A/N:So many of you want to have my head. It's been about three months since I updated and I am truly sorry. I promise that I will never make you guys wait that long again. With that being said I would like to remind you that this story is angst and OOC. For those of you who are wondering this is still a J/B story. Have a little patience with me. This chapter is not Beta'd. The chapter is forty pages long and I decided that I did not want to make you wait any longer. Rocky/Rocksteady54 is still my Beta. She is taking a little time off and I approve:) Love ya Rock. Anyways grab the tissues and let's get on with it. I would also like to give credit to Shawnie F. for helping me come up with the name :)

B.P.O.V

I sat inaudibly with my back pressed resolutely my the chair. My hair was pulled away from my face. I was fully out in the open. My tears were perceptible and able to rupture free as I embraced my qualms. They were being thrown at me and there was no way to dodge them. I placed my face in my hands as the tears fell from my eyes. Normally tears transpire after the session has started but not for me. I was a nervous wreck. My emotions were all over the place. I could hear footsteps approaching. I tilted my head slightly to see a man. He was wearing a white shirt and tie. His ethnicity was Korean American. He wore a warm smile as I stood to my feet. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes.

"Right this way.""

I followed him into his office. His office was exactly what I expected. The walls were white. There was a desk with a name plate that read, Dr Shlong. Then, there was the infamous couch. It was the couch that I would be seated in twice a week, crying my eyes out, and sharing with him my darkest hours. I sighed as Dr. Shlong gestured for me to sit. I sat down quietly, crossed my legs, and tried to gather some form of relaxation. I watched as

Dr. Shlong sat in front of me in a chair. He had a note pad and a pen. I wanted to escape this. Something inside of me wanted to push my feelings into the back of my mind and pretend to be fine. But I knew that would not work. There was no escaping the pain and suffering.

Charlie had been opposed to this sort of thing. But he was not the reason that I was seated here. Something dark was taking a hold of me. I could no longer control myself, my emotions, or my actions. What I needed was help and hopefully I could find it here.

"So Miss Swan how are you?" Dr. Shlong asked.

"Please call me Bella," I answered. "And I could be better."

"Okay Bella I talked to a friend of yours, Jeremy, He was the one who referred you to me
am I correct?"

"Yes."

" Why are you here Bella?"

Why am I here? Why am I putting myself through this?

"I'm under a lot of stress…all the time."

He jotted a few things down and then met my gaze again.

"I want to talk about your childhood. What was that like?"

"It was alright until I was fourteen. My parents divorced and my mom took off. She left me behind to live with my dad."

"And what was that like for you?"

"Hell," I breathed out. "I felt alone. My mom and I were very close."

"And when she left how did you feel?" He asked

"Broken. For a while I felt broken and abandoned. I asked myself why couldn't she stay for me. But as I grew wiser I understood that Renee did not leave because of me. I do not agree with her decision to leave but it was because my parents could not work it out."

"You have a daughter…am I correct?"

"Yes."

"And her dad?"

I paused for a second, attempting to pull myself together. Dr. Shlong sensed my distress and jotted something else down.

"Bella, we don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."

I nodded, "It's alright."

I think.

"I'm sure that every conversation will lead back to Jacob."

"Is that his name?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell me why it hurts you to speak of him?"
I nodded, "He left me when I was pregnant. I haven't heard from him sense then."

He nodded, "Has he ever done anything prior to that incident that has harmed you, Bella?"

I shook my head no as the tears fell from my eyes, "No. He loved me. Jacob was a good guy and I've tried to convince myself that there had to be some sort of sign that he was capable of doing this to me but there was none. He had never hurt me until the day that he walked out of my life."

"Tell me about the cutting?" He said. "Why do you cut yourself?"

The tears formed in my eyes as I shook my head, "How long is this session?" I asked.

"We can use as much time as you need. With time comes progress and that is what I wish to make here."

"I can't do this," I sobbed, standing to my feet.

"Miss Swan, please just sit. We don't have to talk about him again."

I reluctantly sat back down in my seat. My thoughts were racing as Dr. Shlong asked another question. I never realised how much help I actually needed. The road to resentment was short but the road to forgiveness would be rocky. I was sure of it.

I was 99 percent sure that I had still been sleeping. The first reason being that I were in my silk night gown outside in what seemed to be ten degree weather. The wind did not bother me it was my location that had puzzled me. I watched as the sky darkened before my eyes. The clearing was foggy as I walked down first beach. I was not sure where I was headed but I had a strong urge to walk out into the woods. I walked down the beach. There were foot prints there. They were a lot larger than mine. I proceeded forward until the trees covered me. Each branch that I pushed out of the way felt heavy in my hands. I had begun to ponder on whether I had gone completely crazy until I heard voices. As I pushed forward I noticed three men. Their bodies were barely covered and they were hovering over something.

"We are lost," A woman said.

Or someone…..

I took a few steps forward, "Excuse me," I said.

They are ignoring me. Maybe they can't hear me after all this is a dream right? I hope.

"Ephraim," One of the guys said. "What do we do? They are outsiders."

Wait! Did he just say Ephraim? Ephraim!

"We should help them," Ephraim said.

"Why?"

"They are lost. What kind of men would we be if we turned them away?"

"But they are outsiders."

"They need help. I say that we help them out. What is your name?"

He turned back to the women.

"My name is Villa… And this is my sister Annabelle."

I took a few steps forward until I could see the women. They were mesmerizing. Villa wore her thick curly locks piled high on her head. Her eyes were a shade of hazel that I had never seen before. She wore a white cotton dress that buttoned at her cleavage. But what stood out the most was a huge pendent attached to her necklace. There was a five point star in the middle of it. There was no sun out but the pendent seemed to reflect a light off of it somehow. Her sister Annabelle wore one similar. Annabelle was as beautiful as her. She wore her dark brunette hair down her back. Her cotton dress was similar to hers but her eyes were a deep shade of brown and not hazel.

Ephraim helped the women to their feet and they walked out of the woods. I followed them. Curiosity had begun to get the best of me.

But time seemed to flash before my eyes. Suddenly I was down by the beach. It was night time. No one was insight. No one but Ephraim and the woman named Villa. She was kneeling down by the shore as the waves soaked her. The moon light made the woman appear almost inhuman. She was beautiful.
Her hair hung flawlessly down her back. I watched as Ephraim approached her. His facial expression seemed painful as the tears filled his eyes. The woman seemed cold and emotionless.

"Have you come to say goodbye to me?" she asked. "I've never been alright with saying goodbye."

"Yes."

"You are the chief right?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Everyone else seems to call the shots except you," she said coldly.

"You don't understand," He pleaded.

"I do understand. I understand how naïve I've been. But I must say that this is my fault. I should not have believed a lie."

"What I said was the truth."

"Show me," she said as she stood to her feet. "Show me that it is the truth. Tell your tribe the truth."

"I can't," he yelled.

"You can't or you won't?"

"I can't. I have duties…..responsibilities."

"But you can hurt me?" She asked bitterly. "You think that I don't know what it feels like to have responsibilities? We all have choices. How dare you stand before me and speak of this being your only option? Goodbye is not your only option."

"I'm not trying to hurt you. I love you."

"You don't get to speak of love," she said. "I should be enough for you. But I'm not am I? After I've given myself to you…only you then you decide that this wrong. Why did you tell me the truth? Why didn't you spare me the details of our fate together. Maybe it would be easy to walk away. "

"What do you want from me?" he asked

"Silly question to ask," she laughed coldly.

I watched as she walked closer to him. Her fingertips caressed the side of his face whipping his tears away.

"Come with me," she said.

"You know that I can't."

"If were bind together in the ways that you say then you will come with me."

What the hell? Bind….as in Imprint?

I watched again as time warped it's self. I was not on the beach anymore. We were back in the woods. Only this time Ephraim was not present. The other two men were present and so was the Villa and her sister Annabelle. They seemed angry.

"You must leave and never return," One of the men ordered.

"I'm not leaving without him," Villa stated.

"Yes you are. Ephraim should have never agreed to help you and your sister. I knew you were nothing but trouble, to seduce the chief and embarrass his wife is unacceptable. You may never come on our land again."

"I never seduced him," she yelled. "What we have is love. I am his imprint."

"You are not," The man hissed. "And even if that were true no one will believe you. Your time here is up. Ephraim wants nothing more to do with you both."

"I don't believe that," she said. "Your lying."

"Your proof is here. He did not wish to say goodbye to you. That is some love that you share," He hissed.

"He's worried of what you will think of him. I'll never understand why he wish to please you in the way that he does but I know that what we share is love."

The man took a step forward, "If you wish to make a fool of yourself go ahead. Go to him and ask him to turn his back on his tribe for you," He laughed. "This is your final goodbye to him. Prove to me that what you have is love. If he denies you, both of you shall leave this land in peace and never return."

The woman grew silent. She turned to her sister before she spoke again, "Alright."

The time warp happened again. This time I was inside of a tent. There was a woman. I could barely see her face. She was kneeling down on her knees. I watched as her sobs picked up. Ephraim stood next to her. He stood there emotionless. The tears were streaming down her cheeks. Both of her fists were clenched at her sides.

"You love me," she yelled. "I know it."

"I don't. I love my wife and I love my tribe. I want you to disappear."

"You do not mean that."

"I mean every word. Leave and never come back."

"Don't do this. I will never allow you to be happy without me," she yelled.

"Keep your voice down."

"Why? Are you afraid of what your people will think of you?"

"Leave. Please."

"I've never been more ashamed of anyone in my existence. I trusted you and you have betrayed me. You have been marked."

"What does that mean?" Ephriam asked confused.

"
You've been marked?

The dream began to fade into darkness. I could see a shimmer of light. But that was until I realized it was just the sun glaring in my window. I rubbed my eyes continuously until my vision was clear. There was a warm body snuggled beside me. I gazed down to see Jade still asleep. Normally she would have been up playing with her dollys or watching cartoons but not today. I watched as her parted lips let out tiny snores. A smile appeared on my lips as I pulled her closer to me and kissed her tiny nose, her tawny cheeks, and then her tiny lips repeatedly. I loved her so much. I needed Jade wake up and laugh. I wanted her to smile and be my ray of sunshine as she always were. Her eyes fluttered open. I smiled again as she smirked and tilted her head back.

"Morning, Princess. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

I sat up in the bed. Jade did the same as we stretched together. I wish I could stay in bed with her like that forever. We could protect one another from all of the heartache and pain that the world had to offer. If only that were possible. But even Jade could not get the images of my dream from my head. It all seemed so real. It had to be real. That had to be Ephraim Black. He looked a lot like Billy, Jake's dad.

I waited for the woman to speak again. I was desperate for her to go on, for her to finish what the words, "You have been marked", meant. I needed to know If it had anything to do with what happened to Jake. Two things were positive to me. One being Jacob was not dead and two there was something wrong with me. I was truly disturbed and needed help in order to be a good mother. Jade deserved that much from me. She also deserved a hero. In this situation I was only fit to be that hero. For the first time it was Jacob who needed to be saved. It was Jacob who needed my help. The only problem with that was the dreading question, why should I help him? Why should I put myself through more grief to save him? Yes I love him still and that is a feeling that will never change. But I would change it if I could.

Because you love him.

Because you are married to him.

Because you am raising his child alone. Not completely alone but without him.

My annoying inner voice continued to banter.

But what has he done to help me?

Nothing. He's done nothing but disappeared but not before dragging you threw the mud and leaving you with unanswered questions. That has not helped you at all.

I got up from the bed, grabbed jade and hoist her on my waist, and walked into the bathroom. I placed her on her feet on top of the toilet seat and turned on the facet. Jade grabbed her pink tooth brush and stuck it in her mouth. I glared at her and began tugging in order to get her to release it. For some weird reason she hated tooth paste. I had to bribe her to brush every single day.

"Jade you need toothpaste," I said. "Please, princess give momma the toothbrush."
She did as I told her. But her facial expression showed how much she hated obeying me.

"Momma I don't like it," she whined.

"I know. I get that but your breath wont be fresh without the toothpaste Jade."

"But mom," she continued.

"Jade please sweetie let's not do this today alright? We had a ruff night."

"Alright."

We finished up in the bathroom and went down stairs. The house was quiet. I stumbled over towards the counter. Jade climbed onto the stool and sat down. I knew it was a bad idea to talk about what happened yesterday but it was an worse idea for her to hold her emotions inside. I'd done that and look where it's gotten me. I pulled two bowls from the cabinet and sat them on the counter.

"What would the Princess like this morning?" I asked with a smile.

"Lucky Charms," Jade chimed.

"Really?"

"Yes please."

I filled both bowls with cereal and milk, grabbed two spoons, and joined her.

After a few bites I decided it was time to be the parent and speak up. Jade looked at me slightly before lowering her head.

I swear sometimes it were as if she could read my mind.

"Momma I don't want to talk about it."

"Honey I understand. I didn't like talking about it either. But I promise talking will make you feel better."

"It makes me sad. I don't like to cry," She said as the tears formed in her eyes.

"You shouldn't be sad. He should be important to you. He's your father. I can't explain what's going on. I know that this is confusing you but I promise your pain will fade."

"I know," she murmured.

"He loves you and I know that wherever he is right now. He's truly sorry for the pain that he's put you through."

Jade gazed into my eyes, "And what about the pain that he's put you through?"

I sighed, "I don't feel any pain. Not anymore."

That's a lie Bella.

Shut up.

Okay Bella go in for the kill. Ask the million dollar question?

"Jade do you know what happened to your father?"

"No," she said sadly.

"He's never discussed any of that with you?"

"No. Sorry momma."

"It's alright. So Princess what's on the agenda today?" I asked, trying to fight back my tears. "We need to keep busy until Sam and Leah let's off of house arrest."
Jade shrugged, "Movies, popcorn, you know momma the usual."

I chuckled, "Alright kiddo let's pop in a movie and back to bed we go."

Jade followed me out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She grabbed a movie from her room and rushed back into mine. I waited on the bed as she popped the movie into the DVD player. Jade climbed in the bed and snuggled in next to me. I wrapped the blanket around us.

"What are we watching?" I asked

"Cinderella."

After a few minutes into the movie I realized something. I had blown off Jeremy. Jeremy and I had made progress. I actually liked him. Some days he seemed too perfect for me. Then there were days when he reminded me that he was fit for me. I liked that. I had begun to realize just how much Jeremy was not Jake. They were two very different people. There were still things about Jeremy I did not know. But I found myself wanting to know more. A part of me felt as if I were betraying Jacob. But I was sure that he would have wanted me to move on. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand next to my bed. Jade was still watching the movie intently.

I flipped it open and texted Jeremy.

Sorry about yesterday.

Buzz.

Apology accepted. I'll let you make it up to me.

I smirked.

Sure. Sure I have to check my schedule and get back to you lol.

Buzz.

Burn…third degree. Someone is in a good mood today huh?

Maybe;) What are you up to?

Buzz.

Alba and I are at the art's and craft store. Incase you are wondering I am not the artistic one…Alba is.

I smiled to myself. I could imagine Jeremy being a painter.

Well I guess I can't ask you to paint a portrait of me.

Buzz.

An attempt would be nice.

Buzz.

I bet.

Buzz..

You haven't told me what you were up to?

You didn't askJ But if you must know I am watching Cinderella with Jade.
Buzz.

I'm sensing a lack enthusiasm in your prior text. I thought women loved the idea of being swept off of their feet by prince charming.

We do. That is until some guy come along and ruin our dream of there actually being a prince charming.

Buzz.

So because of one guy you decide that your idea of a perfect man does not exist anymore.

Yes.

Buzz.

Why?

Because the one guy was perfect and then he did something completely stupid.

Buzz.

Which made him less than perfect. But that does not mean that your prince charming does not exist.

I rather not be that girl who searches for love. I'd rather not make the same mistake twice.

Buzz.

Well what if he came knocking at your door one day?

I bit my lip and gripped the phone tighter.

I'd probably let him in to sweep me off of my feet.

I had become impatient waiting for Jeremy to reply.

What is taking so long? Did I say something to upset him?

I sighed. The door bell ring a few times causing my heart to flutter.

Bella pull yourself together. There is no way that Jeremy is at your door. The nearest art store is in Seattle.

I stood to my feet.

"Jade, momma will be right back."

"Okay hurry," Jade said.

Her eyes never left the television. I walked swiftly down the hallway and rushed down the stairs. My heart was hammering inside of my chest as I grew closer to the door. I opened the door quickly. The air rushed through me. There was a little girl standing there. Her eyes were wide in wonder as she stared intensely at me.

"Hi there," I said folding my arms across my chest.

She smiled at me, "Hi I'm Alba."

I smiled warmly back at her. She was adorable. Her hair hung at shoulder length with bangs. She had huge grey eyes that seemed to sparkle.

"Hi Alba. It's so good to finally meet you," I said kneeling down to hug her.

Alba wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me back. After a few moments she pulled away.
"Where is your father?" I asked.

She pointed over her shoulder. I saw Jeremy briskly trotting up the driveway.

"Where is Jade? I'm looking forward to meeting her," Alba's sweet voice chimed.

"She's upstairs. You can go in if you like."

Alba smiled as I stepped aside, allowing her to enter the house alone. I stood there breathless. My body had grown numb. Mostly from the cold air rushing through me and another small factor was that I had my night gown on which by the way is embarrassing but that did not matter at the moment. What mattered was that Jeremy was here. He was here, standing in front of me with a huge smile and a look in his eyes that showed just how much he wanted to be here with me. Jeremy reached out and grabbed my hand pulling me closer to him. His fingers laced with mine as he closed the distance between us.

"What are you doing here?" I asked confused.

"I missed you."

I missed you too but I will never have the guts to admit that as openly as you just did.

"I….um. Jeremy," I stuttered, avoiding his gaze.

Jeremy moved closer, wrapping his right arm around my tiny waist. His free hand lightly brushed across my cheek before tilting my head to meet his gaze. My eyes shifted from his gaze down to his lips that were parted and moist. My breath hitched as the heat spread throughout me like a wild fire. Without a thought I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips brushed against mine. My eyes automatically closed as I concentrated on his breathing that were slow and steady.

"Bella?" He breathed out.

"Yes," I mumbled.

Suddenly his lips were melding into mine. Everything faded. I was not sure if it were the fact that Jeremy was kissing me or the fact that I were kissing a guy period that made my body explode. I was aching for his touch. Jeremy's tongue gently parted my lips beginning to taste me and I wanted nothing more than for him to do so. His strong arms were securing my against the heat of his. Our bodies were pressed against one another as his hands massaged the bare skin of my back.

I moaned into his mouth when he tried to pull away. Jeremy sucked my bottom lip into his mouth before pulling away. I sighed. My eyes were still closed.

"Bella open your eyes," he said.

I opened my eyes to see him with a smirk on his face.

Yea he realized that he took my breath away.

"I've been waiting to do that for a while," He said.

I stood there in shock for a few seconds. Jeremy's mood changed as he took a step back,

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…done"

"No," I protested. "I wanted you to."

Jeremy smiled lightly. I gazed over my shoulder and then back at him.

"We should um…you know.."

"Check on the girls," he added.

"Yes."

We enter the house quietly. Jeremy closed the door us. I was still in a lustful haze that was until I felt Jeremy's arms engulf my waist. Before I had any idea of what was occurring my back was pressed against the wall, legs wrapped around his waist, with Jeremy kissing me slowly. The kiss was painfully slow but burned my soul with longing and pent up frustration. The proper thing I could have done was pull away because I knew that the girls were upstairs but I couldn't. His body against mine felt amazing. The way his strong hand palmed my ass keeping me in place made my core pool with need.. Jeremy's kisses moved from my lips to my neck as his sucked and nibbled at my skin. My teeth rested tightly onto my bottom lip to stop my whimpering. The girls didn't need to hear me. Something inside of me had begun to question why did being with Jeremy feel right?

"Jere-my…we have to um…stop," I said breathlessly.

"Why?" Jeremy whispered into my neck.

"We can't," I said. "And the girls…they may hear us."

Jeremy's lips attacked mine again. His lips swallowed my words and even though I had been pleading with him to stop moments ago I was kissing him back again. He removed my body from the wall and placed a chaste kiss upon my lips once more before allowing me to stand.

"God Bella what are you doing to me?" He whispered.

"I don't know what's happen between you and I," I said. "But…I think I like it."

He chuckled before kissing my cheek.

Jeremy followed me up the stairs. We found Jade and Alba in my room. I was mortified.

Jeremy had never been in my room. I felt like a fifteen year old girl again. My eyes skimmed the room for anything embarrassing like panties.

That's it Bella? Panties? I'm sure there are plenty of other things in this room that are embarrassing.

"Momma," Jade chimed. "I have a new friend. This is Alba."

I smiled at her, "We have met already, Princess."

Jade smiled at Jeremy and leaped into his arms hugging him. It was amazing how much she had attached herself to him. Of course Jeremy was great with kids but I did not expect him to be amazing with my kid. Jade had always been cautious and hesitant with strangers. It often puzzled me that she was different with Jeremy.

"Jere," she chimed. "I missed you big guy."

We all chuckled at Jade's comment. Her bouncy curls clung to his jacket as she rested her head against him.

"I missed you too. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm great. Did you miss momma too? She's been very sad. I think that she needs someone to make her smile."

Jeremy smiled lightly at her, "You know what? I agree with you."

Jeremy smiled his luminous smile at me. Sure of my blushing, I turned my attention to Alba
who was gazing around my room awkwardly.

"What were you girls up to?" I asked.

" I've agreed to paint a picture of Jade," Alba said. "That is if it is alright with you?"

"That's really great Alba. Do you want to become an artist when you are older?"
Alba nodded, "Yes I'd love that."

"What about you jade?" I turned my attention towards her. "What would you like to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a wolf."

I nearly choked, "Jade you won't be a wolf."

"I can be if I believe in myself. That is what my teacher Mrs. Charlotte tells me. Do you want to hear me growl?" She said, leaping from Jeremy's arms. "I have a vicious snarl."

"Don't," I laughed uneasy. "I'm sure you have the perfect growl, princess but not now alright? Be a good girl Jade and show Alba to your room?"

"Okay momma. Come on Alba."

I watched as Jade and Alba disappeared through the door. My heart fluttered as I turned back to face Jeremy. His deep brown eyes peering into mine as he took a few steps closer to me.

"Does that bother you?" he asked incredulously

"What?"

"Jade's fascination with wolves."

"She does not have a fascination with wolves," I said wryly. "Everyday Jade becomes obsessed with something new. Today it's wolves and tomorrow she may want to be a tree. Who knows?" I shrugged.

"I know what you mean. Alba has quiet a few obsessions."

"Like?" I asked as I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"She's obsessed with painting."

"That's not so bad."

"It is when the paintings change consistently."

"What do you mean?"

"Alba loves to paint people. People change and when they do she alters the paintings. My basement is full of un finished art."

"She's really talented for a ten year old."

"She is very gifted."

"I think she gets it from her dad," I cooed.

Jeremy smiled, "So I was thinking that we could spend more time together," He said.

"I'd like that."

J.P.O.V. (Jeremy)

A few weeks later...

"Are you sure it is alright for me to be here?" I asked as I followed Bella down the beach. I held a firm grip on the birthday cake as I gazed around nervously. It was normal to be worried. After all I was Bella's boyfriend and this was Jacob's territory or at least it used to be. Yes I get that I should be mature but I also understood that not everyone would be in awe with our relationship.

"Will you stop doing that?" Bella said, gazing over her shoulder.

"Doing what?" I retorted.

"Thinking," Bella giggled. "Jeremy Crowe you think way to much. I promise that the La push men will play nice. Besides look at you. I'm sure that you can take them."
I smiled inward, "It's not that. I mean…you don't think that by me coming here that…"

Bella stopped and turned to face me. I relaxed as her beautiful brown eyes held my gaze,

"This is not Jake's home anymore. He left everyone behind. No one will hate you because you're here with his ex wife."

"Technically speaking…," I began.

Bella glared at me, "Were not speaking technical right now. Jade wants you here. I want you here."
"You mean you want me here, right now?" I smirked.

Bella chuckled, "You know what I mean. Just relax."

"Normally I am the one to remind you to do just that."

She smiled that breath taking smile of hers while turning around and continuing her stride. I notice a few people on the beach. As we walked further amongst the few people that were there were Leah and Rick. Suddenly I was feeling slightly better. I liked Leah. She was a good person and the reason that I met Bella. Rick had been my friend for a few years. I could remember our first encounter in Seattle as if it were yesterday.

Flashback…..

The night air consumed me as the fog clouded the streets. I was wiped out. My thoughts were relentless at what had occurred prior that day. My heart held a slow beat as I collapsed to the cold ground. The asphalt was damp as hands pressed firm against it. My back rested firmly against the brick building of what appeared to be an alley. My vision was weak as I closed my eyes tightly in concentration.

My focus was distant as voices echoed in the distance. I turned slightly to see figures at the end of the Alley.

"Where do you think your going?" A man spoke. "We had a deal."

"I'm sorry," Another one said. "I don't want to do this anymore. Just let me go. I promise not to tell anyone."

I watched as the men cornered a guy, taunting him viciously. I strained my eyes in an effort to see what was occurring but no luck availed.

"Of course you won't tell," One of them stated. "Because were going to kill you tonight. But not without a little fun first."

"Please…"

"Please what? Please give you the opportunity to squeal like that rat you are?" He yelled. "I don't think so. When your in there is no getting out, accept one."

Slowly I stumbled to my feet. My balance was unstable as I rubbed my eyes. I knew the effect magic had on my body. I had already suffered from helping an old friend out but I could not walk away. My hand pressed firmly against the brick wall helping me maintain my balance. Walking closer I stepped on what sounded like a soda can, catching the men attention. The taller one turned to me, "Looks like we have company. I guess tonight is our lucky night."

I could all but feel the cool steel that he held in his hand as I got closer. I felt the heat rise within me as I screeched, "Let him go."

"Why don't you make me?"

"You don't want that. I'd kill you in a blink of an eye," I hissed.

The sound of the gun echoed through the alley as he fired straight ahead at me. I felt the movement in body as a harsh sound rumbled from throat. I grunted as the first bullet struck me in the arm. As quick as a blink of an eye all three men were dead. My body collapsed onto the ground with an loud impact. I closed my eyes tightly.

The silent footsteps caught my attention quickly, "Hey man are you alright?"

"Help me up," I murmured.

He reached over to grab my hand only to have me grip his wrist. I restrained him against the brick building, "What is your name?"

"Rick," He managed to blurt out.

"Omnia vidisti videntur fore. Recordamini omnes qui erunt
absunt. Omnia noueritis oblítus".

Rick's gaze fell flat as he stared at me confused, "Who are you?' He asked.

"You dropped this," I said hanging him a fifty dollar bill.
Rick took the money from my hands and smiled, "Thanks. Hey man you seem hurt. Can I offer you a ride somewhere?"

"Thanks."

End of flashback…...

The sound of Leah's voice brought me back to reality. All thoughts of that night vanished into the depths of my mind as I watched their embrace.

"Bella," Leah chimed as she wrapped her arms around her tightly. "I missed you."

"Leah I just saw you a few hours ago," Bella smirked.

"I know. It's been forever. Hi Jeremy. I see your doing the heavy lifting," Leah greeted me.

I sat the cake down on a nearby table, "Just being a gentleman."

I wondered away from Bella and Leah as they began to chat and went over to talk with Rick who was stuffing his face. We were two very opposite people but Rick and I had been there for one another in times of need. Sure he was not the guy everyone thought that he should be. But it didn't have to be.

"Put down the snacks and no one gets hurt," I joked.

He turned to face me, "Jeremy, haven't seen you since Bella kidnapped you."

"Whatever," I smirked. "So I heard the great news?"

"I'm sure you have," He piped up.

"I still can't believe that you and Leah are going to be parents. No offense."

"None taken. I'm still adjusting to the morning sickness. I'm completely wiped out."
I laughed, "Leah is the one who has to go through it."

"I go through the sickness too man. Imagine waking up to the smell of ice cream, chocolate, and pickle juice. That smell is not good on any man's stomach."

After a few minutes Rick and I decided to head back over to where Bella and Leah were setting things up. Shortly after more women and children appeared. I watched closely as Bella mingled with the guest. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. The way her blue jeans hugged her curves was amazing. Her white shirt was v cut right at her round firm breasts. Bella wore her long brunette locks of hair in a lose braid that rested in the middle of her back. I watched as she smiled with Leah and her laughter echoed loudly. No longer could I wait. I needed to be close to her. I walked closer to Bella and reached for her hand. Her fingers intertwined with mine as she smiled sweetly at me.

"Hi," she said. "Rebecca and the girls are about two minutes away. I'm so excited. This is jade's first party."

I squeezed Bella's hand lightly, "You did a great job. This bonfire will be amazing for her."

" You think that she will love it?" She asked worriedly.

I caressed the side of her face with my fingertips and gazed into her eyes, "Of course she will."

Bella smiled lightly as I leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were like rose petals as they intertwined with mine. Just as she slightly opened her mouth to deepen our kiss someone cleared their throat behind us.

Bella pulled away quickly. We turned to see a older man with raven black hair. He was in a wheel chair, a cold glare decorated his face as his attention shifted between Bella and I. She sighed awkwardly and removed herself from me.

"Hi, Billy."

Billy. Oh great.

Anger laced his voice as he spoke, "Sorry to interrupt but Sam needs you, Bella."

Bella turned to me, "Be right back," She said before taking off.
I turned my attention back to the older man giving me dirty glares in his wheelchair.

"So," He started. "Jeremy, how are you?"

"Great," I replied nervously. "Your…umm.."

"Jacob's dad," He finished my sentence. "Yes I am. I've heard nothing but great things about you. I would believe that you are perfect but I've learned that no one is perfect."

I gulped back thickly and managed a smile, "Ok-ay."

"I'm going to be frank with you," Billy stated. "I don't like you around my granddaughter. I don't care for the relationship that you have with her. She does not need you to be a father to her."

I stared at him in disbelief, "Excuse me?"

"Jade does not need a father. She has one."

"I'm not trying to be Jade's father," I stated angrily. "And who are you to tell me what I can't be to Jade? I don't see your son around. If he were than you and I would not be having this conversation."

"You don't know the first thing about my son," Billy yelled angrily. "How dare you."

"I know that he walked out on Bella when she needed him the most. I know that he abandoned a beautiful baby girl and I do not respect a man who would do that to someone that I care for."

"You do not belong here," Billy shouted, causing people to stop and stared us. One of them were Bella. She began making her way over to us.

"Jacob does not own Bella. He is gone. What, did you think that Bella would sit around and wait for him to prance his ass back into her life?"

"Watch your tone," Billy warned. "She will never love you the way that she loves him. You will always be second place to a man that is no longer around."

"I will not," I could feel the heat rushing through my veins. It was not a good idea to get worked up here. Before I could speak again Bella's fingers intertwined with mine, "What's going on?" she asked confused.

"I want him out of here," Billy yelled. "He's a prick and I do not want him around Jade."

"Billy, your over reacting," Bella stated. "Can we discuss his later? Jade is a minute away."

"Sure. You and I can discuss this later," He stated.

I walked away from them in an attempt to calm myself. A few feet away I was stopped by

Bella's voice calling out to me, "Jeremy wait," she pleaded. "Whatever happened between you and Billy we can fix just…"

I turned to face her, "Should I be worried?"

"About?" Bella asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"If he comes back Bella," I stated. "If Jacob ever comes back will that change anything?"
She paused for moment before looking into my eyes again, "It wont change anything. I will still feel what I feel for you."

I took a step closer to her, "And what do you feel for me? I need to know that you if he comes back I won't lose you because I….I love you Bella."

Bella closed the distance between us, "Billy is going through a lot. Don't let his words get to you. Jeremy I love you too. Your all that I think about other than Jade. You don't have to worry."

I wrapped my arms tightly around Bella's waist and pulled her into a hug; my lips pressed against her neck as I inhaled her scent. God she was so beautiful, perfect, and all mine. My grip became tighter as she whispered, "I really do love you."

"I hope it's enough," I replied.

#

Later that night Bella and I had a date. Jade and Alba went home with Leah and Rick. I was excited to do something romantic for her. Bella however hated that it was a surprise. She was dressed beautifully in a teal colored dress and black pumps. Her hair was curled to perfection and her make-up was flawless. The entire car ride was filled with questions, Bella attempting to get me to tell her where I was taking her. I didn't tell her a thing which resulted in Bella's cute little pout that she held all the way there. I led her out of the car and down the pathway.

"Can I open my eyes now?" She asked.

I smiled lightly and continued to cover her eyes with my hands as I led her closer to our destination. I was still surprised that I managed to get Bella to go out on a real date with me. My idea of a date was taking her out to dinner, adding a little romance, and sealing it with a kiss. Bella's idea of a date was crashing on the couch with Jade and Alba crammed in between us watching chick flicks. I enjoyed those nights with them but I also enjoyed alone time with Bella. I enjoyed kissing her without the casual, "EWWW", coming from Jade and Alba.

I led Bella up onto the boat. I was pretty sure that she had never been on a boat before and that part excited. The inside was dim lit. There was a pianist. I spent the entire morning making this place perfect. There were roses, chocolate covered strawberry's, a server, and a gorgeous view of the water. The moon cast light in the class windows onto us a I came to a complete stop.

Bella tensed. She was nervous.

"I really hate surprises," she said.

I chuckled, "I know. But I'm sure you will love this."

"Where are we Jeremy?"

"Here," I said as I removed my hands from her eyes.
Bella grew quiet and she took a step forward, gazing around. I bit my lip, awaiting her response. She stood in front near one of the many windows quietly.

"So…what do you think?" I asked.

Bella turned to face me. That beautiful smile appeared on her face. I took a moment to admired her teal form fitted dress that hugged her curvy body perfectly with the sexiest pair of heels that I had ever seen. God she was a vision.

"No one has ever done something like this for me," She said.
I walked closed to her, "You've never let them. I'd love to do things like this for you everyday."

She smiled, " Your are…"

"Wonderful? Amazing?" I asked humorously.

"No," she said. "Your perfect."

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, leaning in to kiss me. The kiss was slow and appeasing. She was showing me just how much she really appreciated all of this. I pulled away and lead her over to the table. I pulled out her chair. Bella sat down.

"I've never been romanced before," she stated.

I smirked, "Oh baby, you haven't seen anything yet."
Bella and I spent the entire night laughing and stealing kisses. The date was perfect and I was in a blissful state. The way she smiled, the way her eyes sparkled when she gazed at me. Just a slight touch of her velvety skin made me excited, too excited. Bella leaned her head against my shoulder as we gazed at the beautiful view. The moon lit the sky as we appreciated the vision before us.

"Bella," I said.

"Yea?"

"I'm sorry about the argument with Billy."

She sighed and turned to face me, "I will handle it. I'm going to talk with him tomorrow.
There is a lot that we have to discuss."

"How are your meetings with Dr. Shlong?"

"We are making progress but…."

I turned to face her, "But what?"

"I thought that I would feel better about all that has happened by now. I'm afraid that I will always hurt…this way."

I leaned in further, pressing my forehead gently against Bella's forehead. "It will all fade away soon. I promise."

B.P.O.V

To say I was upset with Billy was an understatement. He had been distant ever since Jacob vanished. Billy had no entitlement in my personal life and his approach with Jeremy made me angry. I was not sure if it were the fact that he questioned Jeremy's relationship with Jade or if it were his disrespectful demenor. But no matter what had my blood boiling the most, I would settle this once and for all. If Billy had been hiding something from me I wanted to know what. Billy and I had always been close that was until Jacob left. He shut the world out soon after. He would only talk to me or visit if it related to Jade. I hated the strain in our relationship but he had made it this way.

Last night with Jeremy had been magical. I tried my best to push all thoughts of my fucked up life to the furthest part of my mind for him and that alone took a lot out me. I had so many un answered questions, so much pent up frustration and anger, that it had consumed me today.

I exited the car. The cool air was thick as I made my way up onto the front porch. My tiny fist tapped repeatedly on the door. I sighed, pulling away, and waiting impatiently for him to answer. After a few moments the door opened and the familiar set of eyes gazed into mine.

"Bella, you should have called first," he stated.

"Jeremy make's me happy," I said, angrily. "He's good to me and good for me. Jade loves him and he gets along well with everyone."

"Jeremy is not good for you," Billy fired back. "And you should consider what you are doing to him. He's doing a great job at helping you forget about Jake but I'm going to let you in on a little secret, your heart will always cry out for my son."

I took a step closer, anger getting the best of me, "I love Jeremy ."

"I bet you have no clue as to why you love him. Wake up Bella. He's not your knight in shinning armor."

"And Jacob is?" I yelled. "You have no idea of the damage your son has done to me. You have no idea what the hell I have been through. I've always loved Jake. I would have moved mountains if he had asked me to. I trusted him and your right. My heart will always cry out for him. It's something that I have no control over. But…if I could I would erase every ounce of love that my body still bleeds for him."

"You have no idea of how noble my son has been," He stated.

"I need to know something," I said to him. "I need to know if Jacob talked to you before he left. I need you tell me the truth. Where is he?"

"Bella…"

"If you won't do it for me do it for Jade. You know something that you are not telling. It's eating away at you and that is why you shut everyone out. If you want to be pissed at me, fine. But help me to help my daughter. She needs her father and you know it."

Billy sighed, "I want to show you something."

Billy's wheelchair disappeared into the house. I followed him. My heart beat was inside of my throat as the light came on. I watched as Billy rumbled through a dresser drawer. After a few minutes he turned to face me, "Here."

J.P.O.V (JACOB)

I live in a hallway with only one door. Behind that door is memories. There is no one to save me from the blasphemy of this place. When I close my eyes everything is alright. I am no longer cold. She is no longer hurt. We are just Jake and Bella. We are us. But that is only in my memories.

Flashback…...

I paced back and forth frantically. Sure Bella was allowed to do what she wanted. I had no claim over her. But here I was, pacing back and forth, losing my damn mind every second that she was out of my sight.

It was seven o clock to be exact. It had been ten hours since our argument and exactly two hours since Bella decided to go on her first date. I hated the idea of Bella on a date. My feelings were confusing me a lot lately. Every time I gazed into those beautiful brown eyes of hers she pulled me in. Gravity had pulled me in deeper than I wanted to be and my heart was not agreeing with my brain anymore. I craved her and it didn't take to long for me to freak out.

I paused, running my hands roughly over my face.

What is she doing to me?

What do you think? My annoying inner voice began to banter. "You've fallen in love with her."

Have not…

Jacob, let's not be stubborn here. I know you because I am you. You are standing here feeling sorry for yourself when you should be out finding Bella. She could be letting some moron do horrible things to her and why? Oh because you told her that she would be your friend and nothing more.

I had to tell her that. I was protecting her.

From who?

Me!

You have to tell her.

No!

You have to tell her.

No!

Tell her!

Alright fine.

I grabbed my jacket from the bed and rushed down the stairs. Billy was in the living room. His attention shifted when he heard me. I didn't have time to stop. I just needed to get to her before she decided to do something that she would later regret.
I had no idea of where she was so I called Charlie who seemed more than happy to tell me that she was having dinner at the diner. He was no fan of James, Bella's date.
Well neither am I.

The one thing that I was still unsure about was how do I tell here? How could I interrupt her date and tell her how I feel? I was not entirely sure of what I felt at that moment but I knew that something had changed between us and there was no turning back.
When I reached the diner the first thing that I saw was Bella. She and James were sitting by the window. The smile on her made my heart clinch. She seemed to be enjoying her date. Turning the ignition off, I sat quietly for a moment mentally debating on what to do next. There was only one thing that I could, one thing that my heart told me was the right thing to do.

I got out of the car and walked into the diner. As I approached, the look on Bella's face was livid. She had every right to upset with me after what I had said to her and she could kick and scream every second that would take me to get her out of here but I had to tell her the
truth.

"What are you doing here?" She asked angrily.

"We need to talk," I said, gazing into here eyes.

"No we don't," she retorted. "We have talked enough. I'll take a rain check on conversation with Jacob Black."

"Bella," I began. "We are not doing this right now. Come with me or…"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll call Charlie," I said.

"Don't you dare call my dad."

"Oh I will and I have an ear full for him as well," I shouted.

Bella slammed her napkin down onto the table and stood to her feet. She turned to face James, "This will just take a second."

"Sure," He stated.

I chuckled, "It's going to take longer than a second," I smirked. "You may want to send for the check."

"Jacob," She yelled, proceeding in front of me. "Come on."

I followed Bella out into the darkness. The cool air embraced us as she folded her arms securely around her and stood away from me, "Well…"
"I'm sorry."

"You've said that all ready," She replied sarcastically. "Listen I think that maybe we should not be friends anymore. I would hate to confuse what we are by what my heart wants from you. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings and you sure as hell don't have to feel bad for me."

"Bella listen to me…"

"I'm tired of listening to you explain why we are better off as friends. I get it. You've have got your point across. Bella and Jacob are only friends," She yelled.

Say it. Come on, Jake tell her the truth. Sure you don't want to lose her friendship but if you don't say something and fast you will lose her completely.

My brain did not form the words that my heart want to say. As Bella started to walk away I did the one that I could do to fix this. I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her waist tightly. The look in her eyes shattered my heart into a million pieces, "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Jake."

"I'm sorry for what I said to you. The truth is….I'm in love with you. We are young Bells and the feelings that I have for you scared the hell out of me. I panicked and said things that I didn't mean. You are everything to me….everything."

Before Bella could respond my lips captured hers. They melded perfectly together. Her lips were like clouds and I had been taken completely in by her smell, her touch, her being. Bella moaned contently and that beautiful sound alone pulled at my heart strings. I didn't want to let her go. I wished that we could stay that way forever.

Bella pulled away. She kept her eyes shut savoring the moment.

"Bells, open your eyes."

She opened them, a few stray tears falling down her cheeks. I wiped them away.

"I'm in love with you too."

After that I took Bella to first beach. We had a long talk where she stood in my life. I needed her to accept the change in me. Most of the pack told their imprints immediately what they were but I didn't. I waited until I thought that she could handle it and when I told her that night Bella reacted the way that she should have. She stood to her feet and wrapped her arms around me. She accept me who I was and looked forward to everything that we would be.

The first time that we made love was magical. We were walking to our favorite spot beyond the trees. Bella had on jean shorts, a tee shirt, and I was pretty sure that she went braless. My teenage hormones had begun to get the best of me and I almost hardly ever kept my hands to myself.

Bella gazed over in my direction and smiled, "So I was thinking,,,,"

"You bells, thinking?" I joked. "That's a stretch."

"Ha ha very funny but yes I was thinking that I should throw you a birthday party."

I shot her a death glare and rolled my eyes, "A party? Why?"

"Because Jake," she whined. "You've never had one. They are so much fun."

"I don't like parties," I blurted out.

"God black, you are a real party pooper," she stated.

I could feel the storm coming. I had always been able to sense the change in weather, wolf senses. But I liked the idea of seeing Bella completely drench. We stopped for a moment so that she could tie her shoes. Watching her bend to tie them was painful. Bella gazed at me confused and rested against a tree opposite of me.

"A storm is coming," I said.

"How long do you think we have?" she asked.

I walked closer to her, "Depends on what were talking about here," I stated.
Her heart beat picked up as I traced the outline of her lips with my finger tip.

"Jake," she said. Her voice was heavy with lust.

In one swift motion I gripped her waist pulling her to me. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled taking all of me in. My hands trailed down her sides, her eyes were still lit with desire as I began my assault on her neck, forcing Bella's legs up around my waist and pressing my hardened member against her core.

"Oh Jake," She breathed out through pants as my teeth grazed my skin.

I pause for a second and smiled sweetly at her, "Bells I love you. But if you are not ready I can..."

"Don't stop Jacob," she moaned.

I pressed harder against her and every thought released it's self from my brain. My entire brain had powered down. The only thing on my radar was Bella and her body. I could feel every fiber of her milky skin as her body wrapped around mine. My tongue danced down he her neck as I continued to explore her. Soon enough my soft, pink, and hot tongue lapped circles around her harden nipples slowly causing Bella to moan in intense pleasure. Bella moaned my name, whimpering, and begging me not to stop. Her mind, body, and soul, belonged to me and every time that I touched her every limb burned to the core.

I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, "Bella," I whispered against her lips. "God I love you so much.."

"I love you too," I whispered against his ear.

I sighed as she worked to unbutton my pants. My member was standing at attention as she palmed it, stroking it softly while licking her lips and leaning her head back against the tree. I watched her loving me.

"Shit Bells," I said gripping Bella's wrists and moving her hands away. In one swift movement I removed my shirt exposing my body to her, My pants slid down moments later. Bella gazed at me speechless. She nodded once more giving me the answer to my internal question.

"Make love to me, Jake."

It was not the most romantic setting but that did not matter. I wanted her always and it did not matter where we were, that would never change.

I removed her clothing slowly, exploring every inch of her body until we could not longer stand it. I hoisted her to my bed, her legs wrapped instinctively around my waist as I positioned myself at her smooth wet entrance.

"Jake," she whined. "God…."

"I'm sorry bells. Grip tighter okay, " I mumbled. "Your so beautiful Isabella Swan."

Every inch with every stroke made Bella whimper and grip tighter onto me.I came to a resistance and whispered, "Grip tighter Bella."

With one quick thrust I broke barrier between us. Bella's nails dug into my back. I allowed her to adjust to me before continuing again. My thrusts were slow and deep as I kissed her soft pink lips.

"Jacob," She screamed as her walls tightened around me. Bella's first orgasm approached. My right hand kneading the bare skin of her side and I pumped in and out causing her to gush over me.

"That's it bells," I said. "You feel so good."

I leaned in to kiss my lips. The passion and lust radiating from her as my hand rested between her thighs on her silky button causing Bella to quiver at contact. It did not take long for us both to find relief from the sexual frustration we had been succumbed to.

I had never wanted anything so much. Reminding myself of the times that we shared helps. But only a while and then I'm right back where I pain eating away at me more than she could ever imagine and more than I can stand. What happened the other day was a mistake. But I couldn't resist any longer. I've resisted the urge to reach out to her. Bella didn't need me to be any more of a burden in her life now that she had attempted to find happiness. It hurt that someone else had offered her something that I was more than willing to give. The only problem was that I couldn't. I could never be what she needed again.

Jade did not deserve what I had done to her. I loved her more than I ever thought possible. Her laughter was all that I held on to. She loved me unconditionally but not because I am her father but as a being. What happened to me was a tragedy that I would give anything to make right for both Jade and Bella. I've watched Bella tear herself down and rebuild. She is a stronger woman because of me. I would never forgive myself if something happened to them. Bella had been no stranger to the trail of death and the last time Jade was too. What happened with the red headed leech was hard to think of. I thought that I was strong enough to take her out but what happened was far worse than you could imagine.