Disclaimer: Any and all Glee characters mentioned within this fiction are owned by Ryan Murphy and the people at FOX and I lay no claim to them. Oh yeah they're also owned by themselves, as actors. Go figure that one. This is purely a fictional piece of writing, and should be treated as such.

Summary:Tragedy strikes for one of the members of New Directions, while leaving another member questioning everything he once knew to be true about himself and the people around him.

Two Weeks Prior

"Alright man, I got Beiste to let me out of practice early. Met you here like you asked, so you wanna tell me what's so important?"

I had put some serious thought into what I was about to do. In fact I had been up the entire night before going over it, still completely unsure if it was the right thing to do but seeing no other alternative. If I dealt with this alone any longer then I had been, I might seriously lose my mind.

Texting Sam earlier in the day, asking him to meet me in the empty choir room because I needed to talk was something I had never done before but I was otherwise at a loss. I needed to get this out, and with the only other person on the planet besides Kurt that I knew I could trust completely with it.

"Somethings wrong with me Sam."

"Dude are you sick? Because if you are I need to stay away from you. We've got a big game coming up in a couple days and I have to be in top shape for it."

"Not that kind of wrong Sam. Like personally wrong."

I knew I was confusing him. Everyone always looked at Sam, with his blonde hair, blue eyes and below average grades and saw just another dumb jock. I knew him differently. I knew him to be smart. Smarter then most people ever gave him credit for. With as confused as I was feeling though, I could have confused a scholar with the amount of beating around the bush I was doing.

"I'm lost man. What exactly's wrong with you?"

"I'm conflicted. I'm feeling things I shouldn't be feeling for someone. I can't get them out of my head and ever since they came back to McKinley, I've been spending a lot of time with them and actually finding myself wanting more."

I studied Sam as I spoke. I was hoping he would be able to read between the lines and realize who I was talking about but judging by the look on his face, he was just as confused as when I started.

"I know you like me Blaine. We've been over that already and I told you, I'm cool with it. I mean I don't feel the same but it doesn't mean I'm going to tell you how you should feel."

Well of all of the responses I had been expecting, that hadn't been one of them.

"Sam buddy. It's not about you."

"Oh." he paused for a minute and then spoke again. "Then who is it about? Did you meet a new guy?"

"Something like that."

"Look man, I love you like a brother but you aren't making any sense and if you want my help, I kinda need to know what the heck is going on so I can actually help. So why don't you just lay it on me and stop being so evasive."

He had a point. I knew I was doing it. I also knew why I was doing it. I wasn't ready for the reaction. With as hard as it is for me to deal with on my own, I can't even begin to imagine how someone on the outside who only knew me as one kind of person would deal.

I had to tell him the entire truth though, otherwise like he said, he'd never be able to do what I needed him too.

"It's about Ryder's sister."

"Cheryl? What about her?"

"I like her."

"Don't we all? Look if I wasn't with Brittany and she looked at least half interested, I'd totally hit that."

Maybe this wasn't the best idea after all Blaine.

"No I mean I think I really like her. It's tearing me up inside. I've spent my entire life being one way and this happening, its turning everything upside down. The time I spend with her leads me into wanting to spend even more time with her. To learn everything I can about her. To get closer to her, in every single way you can imagine. I just don't know what the hell to do with everything I'm feeling."

"Wow."

"We worked on the assignment last week, which lead to coffee at The Lima Bean, and nights on the phone before bed every night since. I know it sounds stupid but even hanging up at night is hard for me. I don't have any one else that I can bring this too that will understand my being conflicted this way Sam."

"Does Ryder know?"

"I have no idea how much or how little Ryder knows. I don't even know if she feels the same about me for crying out loud. All I know is that I like her, and I shouldn't like her, at least not the way I believe I do."

When Sam was deep in thought he had a habit of running his fingers through his hair, constantly pushing it to the background and away from his face. He was doing this now, in spades. Like he was struggling with what to tell me to really do. How to help me.

"Dude, you're gay."

"Now you see my problem."

"You have been through this before though man. This isn't the first time. So even though I know that you think you're gay, maybe you need to start accepting the fact that you aren't. Like the people that love you; really love you, will love you either way. You assumed before that you were gay because of where the majority of your attractions took you to, but up until Kurt you hadn't even had a real boyfriend and no real experience with the female persuasion because of the attraction to guys. So you never found the real you. Maybe this, whatever it is with Cheryl is trying to show you who you really are."

Everything he was saying was right. It was all of the things I had pushing down for the last week since she showed up at McKinley, not really wanting to deal with. I had been so sure of who I was, that I wasn't ready to open myself to the possibility that maybe, I really hadn't met the real me yet. That I was still discovering him.

"You're right."

Sam smiled bright, one of the very things I used to find so breathtaking about him. It was strange but as he smiled that way now, I didn't even give it a second thought except to realize it wasn't affecting me in the same way anymore.

"I know I am." he paused before continuing. "Seriously though man, you know what you need to do? You need to figure out what exactly it is you want and who you really are. You need to decide and accept that decision and then you need to talk to Cheryl because if you do like this girl, you can't move forward until you know exactly where she stands."

He was utterly and completely right about everything. There was only one problem. Was I really ready to take stock of myself and possibly be a new person? Or was the safety of the way my life was now, all I could actually take?