Ok, so heres how it goes. I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, it would be very different.

Sirius shifted in his seat. 'For Merlin's sake' he thought gruffly, 'we're wizards, yet we don't even have a spell to get rid of…problems…' You see, Sirius had a problem. A rather…large problem. And it was all Remus' fault.

A week had passed since Sirius had accepted to try the next stage of James' plan, however, nothing had yet arisen to give him the chance to fulfil it, and so he was just stuck in classes daydreaming about Remus again.

He had just been having a fantastic daydream, when he was woken with a start. By Remus. Accidentally brushing their knees together as he turned to talk to Prongs. So this is how Sirius came to have his problem. And of course, it seemed to be a problem he couldn't get rid of right now…

'Stupid penis. Can't you find a suitable time?' Sirius continued his mind grumbling for at least 5 minutes. That was until he was hit on the upside of his head.

"HEY!" Bad move. Next thing he knew, James and Remus were laughing their socks off, and half the class was looking at him. Including Binns.

"Thank you Mr Brown, but I do not believe that you should be so offended by the Goblin Rebellions of 1695"

"Right. Sorry Sir" Was all Sirius could muster, whilst trying to elbow his best friend in the ribs. "I hate you. You know that right?" He growled to James, who, still trying to silent his laughter, just nodded with tears in his eyes.

Sirius sighed heavily and placed his head on the desk. His problem still hadn't gone away…

'Dumbledore in a bikini, Dumbledore in a bikini, Dumbledore in a bikini'

"Yes, only 2 more minutes until we can go!"

'Dumbledore in a bikini, Dumbledore in a bikini'

"Finally, thought the lesson would never end…"

'DUMBLEDORE IN A BIKINI'

Yes! It had worked. Sirius looked up at the two boys grinning, "To lunch then, my friends!"

The Marauders sat at Griffindor table, eagerly awaiting the food platters to appear. When it finally did, the boys made a show of grabbing anything within reach. Well, James and Sirius made a show of it, to distract everyone from noticing Remus grabbing any meat in reach.

"So got much homework tonight Moony?"

"Not really, but I'm not feeling too good tonight, I might get it done quickly and then go see Madam Pomfrey." This code had been sorted out many years ago, and basically allowed all the Marauders to know roughly what time the moon was rising, so they could figure out what time to head down to the shrieking shack.

"Well, if you still don't feel well tomorrow, stay in the hospital wing. Sirius'll be the only one to keep you company though, me and Pete have a detention with McGonagall tomorrow night." Upon hearing this, Moony nodded to his plate, shoving some sausage into his mouth as he did so.

James glanced across the table to where Sirius was sat, who was staring at him, as though he had been confunded. He winked in reply to the unasked question that was resting in Sirius' throat. Well, he and Peter did have a detention tomorrow night. Or, at least, they will do.

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