A/N: OMG LOOK AT THIS! I AM WRITING, WHAAAT??? THAT NEVER HAPPENS!
I just watched Pan's Labyrinth and felt a need to do a little update on this, just to get it going again. See if I could pick it up. It probably won't be happening since school is crazy now D: haha.
This title is by Armor For Sleep
Chapter Six: Dream to Make-Believe
Gym Class, yet again. I watched as the football is thrown back and forth between different people. It's just gloomy enough for us to play outside, yet not too gloomy that the humans would freeze to death or be rained on.
I began running towards my teams end of the field, watching Edward race behind the other players. This was the first time, surprisingly, in all our years together that I had ever really played any kind of sport with him. The boy with the ball yelled my name and threw it as high as he could over the others' heads. I jumped up a little ways and caught the ball in my hands.
I was close to finishing, just keep running, I told myself. Then, there he was, standing a few feet in front of me, a clear path leading to one another. I grinned and then shot back, running for the goal. Edward chuckled and began running after me. I tried to keep it cool, not going too overboard with my speed and I caught snatches of Edward's mind about how I looked when I ran. I grinned and kept my eyes focused on the goal. I dodged through the other kids and smiled as I came nearer to Edward.
I feigned a left, jumped to the right, and he was right there. I tried one last attempt to throw the ball right when he tackled into my stomach and I went flying to the ground, laughing all the way as a boy from Edward's team caught it.
Everyone went running to the other end of the field, and we lay there in the cool, damp grass, laughing loudly on top of one another.
"You put up a good fight!" Edward said with a grin, leaning up on his hands to look me in the face. I grinned and flicked his nose, jumping to my feet.
"Yeah, better than you could," I said. The coach blew into his shrill whistle and we began to head back inside to the changing rooms.
I walked with Edward towards the lunchroom and frowned when I saw Donyel alone in the line up. I walked up to her and tried on my best smile.
"Is Andy here yet?" I asked curiously. She frowned and shook her head.
"I haven't heard from him yet. He should be coming soon, though." I nodded and squeezed Edward's arm, letting him know that I was going out to look for him. Edward smiled and gave me a quick kiss before I left the lunchroom, ignoring Mark's attempt at a conversation.
The parking lot was deserted and it had started to rain slightly. I could feel the misty wetness against my skin, and for the first time, stood there and enjoyed it. This was what made it feel like home. This was what kept me with my brother.
I heard an engine, a car driving into the lot and recognized the birthday gift I had given Andy. He parked in the back, in the only spot available and then climbed out of the seat, flinging his book bag over his shoulder. I started towards him and watched his brown hair dampen and plaster itself to his forehead.
He was staring at his feet, his hands in his pockets and he seemed upset.
"Andy?" I tried softly. He looked up surprised, his eyes darkening when he saw me. I noticed his lip quiver and I moved quickly to take him into my arms. "What's wrong, Andy? Tell me? Please?" he sobbed into my jacket and I felt awkward. Teenage boys weren't supposed to cry, right? These were real, honest to God tears streaming down his pale cheeks, mixed with the rain. I hummed softly as I rubbed his back, holding onto him tightly.
His grip on me was iron, stronger than anything I've ever felt before. "Bella," he mumbled into my chest. "It's over now…"
What? I didn't understand. My brow furrowed so much I was getting a headache. He could tell I was confused. It was a brother/sister thing. That, or he recognized the look on my face as 'what the hell is going on'.
"My leukemia is just as worse, if not more so than it was before," he sobbed, backing away to look me in the eye. My breath caught. "The tests they did? I've stopped responding to any treatment, so I'm going to die anyway, no matter what I do." My stomach fell to the ground, my dead heart ripped in two. "There's absolutely nothing they can do, I'm dying, right now."
I fell back a step and then threw myself into his arms, letting him hold me and comfort me. As if I was the one who was dealing with that amount of crap. Andy shushed me, to try and soothe the dry sobs that were racking my body.
Maybe if I close my eyes, I started to think as we walked back to the cafeteria. Maybe… if I pretend that I never heard him, he won't actually be dying. Maybe my secret superpower is to go back in time, back before anything was ever mentioned about leukemia, back to when he was just a brother. Just a little, innocent brother.
I could pretend… I could pretend nothing was wrong. I could make-believe that he was healthy and strong and so way more awesome than the other stupid high school kids here, because he was! Is! He was the most incredible boy I'd ever seen, to be so strong through so many things. And why shouldn't he be that strong without a disease that was slowly killing him?
No matter how many times I went over it in my head as we pushed through the green doors, into the thick, sweet/sour smell of the cafeteria, it was always there. That one scent. The scent that lingered in the flowery odour of his blood. The one that made it just a little bit chemical, a little repulsive. The sickness. I could smell it in his system, and that made all my imaginings disappear.
Edward looked up when we were feet away from the table and immediately knew something was wrong. Both of us were wet, staring at our feet and had frowns permanently etched on our faces. Donyel looked up concernedly and smiled nervously to Andy. His lips twitched, like he was attempting to be happy, just to reassure her. Edward took a hold of my hand and lifted my face to look into his eyes.
Tell me later? I heard him ask. I nodded softly and then turned back to Andy.
"I'm going to take him home, Donyel. He isn't feeling well. We'll see you later, alright?" She looked at me worriedly and nodded her head. I could see her features growing more and more frightened.
"I'll call you later, okay? Tell me what's wrong?" Andy mumbled an 'Okay' before turning on his heel to head back outside. Edward and I followed close behind.
I placed Andy in the backseat of my car while Edward went to tell the secretary we were gone.
"Andy…" I began quietly. "Are you going to be alright?" he looked up at me from under his heavy eyelids.
"Yeah…" he began slowly with a hoarse voice. "I think I'm getting a cold, though." I couldn't help but laugh breathily at how nonchalantly he was acting. "I think I'm supposed to be used to the idea that this was coming by now…" he began when I sat down in my own seat. "I mean, I've known since I was young that my cancer was a lot worse than other people's… but I guess I was hoping that maybe it would be alright in the end."
Edward climbed into the driver's seat and started up the car, driving slowly (for once) towards my old house, Andy's house. "It's so stupid…" my brother continued. "People have been beating this disease for so long now… and I'm this healthy teenager and I can't even do it. I can't come close! Now, I'm officially dying, and there's nothing that can be done about it." Edward's breath caught and I opened my mind so that he knew the whole story. He looked at me with sad eyes and grabbed onto my hand comfortingly.
"What about my car?" Andy said after a moments silence while we walked the steps to his house. I laughed again at this.
"Edward's gone to get it. I'm going to stay with you until you go to sleep. I think that's what would be the best for you right now." Andy smiled and nodded. His mother wasn't home; she was still out at work and would be until later that evening. I followed him through the house, upstairs to his room. He slipped out of his clothes quickly and climbed into the warm duvet on his bed.
"You're going to stay with me, right?" he nearly pleaded. I smiled and nodded, taking a seat next to the side of his bed.
"I'll be here for however long you want me to be," Andy smiled and nodded, pulling the blanket up close to his chin.
He looked so fragile. Not that being a human, and me being this super strong killing machine didn't already make him fragile. It was because of the cancer.
And, it shouldn't even have hit me this hard, but because now it was official, I think that made things all the worse. How many times did I have to be dealt this blow before I realised that every moment I spent with him was precious? That every moment could be his last?
"Bella, I've been thinking…" he said quietly. I angled myself more towards him and looked down at his sad, brown eyes. He wouldn't meet me, kept staring at a spot on his wall, or the duvet, I couldn't tell. "I've been thinking, what if I was like you?" I froze. That's it, right there. I'm done. I don't want any talk of there being an end which requires salvation by vampirism. That's not right.
"Why would you think such a thing," I said forcefully. He looked into my eyes then, seeming even sadder.
"I mean, once I die, I'll die. And that's it. It can't be helped," he started again. "I won't tell Donyel how I really feel, I won't get to say goodbye to my mother, and I won't get to know my sister and her family." Those were very good points. And becoming a vampire has to do with what? "If you changed me into a vampire before I got worse, then maybe I could do all of those things. Maybe, I could admit how I felt to Donyel if I knew I could watch her live out the rest of her life. Maybe I could say goodbye for good to my mother if I knew I could see her carry on. And, maybe if I was like you, then I could be with you and Edward and I could get to know you, and him, and everyone else that you've mentioned." My face softened. That would be something I'd look forward to.
"I know you'd probably have some stupid excuse like 'that's not how I'm supposed to live my life, I should be a normal boy and not suck blood to stay alive,' but you're not exactly normal! And you're my sister!" His tone was lighter now; it was hard not to smile as I listened to him. "But, if I was changed, then I could be with you, and not be without anyone. And, you tell me what part of dying at eighteen is normal for a human boy?" I giggled then, softly. It was true. All of this were things I had been told were discussed at the time of my change.
"Andy, is that what you'd really want? To live forever just to stay, in some way, alive?" He thought for a moment and then met my eyes again. He didn't seem nearly as sad, more alive, and more hopeful than I'd ever seen him.
"Yeah, Bella. I really do," he whispered. "I don't want to go to some dark place alone. I want to be with you, my sister." I smiled to myself and leaned onto his bed.
"Then that's what we'll do," I told him. "Only after you graduate, though. Promise me that?" He nodded with a smile and snuggled into his blanket. "So, until then, I'm going to make these the best damn months of your life!" he chuckled at my exclamation and turned onto his side, closing his eyes and giving into exhaustion. I stayed there until I heard his breathing slow down, when he was finally asleep. Edward came in and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I stood up and held him close to me, needing his warmth to think about what I had just committed to.
I guess this was enough times to be dealt so many blows. I guess now I was doing something about it, and that something was making my brother happy, and keeping him with me.
A/N: It's a little short, hey? BUT it got out what I needed to get out, and it displayed allllll the emotions I am feeling right now. So, sorry if you don't like it, but I JUST wrote ALL of that then, no little pieces over a week of time. It's amazing! Two updates in one night!
I hope you liked it. I'm not really sure what's going to happen next. So, any suggestions as to what you'd like to see in this story, as to Donyel/Andyness, or Bella/Andyness, or Bella/Edwardness, let me know! I NEED to know! Otherwise I'll skip to the ending and this will be THE SHORTEST story you'll ever see, ahha!
Aside from Oneshots hehe
Awww, and now that I think about it this chapter is a lot of whining and I don't like it too much, but maybe you guys will.
Review?