Waking Up

Snow White

Rupert took them up a winding staircase to the northwestern wing of the palace. Somehow, the floor was made of moss, and Snow White briefly wondered how it didn't get ripped to shreds every time it was walked on.

"This is your room, Your Majesty."

It was strange to be called by that title after twenty-eight years of thinking she was an ordinary woman from a little town in Maine. This, Snow thought, was one thing she shared in common with Emma, who had never been called "Your Highness" or "Princess". There was so much she wanted to share with Emma, but Snow had to constantly remind herself that Emma needed time. But after what felt like a lifetime of waiting, time was a currency Snow was reluctant to let go of.

"Emma," Snow said, "why don't you stay with me tonight?"

"Why?" she asked her. Snow was sad to see the guarded look in Emma's eyes.

"Because the last time we were separated, you nearly got yourself killed," Snow White said.

"I can take care of myself."

"I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't," Snow White told her, trying to hide the frustration she felt. "I just think that while we're in Wonderland we should stick together. It's safer for both of us."

"Fine," Emma said, looking too tired to put up a decent fight. She walked past Snow into their room and then let herself fall face first onto the bed.

"I will take my leave then," Rupert told Snow White. "If you should require anything, I or one of the other servants would be glad to assist you."

"Thank you," Snow White said and then closed the door. Emma was still lying face first in the bed. If Snow didn't know better, she would worry that Emma had stopped breathing.

"Here," Snow said, "let me help you." She pulled off Emma's shoes, and then placed a blanket over her shoulders.

"Are you tucking me in?" Emma asked. Her voice was muffled by the comforter she laid on top of.

"Yes," Snow silently acknowledged, "I am," but to Emma, she simply said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mar...um...goodnight."

Emma fell asleep quickly. Mary Margaret had always been jealous and slightly in awe of her friend's ability to sleep practically anywhere - her car, her desk at the sheriff's station, and on one special occasion, against the refrigerator door. Emma once told Mary Margaret that it was the product of never staying in one home very long.

Snow White felt a quick, painful stab of guilt as she remembered their earlier conversation...

"You left me to die on the side of the road like I was garbage," Emma had said; "So, why, Snow White, did you do it? How in God's name if you wanted me could do that to your own daughter?"

Hearing Emma say that was one of the most painful moments in Snow's life, almost as painful as the day she had been forced to let her daughter go. Snow White closed her eyes and relived the worst night of her life...

Snow White held her infant daughter in her arms for the first time, and she marveled at how beautiful, how perfect she was. Charming kissed his wife, as baby Emma's tiny hand wrapped her mother's finger. What she felt for Emma was something entirely different than the love she felt for James, but it was just as true and just as powerful. Emma mustered the energy to open her eyes and study her mother's face. Snow White knew all about love at first sight, and this was it.

All too soon, realization hit Snow like a hammer, and she felt her heart stop, "The wardrobe," she told her husband, "it only takes one."

Snow White heard the castle doors burst open. There were yells and the sound of metal clashing against metal. Many good people would die that night fighting to protect their king and queen and, most of all, their infant savior.

"Then our plan has failed," James said. In all the time she'd known him, Snow had never heard her husband's voice tremble like this. The curse was going to destroy them all, including their precious, little daughter. "At least we're together," he told his wife as he tried to treasure the last moments he had with them.

As if on cue, Emma cried. Snow White knew what had to be done.

"No, you have to take her," Snow told him. "Take the baby to the wardrobe." She could hear the frantic tone in her voice. What if he didn't make it? What if...Snow couldn't bear the thought of what Regina would do to Emma if she found her.

"Are you out of your mind?" Charming asked her.

Emma's cries turned to wails. She must have been able to sense the panic in her parents' voices.

"No!" Snow cried. "It's the only way. You have to send her through -"

"No, no, no, you don't know what you're saying -"

"You know I do. We have to believe that she'll come back for us," she said, almost choking on her own tears. "We have to give her her best chance," Snow pleaded.

With tears rolling down his face, Charming leaned over and kissed his daughter for the first and perhaps the last time.

"Goodbye, Emma." Snow White spoke to her daughter with all the love in her heart. She prayed that it was enough for her daughter to remember that she, above all else, was loved. Though she shook with grief, Snow leaned over and kissed her baby softly. Emma was quiet now, even as her mother's tears fell upon her face.

Snow turned away from Charming as she handed her baby over to him. She could not bear to watch him take Emma from her arms.

Taking the baby, Charming steeled himself for what was to come. He leaned over and kissed his wife, trying to pour all of his passion, all of his love, into that kiss, because he knew that he was going on a one-way trip. Charming grabbed his sword and pitied the man that got in his way. He looked back at his wife one last time, begging with his eyes for the love to give him strength for what he was about to do.

Snow White knew that if she had asked him to stay he would. More than anything, Snow wanted to cry, "Give her back to me," but she knew what had to be done. Instead, she sent him an encouraging smile and then watched him leave with her baby girl.

Her heart felt as if it were being ripped from her chest. Snow White was no stranger to grief, but until that moment, she had never truly known pain. Snow White cried as she held out her arms, reaching for the child she would never again get to hold...

Tears ran down Snow White's face as she watched Emma sleep. Twenty-eight years of her child's life had been stolen from Snow in an instant; so even though she was exhausted she didn't sleep for fear that if she closed her eyes her daughter would vanish. Emma looked so peaceful, and just like when she'd been a baby, Emma was oblivious to her mother's tears that fell down on her. It was at that moment Snow White realized that even when she hadn't remembered who she was or where she came from, a part of her had lived on inside of Mary Margaret - the part that never stopped missing her daughter. Every day, she looked for Emma in the faces of her students until one day, a miracle happened. Her daughter walked into her classroom and back into her life. Mary Margaret hadn't understood why, but the moment she saw Emma, it had felt as if her heart started beating again. That was when everything had started to change. That was when Snow White slowly, steadily began to wake up from the curse. She found courage. She found love and passion, but most importantly, she found Emma.

Snow White brushed her daughter's hair away from her face and said, "I love you, Emma."

Emma stirred and quietly said in her sleep, "I love you too, Mary Margaret."

[break]

The two women slept through the morning and well into the afternoon. When Mary Margaret awoke, the first thing she saw was her roommate staring at her intensely. What was Emma doing in her room?

"Emma? Is something wrong?"

Mary Margaret yelped when she saw that she wasn't in her room or even their apartment. "Where are we?" she asked and then all at once her past day - her past life - rushed back to her memory just as it had when the curse had been broken. Her real name wasn't Mary Margaret. She was Snow White.

"No, no, I'm dreaming," Mary Margaret thought even as Snow White's memories asserted themselves in her mind. Emma was actually her daughter, which made one of her students, Henry, her grandson. Then she realized that she wasn't a teacher. "I'm a...queen who was living under a curse for twenty-eight years. Now, I'm trapped in Wonderland. At least Emma is with me," Mary Margaret thought but then remembered, "Emma is my...my..."

"Oh my God," Mary Margaret finally managed to say.

"Yep," Emma said. "It hit me when I woke up this morning too."

The confirmation that she was not alone in her new reality was too much for Mary Margaret. She started hyperventilating.

"Whoa!" Emma put her hands on Mary Margaret's shoulders to steady her. "Calm down. Take slow, easy breaths. That's it. Breathe. It's all going to be okay."

The part of her that thought she was Mary Margaret, was overwhelmed by the idea that she was Snow White, and the part of her that remembered she was Snow White was overwhelmed that her twenty-eight-year old daughter was sitting in the bed next to her telling her to breathe.

"Holy shit," Snow White said. There really were no other words that were appropriate for moments like these.

Emma looked momentarily shocked and then burst out laughing.

Snow White stared at the woman beside her who felt alien all of a sudden. It was as if she only knew Emma when she felt like Mary Margaret. "What's so funny?"

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say the word 'shit'."

"Technically, that's not true."

Emma looked confused. "It's not?"

"No, I said that and a whole lot of others things while I was in labor with you."

Emma's mouth unexpectedly dropped, but she recovered quickly enough. "Oh, well, um...I really don't know how to respond to that, so I'm going to change the subject. Apparently, the scary queen lady downstairs wants us to eat lunch with her and then explain how the our lives turned into a magical soap opera."

"Great," Snow said unenthusiastically, remembering the White Queen and her insane behavior.

"Yeah, and I thought you could be in charge of the storytelling part considering you're the fairytale character."

"What does that make you?" Snow asked rhetorically.

"Not a fairytale character," Emma said.

Snow White opened her mouth to argue with Emma's logic, but then the part of her that was Mary Margaret decided it wasn't worth the effort. Snow needed time to wake up and process her new life.

"Emma," Snow said after sifting through a few of Mary Margaret's more recent memories.

"Yes."

Remembering her brief, R-rated encounter with Dr. Whale, Mary Margaret asked, "Is it cheating when you're married to sleep with someone else if you can't remember that you're married when you do it?"

Emma's eyes widened. She knew exactly what Mary Margaret was referring to. Grinning, Emma said, "I'm staying out of that."

"James is going to kill me," Snow White said.

"Nah," Emma told her. "I wouldn't be too worried."

"And why is that?"

"Well, remember when you told me that Kathryn thought she might be pregnant? I'm pretty sure that means James must have slept with her at least once - probably more than once because he felt guilty for falling for you. So, that makes you two even, right?"

Snow White stared at her daughter who was under the false illusion that her logical approach to the situation was helping.

"Mary Margaret, you look sick. What is it?"

"Shit," Snow White said again. If she ever got back to Storybrooke, she was going to do far more than merely slap a certain Princess Abigail and Prince Charming.