Author's Chapter Notes:

Hey gang!

I want to thank everyone who reviewed after the last chapter. It's been a rough week for both me and Edward. I knew Anna was going to be a surprise, although some of you guessed what would happen, but I never anticipated the reaction I got. Reviews started pouring in while I was at work and, not having the opportunity to really look at them, I was super bummed about all the negativity.

Then, I got home and read each of them individually. What I mistook as negativity, was actually well-thought out, passionate, and very constructive criticism. I was touched by the response it evoked in all of you.

Maybe I'm dense, but I hadn't planned for anyone to take this as anything more than a cheesy rom-com (as I told several of you in my replies). Knowing how many of you felt the brunt of the blow just as hard, if not harder, than Bella was incredibly humbling. It made me take a step back and realize that I need to start being more mindful of my writing.

I need you to know that I'm not writing this story for the sake of getting a rise, and I don't enjoy fucking with peoples emotions. Several readers have dropped this story, and that really sucks, but it's a personal choice that I respect. Others told me they actually cried over it, and it made me feel like a big mean bully. Again, it was not my intention. This story is not about putting shock out there for shock's sake.

I was really excited about chapter 5, but after what happened, I waivered about whether or not to continue. If no one likes Edward and everyone hates me for making him human, where's the fun in that for anyone? Alas, I will not give up on this journey. I have a plan. I made a decision six weeks ago to start posting this story and, very much like Bella, I rarely turn back on a decision after it's been made.

For those of you who chose to continue with this story, I hope to make you glad you did. I love, respect, and appreciate every single review I've received so far. As I always say: good, bad, or ugly, I want it all, and I'll say it again and again. Thank you for making me realize the power I have as a writer, and I promise to never abuse it.

Okay! I'm sure you're all ready to know what happened after the initial shock wore off for our poor Bella. Let's go back to that night and find out.

The song for this chapter is a good one. It's called "Everything's Ruined" by Fountains of Wayne. Here's the link: watch?v=bDo7dE3wt5k

**I'd like to give a special shout out to A Different Forest for recommending The Space Between. I've gained so many new readers in the past week because of it, and I thank you, whoever you are, for thinking highly enough of this story to put the word out!**

I do not own Twilight.

Onward, we go.

Chapter Six

I park my aging Ford outside Alice's house and hurry through the pouring rain, no longer worried about what it's doing to my appearance. Knocking on her door, I wipe a hand over my face, clearing away the mixture of tears and rainwater. I drove all the way here in a fit of sobs, and between my emotions and the rain, it's a wonder I made it alive. Come on, come on, come on, I plead silently. I'm soaked, my teeth are chattering, I have no idea what happened to my sweater, and there's a massive, gaping wound where my heart used to be.

Alice opens the door just wide enough for the chain to catch and quickly shuts it again. I can hear her cry of surprise on the other side as she slides the lock open. The door flies open, and Alice pulls me into her house and into her arms. "My God, Bella! What happened to you? What's wrong?"

I pull away from her, and my hands shake as I run them through my dripping wet hair. Fresh tears spill down my cheeks as I blubber a response. "Everything! Everything is wrong. I swear to God, there is something fundamentally wrong with me. I show up to the restaurant, expecting-I don't know what I was expecting-and then she just comes out of nowhere, and I-"

Alice grabs my shoulders and gives me a hard shake. "Bella, stop! You're freaking out. Calm down and tell me what happened."

I take deep breaths and nod my head. Alice is not above smacking the crap out of me if I don't get ahold of myself. Just as I'm about to fill her in on every detail of my misery, a throat clears behind me, and I realize I've interrupted Alice's reunion with Big Shiny. "Oh, shit, Alice. I totally forgot," I tell her with a loud sniffle. Glancing over my shoulder, my eyes widen in surprise. What the hell did I just walk in on? It's not Big Shiny behind me ... it's Edward's friend Jasper.

I look at Alice, but she ignores the giant question mark above my head and opens the foyer closet. Pulling out a long, black trench coat, she shoves it at Jasper's chest. "I'm sorry, Jaz, but you have to go. I'll give you a call tomorrow or something." The man doesn't even have the chance to speak before she shoves him out the door and closes it behind him. I open my mouth and point at the door, but Alice cuts me off at the pass. "Never mind that. Now, tell me what the hell is going on."

I rub my fingers under my eyes and they come away stained with mascara. At once, I deflate and my heart shrivels at the tragedy of the evening, thus far.

"Come on," Alice says softly and takes my hand, leading me into her living room. She takes a seat on the couch, but I can't sit still and walk a slow pace from the window to the wall.

"It's over, Alice," I inform her, shaking my head as I look into her big blue eyes.

"What do you mean? What did Edward say?" she asks. I can't speak, and another wave of tears crumples my face. Alice balls her hands into tiny fists of fury. "I knew it. I knew he was too good to be true. You should never trust someone that good looking. Tell me what he did to you, Bella, because I will kill a motherfucker." Alice has always been protective of me.

I sigh, taking a seat across the room on the edge of her suede chaise lounge. "He didn't do anything to me." I tilt my head back to try to keep the tears from falling, but it's no use, and they fall anyway. I drop my head into my hands and moan my response like a wounded animal. "Edward is getting married. He brought me to dinner tonight to meet his fiancée."

Alice's mouth is frozen in a silent 'o'of confused horror as she processes the information I've just laid before her. "He's engaged? But ... but he's your penguin," she murmurs.

"He's not my goddamn penguin, Alice. He's someone else's."

In a flash, Alice is off the couch and pacing an angry ditch into the carpet. "Edward's engaged, and he never told you about it before tonight? What kind of shit is that? Who does that?"

"Alice," I say, massaging my aching head, but she doesn't hear me.

"You guys kept in contact all these years. You're supposed to be best friends. And what about the mix tape he gave you? That son-of-a-bitch has been sending you mixed signals since he got here!"

"Alice, please!" I yell as my tears turn to anger-not at her, but at myself.

She turns to me and throws her hands in the air. "What? Aren't you thinking about any of this right now? Because you should be."

"Of course I am. All of it-it's all I can think about."

"Then, what?"

"He's not the asshole here, okay? It's me! I'm the moron who read way too much into things. Yeah, I'm confused as hell. He's been with Anna for over a year now and never told me. I have no idea why he didn't say anything before tonight, and believe me, I will talk to him about it, but we've been living separate lives for over a decade. Can I really be mad at the guy for falling in love because it puts a kink in my psychotic delusions?"

Alice has stopped pacing and is now picking the paint off the mantle above her fireplace. She sees my point, although neither of us likes it, and gives a bitter huff. "Anna," she mutters with a sneer.

I groan and scoot myself back until my head is resting against the plush black leather. Blindly, I reach behind me and yank the cashmere blanket off the back of the chair, pulling it over my head. She hasn't even heard the worst part yet, and I know I'm in for it. As much as I don't want to, it's better to rip that Band-Aid off in one fell swoop.

"There's more," I say through the soft material, and Alice is intrigued at once. She crosses the room and is perched on the end of the chaise before I can pull the blanket off my head. Her listening ears are on, and her eyes glisten with curiosity. I've always had a weak spine-something Alice has been trying to correct for years-and it's hard to look her in the eye as I spill my shame. "The wedding is a little over a month away and Anna has to be out of town for a couple weeks for various reasons. I ... sort of agreed to help Edward finish planning the wedding." Alice rubs her temples as she mutters something under her breath, and I try to soften the blow for both of us. "It's just a few final details, and only on the days she won't be in town."

"Oh, Bella," Alice says, sighing and tsking her disappointment. It reminds me of my mother. "This is so typically you: too nice to say no, even if it's going to kill you." She shakes her head with a shrug. "What are you doing to yourself, here?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I said yes. Jesus, after the initial shock, I wanted to be angry, too, but ... I just can't be. I'm disappointed and embarrassed at myself, but as much as I try, I can't justify being mad at Edward. People go off to college, grow up, and get married every single day. Aside from springing it on me the way he did, he's done nothing wrong." I close my eyes and think of the way he'd plead for my help, completely unaware of my crazy infatuation with him. "He merely asked an old friend for help; there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to it, but you weren't there, Alice. He just looked so lost at the prospect of doing everything alone. Fuck, I don't know. So, I'm a masochist-what else is new, right?"

Alice finally thaws and mends the small distance between us, wrapping her twig-like arms around me. "I'm so sorry, B," she says, and I mutter my love for her against her shoulder. Alice pulls away with one more long-winded sigh. "I just know how excited you were, and it physically hurts me to see you this upset. I could kill Edward Cullen right now. I swear, if I've said it once, I've said it a million times. You're too nice for your own good."

I think about the long month ahead of me, and my entire frame sags. "What am I going to do?"

Alice opens her mouth but nothing comes out. This is not good. Usually, when I pose that particular question, she whips out her never-ending laundry list of things I need to do, or should be doing differently. Her silence only tells me what I already know: I am fucked.

Drawing my legs up, I rest my chin on my knees and peruse my options. There aren't many. Really, there's nothing to do but keep my word. "I guess I already know what I'm going to do. I'm going to help Edward plan his wedding. It might kill me, but I already gave my answer."

Alice shakes her head again with a single, dry laugh. "It's The Imp of the Perverse," she muses aloud. "This is so tragically unnecessary. Even I can't talk you through this one. I've never handled a situation like this; where do I even begin?" She chews her thumbnail for the briefest of moments before bouncing off the chair. "Tea. I'll make us some tea."

I follow her into the kitchen, taking the blanket with me. I'm not quite dry yet, and my all-around dampness has chilled me to the bone. Taking a seat at her granite breakfast counter, I watch as Alice fills the kettle and turns on the stove. Once that's done, she opens the top door of the large, paneled refrigerator and pulls out a brand new half-gallon of Baskin-Robbins Pistachio Almond, our designated go-to for all of life's problems. She peels off the lid, hands me a spoon, and hops onto the stool next to mine.

We're both nursing a heaping spoonful of ice cream when Alice breaks the silence. "So, what's she like-this Anna? Honestly, what kind of woman leaves town for weeks on end the month before her own wedding?"

"It's weird, I know. But her grandma is sick or something, and she wants to pay her a visit."

Alice hums, not satisfied with my answer. "Is she at least nice? I mean, I guess she'd have to be to leave her man alone with a woman she barely knows to plan her wedding."

An uncertain chuckle escapes me at the memory of Anna's attitude, and Alice raises her eyebrows with interest. I shrug. "I don't know if I'd use the word nice to describe her. She's pretty intimidating, actually."

"Is she pretty?" Alice asks, and I take a few seconds to think about Anna in all her physical splendor. How does one put perfection into words?

"She's stunning. It isn't hard to see why Edward is taken with her. She's very cultured, very well-traveled. She's a painter and travels all over Europe for inspiration; she even studied at Oxford. Her family is insanely wealthy. In fact, she puts the Van Cleve in VC Petroleum. She's rich, talented, and beautiful beyond belief. She's everything a guy could hope for, and so much more than I'll ever be."

"Do not say things like that, Bella," Alice chastises around a mouthful of frozen dessert. "None of those things mean dick if she's not a nice person." From across the kitchen, the kettle blows its whistle, and she goes to work making us each a cup of Jasmine tea. Alice sets a steaming mug in front of me and reclaims her seat. "Don't worry. I'm sure there's a bright side here; you just have to look for it. Edward's stock just plummeted in my book, but if you're hell-bent on being a part of this, then I guess the only good thing is that he's in your life again. You have your old buddy back." She mulls on her own words and shoves another bite of ice cream into her mouth. "Pretty shitty silver-lining, if you ask me."

"Yeah," I agree with half a heart. I've stopped eating and lose myself in drawing designs with my spoon on the soft, green surface. I do hope Edward is happy, but the instinct that he isn't pokes at my consciousness. My expression must mirror my thoughts, and Alice notices.

"What's that face, Isabella Marie?"

"Nothing, I just ... I don't think Anna's exactly happy about the idea of me. I don't think she feels threatened or anything, but I'm pretty sure she could see right through me," I tell her, thinking of her few but pointed outbursts, her overt stakes of claim, and the looks she'd tossed my way all throughout dinner.

Alice lays her teabag on the counter and takes a thoughtful sip. "If that's the case, then why would she ask you to be a part of her wedding? It's all so fucked up; I guess I just don't understand."

"Honestly, I don't either, but I got the hairiest vibe from her all night long. I felt like everything she said to me was a direct challenge. It even made Edward uncomfortable, though he never really acknowledged it."

"This whole thing is insane-Edward not telling you about his engagement, you volunteering your services even though you don't know the first thing about weddings. Why don't they just hire a planner; obviously, they can afford it?" Alice asks.

"I guess it's going to be a pretty small wedding, and she said Edward didn't want to go that route."

"You're right, you know. You really are a masochist. You exploit your own emotions and derive a sick pleasure from doing it. You're a total bitch but only to yourself. If Edward could see the way you look right now, if he really knew what this is doing to you, I bet he'd call the whole wedding-planner thing off."

Maybe she's right. I've been living too long on the overly-romanticized memory of a single kiss that happened over a decade ago. I've fed it, nurtured it for so many years, bending and shaping it until it meant something to me that it was never supposed to mean. I've been missing Edward for so long that I'll do anything to keep him close now that he's back; even if that means helping him prepare to pledge his life to someone else.

Regardless, there's a part of my brain that can't ignore what I know I felt. There's a reason Edward chose not to tell me about Anna, and the sickest part of my mind won't rest until I know what it is. Fuck, I'm tired.

There's so much to think about, so much I need to analyze tonight when I'm alone. But for now, I just need to stop talking about it. "Speaking of disturbingpleasures, don't think you're off the hook. Just what the hell was going on when I got here? Where's Big Shiny?" I ask, officially closing the subject of Edward.

Alice's jaw drops and indignity scrunches her face. I smile at her display and shove more ice cream into my mouth. She rolls her eyes and puts her mug down. "His name is Logan, and we broke up. He found out he has to be in Brussels for the next three months, and we just aren't close enough to try anything long distance. Don't give me shit, Bella. I'm heartbroken over it."

I can't hold back my snort. "Yes, clearly. And I guess Jasper just came by to shoot the breeze? Hmm, Alice? Did you have a jar that needed opening? Perhaps, a light bulb that needed screwing?"

"All right, I like him. Shit," she snaps, and I laugh. Alice is such a sore loser, and it can be pretty fun to watch.

"Didn't we just spend the last two days laughing over his utter buffoonery? What the hell did I miss?" I go in for another scoop of ice cream, but she snatches the carton away and slaps the lid on, sending me over the edge again.

"You've had enough."

"Oh, I'm just giving you shit," I tell her through the last of my laughter. "Tell me about him. I'm dying to know what he did to redeemed himself."

Alice eyes me skeptically, and I do my best to wipe the smile from my face. When she decides I'm no longer laughing at her, a girlish smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "He's really ... sweet. At first he was a total skeeve-well, you saw-but once I told him to either lose the act or get lost, he started being himself, and ... I didn't hate it."

I pull my legs up to sit Indian-style on the stool and wrap the blanket around me like a cocoon. "When did all this happen? You haven't even mentioned it."

"When we were at Dimetriou's, sitting at the bar. I didn't say anything because you were so excited about ... you know. I'm always boring you with the details of my love life, and I didn't want to rain on your parade."

"That's sweet, Alice. But my parade has been put on permanent rain delay, so tell me everything."

"Well, when we first sat down at the bar, he was really laying it on thick. I couldn't take it anymore and called him out on it. I asked him why he thought he needed to be like that to get attention. I guess it took him by surprise, and once he realized I wasn't impressed, he let his guard down."

"Wow, Alice the snake charmer."

Alice smiled, staring into her mug. "At heart, he's just a good guy who's been burned. He didn't really go into things, but it's easy to see he's got some scars. All that Mr. Hot Shot mumbo jumbo is just his way of overcompensating for his vulnerability. And he's really quite handsome, once you see past the jerky façade-lightly tanned skin, baby blue eyes, a great body ..." She finally looks up, and huffs at my large, knowing grin. "What?"

"You're smitten."

"Shut up."

"You are a smitten kitten," I tease.

"Quit it!"

"Me-ow."

"You're hilarious. Yes, I like him; now stop being a whore," she says, trying to contain her smile.

"Impossible. That's like asking the Pope to stop being a Catholic," I say, and we both get caught up in a fit of snorts and giggles.

After a moment of silence, I lean over and nudge her with my shoulder. "I love you. Thank you for making me feel better. I didn't think it was possible after tonight."

She sighs. "I love you more, but I'm still against this. I'm sorry, but nothing good can come of this. Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

I take a deep breath and look at her with a weak smile. "I will be," I tell her, and I really want to believe it's true. I have no idea what the next several weeks will bring, and I'm not looking forward to the conversation Edward and I need to have before this thing goes any further. I'll need a moment to decompress before I can even think about that part, but with a new perspective on my old friend, I'm sure I'll be able to handle whatever comes my way.

Alice takes the lid back off the ice cream and slides the carton in front of me. We both dig in, and I hold my spoon up in a toast to my self-flagellation. "Bring on the hideous taffeta gowns, Baby's Breath, and cheap champagne; it's time to plan a wedding."

"I'm not toasting that," Alice replies, shoving the spoon into her mouth.

"I didn't think you would," I say, doing the same.

Chapter End Notes:

Okay, so Bella's a self-acknowledged masochist. The Imp of the Perverse is an interesting concept which a lot of us can relate to. It's also a short story written by Edgar Allan Poe that I highly recommend.

I really want to thank my betas, Alice's White Rabbit and devilsgenie. They are both so encouraging and have an such incredible faith in me. I love them dearly. Discordia is an excellent pre-reader, and I thank her for her services.

Now that you've read the chapter and listened to the song (I hope), please leave me a review and tell me what you're thinking. Good, bad, or hideous.

Thanks guys! I'll see you all next week.

XOXO,

A