Here is which gives some back ground as to why Edward is a full year behind in school.

CHAPTER 6: The Past

EPOV
August 7, 2010

Bella and I got to know each other really well. Right now we are sitting in our apartment on the couch. I have my arm around her waist, and she has her head on my shoulder. We sit like this most nights for the past few weeks.

"How you feeling, you've been pretty quiet today?"

"Today is my dad's birthday. I'm just thinking about him. When I think of him, I think of how he died and that makes me think of my mom."

Bella sounds really sad and I didn't like Bella this way.

"I am so sorry. I know you still really miss him; what was he like? You know you can tell me."

"He was a great Dad. I love him and I miss him; he and my grandpa are my heroes. I only saw my dad two weeks out of every three months, but they were always the best. My mom, Renee, is not much of a mother. She makes me feel like I was in the way all the time.

"Did you know that Phil was a baseball player?"

"He was?" I ask.

"Yeah, his last name was Dwyer."

"What? Your dad was Phil Dwyer, the same Phil Dwyer who played for the Seattle Mariners?"

"Yeah, the very one," she said sadly.

Holy shit, I did not know this! Phil Dwyer was one of the most sought after baseball players of our time. I remember he died in an accident about ten years ago.

Shit, of course, she said her dad died.

"You see Renee went to a game, she was able to get his autograph for Charlie. She flirted with him and he was nice to her. The next night was another home game, so she searched him out again. She flirted and one thing led to another."

Bella takes a deep breath, turning toward me and continues.

"Anyway, Renee was in love, but Phil was not. Renee began stalking him; she followed him everywhere. She would scream at girls that he was with or talking to. She even taped his phone calls and intercepted notes from other women. He was going to press charges, but dropped them when he found out that she was pregnant with me."

I could see the hurt on her face, as she tells me the rest of the story.

"Renee was still in love with him, and could not get over the fact that he only came to see me. I think that is why she dislikes me so much. Phil showed me so much love and never gave her a second thought. In the beginning, she just ignored me and left me on my own, but when Phil was there she was the loving mother."

I could really see the anguish in her eyes now, and know this is a very painful thing for her to talk about.

"Phil took me to the park and a meadow; it was our meadow. He even tried to teach me how to play baseball, but I was not very good at it. But, I was always his special girl. He made sure Renee had plenty of money for me; none of which I ever saw."

Thinking of how her mother deprives her of things makes me feel angry. I take a deep breath and hold her hand as she continues on with her story.

"Anyway, it was the week after my eighth birthday. Phil could not make it that year; Renee started going on about how he had a new girlfriend. She was ranting and raving about how they would have a baby and that he would not love me anymore. I was standing outside in the backyard; it was pouring rain. I was only in my underwear and she was yelling at me, because I had asked to call him. She was so busy yelling she did not hear the front door, or that someone had come in the house."

I could see that she was embarrassed to be telling me such graphic details of her childhood.

"It was my dad. He was so angry at her, he pulled me inside and told me to go change and pack a bag. I don't know what happened, but on the way back downstairs I saw that my mom was crying. She had a red handprint across her face, and she kept screaming at him that he could not take me."

I can see that the aftermath of the violence she witnessed was still deeply etched in her soul.

"Anyway, he picked me up and put me in the car. While he drove, he told me over and over again that he loves me. He explained to me that he does have a girlfriend, but she was not pregnant. He then told me that he would always take care of me, and that I was going to live with him. He was planning on taking a few months off, to help me get settled. That was the night that he died."

I could see the small tears trail down her cheeks. I reach up and wipe them off and caress her cheek, showing her I was there for her.

"Renee was so much worse to me after that. She kept going on about how I cost her the love of her life. She started hitting me, and did so a lot over the next four years. In that period of time, she managed to break a couple of my ribs, an arm, leg and my ankle."

I want to find this woman and beat her. How could anyone do something so traumatic to this wonderful, beautiful girl?

"She completely lost her grip on reality. She thought I was a demon out to get her. She stopped taking care of herself; she didn't even bathe or eat. She started drinking heavily, and doing illegal drugs. Sometimes, she even forgot that my dad was dead, because she was so out of it. She did not let me go to his funeral. To this day, I have still never been to his grave. She refuses to tell me where it is," Bella sobs out the last part.

I pull her close to me and just hold her for a few minutes.

"Bella, you do not have to go on with this right now."

"Yes I do, it will be better to get it all out now," she says.

I pull her back away from me a little and smile at her, and again wipe away her tears. She smiles lightly at me, and starts to carry on with her story.

"It was grandpa who ended up saving me. He caught her when she was trying to wash the demon out of me. She had a knife to my abdomen when he walked in. She was arrested and sentenced to eight years, but she isn't in prison. She is currently in a psychiatric hospital right now. They think that she was so obsessed with Phil, that she saw me as the other woman. Then he was with me when he died, so she lost it completely. She blames me for the loss of Phil, and thinks he would still be alive if not for me."

It saddens me how much Bella has been through. We all know that Renee abused Bella. Most of us think, or I should say hear rumors. I know I had been told long ago that Renee just left her unattended and did not feed her very often.

"Your dad saw me the first week I was in Forks. He said that I would not grow much more, if at all. He said I would always have weak bones, because of the abuse, lack of food and sun," she says.

Bella starts to laugh at this point. I cock my head to the side, giving her a worrisome look.

"Yeah, I lived in one of the sunniest places, but Renee only let me out to go to school. The rest of the time I had to stay in the house. She sent me to school a year early. I am not sure why she told everyone that I was a year older. She almost had me believing that I was older. I was sent to summer school, too."

I am pretty sure I know why she sent her to school early. She did not want the responsibility of taking care of this lovely girl in front of me. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate Renee right now.

"When I was home I had to stay in my room. I only got to eat when I was at school. That is because one of the lunch ladies saw that I did not eat, and asked me why. I told her I had no money, so she started to pay for my lunch. Renee could not get free lunch for me, because she had such a huge settlement from my father's estate. That money is supposed to be mine, but Renee used it on drinking and drugs. I know my dad loved me; he tried to save me twice and he ended up dying."

"Shit, Bella, I am so sorry for what you've had to go through."

"Edward, it was not your fault, but thank you for listening to me."

"Anytime, Bella," I tell her.

Shit, she shares so much of herself with me, maybe I can share some of myself with her.

"Bella, I'm sorry but I lied to you," I say.

"What do you mean, Edward? When did you lie to me?"

"When you asked me what my fear was. I told you baked beans, but that's not true."

"It's okay, Edward, I kind of figured that out. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I want to, it's just hard. Please just listen to me. It may take me a bit of time to tell you."

She nods at me.

Well, here goes nothing. Hopefully, she will not run from the room screaming.

"My fear is being on my own, I mean, like not having a companion. Going without someone I can trust and love forever. I'm not sure I can find someone who would love me, for just me." I take a deep breath and it feels like a weight has been removed from my shoulders. I now realize, admitting it out loud is half my battle. She remains silent, allowing me the time I need to finish.

"I'm not sure how I can learn to trust that someone will not just want me for my looks." I stop for a minute because she chuckles.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I am teasing. I know that you are a great looking guy, but to hear you admit it is kind of funny."

"Well, it's not just my looks that make me worry. I have money, like a shitload of money. Money attracts users, and I want someone to love me and be with me because they love me, not what I can give them or how I look." I sigh again, and pinch my nose.

She rubs her hand along my back and I feel the true compassion in her touch.

"You know, Bella, it's more than just that. I want unconditional love. I am scared of love, because so far, for me it has always held conditions. I just want that elusive unconditional love. You see, when I was six, at Easter that year, my mom was reading to me before bed. The story she chose was Kevin the Very Old Rabbit by Gordon Dioxide."

I run my hands through my hair, but feel Bella grab my hand. I could sense that she understands this is going to be hard for me to tell.

"As she was reading the story there was a loud banging on the door. My mom quickly went to the window, and she looked frightened when she turned around. She told me to hide in the wall. You see, there was a hidden panel in the closet that led to a secret room."

I drop Bella's hand and get up. I pace back and forth for a few minutes and recollect my thoughts. Sitting back down and again facing Bella, I pick up her hand.

"She said she would meet me in the secret room and to stay quiet. She could not fit through the closet entry, and had to enter through the pantry entrance. I was quiet and left the door open so she could get in and lock it, but she never came."

I squeeze Bella's hand as she runs her other hand across my chest and up my neck to my cheek. Just her small actions allow me to keep going.

"I remember hearing loud noises and my mom crying. I could hear three or maybe four different male voices. I did not recognize any of the voices, except my mother's. I must have been hiding there for a few hours or so, when I heard my dad. He sounded very angry and was yelling, too. I stayed where I was because I was scared. I must have fallen asleep after a while, because I was stiff and sore when I was startled awake."

Again, I start to get fidgety, and Bella soothes me by rubbing her hand across mine.

"I was woken by loud bangs, about six of them. I did not know then what it was, but I do now. It was gunshots. After a few hours of not hearing anything I came out. I found both my parents. They were dead. Whoever was in my house shot them each in the head and heart. I could not call for help, I was too scared. Three days later, maybe more, they are not sure exactly, I was found. I was severally dehydrated, and it took seven months before I spoke to anyone. I only spoke then to tell Alice to shut up," I say with a chuckle.

"Esme and Carlisle kept me home from school, and we moved to Forks. I was only in kindergarden, because my mom kept me home until I turned six. When I started school in Forks, people thought that Alice and I were twins, since we were both in kindergarden. Everyone assumes that I'm a full-blooded Cullen. Anyway, apart from not talking much, I suffered mostly from nightmares. The nightmares stopped by the time I was ten. I thought I was back to being normal. Just after I turned thirteen the nightmares started again; I was very angry." I take another deep breath and run my free hand through my hair again.

"This is embarrassing, but at thirteen, I started pissing the bed from fear of the nightmares. This was the same timeframe of starting high school and meeting Aro, our great and grand principal. I started getting into so much trouble. Let's just say I was not his favorite student. As the year wore on, I became the town bad boy, stealing, drinking, smoking and breaking curfew." I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows at her, trying to lighten the mood.

"I admit that about forty percent of the things they say I did were me. But, I ended up taking the rap for a bunch of shit I did not do. Things turned really bad when I was seventeen. I was drinking nearly every weekend. I was going to parties; Mom and Dad never knew where I was. They tried several times to talk to me, but I just pushed them away and kept them out. I was angry about so many things; I was sick of getting blamed for shit that I did not do. I really acted out and did some damaging things to get more attention. I was the one who took Aro's office and transferred it to the football field. I smashed up his new car, and I must admit I really liked doing that. Those things I did not get caught for, though. As you know, I have a record for actual bodily harm. Nobody from school ever asked if I did it, or why." I laugh out loud, as she shakes her head.

"Edward, I know for a fact that you did get into a fight, but I know that the other guy must have done something big for you to do that."

"What makes you think that? Everyone knows I have a problem with my temper."

"No you don't; you are quick to show your temper, but you don't have a problem."

I immediately start to take offense to her words. "Isabella, I fail to see the difference."

"Well, showing your temper is a normal human process. Acting out because of your temper is another story. You are actually quick tempered, meaning you can quickly set your mind without much thought. Having a problem with your temper would mean that you lose it. If you had a temper problem, you would solve it by going straight to the hitting, smashing or in your mind, justifiable damage for the situation. I have seen you many times going into a bad mood, but not letting it over-take you. Remember when I fell on your new bike last year, knocking it over and it got that scratch on it? You didn't hit me, you didn't even shout at me. You just helped me up and asked if I was okay. Later that day you did not even give me a death glare, or say anything mean to me." She sighs as she holds my face so I'm looking right at her.

"Even when you're telling off the bullies, you're pretty nice. I have only witnessed you hitting one of the bullies a few times. You don't have a problem with your temper. People like Jake, have temper problems."

"I never thought of it like that," I tell her.

"Well, you better start thinking of it like that. Anyway, tell me about that guy you beat up so badly, what did he do?"

"He was hitting his pregnant girlfriend, in the parking lot. He smashed her head into a car, she was bleeding badly. I only wanted to get her away from him, so she could see a doctor. When I tried to get her away from him, he tried to hit me. He was yelling things at the girl, calling her a slut. I lost it, you see, that is my trigger. Seeing someone getting beaten and called names, makes me so angry. One of the only reasons I walk away in school from fights, is I don't want to disappoint my parents. I get angry and want to beat up the bully, but then I see the faces of my mom and dad."

I take a deep breath and hold both Bella's hands. "Sadly, after I knocked him out and took the girl to the hospital, the next day I was arrested. I was charged with bodily harm, my dad paid the guy off to get the charges dropped. My dad lost faith in me that day, he never believed my story. He took the word of strangers over me. I don't get why the girl lied for that guy."

I sit there making circles on the back of her hands with my thumbs.

"I got sent to therapy. I must admit it did help me some. I stopped drinking and smoking as much. Even after I calmed down, I still got the blame for shit though. It is like a downhill process, and my word is never good enough or trustworthy. At one point I was being brought home by the police once a week or the police were coming to look for me. That's why my dad thought that the police were there for me the day they came home with Alice," I say with a chuckle, thinking of Alice being in trouble.

"Anyway, I get blamed for shit and they're on my back all the time, twenty-four hours a day, and seven days a week. I just want to get away, so I started going to Seattle. I just have more space, and that just makes everyone get off my back. They still ask what I am doing, and where I am going. I have my own apartment in Seattle; I just hang there. I spend every other weekend there and all school holidays. I also work at one of my real father's companies. I have been working my way up from the bottom. There is only one person at the company who knows I own it. I may be their boss, but I wouldn't call me a boss yet. I haven't told anyone in my family about this, Dad never liked my father. Dad tried to get me to sell all of my father's companies when I was fifteen, but I said no. I know I should tell them, but I can't. I would love to hear my dad say he's proud of me." I shrug my shoulders and Bella pulls me close and hugs me.

"I am proud of you," she says.

I smile at her, as I pick her hands back up.

"I love my dad, he is a great man, but I fuck up so much and he's lost his trust in me. I hate the way he looks at me now; you can see the disappointment. I got myself the bad boy reputation, which I really don't want."

"You don't have a bad reputation with everyone," Bella smiles and says.

"My therapist, Peter, thinks that all of this is adding to my fear of being on my own. He says because I see myself as 'unlovable,' I jump from relationship to relationship. I freak when females start to ask me things about me. I pull back and move on to the next female." I grimace as I say this, thinking of when I told her my sordid past with women.

"Peter thinks this is also why I choose older women. Older women tend to date for a while before moving to that girlfriend-boyfriend stage, where high school girls tend to be there after the first date. He told me after I broke up with the last female I dated, to not date again for at least eight months. Peter said instead, I was to try being more open with family and friends."

"How is that going?" Bella asks me.

"Well, it's been about sixteen weeks; so halfway there and you are the only person I have been able to open up to. Apart from Peter, that is," I chuckle.

"Peter Smith?" Bella asked

"Yes, how did you know?" I asked her.

"I see him on Mondays, and since I've been here, I've been calling him every other Monday."

"What time on Mondays do you go to see him?"

"Five," she says.

"Really? Shit, I'm in at a quarter to four. I must just miss seeing you there then. Wow… that is strange," I say.

"Why don't you talk to your family about this?"

"It upsets them, hell, they didn't even know about the whole bed wetting when I was thirteen. Incidentally, I don't do that anymore," I say as I laugh.

"I'm not really sure why I don't talk to them. I just don't want to get too close. The pain of loss is a hard thing to bear. I already feel like a fuck up for failing them by getting into trouble. Just like I feel like a fuck up for failing my parents. If only I would have called for help, instead of just sitting there waiting for help to come to me."

I stop to catch my breath; I have tears running down my face. I hate showing so much emotion. Shit, I couldn't believe I was crying. Fuck, I need to get away. Bella did not need to see an almost fully grown man crying about his fucked up life.

Before I could get up, Bella moves herself onto my lap, and has her arms around my neck.

"Edward, you were six. There was nothing you could do. You did the best thing you could have. Your mom died knowing she saved her son. Just like my dad died knowing that he saved me."

She never let go of me as she spoke. She just hugs me tighter and tighter.

"I spent a year thinking, if I had just been able to swim, or if I never asked Renee to call him, but you know what? I can't change what happened. I have to move on and forgive myself, so that I can live my life. I'm living my life for him, and for me." She pulls back enough to look me in the eyes.

"You have to forgive yourself. You have to live for yourself and your parents; it's what they wanted. You're a good person. You've made a few mistakes, so what? On the grand scale of things you're a pretty decent guy. Not very many people stick up for others, especially after they get in trouble the first few times they try to help. Most people would stop helping, but you don't."

She kisses my cheek and hugs me to her again.

"You working in your father's company, and starting at the bottom, is something most people wouldn't do. Most would want to start at the top and boss everyone around. You show common sense, and that you care for other people. I'll always be your friend and will always be there for you if you need me. Shit, I'll stand by you no matter what, you're my best friend. You'll always have a place in my life," Bella tells me.

"Thank you, you're my best friend, too," I say as I hug her back.

She kisses the top of my head. We stay in the same position for most of the night. We didn't really talk anymore, just hugged each other. Well, after I knew she fell asleep, I lift her and carry her to her bed. Lying her on the bed, I cover her up and kiss her cheek.

"Thanks, Bella, for being here for me," I whisper into her ear and kiss her once more.

I was glad that I talked to Bella and told her everything about me. She knows more than anyone, except Peter. Shit, I couldn't believe that Peter was right about this, now I owe him fifty bucks. Peter said I would find someone I could trust enough to open up to. I guess that went to show you to never bet against a therapist. Maybe it just worked because it was Bella. I don't know why but I trust her with my life.

I fall asleep and I hear those voices again, but this time it wasn't my mom they are after, it's Bella. I was back in the hidden room, but I can't get out. Bella screams for help. I can hear them laughing and hitting her, but no matter how much I try or how far I run I end up in the safe room. I need to help her—save her—why can't I find her. Suddenly, I feel someone touch me, someone whispering to me. I want to move away from it, but my body won't respond. I can feel the person hugging me, whispering again and again.

"You're safe, you're okay."

As I open my eyes, there's Bella beside my bed holding me.

"Hey there, are you okay?" she asks with a weak smile.

"Sorry if I woke you," I tell her, while nodding.

"Nope, I had my own nightmare. I was up getting a glass of water, and I thought I'd see if you were awake." She looks down and blushes.

"I just want to sit for a bit. Maybe get one of your hugs; they always make me feel better. You know, just something to get the bad thoughts out of my head. But, when I came in I saw that you, too, were having a nightmare. I thought I could try holding you until you woke up, or it stopped. It always works when grandpa does it for me. Do you want me to go now?"

No! I needed her to stay

"What? No, you stay here. Lie with me. Hopefully, we can help each other with nightmares. No more talking about bad stuff before bed." I smile as I hug her to me.

After hugging her for several minutes, Bella rolls over and has her back to me. I cuddle up and spoon against her back and cover her side with my arm. Sharing a pillow with Bella, smelling her hair, relaxes me quickly. This is the first time in my life I feel completely safe. Cuddling up to her, I know she feels safe, too. As our breathing becomes more rhythmic, I think about how nice this really is and we fall asleep.

A/N: So Edward was pulled out of school in kindergarden, and missed a full year of school. When he went to school, he was virtually starting over and since he became a Cullen, everyone has always assumed he was Alice's twin. Hope this helps everyone understand how he is so far behind in schooling. Now, what do you think about the past you've learned about both Bella and Edward?