Love Is Torturous

That sky was dark but was tinted white from the stars and the sliver of the crescent moon. With a fresh early, early morning breeze. Birds were still sleeping but the crickets were hard at work with their obnoxious buzzing.

Headlights disturbed thick holes into the fog that formed near the ground. An engine roared then quieted with a turn of a key. The lights faded and then a click echoed inside the dark Audi s6 that had just pulled up around the circular driveway.

The owner of the car stretched his leg out from the door but hesitated on stepping out, as his eyes burned with exhaustion and all he wanted to do was fall asleep against the steering wheel.

A torturous twinge gripped and scratched at the inside of his head. He grabbed his hair and massaged his finger into his forehead, trying to soothe it.

It had started earlier that week, meaning he'd be tortured and abused throughout the year before it'd stop. Before he'd give. Before his body would give.

So long, he thought, as he kneaded his fingertips into his temples. So long it was going to make his suffer, with worse things everyday.

When he and his brother were younger, he hadn't planned on living this lifestyle. He didn't choose it. More precisely, it chose him. It chose them all, but it was just him who decided to let it win. He didn't want to fight it. Fighting wasn't worth it.

Concluding that he wasn't going to do himself any good sitting in the darkness of his car, Hikaru opened the door and slipped out into the darkness of the outside. It was too dark to read his watch, but it was near two-thirty when he had left the warehouse.

His shoes sunk into the soggy grass. His steps sounded as though he was squeezing a wet sponge. It had rained earlier that night, and the water droplets still were visual on his windshield and windows of the mansion.

His steps against the outside stairs were short and mere 'thumps'. He jabbed his hand into the pocket of his blazer and grabbed his bundle of keys. It didn't take him long to locate his house key and open the door.

He opened It slightly, slipping inside the entry hall, being as quiet as possible. He let the door slip from his fingers and it shut almost soundlessly. The halls were dark and silent that it made the house almost eerie, but he was no more fazed by it than he was by the fact that there was a soft light glowing from around the corner.

A light?

Damn...

Cursing under his breath, Hikaru shrugged off his blazer. He was too tired to care so he tossed it into the hall closet, not even bothering to hang it up. His fingers flew through his hair, grabbing and tugging it. Feeling the tangles it had developed earlier from this habit.

Behind his eyes ached and burned, just screaming at him to lay down, almost as if his own body was threatening him. A body that was slowly shutting down, was surely an angry one. His heart thumped against his ribs, making his stomach want to turn. He felt sick.

Or more accurately, he felt dead.

Alive, but dead.

He listened to his own footsteps against the floor, every step was like a short, hallow lullaby, making his more tired than before.

He was a zombie, and he was sure from another man's view, that he probably looked like one, too.

The light from the living room was like the straw that broke the camel's back. He groaned and rubbed between his eyes, cursing himself for keeping himself up so late.

"Do you normally stay out till three in the morning? Or is there a new hobby you haven't told me about?"

Hikaru peered over the head of the couch, seeing his brother resting with his feet up on the table. "...I could ask you the same question."

Kaoru snickered, staring at the glass he balanced between his fingers. "I'm always up."

Hikaru shrugged his shoulders, loosening his tie, and unbuttoning his white dress shirt. He was smirking until he noticed a bottle on the coffee table near his twin. "Are you always up at three in the morning drinking sake?"

Kaoru tipped his glass, watching the liquid in the cup dance around the rim. "...I may be allowing myself to drown in my own self-pity."

"...You sound weird. Couldn't sleep?"

"If you can't live with yourself, how do you expect me to sleep with myself?"

Hikaru's brow knitted, and his forehead creased with his scowl. "...That's deep."

Kaoru let out a heavy breath, rubbing his fingers behind his auburn bangs. "No matter what I do, I still end up screwing things up."

Dropping his hands from his shirt, the eldest sighed and threw himself down on the couch beside his brother. "Is this about, Mayuki?"

"Everything's about, Mayuki. Everything's about them. The opposites of us. You were right, Hika..." Kaoru clenched his fingers around the neck of the glass he held, and watched his knuckles turn white. "I'm starting to wonder about a lot of things you've said."

Tossing his tie on the throw pillow, Hikaru rubbed his hands over his face. "You've never listened to anything I've said before..."

"That was before I knew you were right. We're monsters, and we don't deserve to live here. There's a special place for us, just like you said."

"Hell."

"Precisely."

"...What did you do this time?"

Clenching his jaw, Kaoru's eyes followed an invisible line up to the ceiling. "...I blew it. Just when I grow back her trust, I blow it. You probably heard us arguing."

"You two arguing is what made me leave the house in the first place."

Kaoru clicked his tongue, chewing on the skin of his lower lip. "I don't know what your reason is, but... I'm staring to regret everything I've done."

Hikaru turned from his brother, and looked towards the half empty bottle of Sake, wondering just how much his brother had drank. "Kaoru, I made my choices, and you made yours. We're twins but we don't have to live the same lifestyle."

"I know we've made our choices, and that we can't go back, or... I can't go back, but..." He rolled his head, looking towards his older brother with tired eyes. "I'm starting to think your choices were better."

"And I'm starting to think you're drunk."

"Tch, I'm on my first glass. I can't handle my alcohol like you can, and I don't want to try."

Touching his hand, feeling his muscles twitch, Hikaru didn't have to look at his brother's beaten down expression to know he was hurting. "Kao, don't. You didn't let Fumiko control you, that's the better choice. If you didn't marry Mayuki you'd be in the same position I am."

"Which, right now, seems a hell of a lot better than my position."

"I'm dying, you're not."

"I'd rather be dead."

Hikaru didn't say anything as he scooted closer to his brother, rubbing his shoulder against his. "We've been surrounded by people who have made it work, you didn't know the person you picked wouldn't like it."

"No one should like it." Kaoru placed his cup down on the table, cupping his hands over his eyes, mussing his bangs. "This isn't something people should enjoy. This is torture."

When Hikaru didn't answer he continued.

"I'm tired of living this way. I hate it." He leaned back into the cushions again, looking at his hands. "But I can't do anything about it."

He turned over, avoiding teary eye contact. "I don't want to hurt her anymore."

Hikaru because numb against the couch. Too tired to move. "It isn't your fault, Kaoru. Fumiko wanted us all to suffer."

"But it isn't Fumiko anymore who's making people cry. Why can't we stop it? Why does it have to be so easy to give in?"

Kaoru grabbed the closest couch pillow and stuffed his face deep into it, making it hard to inhale. "...It could have been anything. She could have cursed us to be frogs, why did it have to involve other people?"

"Because she was a crazy bitch who wanted us to suffer even after she found happiness." Hikaru turned, pinching his nose. "Now you know why I prefer being alone."

Lowering the pillow, Kaoru stared at his older brother with foggy eyes. His throat was clogged with a hidden sob. "...Was my relationship with Mayuki the reason why you broke up with, Remiko?"

"No, Remiko was before you and Mayuki even had problems. And we don't have to mention her, she's the past. And she's better off in the past."

"Sorry..."

A deep silence fell between the twins. It was neither awkward nor pleasant. Kaoru finished off what was left in his cup and Hikaru was beginning to doze off. His mind was wandering. Wandering to places it had no business going, so he grabbed his own hand, squeezing his nails into his own skin. Trying desperately to stay awake long enough to drag himself up the stairs and into the shower, then to bed.

Breaking the silence, Kaoru stared at his nebulous reflection in his glass and spoke as though he was speaking to himself.

"...Does that make me selfish?"

Hikaru turned to his brother, but didn't speak, only raised his brow.

"Before we got married, I didn't love her. I liked her, but... I didn't love her." Kaoru looked up, gazing at his twin with sad eyes. "That's why...I didn't do it, until afterwards... Doesn't that make me selfish?"

He turned back at the ceiling. "Or maybe I was just scared."

"We're all selfish, Kaoru. You didn't know you didn't love her. True love can't be felt. You wanted to be with Mayuki, and you are. That's not selfish."

"...If I'm not selfish, what does that make you?"

"More selfish than you."

Kaoru hesitated, as he rubbed his hands into his face again. "If you were, you'd still be with Remiko, or with someone else. You wouldn't be alone, and you wouldn't want to be alone."

"You're probably right."

"Truth is..." Lightly fingering his empty glass, Kaoru rolled his head to look at his brother. His eyes barely open. "...Earlier, I was out talking to Fujioka, and-"

Hikaru groaned. "My lawyer. Why? Damn it, Kaoru."

"You upset her, I was only making sure she wasn't going to drop your case."

"You know that if she does, I'll only be given another attorney, right?"

"True, but... I was talking to her and..." He paused, avoiding his twin's glare. "Okay, I took her out for lunch, but-"

"I hate you."

"No, it's not like that. She's... She's an amazing person, and after this whole fiasco with Mayuki, I don't want it to happen to anymore people. Maybe it's better that the Hitachiin name stops with us."

Hikaru pressed his fingers into his cheeks, groaning from stress and exhaustion. "Please tell me you don't have feelings for my lawyer."

"I'm married to Mayuki, why would I-?"

"Paper work doesn't determine feelings, Kaoru."

"Okay, I love Mayuki, and no. I do not have romantic feelings for, Haruhi, but... When you stand next to her... do you feel-"

"Nope."

"Would you let me finish?"

"I can't believe you. You take my lawyer out for lunch, after you knew I despised her, and want no part of her. Oh, but not you. You take strangers out for lunch and get to know them, and are fine with telling her our family's personal business." His eyes widened at that thought. "God, Kaoru. You didn't."

"No. I didn't tell her anything." Kaoru sat up straight, folding his arms, throwing his legs over the edge of the couch, pressing his shoes to the floor. "And you shouldn't despise her, she's actually nice and apologized for being so nosey."

"But it's not about that." He continued, pursing his lips. "When we were out, the whole time I was next to her I felt... like a tiny electric shock, and it wouldn't go away."

"But you're only supposed to feel that with Mayuki. With me it was normal so I told her to leave us alone."

"...That's why it was weird."

Kaoru's finger's brushed behind his ear, feeling the elevated skin. It was still swollen from earlier, after his unintentional contact to Mayuki's mark, but he remembered it burning, feeling the shocking sensation after being near Haruhi, who, as far as he knew of, and most likely didn't, have a mark.

"There's just... There's something about her that makes her, odd..."

Hikaru's eyes slanted in annoyance. "We're the odd ones, Kaoru. There's no one on earth like us. We have to stay away from other people."

He left his little brother with that, as he pressed his hands to his knees and stood up. Kaoru didn't give him another look, and didn't even try to say anything else to him as he left. But Kaoru didn't move. He just grabbed the neck of the sake bottle and poured himself another shot.

The corners of his eyes crinkled as he frowned at the floor.

"We have to stay away from other people..."

So our family and our curse dies permanently. Only being known to others as a legend as we should be.

Are we really the monsters?

"Oh my freaking god. If you want to date my brother, fine, but could you call him on his time, not mine?"

"You know full well why I'm here. And who said anything about dating your brother?"

"Well you seem so fond of him. Also, I don't appreciate you romantically engaging my brother with fondue. We're going to have to talk about that."

Haruhi stared at her client as he held the door open, though she was sure it wasn't for her, and more for the fact so he could babble nonsense at her.

"Mr. Hitachiin, I don't know what you mean." She went poker-faced. "And do you even know what fondue is?"

Hikaru scoffed, gripping the door knob. "Not sure but neither way, I don't appreciate you doing it with my brother."

"Well I can assure you that it doesn't involve physical contact." She tried not to laugh as she adjusted her bag on her shoulder, after glancing at her watch. "Fortunately for you, I can't stay long. I have a class this evening."

Watching her push her way passed him, and into the main entrance, Hikaru gnashed his teeth and tried to shut the door as calmly and quietly as possible, but still it slammed shut, even against his best efforts.

He glared at the floor, licking his teeth in undeveloped rage. "..It's cheese and crackers..."

She snorted, walking away to the closest table. "That it is."

It was now one in the afternoon, and the twins were the only ones in the house. Mayuki had left somewhere (without telling anyone, again) their mother and father were off working, and their grandparents were having a day out, out in the town.

That left him, and his brother, to deal with the house. As they gave their maids off that day, knowing Haruhi was coming. He was all for kicking whoever came out, out of the house and laughing as they walked away, but his brother, being the more reasonable one, overruled him. Despite everything.

He clenched his fingers into his palms and turned on his heel, stalking after her.

"I thought you'd leave us alone after what I said to you, that day."

Shrugging, she wanted to ignore that, but didn't.

"I don't want to bother you, Mr. Hitachiin. I just want to do my job." She said truthfully, and really, it was the truth, but there was also something else. "Just because we disagree, I wouldn't drop your case and give it to someone else."

"Maybe that would have been better for the both of us."

"I need it for credit. If I do a crappy job, it'll jeopardize my chance to be given real cases and a promotion when I graduate."

"Well I don't see how that would effect me."

"It wouldn't." Haruhi turned her head, looking over her shoulder with her lips curved into a smirk. "But why would I give you the pleasure of leaving and appointing you to another lawyer.?

"God, what are you? Satan's daughter?"

"Sure, and you're the devil himself."

"I can live with that."

She shook her head, continuing on her way until she got to the couch in the living room. "It won't take long today. If you cooperate with me, and not complain about it the whole time, we could get all of this done in no time. What I want to know, is why you have so much violations. Why didn't you learn the first time around?"

Hikaru refused to ask that directly. "How am I supposed to know what not to do, when all the police do is put a sticker on my windshield telling me to give them money. It's not my fault the handicap space is so much easier to use. I mean it's right in front of the building."

"Handicap zones are for the handicap." She looked at before throwing herself down on the sofa. "You're not handicap, as far as I know. Unless it's mental."

Hikaru glared, he heard footsteps behind him, but his gaze was fixed on her face. "Again, it's blue, sometimes it's blended into the road."

"I suppose you'll blame faulty electricity for all the red lights you ran."

He shrugged.

"And the expired parking meters?"

"I have no excuse."

"All the times you've parked on the sidewalk?"

"Those are on the record?"

"Every single time you've been caught doing it at least."

"Well geez, it's not like I hit anyone."

"You also parked in the same fire lane three times, and were charged with it three times."

"So I guess they didn't catch me doing that the fourth time..."

She rubbed her temple, taking a deep breath as she flipped a few pages of the stapled paper she had pulled out of the orange envelope. "I'm starting to think you want to go to jail, but are too scared to commit a real crime."

Hikaru didn't answer.

"That or he has a crush on the police officers wearing mini-shirts." Kaoru's laughter was heard over Hikaru's shoulder. "One of the two."

Hikaru had a biting urge to elbow his twin in the stomach. "Shut up."

"Hi, Haruhi." Kaoru piped up, grinning as he side-stepped away from his older brother, looking completely unfazed from their conversation that early morning. "Sorry, I didn't know you were coming this early. I thought it was two. Had I known I wouldn't have let this grumpy goose greet you in."

Haruhi bit her lip as Hikaru glared even colder at his brother. Looking as though he wanted to strangle him.

"Kaoru, don't you have something to do?"

"Nope."

His eye twitched. "Why don't you go find, Mayuki?"

"Hm, she probably doesn't want to talk to me today. Besides, Why would I leave Haruhi here alone with you? You're scary."

Hikaru opened his mouth to reply, but he decided against it. He just sighed and walked the opposite way as his brother went, dropping himself down in the furthest chair away from his lawyer. "Whatever."

When Haruhi wasn't looking, Kaoru stuck his tongue out at him, but turned around again before his brother could give him the middle finger like he wanted to.

He flapped his wrist towards his older sibling, scooting closer to her as they sat together on the couch. He leaned over the table and grabbed a small stack of papers that had his twin's record of unpaid tickets and casually flipped through it.

He closed his eyes when he glanced at all the violations. "Dude, seriously? How come I never knew you got a ticket for having an expired inspection sticker?"

Hikaru ignored him.

"He's had over two hundred violations in all. Since he was in college." Haruhi looked up at Hikaru, then looked away when she saw his lips had grown back into a snarl. "Which was two years ago. Your last ticket was last month."

Kaoru raised his brow at his twin. "And what was that for?"

Hikaru, again, didn't reply and just excused himself from his chair. Leaving his brother and Haruhi alone with his paperwork. They both watched him walk away, listening to his hallow footsteps against the floor we he headed up stairs.

Haruhi threw her file down on the table and dropped her face into her hands.

"Why does he do this to me? Why does he hate me so much that he refuses to get any of this paid off? He won't do it himself, I already tried." The brunette groaned into her fingers, clenching her jaw shut. "Why won't he let me help him? Why is he so difficult?"

She looked up at Kaoru, her eyes glazed with what looked like tears of desperation. "Why doesn't he do it at all?"

Kaoru shrugged, chewing on the skin of his lip. "I think you intimidate him."

"...How? He's the scary one."

"No, see..." He tightened his mouth as a line between his brows appeared. "Hikaru... He's scared of women, so-"

"Kaoru, shut the hell up, or I swear to god!"

"..."

"..."

Kaoru sank deep into the couch. "...Never mind."

Later that day, an hour or two had passed, Haruhi managed to get Hikaru out of his room by not leaving, and refusing to leave until he'd do some work, and pay off some things. He didn't say anything to her, or Kaoru, and just focused on his papers.

Haruhi didn't want to be a bother to him, and the last thing she wanted was to irritate him and make him hate her, but she really couldn't think of what she had done to make him hate her even before they said two words to each other the first time they met.

Maybe it was the way she talked, or maybe he thought that her voice was annoying, or maybe she wasn't attractive enough, or that her breath smelt funny.

Though her client didn't seem to be like that. It was almost as if he was hateful for no reason, but then that wouldn't make any sense.

What Kaoru had said earlier, about him being afraid of women in general could be it. Maybe Hikaru was gynophobia, or perhaps he simply was just an angry person. Since she had seen him before give attitude to his brother's in-law's, and even to his own mother and twin brother.

Something made Hikaru bitter towards others, and while it wasn't her business, and after being told multiple times by Hikaru himself that it wasn't, she still wanted to know.

She had a strange urge inside, that itched and scratched at her insides, and the back of her throat that made her want to help him. To find out what that reason was.

She wanted to fix him.

Staring at the very few papers she had clutched in her hand, Haruhi made a weird expression, tightening her fingers more, wrinkling the paper envelope.

Though she hoped she wasn't growing a sudden fond for the dark and mysterious.

Oh dear god...

Her expression turned to disgust.

Am I attracted to him?

No stop it Haruhi! You vowed that you were done with crazy people after you left Ouran! No more!

"Haruhi?"

Her eye snapped open wide and she turned to her side, looking with her lips parted a she breathed. "...Yes, Mrs. Hitachiin?"

Yazuha smirked, patting the brunette's cheek. "You were mumbling to yourself. You don't like the outfit?"

Haruhi looked down at her skirt suit. "Oh, no. I was just thinking but... I can't accept this. I mean I could pay for it, but I don't have stab-"

The short haired woman laughed, waving her fingers. "Kaoru's right, you're so silly. You could have that outfit for free, it was last summer's design, it's practically garbage to me, now."

"...Oh."

"But it looks great on you! See, what did I tell you? Pink makes you look like a princess and it isn't even a dress."

She gasped. "That reminds me. I have this amazing cocktail dress in the back. It isn't pink, but I think it'd look gorgeous on you. You've got the perfect curves."

Haruhi looked down again. "I didn't think I had any curves but-"

"Is something bothering you, Haruhi? Is it this whole fiasco with Hikaru? I know, he's a stinker, but really. He's a good person if you get to know him better." Yazuha fluffed her hair, puckering her moist red lips in front of the mirror. "Though he was a pain in my neck originally anyway, so there's not much I can tell you as to keep him in check."

Feeling a sudden warm feeling on her shoulder, Haruhi gasped again, having hot breath roll down the side of her neck.

"Meaning, sometimes she wants to strangle her own sons sometimes." Kazuha spoke, smirking as she watched Haruhi fell into the closest chair. "By the way, I noticed that it's gotten kind of late, and I remember you saying that you had an evening class or something like that. Didn't you?"

She looked at the elder and stood up in a hurry. "That's right, I have that... thing, later. I should go."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hitachiin, for the..." She looked down, then back up at the twins mother, as though referring to the work suit. "I uh... I stayed longer than I should have."

She turned around to leave, clenching her shoulders in awkwardness as she passed Kazuha. "Do you happen to know where Mr. Hitachiin and Kaoru went?"

"Mr. Hitachiin and Kaoru? Not Hikaru and Kaoru? Or the twins?" Kazuha. "Oooh, somebody has a crush on, Kaoru."

"W-what!? No! I was just... Mr. Hitachiin doesn't like it when I-"

"Mother, goodness. Kaoru's married." Yazuha laughed, touching the tip's of Haruhi's hair, making the young girl shiver. "Haruhi wouldn't be interested in a nice boy like him. She likes the fixer uppers."

"Oh boy, she's turning red."

"Okay, I'm leaving!" Haruhi exclaimed, throwing her hands up, swallowing hard as her ears burned with embarrassment. "I really, really have to go."

"Oh Haruhi! You must come next week." Yazuha said, cupping her hand to her mouth. "You could model for me. If this lawyer business doesn't work out for you, I could get you a position."

Haruhi walked away, faster.

"It's raining..."

Haruhi groaned with her hands clenched shut. She stood on the porch of the Hitachiin mansion, glaring at the falling water that was hitting the ground like tiny knives cutting through the misty air.

She glanced up, her eyes slanting as she noticed a large, dark cloud that covered almost the whole sky. There was a rumble in the distance and she knew instantly of what that meant.

Crap...

Not here, not here, not here. Please god not here.

She silently whined to herself and pulled her blazer over her head. Cautious not to slip as she stepped down the outside steps into the rain. It raised so fast and so hard that it sounded the same as if the whole ground was right below a waterfall.

Her clothes were soaked instantly, and water dripped from her forehead the second her hands graced the knob of her car. She took a deep breath as he fiddled with her key ring, having a hard time finding the one to her car, though eventually she found it and threw the door to her car open just enough for her to slip inside. Once inside she slammed it shut against the loud rain with a gasp.

Breathing heavily, Haruhi leaned her forehead against the wheel and without looking, tried to jab the key into the ignition. After a few fails she got it in and turned it but, nothing happened.

He looked down at the key and turned it again, but again... nothing happened.

The engine didn't turn over. It tried to, but failed. It couldn't. Something wouldn't let it.

Haruhi looked over at the gas light, and noticed it blared bright red. She gave it a weird expression until it clicked in her mind.

She was out of gas.

"I'm out of... gas?" She turned to look out the window. Looking at the Hitachiin mansion that was a foggy imagine passed the rain. Then, looked back at the light. "How Am I out of gas?! I don't run out of gas. It was half a tank when I got here. What happened?"

She looked at the passengers seat and grabbed her phone. She had left it in the car when she had went inside so no one would bother her while she was working. He held it and flipped it open, but the screen wouldn't appear. She pressed the power button, but nothing happened.

Her phone was also dead.

"...What? How did... I haven't even used it today!"

She threw it down on the seat and cursed under her breath.

She was stuck in the driveway of the Hitachiin's with no gas and no way to contact anyone, even her father, and she had a class in an hour and a half.

"...I'm stuck here."

She looked out the window again, watching the rain fall, and listening to the rumbling cloud getting closer.

"I'm stuck here during a thunderstorm..."

Damn it.