common knowledge.
"Wow. Is that true? I wouldn't know because this is my first year there." She seemed eager to believe anything she heard. "So let me let get this straight… you're not a bad guy?"
"Even if I was, why would I admit to it?"
She smiled sheepishly. "I just wanted to make sure."
"You have my word. This all started because of Seifer."
"I didn't know President was like that. He sounds just like the guy who gave my sister so much trouble." Was she, perhaps, referring to me?
"Can you elaborate?"
"Oh, it's nothing. You know that big fancy school, the Academy? My sister goes there. There was this big shot that hurt her really bad. Made life hell for her, apparently."
I was deplorable. I decreed that any persons associated with her would suffer enormous penalty in monetary, academic, and reputable terms. The only class of individuals that Kairi got along with, the scholarship students, abandoned her immediately for fear of my wrath. She was alone. But that wasn't enough for me. I restricted her movements, sabotaged her academics, and forced her to face constant derision. I encouraged the heckling, the insults, but when things went too far, that was when I realized the extent of my devastation. By that point, I was too late.
"What happened?"
"He almost forced her to quit school, but sis is tougher than that. She never gave up. Seems like it worked, because he's not there anymore. He went overseas, she tells me. I thought she'd be happier but she seemed kind of lost." She shook her head abruptly. "Sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I?" She held up the shirts she picked. "Do you like any of these?" I thought about pushing the query further, but decided against it. I didn't want to show my hand too early.
"I'll have to decline." My eyes fell upon the same red scarf that Yuffie had tried to steal. It was lying exactly where I put it. I'd wanted to express my gratitude towards Yuffie for quite some time and this was a good chance. Maybe she would appreciate more as a gift rather than a stolen item. "How much for that scarf?"
She looked at it and smiled. "Let me ring it up for you!" We completed the transaction quickly. "Thanks, and come back anytime!"
On the way home, I thought about reorganizing my strategy around Xion. Perhaps it was only because we were in the confines of the Uchida shop did she allow herself to relax—or she was just gullible. I liked her. She and Kairi didn't appear too similar in terms of personality, but that was probably because she didn't hate my guts. In either case, Xion appeared to be a far more fruitful avenue than Selphie.
When I arrived home, I found the landlord waiting outside my shack. He was a blonde man, gruff, tough, and dirty. Working on machines all day didn't leave him presentable, but he enjoyed the work, so who was I to argue? "How can I help you, Mr. Highwind?"
He gave me a stern gaze, both hands on his hips, and toothpick protruding from grit teeth. "What's with all these blocks? Didn't ya read da fine print?" He was talking about my modifications. After settling matters with the children, the cinderblock lay in the middle of the courtyard. I saw no reason to remove it.
"It's not like the value of this apartment is getting any lower."
"Think you're so damn smart, don't ya? Get that shit outta here." I knew I wasn't Sora anymore, but I still found it irritating to be issued orders.
"If the security were sufficient to begin with, this wouldn't have happened," I argued. The shack itself was pushing the legal boundaries of what constituted acceptable shelter.
"And what's this I hear about all these kids running around? Think I'm running a daycare center here?"
"I don't believe having guests breaches our landlord-tenant contract."
"Goddamn kids these days…" He crossed his arms and bit the toothpick so hard it snapped in half. "Have a little respect for the property."
"I could ask you the same." The place was not cared for too well. The bare minimum was the prevailing mantra. Everything was maintained only to the point of legal satisfaction.
"With how much how I ask from you guys, don't expect much better. Y'all want cheap rent but whine when the apartment is cheap. Whaddya expect? Idiots. Just don't be messing with my shit no more. It may not be much, but it's still mine." He had the nerve to censure me about discarded items when his very own pickup truck was left parked in the front. It was a rusted piece of machine that would be out of place even in a junkyard. But he did lay claim to this land. I couldn't argue that.
"King of your own tiny kingdom." If the cinderblock bothered him that much, I'd get rid of it. "Does this place mean that much to you?"
"Kid, I got screwed, I tell ya. See that lot over there?" He pointed across the street to an empty dirt field. "It was s'posed to become a big shopping complex. Only damn reason I bought this place. Sank damn near my entire life savings. The value would've skyrocketed but the goddamned deal fell through, and now I've got jack shit. It may be worthless now, but I own it, and whatever I say goes. So clean it up."
When I went to school the next day, Seifer was waiting for me by the front gate. Since we shared the first three periods together, I tried my best to avoid him whenever possible. No such luck today. I was flanked by his two cronies: Rai and Fuu. Rai was a big boy with tan skin, muscles, and a compulsive attachment to the phrase, "ya know?" Fuu, a quiet girl with short hair covering one eye, would only speak one word at a time. I didn't know if it was intentional or a legitimate verbal handicap. I was escorted to a quiet section of the courtyard and I wondered if the situation had escalated to the point of violence.
"Chickenwuss." That was his favorite nickname for me. How he came up with it, I had no idea, but it was probably the title for all his previous victims. "If you don't want your little girlfriend to suffer, I suggest you two split up."
"Are you referring to Yuffie?"
"Who else would be dumb enough to hang out with you? Of course I'm talking about her." This was outside my expectations. Why would he care about her?
"Why not follow through with your threat? It's been a week and she remains untouched."
"Because I'm being nice, got it? I'm not trying to be the bad guy here. I'm being generous. Spare her the grief and leave her. As long as she hangs around you, people won't take my authority seriously. The school needs to see you as a lesson. You are what happens when you cross me. That's all. It's nothing personal. But the longer she's with you, the worse she's going to get it." I had to credit him. He didn't pick his targets indiscriminately. He was trying to send a message: fall in line and you wouldn't get hurt. It was a reliable strategy but against someone like Yuffie? It wouldn't work.
"She makes her own decisions. I can't control her any more than you can control me." My comment upset him visibly.
"You saying I can't control you? Then why are you here listening to me instead of going to class? That's right; because I OWN you. You're nothing. You can act cool, but I know that you're cracking. I've seen it before. I've had guys tougher than you, bigger, stronger, and smarter, but as soon as I took away everything that was important to them: their friends, their grades, and their reputation, then they've got nothing left. Strength doesn't mean anything when you're all alone. If you won't do anything with her, then I'm gonna have to take matters in my own hands."
"PAIN," Fuu declared.
"He's serious, ya know."
"If you know what's good for her, tell her to bail or she's going down in flames with you. C'mon guys, let's go." They left.
I stood in the courtyard quietly wrapped up in thought, the leaves falling in a soft flurry. I clenched my fists. It was one thing to target me, but Yuffie? That was unacceptable. The threat sparked a rage I didn't know existed. I was reminded of the whispers that swirled within my estate following Father's resignation. They were harsh words, and I was hurt and offended as if they were directed to me.
But this was different. This scorn wasn't earned; it was collateral damage. Yuffie was the first friend I ever made—not just during this experiment, but perhaps in my whole life. In high society, friendship was a conduit for good business relations. There was no point befriending anyone if they didn't provide a tangible benefit. Yuffie defied that. She supported me because she was my friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
I could finally understand Kairi's rage. At the Academy, there was one who stood by her, a scholarship student by name of Olette. She was a young brunette, studious, kind, and my worst victim—an unexpected casualty. The incident with Olette, more than anything, exposed me to the extent of my cruelty, my uncaring ambition, and my absolute and utter callousness. My eyes were opened, and I began to see the world differently.
Here I am now, in Kairi's shoes, up against an indignation that I would not stand for. I had neither the patience nor optimism to believe that Seifer could go through the same change of heart I was forced through. I had to make a preemptive strike. The ramifications might undo everything I had accomplished thus far, but that mattered little to me.
Yuffie was my friend.
And that was reason enough to risk everything.