Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry potter.
AN- I really don't have much to say. It took longer then I thought it would to write this chapter.
Thank y'all too:
Jenie- Did you send an E-mail? If you did I didn't get one. I think my account hates me. I seem to randomly not get E-mails. Forwards I get though. Woohoo Finally someone not bothered by the whole not using Draco's name thing. Yes! Thank you.
mandraco- I forgot I said I was writing Draco. Oops. Thanks.
Kesshite- Thank you
K- Ok I won't damage Harry. Much. Does emotional damage count? Heh. I seriously forgot I said I would write a Draco Chapter. This here is the chapter I promised would appear. I shall try to make the Draco/Harry confrontation very painful for both parties. As for the hot monkey sex hmm I'll try to do the best I can do with out giggling like a twat and changing the rating to NC17.
SatanicGnomes- But I wanna poke him with a stick. *Grin* Yeah I'm trying to work out that teen thing in the next chapters without losing my chapter flow.
Angel of Darkness- probably wouldn't take much to make him cry. I'll take you're word on that. I haven't checked out pic for the next movie though now I am. I'd love to post a poem with this fic if you write it. Sound great.
Catalyst- La la la la la I caaaan't hear you!!!
Val Mora- Cool. I'm glad you like.
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Dream as though you'll live forever; live as though you'll die today.
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Stone curved over him protectively like the underside of a bridge, twisting in gothic architecture. There was a chill and a damp rising that clung to cloth and his skin. Light hit water rebounding and playing across the wall behind him. Draco curled his toes as he dipped his feet in the dark water.
He had slipped out of his dorm shortly after professor Snape had left. He didn't want to go to any of his classes. He didn't want to talk to anybody, look at anybody. He couldn't even comprehend actually going to a Gryffindor/Slytherin class. He wanted to be alone.
He was alone. There was nothing he could do to ever change that…
But for a few seconds he had it. Life in a thrilling gale. The taste of perfection on his tongue. Now it was gone and he was hiding in the dark because it would be too painful to see Harry.
A sob tried to escape but he bit it back this time. He was done crying even if his heart didn't agree. He stared down into his lap and at the glinting metal he held.
When he had left his dorm all he had taken with him was two things. The first had been a light robe that hung airily over his shoulder clasped tightly at his throat. The second object sat in his hand catching the sunlight as he turned it gently.
It was a beautiful dagger, small despite its lethalness. The handle was soft gold, perfectly shaped for his small hands, hiding it's supple self in his palm. The hilt was inlaid with blocky patterns of silver offsetting yellow and cooling the gold's color. The blade itself was pure silver. It swelled from the hilt almost blossom like before melding down to a point. The edges were tapered and deathly sharp.
Sharp enough to cut flesh.
Draco had stolen it last summer when dreams of Harry had forced him to call for a house elf to change his bed sheets. Then it happened again and again almost every night. The dreams had scared him so much that he had decided any escape from them would be welcome. Even one of such an extreme. The room he had taken it from had walls of black marble and cases and racks full of weapons. The dagger had belonged in his mother's personal collection. It was amusing to him for someone as soft as his mother to have such an extensive collection of weapons. All sharp and deadly. It would all go to her love of the beautiful and deadly which might also explain why she had married his father. He wasn't sure but did know this wasn't the time for him to ponder things like that.
The blonde ran a finger down the blade.
When he took the dagger he had no real plan to use it. It had just seemed like he needed to do something. If having it would be like an unspoken threat to not think of Harry. It didn't work as the Gryffindor slipped into Draco's dreams and fantasies and thoughts.
Thoughts that just grew until the school year. Until the blonde thought he would explode without their release. Each day it was harder to not…
Not To Touch!
But he had and it was all the pleasure his fantasies had promised. The pain of its ending, being thrust away had also been just as he expected. Maybe even more for the damage it had done with him, sitting staring at the silver blade. He wanted Harry but….
"Not for me."
With a shaky grasp he pulled up his sleeves showing the milky white skin of his wrist. He stared at it tightening the grip in his other hand. His eyes fluttered in concentration.
Harry Potter was kissable, shaggable, touchable, lovely, sexy, golden, brave, beautiful, precious, kind,
Just not the one thing Draco wanted him to be.
His.
He never could be and a few kisses would never hold him over. He couldn't be forgiven.
It was just he couldn't…..
The blade landed on his wrist and he shook harder.
He couldn't………
He applied light pressure and the blade went down pushing his skin but not cutting yet.
"Can't"
He reached out and held the dagger over the cold water. He would wallow in his pain. He would cry. He would humiliate himself and tease his soul but he couldn't……
He let go and the dagger splashed into the water. He watched it shine as it quickly sank from view. He let out a small sound of disappointment.
It was a pity. The dagger had been very beautiful. Then again he was very good at loosing beautiful things. Maybe he just only touch them briefly.
He drew himself up and his feet took him back to the castle, away from where he had dropped the ornamental dagger deep in the lake. Back into huge darkened stone halls.
He could do this. It was a burn that blasted him but he would do it. He would just forget about having Harry. Content himself with longing glances when his object of affection was certainly not looking.
He couldn't go numb.
He couldn't die.
But he could do that.
Or he would have tried to had he not run right into Harry Potter while walking down one of Hogwarts corridors.
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Ok I think one more chapter should do it. It'll take a while because I think it shall be longer the normal. Yep yep That's about it.
Review or I'll do a bad Cartman impersonation. "Bad! That's a bad Harry Potter and I smack 'im on head!"
*Wack!*
Ta ta Goggled Monkey
P.S. Any really screwed up spelling mistakes etc are due to the fact I am posting this at three in the morning.