:D?

Enjoy;

Chapter Five

"He's not as bad as you think he is, ya know? I mean sure, he's kinda quiet but he's not completely silent. Maybe his idea of humor is a little off and he doesn't eat anything with a face on it. But come on, everyone has their little quirks. The thing that matters most is how he makes me feel, right?

I know he cares about my well being, I can tell him almost anything, his eyes are like mirrors into what he really feels, sometimes his quiet nature is enchanting and he's incredibly hot. And, I must add, he tolerates my family! How crazy is that? I mean Morelli did too but that's another story. I'm not sure if it's fair to compare the two guys. They're alike in so many ways but completely different in others. It's like trying to compare cake to cookies. Some days I prefer a nice, relaxing, chewy, uncomplicated cookie and other times; I'd like to dig into the cake's layers and find out just how sweet it is."

I looked down at my unresponsive listener who happened to be licking itself at the moment.

"Maybe I'm thinking too hard? Maybe I just need to dive in that water and go for it. I've been a coward all my life, you see so I never did what I wanted. I'm tired of being afraid. I think I might actually go for it. I think I might actually try and start a real relationship with my Batman........the thing is, he doesn't seem like he wants a real relationship. Sure, he's helping me lie to my family and friends because I'm a crazy person who gets herself into drastic situations that could be avoided if I just learned to shut my mouth but I'm worried that he's helping for all the wrong reasons. And what would that make him? A jackass? A sex addict? A man?"

Reese opened her mouth and let out an inaudible yawn.

"By the way," I said, crouching down to wipe up the last drops of 'debris' the cat had squirted out. "You're not making a very good impression on him. Crapping on his floor won't make him love you, ya know. Hacking up a fur bar won't either for that matter." I threw the soiled towels in the trash and took off the yellow gloves I had donned.

Reese looked up at me with green, innocent eyes and I sighed. I was losing my marbles. I was asking for love advice from a cat.

I heard footsteps and turned to see Ranger walk into the kitchen. He took one look at Reese and said, "I'm not sure if that thing is going to be able to stay."

I paled. "Why not?"

"It shit on my floor."

"I cleaned it up you big baby." I picked up Reese and held her up so our faces were adjacent. I made big, pleading eyes and Reese caught on and did the same. She even managed to get out an adorable 'Meow'. "You can't throw this out can you?"

Ranger glanced down at his feet and I saw his mouth move faintly. Was he counting? Until what? Until he shot us? "Doesn't it belong to someone?"

"I'm pretty sure its owner is in jail. I don't think he'll miss it." I sat Reese down and she curled up into a ball. "Just give her another chance. I promise she won't crap anymore."

His eyebrows rose slightly.

"Well, I promise she won't crap on the floor anymore. We can buy a kitty litter."

"You're starting to sound like Tank. When did we become pet owners?"

"If I can take care of a hamster than I can take care of a cat."

"Babe, those are two completely different animals. You can't compare them. A hamster is satisfied with running on a wheel and eating nuggets. Cats want the world. They want food, comfort, company, love, baths, shots. Did I mention food?"

"What? Are you too much of a cheapskate to dish out a few dollars for her?" I knew my question was uncalled for. I mean, Ranger already dishes out half a million for me from the blown up cars, guns, clothes. I was being ungrateful I know but I really wanted to keep Reese. She had grown on me in under twenty minutes. And that was a big deal considering that half of those minutes involved me wiping her mess off the floor.

He shook his head again. I hope I wasn't giving him a headache. I hope he didn't kick me out. "Who's going to watch it when we're not here?"

"She can watch herself."

"If she chews up my couch I'll shoot her."

I smiled because I knew he had relented. I could keep her! Yay! "You wouldn't shoot a thing that cute would you?"

He gave me a full on smile and I gulped. I had the strangest thought that his smile was a yes and that we weren't just speaking about Reese anymore.

**************

The first thing I noticed when I walked into my parent's kitchen was the strange lady sitting at the table across from my Grandma Mazur. The second thing I noticed was that the stacks of bridal magazines had been placed on the floor. I exchanged a look with Ranger and then turned to my mom who was finishing up with dinner. It smelled oh so fantastic and delicious. I hope my mouth didn't water in front of Ranger. How embarrassing would that be?

"Stephanie!" My mom exclaimed, walking over to hug me. I blinked in surprise. Her step was a little swayed. I glanced at my Grandma.

"She got into the wine cabinet again." The old woman told me.

"Carlos!" My mom wobbled over to him and gave him a hug too. It looked weird because her arms barely reached across his chest. I saw his mouth twitch. Ranger smile. She stumbled backwards to give us both a glance over. She grabbed my hand to examine the ring, dropped my hand and then danced back over to the stove. "Isn't it just a wonderful day!?"

"How much did she drink?" I asked.

"The cabinet's empty." My Grandma replied. I sighed. What the hell had gotten her so worked up to drink that much?

The random lady I didn't know finally spoke up. "You must be Ricardo and Stephanie." She smiled patronizingly. "Hello, I'm Doctor Karen Yule. I'm a psychic."

I blinked and the realization hit me: Karen was the reason for my mother's blatant drinking. I turned to stare at my Grandma again and she said, "I called her. To see if you two are compatible. Thought it'd be a pip." She gave Ranger a once over and I wondered if the old lady hoped we weren't so she could take a stab at him.

I grabbed Ranger's hand when I saw him step back and pulled him forward, forcing a smile. "If you leave now, I'll throw out all your shower gel." I strained in a whisper.

He looked to be considering his options. His mouth twitched. "This is going to be ugly."

"Why do you think that?"

"Psychics don't like me. They say I have a bad aura."

I could see why they thought that. Everything about Ranger screamed bad. From his dark locks to his combat boots. I tugged the man over and we took a seat across from Karen and Grandma Mazur. I could hear my mom giggling to herself as she worked with the food. I didn't think a drunken person should be in charge of cooking so I sent my Grandma over to help her. The old woman looked disappointed but trudged over there anyway.

That left Ranger and I with Karen. Up close the woman looked about forty years old. Her skin was a bit wrinkled, her hair was long and thin, she was wearing dark glasses and some sort of shawl. At first glance, she looked like a fatter version of Marcia Brady.

I stifled a sigh when she began laying out cards on the table. I didn't believe in psychics. I didn't like the idea of someone telling me who was better for me. I mean, seriously, I could barely determine that so there was no way I'd trust a total stranger. But I figured if I humored her, she'd go away faster, my Grandma would be satisfied and my mom would quick taking shots. She must have done something to get my mom worked up and I didn't feel like going through whatever that was.

"Ohhh." Karen closed her eyes and leaned her head back. I saw Ranger shake his head. He obviously thought this was bullshit too. She snapped them back open and pointed at him with a grim expression. "You are not as dark as you like others to think. You pretend to be because you like how it makes you feel. You try very hard to keep up the indifferent facade. To make sure that no one knows how much things really bother you. You've learned that emotions only cause you pain and so they have no use in your life. But you like the idea of others considering you as the strong one. They see you as a protector, as the rock they need. Some might even think of you as a superhero."

Wow. That was....weird and sounded fairly accurate. Was that really true? I turned my baffled eyes on Ranger but he was silent and expressionless.

"And you," She turned to look at me and I gulped. Oh jeez. "You...you are complicated. Very complicated. You try very hard to do what you think is right but always end up with the short end of the stick. The reasons you have for doing things are pure but the way you go about doing them are wrong. Fret not however, your time will come. There will be a very happy ending. You just have to believe in yourself. You are not as cowardly and unworthy as you think you are."

Karen closed her eyes, swept her hands up and then let them fall back down. "This relationship I sense between the two of you.....it is very....intense. Very hard to put into words. While you both want separate things there is one common factor: your love will never waver." She flung her hands towards me. "You worry about being hurt. About being turned down. You worry and so you blame other issues for why you do the things you do. Yet you refuse to see the obvious answer right in front of you." Her other hand flung to motion towards Ranger. "And you...you worry about the complications. The danger lurking in the shadows. Your past. You worry about not being accepted yet you do not seem to understand that you're already perceived and permanent."

I watched Karen open her eyes, retract her hands and start to collect her cards. I was far beyond dumbfounded. I was close to mind boggled. I really, really hadn't expected to hear that. I expected some mumbo jumbo, a few calm statements that could have been applied to anyone and then that'd be it. But this lady...this lady was freaky.

And the thing that scared me the most was that part of my brain believed every word she uttered.

"DINNER'S READY!" Shrieked my mother in a hysterically shrill voice. I broke from my daze and watched as my Grandma Mazur struggled a wine glass away from her. For the first time in my life, I wasn't hungry. I felt sick and disoriented. I wanted to lie down.

"Babe." Ranger was in my ear. "You're shaking."

Was I? I looked down at my hands and realized they were trembling. What was wrong with me? I was freaking out over some psychic's words? For what? Who cared what she thought? So what if she...kinda maybe sorta hit us right on the mark? Who carried if she...kinda maybe struck gold with the 'being hurt' remark? I could see why my mom had gone to her liquor cabinet. That lady could shake you up without even knowing it.

Ranger wasn't nearly as emotional as me over it. Actually, he wasn't anything. He had the most placid look on his face. Oh God, she was right! He tried to cover up his emotions!

Stephanie damn it, calm down. I took a deep breath. He didn't try to do anything. He was just naturally withdrawn, okay? It was a good enough thought to get me off the subject for the time being. There was a crash and we all turned to see pieces of a plate on the floor surrounded by bits of food. My mom was laughing and rolling around on the floor in front of it.

Grandma Mazur shook her head. "She's wasted."

My father walked in, paused, looked around and walked out. He hadn't bothered to mutter this time.

"Shoot me." I pleaded, grabbing Ranger's collar.

He grinned down at me. "No way. We have too much unfinished business."

Lucky me.

*********

I always liked the night. The sky was dark and comforting, streetlights shone soft lights, crickets chirped. Okay maybe crickets weren't that cool but the other stuff was. I watched Trenton nightlife through Ranger's tinted windows. I watched cars pass by, shops close for the day, people retire to their homes. The city was turning in.

I turned to Ranger who had his eyes on the road and his hands on the steering wheel. He hadn't said much after the fiasco (disaster!) at my parent's house. He hadn't said much after we left either or now that we were driving back home. Er...I mean back to Rangeman. But that was normal. He never was one for small talk.

That had to change. "Was she right?" My voice sounded like it was invading the peaceful, quiet sanctity of the vehicle.

He looked sideways at me. "Who?"

"That psychic. Karen."

His dark eyes focused back on the road. "About what?"

"About everything." I leaned my head back, relaxing even more into the comfortable seats. "Do you really try and hide your feelings?"

Ranger's grip tightened on the wheel. "What do you think?"

I frowned. "Would you stop doing that? Can I get a straight answer from you once in while?" He didn't respond and I groaned. "Honestly, I don't see harm in you opening up more."

"Who says I don't open up?"

"Okay." I turned in my seat to face him. "Answer me this then: Would you really marry me?" I tried to see his face through the dark of the car but it was hard. He looked angry but I wasn't sure. "What? Does it take you that long to think about it?"

"I'm weighing my options."

"What?"

"I'm trying to decide if you're worth spending time with your family."

I squinted at him. He was smiling. "This isn't funny. I'm serious!"

"I am too."

I folded my arms under my chest and glared out the window. I hated men. I wish all of them would just disappear for a month or so. Then I wouldn't have been so frustrated and flustered and confused and sad.

"Do you still love Morelli?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to stare open mouthed at the man. His face was calm as always but I could see his finger was tapping restlessly against the wheel. WHOA, was he nervous about my answer? I opened my mouth but no words came out. Probably because I didn't know what to say.

"When you can answer that question honestly then I'll answer yours."

I let my head fall wearily back onto the cushioned chair and fiddled with my ring. The rest of the car ride was filled with silence.

************

When I woke up it was four twenty. I knew that because the clock beside the bed was glaring that number at me. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. I turned to feel beside me but no one was there.

As soon as we arrived back from my parents house last night, Tank had pulled Ranger aside, they had spoken for a bit and than he told me he had to go and that he should be back yesterday morning which was now; this morning. I was both angry and glad to have the sheets to myself. Angry because I was thinking way too much alone and that maybe Ranger could have gotten my mind off of my scattered thoughts but glad because I was guessing his idea of distracting me would have ended with both of us naked.

I guess if you thought about it, that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. I mean, there was nothing that could hold us back. There were no boyfriends, murderers or girlfriends, for that matter. I often wondered if Ranger ever had a girlfriend. That thought came to my mind the very first time I stayed here at Rangeman. It quickly fizzled out though because Ranger himself had told me that the men and Ella weren't used to women staying the night. Yet that didn't cover women staying and then leaving before the sun came up, did it?

I reached out to pet a sleeping Reese and sighed. She was curled into a small ball on Ranger's side. Don't worry; I hadn't given the feline false hope. I told her that if Batman caught her, she'd be thrown out the window. She received the information with a yawn and a meow. She wasn't really intimidated by him. Huh, I wish I wasn't afraid of him either.

I thought about my two weeks with Ranger and the remaining and the last eleven days I had left. So far I hadn't made up a good enough lie that'll get us both out of the wedding. Great. But I had time right? I mean, if I hit the two week mark and still hadn't dredge up an excuse that didn't mean we'd have to get married, did it? It took longer than that to plan a wedding right? Damn it, I needed to remind myself to ask my mom how long it did take.

I wondered if Ranger would simply quit after the two weeks. I mean if he fessed up than I wouldn't have to. Yeah! That sounded good. He could stop it.

I sighed. There was Stephanie Plum again. The cowardly lion. Except I was more of a mongoose than a lion. The cowardly mongoose who dumped all her problems on others and dragged them down with her. Hopeless, I was hopeless!

I rolled onto my back and stared into the night of the room. Ranger's room. Ranger's sheets. Ranger's bed. Ranger's home. The psychic's words were still repeating in my mind, Rangers's statement was repeating in my mind, my own thoughts were flashing through my mind. They were all driving me insane. They were making me re-evaluate everything. They had caused me to list pros and cons of the two men in my life. They had caused me to think about my future with Ranger if I had one. And my future with Joe if I went back to him.

The sad, frustrating thing was that all my thinking had gotten me nowhere but back to where I started: CONFUSED.

"My life sucks."

Reese didn't respond. I could faintly see her small body moving up and down softly with her breathing. I suddenly wished I could be a cat. They didn't have to worry about much but eating, pooping and licking themselves.

***********

"You don't look so good."

I blinked slowly and gave Lula a look. She didn't look so good either. Probably because her red, leather tube top and tight, red jeans were three sizes too small and her bleached blond hair was mussed with hair spray. But hey, I wasn't one to judge. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning. YIKES. My eyes were bagged with no sleep, my hair was a mess and I couldn't snap my jeans. I found that unfair because I had lived with 'body as a temple' man for a good four days. I suppose that hadn't stopped me from sneaking in donuts, subs, cookies, cakes and other prized foods when I went out.

I took a seat on the slightly bullet pummeled couch and closed my eyes. My car was gone from the lot, the police had cleared out and nothing was left as a reminder of the incident besides the door that was a bit off its hinges and the couch. Vinnie had made a big fuss about the damages and apparently, his complaints worked because new furniture was being delivered.

Lula tsk tsk tsked at my expression. "You look like death. This isn't about that masked man is it? He could have wanted to shoot anyone. But I guess if he had to choose, it would be you."

I gave her a look of disbelief. "Why me!?"

"'Cause you got that soft look. And you're small and bony. He probably thought he could take you out first and then come after me and Connie."

"Then what?"

"He probably would have went to look for money."

I suppose that could have been one angle. But then again, why would he rob a bonds office for money? It wasn't like we carried money around like a bank.

"I don't know. He didn't look like he needed money." Connie spoke up. "Did you see his shoes? They were freshly bought. They even had the tag on it."

I hadn't noticed that but was glad someone did. I wasn't sure how that would have helped me uncover him but I stored it in the back of my brain.

"Maybe you aren't looking good because you're still nervous." Lula wouldn't let up. "Or Ranger did something to make you mad. Or Ranger didn't do something to make you mad."

Her implications were grossly transparent. I narrowed my eyes at her. I wasn't mad at Ranger. Or at least, not by a lot. I was a little peeved about the fact that he still wasn't around both times I woke up and I guess I was still a bit mad about the car ride conversation and maybe I was annoyed by his sudden lack of concern. But that didn't mean I was mad at him.

"Drop it."

"Oh someone's cranky. Pre-wedding jitters strike again."

I groaned. The door to the Bonds office creaked open and in stepped Morelli. I groaned again. I was so far beyond exhausted with people I could barely feign interest in anyone anymore. My life was a whirlwind of crap and lies. I wasn't in a good enough mood to deal with Joe right now.

He was freshly shaved, in ripped jeans, a white T-shirt and his hair was cut. Hm. He didn't look so bad....

"Did Ranger loan you the black Camry?" He asked, eyebrow raised, eyes on me. He didn't look mad today. He looked pretty mellow. That was a good sign right?

"Uh...yeah." It was true more or less. Actually, Lester gave me the keys to it but it was Ranger's and I was pretty sure that bugs were planted all over it and that orders back at the Batcave was to keep an eye on me tenfold.

Morelli made a little shrug motion like he had known all along. He turned to Connie. "How's Vinnie? He whined to the station all night yesterday."

"He's in his office, praising himself for having insurance on the place and probably playing with his ducks."

Joe smiled. It was a soft, genuine smile and I was a bit jealous that he wasn't as miserable as me. His brown eyes locked back on me. "Could I talk to you outside?"

Oh great. I said sure and followed him out the door. We stood outside in the lot and I waited for his Italian yelling once again. He didn't say anything for a few moments. "You didn't happen to piss off anyone recently, have you?"

I blinked because that wasn't what I expected him to ask. I mulled over the question. "I don't think so...why?"

"Cupcake, someone blew up your car."

Ahh, so he thought it was a deliberate attack too! I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "Lula thinks it was just a regular robber after money."

"At the Bonds office? What did he expect to find? Files and a couch?"

See?! I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that!

He sighed and rocked back on his heels. "I'm hoping she's right though. It'd make me worry less." Joe glanced down at my hand. "That's a pretty big ring."

He looked like he wanted to say; "Ranger is a jackass and I'm going to gut him, slice off his head and mount it above my bed."

I smiled. "Isn't it? Pretty huh?" I held it up for him to see and saw his eye twitch. Morelli was trying to keep his cool. HAH! That'll teach him to be happy!

I instantly felt bad. I shouldn't be trying to irritate the man. I should be happy he was happy and that he wasn't as angry anymore. But nooo, I had to provoke him because my life was in the crapper. I know it's already been said before but I'm a terrible, terrible young lady.

"How much did it cost?"

"I don't know but my estimate is around a gazillion dollars." It was true. I hadn't even asked Ranger the price because I worried that it'd make me feel even worst. I didn't deserve this ring. Shit, I didn't even deserve the chance to pretend that I was marrying Ranger.

"How did he take the whole masked man incident?"

"Oh you know. Planted bugs, gave me a bodyguard, the usual."

Morelli glanced towards the Camry and I saw his eyes widen. "I didn't see him when I came in."

He was talking about Lester who was sitting in the driver's side. I pictured the big man waving when Joe glanced at him and had to cover up a smile. "Really? He's fairly hard to miss."

Joe looked at me and I saw the corners of his mouth lift up. Holy crap, was he smiling? Was he amused? Were we actually talking without arguing? This was a miracle! Then his grin dropped and the good natured atmosphere was washed away. "I could be a better bodyguard."

"Thanks for the offer but...I'm not sure Ranger would like that."

He frowned. "I don't care what he thinks and you shouldn't either."

"Joe, we're engaged."

"And? You think a ring and a word is going to stop me from getting what I want?"

I took a step back because his eyes were a bit wild. I saw Lester lean forward in the car and his eyes were narrowed. "What exactly is it you want, Morelli?"

His furious eyes clouded over with an almost sad look and he replied quietly, "You."

Damn it to hell. I stared at him with a pained expression. I had no idea what to say to that.

"Stephanie, look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me anymore and I'll walk away."

What? I bit my lip, glanced around and opened my mouth. I mean, really if I wanted Joe back, I don't think I would have let anything hold me back either but the thing was....I didn't. I didn't want him back and it surprised even me when I realized that. I stared at the man with his gorgeous face, loving look, well toned body and I didn't want him anymore.

So how come my throat was dry and no words were coming out?

Joe took my silence as a 'yes' apparently because he smiled. "See?" Then he simply walked away, got into his car and drove away.

I blinked in confusion. What just happened here? I heard a faint car horn being blown and turned to see Lester with his hands up and eyebrows rose as if to say; what was that all about?

I shrugged and raised my hands as well to say; I have no clue.

***********

"What...who is this? Oh lord Stephanie, don't tell me you dumped Ranger to engage this guy."

I watched my mother make the sign of a cross as she took in the site of Lester. I hung my head. "No! I called but no one answered. I just stopped by to see what's happening." Yeah and because I needed to try and deter my mother and her plans as much as possible. I dragged Lester in because I had a major headache, Ranger was no where to be found and I didn't think I could handle my family right now.

I heard my father mutter "Good grief." in the living room. I stuck my head in there, waved and caught sight of Valarie and grimaced. Damn, she got here pretty fast didn't she? She was holding a baby that looked to be at least two years old, two more kids crowded around the T.V and a pudgy man sat next to her.

Valerie was two years older than me and she was my sister. We were completely opposites of each other. In school, Valerie got straight A's, always looked pretty and primped and made my parents proud. I, on the other hand, never got above a C, dressed in whatever I could find and made my parents regret the decision of not getting vasectomies and tubes tied. That was the reason I was a bit happy when Valerie came home a few months ago to move in with my parents because her husband had ran away with the nanny. I know it was a horrible thing to find elation in but I couldn't help it. For the first time in my life, I was doing better than my sister.

Or I had been. Valerie was married again. To a short, fat clumsy man named Albert Kloughn. She had birthed a child of his; the baby and already had two children. One was Angie; the conservative, want-to- be president. I figured she was at least ten or eleven now. The other was Mary Alice; the younger sister who had wanted to be a horse. I'm not sure if she still did.

Valerie's life had straightened out considerably and mines was still sucky.

She spotted me and than waved excitedly. "Congratulations Steph!"

I waved back weakly and ducked back into the kitchen. I looked on in shock when I noticed that Lester wasn't standing beside me anymore. He was sitting at the table with Grandma Mazur in his lap. He looked like he wanted to shoot himself.

"He's a naughty boy." Grandma told me when she saw the look I gave her. Lester grimaced and my heart went out to him. Poor guy. I pulled her off of him and he scooted his chair away.

"Mom, I have to go in a few. I just wanted to know how long it'll be for the planning."

My mom, who was engrossed in a magazine, replied absently, "Not too much longer."

Yikes. I ran a hand down my face. "So..what? Two or three...years?"

"I should be done within a few more days."

Oh shit. "But...but we don't even know where we're having it!"

"We decided that it'd be here at the house." She glanced up to give me a weird look. "Remember?"

I most certainly did not remember. "Are you sure..? I mean...will everyone fit?"

"Sure! We can have it out on the lawn. But I need to know who you all would like to invite. Of course, your family will be invited and Ricardo's family but-"

"Ranger's family!?" I hadn't thought twice of his family. I felt sweat bead on my forehead, felt panic tighten my chest. Ranger couldn't invite his family! I didn't want to have to lie to two mothers. "Mom, I don't think...." What the hell could I say? Mom, I don't think Ranger wants to invite his mother and family to his wedding?!

Lester was giving me a look that said he wanted to smile and I kicked him. He closed his eyes but said nothing. In his mind, this whole thing was real and he'd look forward to it. I wondered if Ranger would invite the Rangeman crew. Wouldn't that be weird? Giant men with tattoos and scars in suits? Haha, I could see Tank now...

My eyes widened. NO! There'd be no inviting anyone because it wasn't really going to happen! The next words I blurted out were beyond irrational and stupid. I think I needed a new word to explain just how fucking idiotic my mouth could make me sound. "Ranger's mom is Jewish!"

There was a silence I didn't like and all eyes were on me. "Really?"

Grandma Mazur tsked. "So, what? She scarifies lambs?"

I ignored that crazed question mostly because I didn't know what the hell Jewish people did and I wasn't entirely confident that they didn't sacrifice lambs. "Yeah so...I don't think she'll want to come. Uh...she doesn't approve of our...marriage?" Had I just lied about a woman I didn't even know!?

My mom stared for a beat before sighing. "Such a shame."

Holy fuck, they believed me. I almost whispered a prayer to God but thought better. I was sure He didn't want to hear from me after all the lies I made and the ones I was still making and the ones sure to come. God was frowning down on me, I knew. God had already made his decision. He didn't associate with people who sinned. Hell was where I'd end up. Or at least, Hell was where I was heading if I didn't stop this charade and come clean.

******

Lester rolled the Camry to a stop in a parking space right in front of the building. I was jealous at his good fortune. I never got a good parking space. We were at the supermarket. I was going to buy a kitty litter, cat food, hamster nuggets and try to smuggle in sweets. I opened my door, got out and then waited for him.

Two minutes later, I stomped over to his side and he rolled the window down. "You coming?"

"I'll stay here and watch the car."

Men. They could fight killers, get shot, roll around in dirt but they feared supermarkets and malls. I gave him a tired look and trekked off. By the time I got in line, my cart was filled to the max. I had food for the animals, the kitty litter, some grooming products I happened to past by and lots and lots of food. I'm talking Kitkats, Reese cups, Almond Joys, gummy worms, a pre-made cake, Hersheys, marshmallows, M&M's, skittles, cookies, muffins, Frosted Flakes, Oreos, beer, Pop Tarts, pie, peanuts, popcorn, peanut butter, olives, Fritos, Cheetos, fudge, jelly beans, real white bread, doughnuts, Pepsi and I was mulling over ordering a pizza. The great thing was that I had enough money for it all. Thank the heavens for those two FTA's I took in.

The cashier gave me a wide eyed look and I knew what she was thinking: A heart attack waiting to happen. I couldn't care less. She obviously didn't know how it felt to be deprived of these gracious substances for a total of four days.

"Stephanie Plum!?"

Oh no. I turned to see a woman giving me a surprised look. I couldn't pinpoint what her exact name was but I knew she was friends with my mother. The woman gave my cart a shocked look but quickly forced a smile and said, "Oh sweetie, you shouldn't eat so much sugar. It'll go straight to your thighs and you won't be able to fit into your wedding dress. Oh nice ring! Wow!"

I felt my eye twitch. Before I could say anything, something whizzed past my ear. I stayed stoic for a minute and then pandemonium broke out. There was screaming, stomping, running, ducking. I heard the unmistakable CRACK of a gun being fired and rolled behind my cart. More bullets flew by and I could see through the holes in my cart that the person holding the gun was a man with a mask over his face.

A tag was dangling off of his shoe. It was the man from the Bonds office. I felt my stomach lurch and held a hand to my mouth. The gunshots stopped and then the man ran out, pushing past hysterical people. A beat later, Lester came running in. My hero.

"I tried to get through but there was a giant crowd outside." He told me, peeking over my cart. "You alright?"

No, I wasn't alright! A man I didn't know was trying to kill me! I bit my lip to keep it from trembling but the rest of my body started. My vision was suddenly altered by some sort of haze and I realized I was crying. Great.

In the background, I could hear the sirens blaring through the air.

^_^ haha. I threw in the psychic, did you notice what she said? Keep it in mind? ;P

PS: No offense to any Jewish people out there.

[Will be updated soon] [More Ranger soon as well. YUMMY.]