Please see first chapter for disclaimer, rating, warnings, pairings, etc.
Part 6/?
Chapter 6
Nowhere Man
"We're going where?" Elizabeth asked incredulously.
"Nowhere," John replied, grinning devilishly as she opened and closed her mouth in confusion. She quickly got a hold of herself, however, and glared at him through narrowed eyes.
"John Sheppard, if you don't explain what's going on right now, I swear," she threatened, shaking her finger warningly at him. He laughed, then grabbed her hand and kissed it. She pursed her lips, yanked her hand back, and crossed her arms. He sighed.
"I told you, we're going to Nowhere. It's a smuggler's planet, has a shield over the entire surface that blocks all signals to and from it. You can't even scan it, and it's not on any star map in the galaxy, but once you've been there, you can get there again."
"And you've been there?" she asked, an eyebrow quirked.
"Coupla years ago, yeah. I was tracking a thief and had to ask around a bit. It's a nice planet, really, I mean apart from all the criminals who hide there . . ."
He trailed off, seeing that she was unconvinced.
"No, really, Elizabeth, they do respect the law there, they just don't actively do anything about it. Anybody can hide there, but they won't stop you from arresting anyone. It's mostly just a place people can hide."
"So that's where we're going to spend the next few weeks?" she asked in disbelief.
"Nope," came Ronon's voice over the radio, where he, Teyla, and Rodney had been listening to the conversation.
"What, then?" Elizabeth asked in exasperation, throwing her hands in the air.
"We're just going there for as long as it takes McKay to find and disable the tracking device that whoever it was put on my ship," John answered placatingly.
"Which, may I add," the engineer himself cut in, "might be longer than you want. Although you all think I'm a genius, it'll still take a while to find the transmitter. After that, piece of cake."
John and Elizabeth exchanged a tolerant glance.
"Okay, Rodney," John said loudly, then turned to his wife and asked, "I never thought he was a genius, did you think he was a genius?" before getting up and returning to the bridge.
Nowhere - Orbit around the planet
"So, basically what happens is we shut down all systems until we pass the shield, then bring 'em back online in time to land," John explained to Ronon as they approached the planet.
"What happens if we don't get them back online?" Ronon asked.
John shrugged. "We careen out of control into the planet's surface at a speed of several thousand miles per hour, at which point the ship explodes and we all die."
When no response to that came from his partner, John turned to look at him. Ronon seemed a shade paler than normal, although his expression hadn't changed a bit.
"S'okay, buddy, it usually works. Plus, with Rodney's modifications, we've got a much better chance of having everything work smoothly," John reassured his companion, then looked around quickly. "Don't tell him I said that."
The ship made it through the shield safely, and John's predictions came true as they landed on the surface without a mishap. As soon as they were down, John muttered something to Ronon and left the ship. Rodney had barely begun his search for the tracking device when John returned, carrying a small metal box.
"What's that, John?" Elizabeth asked him. "And why didn't you tell me you were planning to leave?"
"Oh, just a scanner for tracking transmitters," John replied airily, ignoring the second question. Rodney immediately snatched it from his hands, nearly dropping it on his foot in the process.
"Great Scott, this is heavy!" he exclaimed, then, ignoring the looks passing between his friends, immediately plugged his handheld computer into the box. A blue hologram appeared of the ship, and a second later, a small red dot began to pulse on a section of hull near the hatch.
"Bingo!" Rodney exclaimed, then rushed off to disable the device.
"How'd you get that?" Ronon asked John in wonder, looking at the small box, which was still projecting the ship.
"I just looked around until I recognized someone from a wanted poster," John said. "Told the guy I wouldn't arrest him if he could tell me where I could get one of these babies."
He patted the box, which whirred appreciatively, then he continued his tale. "Lucky for me, he had one himself, which he was willing to part with as long as I forgot about seeing him."
"Which you did?" Elizabeth prompted wryly.
John nodded and smiled. "Yep. 'Course, as soon as this whole thing is over, I've got a feeling that my memory might suddenly return, so we may hafta come back here at some point."
Everyone laughed as Rodney came back into the ship, red-faced and holding a small, circular device.
"Got it," he exclaimed proudly. John and Teyla stood.
"Is it off?" Teyla asked cautiously. Rodney shrugged, placed the device on the floor, and crushed it under the heel of his boot.
"It is now," he smiled.
Nowhere - Exiting Orbit
"Well that was a nice, short trip," John said happily as he steered the ship away from the shielded planet.
"Couldn't agree more," Rodney sighed behind him, then turned his attention to the turkey sandwich he had fixed himself from their stores.
The six travelers chatted happily, their good mood restored by the destroying of the tracking mechanism, which they had left on the planet Nowhere, just to be on the safe side. This contented atmosphere was broken, however, when John, in the middle of telling a joke about a nun, a penguin, and an orchestra conductor who met in a bar, fell silent and stared at the controls in disbelief.
"What is it, John?" Teyla asked in concern.
"Everyone back to your quarters," he responded, quietly but with a definite note of urgency in his voice. "Rodney, you stay here, I may need your help."
Teyla and Elizabeth looked at each other in alarm, then Teyla picked up Allie and the three of them left the bridge. Ronon looked after them, then at John, trying to decide where to go. John waved him off.
"Go, keep them calm," he said, and Ronon complied. Hesitatingly, Rodney slid into the copilot's seat.
"Erm . . . what's going on?" he asked timidly.
John glanced seriously at him, then replied, "We're being followed."
To Be Continued...
A/N: Yeeheehee, another cliffie :) Don't hurt me, I'll post the next one soon, I promise. And major, major kudos to whoever can spot the Christopher Lloyd/Michael J. Fox reference. Seriously. I'll bake you cookies. Chocolate Virtual Chip or Peanut Butter Bytes. You pick.
Hannah554: Heehee, thanks, yeah this is one of those times where I wish they'd just hire us fanfic writers for the show and be done with it, then we could actually have them act out our stories! Yay! Glad you liked it, here's the next installment!
fyd818: Haha, yeah I had a little -too- much fun writing Michael's surprise, methinks. And yes, the documents manager is officially fallible (thank TPTB), so I'll definitely be able to update slightly more often. Thanks so much, I'm really glad you enjoyed it!