Yeah, if anyone cared...I'm not dead. Bully for me.
Disclaimer::I do not own Twilight or any associated affiliations. None of it's mine, you guys. Get it through your heads.

I walked Alex out of the bar and down the street, grabbing his hand. He led me to a nearby 'boardwalk,' which he told me was just a long street with little shops and venders. I laughed and tugged him around, getting an ice cream, buying a new pair of sunglasses and just generally acting like a little kid.

"You don't act like a princess," Alex pointed out after an hour or so.

"Not right now. What time is it?" I changed the subject, looking for a clock. I watched Alex pull a phone out from his pocket, displaying the time to show me it was about four; a lot later than I was going to stay out, in other words. "We've gotta go! We're gonna be late!"

"Slow down, White Rabbit," Alex grabbed my forearm, spinning me around to face him. "You can stay out for a little bit longer." We started walking back towards the hotel, talking about family and pets and responsibilities when I stumbled.

Why did I get the feeling this was a bad idea? My stomach dropped when I saw Alex walking over to an ice cream stand. He didn't do anything wrong. He was a good guy. Why was I so worried? I laughed, telling myself I was over-reacting. Yeah, that was it. I was over-reacting. Breathe deep, Bella. In and out. He hadn't even treated me differently. Of course, I was probably just some floozy to him…

"Alex!" a shrill cry came from behind me and before I knew it, a redhead pushed me to attack my new friend. I appraised her outfit – a short skirt with a white t-shirt and a pair of platform flip-flops. What on earth? She was also wearing clown makeup. No, not literally, but it didn't stop me from wanting to shove a pie in her face. Huh.

"Elsa," his smile was tight as he hugged her back. "What are you doing here?"

"Well," she pronounced. "We got home early and I just had to come down to see you!" Everything this girl said was a squeal and over-done. She was an actress, I would bet any money. And I had any money.

"Great." Elsa didn't catch the sarcasm in Alex's voice as she turned on me, sneering. This was going to be good.

"Show's over, little girl. Go home." I grinded my teeth, furious, as she kept insulting me. Over and over. What gave her the right to say that to me? She didn't know me!

"Alex," I started, taking a deep breath. "Ditch the bitch, or I'm leaving. And someone will come find you later to…explain the situation." I looked at him over my sunglasses, making it clear that he would not be pleased with said situation. In fact, it would probably suck. A lot. Elsa gasped melodramatically. Alex stared at me. I stared back. He walked over, pleading with me with his eyes. Something was going to happen. Something big.

Slowly, he wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning in close. Then, Alex kissed me. Long and deep, until Elsa looked like she would cry. He pulled away, breathing heavy, leaning his forehead on mine. "Sorry." His voice was barely a whisper.

"What for?" I whispered back, leaning in to kiss him again.

Alex and I walked into the hotel hand in hand only to find Jasper, pacing back and forth in the lobby.

"Jazzy," I grinned. "I made a new friend!"

"Mason told me." Jasper was snippy. Which worried me – Jasper didn't get snippy. "Bee," he sighed. "When will you learn?"

"When will I learn what?" I dropped Alex's hand, taking a step – caught between my old friend and my new…something. My voice was small, lost. It was a drastic swing and the earlier 'oh, God, what am I doing?' feeling came back, punching me in the gut. I felt the tears build up. Jasper looked so disappointed in me. I hadn't made a new friend – as much as I loved him, Jasper was a friend chosen for me. My whole life was planned out. I like Alex, but in Jasper's eyes, that was a crime. Everything I did of my own accord was a crime.

I refused to cry. My breathing was ragged as I looked at him, hurting. I pushed past him, acting mad to hide the tears. To delay the sobbing. Crying was so unattractive. My face wasn't a faucet, after all. I felt broken when I cried. Not upset (other than whatever reason I was crying, of course) but like I was cracked. Like someone lost my warrantee, but couldn't fix me.

Running, I passed Martha, who had the tact to stay quiet. We hadn't yelled, but sometimes the quiet conversations hurt more. Point in case: whenever I learned someone was dead, they were quiet about it.

I pushed the elevator button a million times. I kept looking over my shoulder, just waiting for Jasper. He would come after me. It was only a matter of time. But I didn't want to talk. Finally – finally – the doors opened. I got in and punched the button for our floor. In the elevator, I started to cry. One tear slipped out, but then the waterworks began. I started to bawl, and sniffle.

I got out on our floor and was glad there was no one around to hear me crying like a lunatic. The floor was blurry through the tears, but I found our room and stood there, fumbling for my room key. When I found it, I slid it through the slot, breathing a sigh of relief when the light turned green, letting me in.

I slammed the door shut (as much as I could in a hotel) and locked the door both ways, going on to make sure there was no way in before I went into the bathroom to take a bath.

When I was pruney, I climbed out of the tub. Wiping away all I steam, I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red-rimmed and a little puffy. My nose was red. I looked awful. Sighing, I went into the bedroom to find my blow dryer only to hear clicking from the other room. Someone was trying to get in.

"Go away," I called.

"No," Edward responded.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"To talk to you."

"Bullshit."

I could picture him on the other side of the door, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, but Jasper knows you won't let him in and Anthony's at dinner with your new buddy."

"I'm naked." Not technically a lie, having told Edward that, I tightened my towel, as if he could see me.

"All the more reason to let me in, baby."

"Oh, please. I'm sure Barbie can help." My tone, instead of venomous, as I had wanted, was needy. Sad.

"Oh, Bella," Edward sighed. "Sweetie, let me in." I shook my head, not realizing he couldn't hear my head rattle.

"No."

"Please? I won't try anything. We can just watch TV."

I walked slowly toward the door. "Are you sure?" My ear was pressed to the door, one arm wrapped around the top of my towel, which was threatening to fall off. In fact, as I went to open the door for Edward, who assured me repeatedly he wasn't going after me, it fell. The only part staying up being the part I was holding. I was covered, but cold.

"Um," I unlocked the door, but left the deadbolt. Pulling it open, I faced a confused Edward.

"You're supposed to slip it out before you open the door…"

"My towel fell."

"Let me in and I'll help you."

"Yeah, like I trust you." Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Sighing, I closed the door and undid the lock, opening it again. "Just…stay here while I get dressed."

"You mean you don't need any help?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"No, I don't." I rolled my eyes, going into my room to pull on sweats and an old tank top. I pulled my still-wet hair into a bun and re-emerged, my bare feet padding on the carpet. I sat down on the couch next to Edward, curling up into him.

I didn't cry, I didn't talk…we just sat there, his arm around my shoulders; me curled in a little ball next to him. We watched sports for what felt like ages. At some point, I fell asleep. What was with me falling asleep in the middle of everything lately?

"She let me in before she was dressed…nice ass, I have to add. But, she snuggled into me. She's seriously fucked up." A sigh came from the other room and I heard the coffee pot brewing a cup. It smelled really good, but I stayed where I was.

Clearly, it was Edward talking to…who? About me. I sat up, finding myself in bed. What was with these guys?!

"But she can't do this. It's like she doesn't even realize who she is."

"Think about it from her point of view, though." Edward wasn't addressing his companion. Mentally, I cursed. Like a sailor. "She's led this whole lifestyle – wear this, don't do that, date him, be friends with her…she's gonna do this, he'll be so and so…deal with it. It's not fun. So, now, she's allowed to call the shots. Alone. Clearly, she liked him. Enough to check with Mason, too. Bee's trying. She's trying her best. Sometimes, that's all you can ask from her."

"Edward," the other man – Jasper? – sighed. "She's a princess. She cannot go gallivanting around with…strangers." In my head, I pictured Jasper gesturing to Alex, who undoubtedly sat on the couch in front of them. Anthony was probably sitting at the table across the room, his paper in front of him. Maybe dressed up.

Edward sighed, and I heard footsteps. Then a door opening, then closing. I picked up the phone on the nightstand, dialing a number committed to memory.

"Hello?" he snapped.

"I'm sneaking out. Meet me under my window in an hour."

Yeah, this last...three months? More? Yeah, whatever. This last [[insert ammount of time here]] has been where I am adjusting to a completely different life, which is catching up with me. I'm gonna try really, really hard to keep up and write a chapter every couple weeks. If I don't, someone just shoot me a message (comment, whatever). Angry, or not. I don't care. But I need some motivation, here. Are you listening?
diizzy