Centaur A/N: Well. It's here. Finally. This epilogue took us longer than we'd planned (we really did have a big chunk of it already written when we posted Part V)-suffice it to say modern education has gobbled up all of our time. Thanks to all the people who stuck with us for all, what, 125 000 words of this? Sheesh. Hey, Scottishlass-we've just written our first novel! It's been fun, girl! Let's do this again sometime...
Scottishlass A/N: Thank you, everyone. I can't believe you guys have actually read all of this. Anyway, what began is now ended, and, quite honestly, I never thought, when I started, that I'd see its end. This story really did write itself. Thanks to Centaur, and her muse who visited me frequently. And thanks to all ye other dolls out there who kept us going. Hope you like it. We sure do.
Epilogue
Neo welcomed the quiet, the inactivity. When he'd returned to Zion he'd had to suffer through yet another reluctant hero's welcome, but he'd survived it, although he still wasn't quite sure how. His appreciation of the city's luxuries was inhibited by his relatively new understanding of their misguided development. There were still changes to be made, lessons to learn and teach. At the moment, though, he let that slide to the back of his mind as he relished the warmth of the hot spring, inhaling the sweet, clean scent of the greenery. Peace had been such a valuable rarity before... before what? Before the mainframe? Before Zebulon? Before Trinity had--no. Better not to think about that now. It's over, done, past...
Yet he couldn't stop himself, his mind spiraling down a fierce whirlpool where the darkest moment of his life still lingered. After being pulled out of the mainframe, he hadn't wanted to open his eyes. Even as he could hear and feel the fizzle of static electricity that embalmed him as he re-entered the real, he couldn't open his eyes to acknowledge a world in which Trinity was dead. Maybe if he kept them closed long enough, he could fall asleep and wake up again in his cramped bunk on the Neb with Trinity curled to his side, and realize that it had simply been another all-too-real dream. She knew the risks, he reminded himself, we both did. But damn, why couldn't it have been me? It should have been me! And that was when the guilt overtook him--guilt from having survived when she hadn't, guilt from not having been able to help her. Hell, she had defeated death for him. He couldn't repay her.
He realized that his face was wet. He must be crying. His mouth tasted of blood.
Somebody unplugged him. Mole, probably. He still kept his eyes closed. A voice came to him through his self-imposed darkness: "Neo? You all right, man?" Mole, for sure this time. Neo couldn't bring himself to answer. "Hey, Neo? What's up?" Silence. Mole rolled Neo onto his back, shaking him gently by the shoulder. He noticed the blood on the other man's chin. "Oh, shit. Circuit!" Mole's voice rose, louder, turned away. "Circuit, I think something's wrong with Neo. He's bleeding and he won't open his eyes."
Neo had heard footsteps approaching, fast. And farther away, he heard Circuit's voice echoing "No, wait, Trinity--" and he cringed against the name. The footsteps slid to a halt beside him, but he curled up and rolled away from their source. Somebody felt the pulse at his neck, then touched his forehead. He felt a piece of thin cloth pressed to the wound in his lip, torn open from where he had bit it. A hand began to tap his cheek gently, "Neo! Can you hear me?"
His eyes flew open instantly. And there she was, backlit from the blue-white electric glow of the machinery, holding his head and stopping his blood with the end of her own ratty sleeve.
Trinity
.He didn't think, he simply reacted, sitting up and pulling her tightly against him. "I thought you were dead," he said over and over, "I thought he deleted you, I thought you were dead, I thought you were dead..." And then he was kissing her face, her neck, her hands, trying to reassure himself that she was really there, that it was really her. Slightly confused, she just held him as tightly as she could until she felt him relax against her shoulder.
"I can't believe that was it," she said then, "I can't believe you did it."
Now it was Neo's turn to be confused. "Did what?"
She pulled away and forced him to meet her eyes. "What do you mean?" Her eyebrow twitched with confusion. "Destroyed the Matrix, of course."
"What?"
And a small smile broke across her bewildered expression. "Neo--you don't know, do you?"
"Know what?"
"That you did it. You killed him, Neo. The child --Zebulon -- whatever it was. I don't know what the hell you did in there at the end, but I guess he couldn't take it."
"What I did? I didn't do anything. I just... broke, Trinity." His voice choked again with emotion, face collapsing. "I saw you disappear and I thought he deleted you, I thought he killed you... It was like somebody tore something out of me, here." He pressed his fist to his stomach, just below his sternum. "God, Trinity... I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead."
The Matrix had not been destroyed, she explained. It had simply been detached from the machines, pulled from A.I. control. It was a self-contained, independent, non-sentient dream-world now, sustaining its inhabitants until Zion could decide what to do with them all. And while the entire crew was happy to see the sudden, unexpected end of the war, the tone remained somber back on board the Neb. Trinity was certain that the baby wasn't cured. Little Zebulon had given her nothing before being destroyed. Circuit offered continuously to examine her just to be certain, but Trinity refused. "Thank you, Circuit, but I don't need you to prove to me what I already know," she had said.
Trinity's stoic façade never wavered. "I guess it's just what had to happen," she said to Neo, late the second night after the victory. "If I had never become pregnant, we wouldn't have had reason to go to the mainframe. I guess it's just what had to happen so we could win the war." A quiet sigh. "I'll probably miscarry soon."
It was the next day that they received the message -- from Zebulon. Not the boy-Zebulon from the mainframe--it was he that Neo had destroyed--but the original Zebulon, the one Trinity had met during her disappearance. "Meet me in the Construct," he said, "we have much to discuss." They had both gone in together, that time. Trinity seemed impassive, as usual, but Neo couldn't conceal his frustration with the person who had promised them a cure for their child. He couldn't be angry, really--after all, it was Zebulon's guidance that led to the destruction of the Matrix--but he was definitely frustrated.
Neo was also unnerved by the grin that spread across Zebulon's face the moment he laid eyes on Trinity. "Ah, I can see you this time," he said. "So you're Neo," he said, turning. "I'd offer to shake your hand, but when I shook Trinity's, well, something strange happened."
"It's better not to know, Neo," she whispered to him. "You're better off without those memories."
Neo agreed. He wasn't sure he bought into the whole concept, anyway. The words of the dying Oracle rang in his head: "Know Thyself." He wished he could tell her that now he really did. He knew now, though, that he would never see her again. A nudge from Trinity brought him back.
"That's okay," said Neo, declining Zebulon's handshake.
Zebulon smiled and nodded, once, in understanding. "I don't want to keep you long," he said finally, "but our meeting is essential. I have the program and you, eventually, will have the keys to dismantle it. We're going to have to work together to destroy it fully. I called you here because I understand what happened in the mainframe, and I assume you don't."
"You have our attention," Trinity said finally. Circuit's camouflage program was still in place; she bore no traces of pregnancy. Absently, she touched her stomach, felt it flat and firm under her fingers. Beside her, Neo nodded.
"I'll do my best to be brief," said Zebulon. "As you both understand, now, I used to be a part of the Matrix. It was my fusion with the program that led it to become sentient. But then, it was still far more machine than it was human. And the machine part was calculating, stoic, and purely unemotional. That's how you killed it," he said to Neo, "it was by overload. You thought you had lost Trinity, and everything you felt then, in that moment, he felt too. Only he didn't know how to feel. Together, you broke him. And when he was weak-when it was weak, I should say-I became strong. And so now, instead of myself being contained within the Matrix, I hold the Matrix within me.
Trinity let out the breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Neo, who'd taken a fierce grip on her fingers the instant he'd heard the words "lost Trinity" come out of the other man's mouth, whistled softly. It was Trinity who first found a reply: "So you're baby-sitting the entire plugged human race."
"Essentially, yes. It requires little effort on my part. I've existed as a program for 150 years; this is simply a slightly higher level of complexity."
"This is so strange," commented Neo. "It's so... backwards, somehow. I guess I always assumed I'd overthrow the Matrix with some kind of virus."
"That would never have been possible. They are machine intelligences; there is nothing creatable by human thought that would have overthrown them in that field. No, it had to be as it happened; you had to overthrow them with something essentially human."
It was so simple. Neo wondered why he had never realized it before. They lapsed into silence again, but only for a moment, before Neo's frustration overcame him. "What happened?" he asked, finally. "What happened on that beach, in the mainframe, before I got there?"
"She spoke to the Matrix. It recognized her because I recognized her. It wanted desperately to keep her there, you know-and I don't know why. I wonder if perhaps it was more real than even I had thought."
They sat together, pondering, each staring at the white as if something would materialize there and answer the questions. The silence was too thick; it reminded Neo of the black space where the voice had told him to-
Zebulon's voice.
That had been Zebulon, who had told him to believe, had helped him find Trinity.
"You helped me, in the black," Neo said, suddenly.
Zebulon looked up, seeming mildly confused. "Yes," he said, "yes, that was me. You didn't know that?"
"No."
Neo was silent for a few moments, pondering this. He felt Trinity withdraw next to him, closing in on herself, not allowing herself to ask the one question she desperately needed to know. Neo feared the answer himself. "Well, I guess it all makes sense," he said finally. He shook his head. "I wish you hadn't led us on like that, though. Wasn't there another way?"
Zebulon's eyebrows instantly came together, his face concerned. In that moment, he seemed old. "Led you on? I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Our daughter..." Neo's voice cracked, he felt his throat go dry.
"You told me you could cure her," Trinity finished for him, her voice cold. "You told me you would give me a cure in the mainframe. But the boy was destroyed before anybody gave me anything."
Gradually, the crevasses that were the wrinkles on Zebulon's forehead softened. His eyes twinkled. And then, before Neo or Trinity had known how to react, they watched his mouth crack open as he started to laugh. In the corner of his eye, Neo saw Trinity startle, as if she had been physically slapped by the sound.
"I'm leaving," she said, rising.
"Sit back down," said Zebulon, not unkindly. "I don't mean to be rude. Trinity, have you been checked by your medic since you returned from the mainframe?"
Trinity remained silent, blue eyes narrowed and burning.
"You're fine. You're baby is fine."
Her voice came out in a whisper: "I don't believe you."
Zebulon continued. "It true. It's the way it has to be. Your child has to live. The Oracle is waiting for you to have that kid so she can rest."
Neo was ready to leave too, but the mention of the Oracle kept him stationary.
Wordlessly, Zebulon put his hands behind his back. When he brought them back before them, he held a teddy bear, matted in sand. It had one eye. He waggled the bear in front of him, loose grains of sand falling and defining the floor of the construct.
Trinity drew in a sharp breath - loud in comparison to the nothingness - as tears pricked her eyes. "Get rid of that," she whispered.
"It was in the toy, Trinity," said Zebulon, softly. He held the bear out to her and waited the thick minutes until she accepted it reluctantly, hesitantly, as though it might burn her or explode at her touch. It was confusing to Neo, as he'd never seen the thing before. But it was obvious that it meant something to Trinity -- he watched her dust off the sand, turning it in her hands.
"What about the bear?" questioned Neo, his eyes studying Trinity's ashen face.
"Part of the mystery," explained Zebulon. "Her cure. The teddy bear was simply the guise that the program chose to offer. Finding it was no easy task, but I managed to get a hold of it. I was going to give it to her. But it took longer than I'd expected for me to actually gain control, to piece myself together enough to actually manipulate anything. Remember, I was such a tiny part of the program... an essential part, but almost infinitely small. The moment I gathered enough strength, I was going to force it to give her the cure. But it happened too quickly, and this is what I still don't quite understand. It was him, the child, who actually gave it to her. In the hope that she would stay on her own accord, I presume." He nodded to Neo. "When you appeared, it got angry. I could feel its jealousy -- it would have deleted her if it couldn't have her, and I was losing control. So the last thing I did before I let go was send her out. I waited as long as I could." His voice dropped, his tone humble. "That's when you...did what you did. What I could never do, could never have done."
Trinity stood, silent, for a few moments longer, absently rubbing the loose threads from where the one button eye had fallen off. Finally, she turned to Neo. "I'm afraid we're only going to be hurt... but I have to know now. I'm going to see Circuit." She turned to leave, Neo nodding his approval.
"You know another way," Zebulon said softly. "Your child is fine, Neo. See for yourself."
And with that he was gone, leaving them alone in the white.
Neo stood and faced Trinity, clasping his shaking hands with hers. "Close your eyes," he whispered.
And there, among the green complexity that was Trinity, he could see her, his daughter, blue and glowing as clear and pure as starlight.
He reached the bottom of his mental whirlpool with a sigh, opening his eyes to the here and now. Soft footsteps behind him announced her presence.
"Hey," he heard her call. "You comfortable? You've been in here for an hour."
"This is great."
Trinity emerged from behind a gauze curtain, took off her shoes and sat behind him on the stones, and dipped her feet in the water on either side of him. He gently rested his head on her pregnant belly as she sluiced water over his arms. Neo wondered if he would feel his unborn daughter kick; she'd grown considerably in past days, becoming stronger, more alert. For the first time in months, Trinity was hungry and ate for two.
The rest of the crew was just as eager for Trinity to give birth as Neo was, especially Morpheus, who had given himself his highest promotion - that of grandfather. Circuit and Trinity grew closer together; Mole was close with Tank, and their friendship slowly helped Tank fill in the space that Dozer had left behind. They would all stay together, all except...the Oracle.
She had died the instant Trinity touched the bear, as they found out shortly thereafter. And although they mourned her, none of them wept. Her death meant certain life, not just for Neo and Trinity's child, but for them all.
Alive was what Neo felt now, feeling the warmth of the water against his skin and the firmness of Trinity's stomach behind his head.
He wondered what she was thinking, and asked her such.
"What am I thinking?" asked Trinity dreamily. "Nothing. Everything." She paused. "I'm wondering about Zebulon," she said at last. "The man. I learned something from him. I learned that I love you, Neo. And I always have, long before this time, this body. But I learned something else, too. I learned that I am not Raven, and you are not Zebulon. When I shook his hand, that first time I met him, I saw it all. Everything, all of who she was." She sighed, then continued. "We have each other, Neo. But he's lost her. His Raven, she's gone, and he is stuck there, forever, without her."
Neo thought for a moment. "I can change that."
"I was wondering if you'd try. For his sake."
"I have this live, this love. You said it right before. I have the one true thing. You. Our child. I have life, real life."
He flipped around in the pool to face her. "Marry me, Trinity," he asked.
She laughed and brushed his damp hair off his forehead. "Oh, Neo, I already have."
***
Somewhere within the Matrix, Zebulon felt something he hadn't felt in a long time. Satisfied, completed. Real. Like he'd just come home after a too-long vacation. Puzzling. He looked up to see something that made his nonexistent heart nearly stop beating.
She looked bewildered, lost, just a few feet ahead of him on the sidewalk. Then she noticed him, her lips twisting into a wry smile. "What is this, 'Lon? Another one of your pet projects?"
Zebulon smiled. "Yeah." He went to her, put his hand on her shoulder. "Yes, Raven," he nodded. "I guess you could call it that."
FIN