A/N: Waaah I put off writing this chapter for aaaages, because I didn't want to see Remus getting hurt -wibble-
Dedications:
Melita. Goth juice! Paper soap! I was in bed with your boyfriend last night haha. Wonk you xox
Fiona. Rape, rape, Severus Snape! O hai dere, moar harder plzthx?
Nicki/Nick. I had totally H.A.W.T indirect makeouts with you on Friday. POSTERPOSTERPOSTER Can't wait!
Matthew. Tell me where is Gandalf, for I much desire to sleep with him.
WARNING: Sirius lies, Remus cries, and something else that rhymes probably happens. Oh yeah.
Disclaimer: I have changed my mind. I DO own the Marauders! I AM J.K. Rowling! I AM lying!
Note: Writing this chapter made me cry. And I don't cry easily. So shhhbt. Whatever Fiona and Matthew tell you about me crying when Boromir dies is a LIE! My crying hysterically in a room full of strangers while Sirius dies maaaay be the truth however. -shifty look-
Yeah, it may seem like Remus is really overreacting, but he's never actually opened himself up like that before. He doesn't do relationships precisely because he doesn't trust people easily, and finds it hard to tell people his secrets, and the first time he ever let anyone all the way in, he got burned badly. Poor baby.
A lot of scene breaks in this one, sorry. I had a lot of small bits to convey, and big long dramatic scenes just didn't seem to fit with the flow of the chapter, and the feel of it. If that annoys anyone, sorry. I know it kind of annoys me XD
The Marauders
"Sirius! There you are! God, what's wrong? I've barely seen you for days." Remus exclaimed, having found Sirius tucked away in a forgotten closet at the back of the bus with his guitar. "Why are you hiding in a closet?"
Sirius shrugged. "I've just been thinking."
"Oh fuck." Remus recognised the look on his friend's face from years of women's broken hearts. "Are you... Are you breaking up with me?"
"What?" Sirius jumped. "God no. I love you." He sighed. "But I don't deserve you."
"What? Why not?"
Sirius stood up, leaving the closet for one of his other various hiding places in the bus, leaving Remus behind him, trying to make sense of his boyfriend's madness.
000
Another week of Sirius' hiding and evading all questions when found passed, before Remus decided to search his possessions. Sirius, it seemed, had been waiting for this, because the letter containing everything Remus needed to know was sitting on his pillow.
Sirius
Sorry I had to dash straight after, but I expect your friends would have gotten curious as to why we were curled up on the settee together. Doesn't mean it's not appreciated - nobody's sucked me off that well in a long time. That thing you did with your tongue--
Remus dropped the letter in disgust, tears filling his eyes. He was unable to help seeing the name at the bottom as it fell however.
Highest Regards
Severus Snape.
Remus dropped to his knees, feeling physically sick. This just couldn't be happening. Sirius had said he loved him. Sirius would never do that, not to Remus.
But. A nagging voice in Remus' head reminded him. Didn't Sirius love all those girls in Hogwarts? And didn't he sleep around on every single one of them?
This is different. Remus told himself firmly. Sirius loves me. He really does. He would never do that.
He was unable to stop the tears however, his whole body giving way to agony, lying sprawled on the floor. Unbidden, mental pictures of Sirius and Snape wandered into his mind, holding each other, kissing gently, doing things to each other that made Remus feel sick once more. He retched slightly, and then sat up, daring to take another glance at the letter.
-in your tight little arse-
He retched again, dropping it, overwhelmed by a new flood of tears. This couldn't be happening. Not now, just when Remus couldn't have possibly been happier. He stood up slowly, wiping his face as he headed to the hiding place he instinctively knew Sirius was in.
000
"What happened." Remus' voice was cold, but halfway through he was unable to hold back a sob.
"Found the letter, did you?" Sirius sounded hoarse, staring up from behind his hair, sitting in the shadows, he looked like a prisoner.
"How could you? What happened to-" Remus choked on the word "-love? Was I just something meaningless after all?"
"What? Oh god no. I love you, more than anything."
"Stop it. That word doesn't mean SHIT anymore! What the FUCK could you know about love?" Remus yelled, tears streaming down his face again.
"I-"
"Save it." Remus choked, turning away. "This is why I don't date. Goodbye, Sirius."
000
"What's up?" James asked Remus as he walked aimlessly through the living room, tears coursing down his cheeks. Lily looked up from the photos James had been showing her, and caught sight of Remus' face.
"Why don't you go ask Sirius what happened?" Remus said hoarsely. "He would know all the details. I just read them in-" He choked back a sob "-A letter."
Lily and James exchanged a look, and James raced off to find Sirius, Lily staying to comfort Remus.
"What happened?" She hugged him gently, leading Remus to the sofa, but he retched at the sight of it and turned, heading from a chair as far away as possible.
"Sirius. And Sn-s-him. Had sex. Right there." Remus sobbed.
"Oh god, Remus!" Lily wrapped her arms around Remus, allowing the werewolf to cry gently on her shoulder.
"I trusted him, Lily. I trusted him totally, and he went and-and-fucked around like that!" Remus sobbed, clinging desperately to Lily.
000
"Remus has just entered the living room in tears. He said to ask you what had happened." James said somewhat coldly. Although they had never been close in the way James was to Sirius or Peter, James saw Remus as a sort of younger brother, to be protected and kept safe from harm. Even if Sirius was the causer of said harm.
"I did something horrible." Sirius said in a hoarse whisper, hugging his knees to his chest.
"How horrible?"
"I slept with Snape." Sirius sighed. James inhaled sharply.
"Oh. And you and Remus...?"
"We were together." Sirius nodded. "I've ruined the best fucking thing that ever happened to me."
"Do you wanna tell me how-how it happened?" James was slightly shellshocked, sitting down next to Sirius.
"It was that night Snape was here. We were all really drunk, and then you guys headed to bed, and Snape came over and started kissing me and pressuring me. I was really really drunk, and I dunno... I just went with it. I don't remember much." He put his head on his knees. "And now I've lost Remus. God, I'm a dick."
"How long had you and Remus been together?"
"Three months now, nearly four by this point I guess. God, I love him so much." Sirius' voice cracked, and James reached out wordlessly to embrace his friend, allowing Sirius to cry his heart out on James' shoulder.
000
"I can't... I can't believe he would do that to me." Remus sobbed. He and Lily were now curled up on her bed, chocolates, tea, and tissues surrounding them. Lily nodded, handing him another chocolate.
"Men can be such bastards. Sirius is just a jerk."
"But he's my best friend! Not just my boyfriend, or fuck buddy, or whatever the hell he really thought of me. He told me everything. He told me he was gay, when nobody else knew. He - god, he probably planned out that whole date thing to get me to sleep with him! That fucking bastard!"
"God, really? That's sick! Using you like that!" Lily exclaimed.
Remus nodded, grabbing another chocolate. "And I really thought he loved me." Remus choked. "I loved him. But I can't ever trust him again."
"Oh, I wouldn't. If he tries anything again just let me know, I'll sort him out."
Remus giggled slightly. "Thanks Lily. You're the greatest."
"It's what I'm here for." She grinned.
"But he's not gonna get the chance to try it again. I'm leaving the band."
"What?" Lily gasped. "But there is no band without you! You've gotta stay Remus, at least for the rest of this tour. Think of all the fans that've bought tickets and will be let down that you're not there!"
Remus thought. "I'll think about it. I don't think I can play at all yet though."
Lily nodded. "Of course. I'll talk to James and Pete about cancelling the next few concerts to try and sort this out. We'll make some excuse, give you some time."
Remus smiled. "Thanks, Lil. I'm so glad you're here."
000
"How's Remus?" James asked when Lily entered the lounge. He had been filling in Peter with what they had figured out so far, and Lily sat down, sighing.
"Sleeping, in our bed. Still crying, even in his sleep. He's really bad. How about Sirius?"
"Crying in a wardrobe, and refusing to come out. From what I made out over the tears it was less consensual than Remus seems to think."
"S-Severus raped him?" Lily gasped.
"Not exactly, but Sirius sure as hell didn't want it." James said darkly. "He feels like shit."
"So does Remus, he was talking about quitting the band after this tour. I told him we'd think of some excuse to cancel the next few concerts, let them sort out what they can."
"I'll say I damaged my wrist." Peter offered. "People are getting suspicious at my lack of injuries anyway."
Lily nodded. "Thanks Pete. I don't think Sirius and Remus talking is the right thing at this stage though. They just need to be comforted, and looked after."
James nodded. "Okay... I'll go talk to people, let 'em know we're taking a break. Lily my flower, could you bandage Pete's wrist up? Needs to be convincing and all."
"Can do." Lily nodded, all three of them getting up to go to their respective tasks.
000
Hi everyone!
I'm really sorry to inform you that I've hurt my left wrist. I don't know quite what's wrong with it, but the doctors have said no drums for a while, to be safe. We've had to cancel the next few concerts, which is really upsetting. We're so, so sorry to everyone, but we'll hopefully see you all soon enough. Assuming I haven't broken something, our next concert will be in London on the 26th. Hey, our hometown! It's pretty exciting, I can't wait to see some of you there. We might even have a few old friends coming, it'll be nice to see them there!
Incidentally, it's really difficult to type with only one hand. You sort of have to flail it all over the keyboard wildly. Very confusing and annoying.
Love from the road
Peter Pettigrew.
Peter stretched after hitting send. His right wrist ached from the effort... to be safe if any roadies were watching, he only used his right hand for anything now, even typing, so that message had been quite a stretch. Still, now it was done. He turned around, smiling as Lily came in.
"How're things?"
"Shit." Remus answered dully from behind Lily, and Peter jumped slightly.
"Remus!" Peter smiled, getting up to hug his friend, who returned it tiredly.
"Hey Pete. You've heard then?"
"Yeah, James told me." He sighed. "I'm so sorry Remus."
"It's fine. I'll get through it." Remus smiled. "I mean, not today, but I will be over it one day."
Lily looked up from where she had been peeking at the computer, grinning. "This is good Pete, it hopefully won't piss too many fans off."
Peter nodded, and Remus blinked. "What won't?"
Peter held up his left hand. "I seem to have tragically injured my wrist, meaning we have to cancel the next few concerts." He smiled innocently. Remus grinned, and hugged him again, a proper hug this time.
"Thank you so much, Pete.
000
'If he can do it, why the fuck can't I?' The thought had first occurred while Remus was wallowing in despair two days after his discovery. After all, the relationship was over, and he was sure there were plenty of people out there desperate to get with the mysterious, scar-faced violin player.
He dressed himself up properly for the first time in days and left the bus, not telling anyone where he was going.
All Remus remembered of the pub the next morning was that it was small and grotty, but he got chatting with some guy pretty quickly, and it hadn't taken them long to be headed somewhere more private.
The sex had been rough and dispassionate, but also somehow good, right. He had even managed to keep himself from gasping Sirius' name as he came, biting his tongue hard instead, and riding it out in silence. When he returned to the bus, exhausted and filthy from the public toilet, but also somehow more at ease, Lily was absolutely frantic, having been convinced Remus had been off to kill himself.
"Relax, Lils. I just went out to the pub for a bit, had a few drinks. I'm fine. I'm not that stupid."
The next time was much the same, and the next, and next, Remus finding the release he needed in strangers, while Lily, James, and Peter grew more worried about him. Remus didn't talk much anymore, just spending all his free time playing the violin. He had taken to dressing all in black and wearing much more eyeliner than he usually did, and didn't like anyone coming to see if he was okay.
The first time he actually brought someone home from the pub for a go was startling to all. Lily was the first one to find out, when she came to wake Remus up and found two bodies in the bed instead of one. From then on this was a regular occurance, Remus didn't seem to care that anyone was worried about him.
Sirius simply sat in his closet in silence, eating and drinking when things were brought to him, occasionally leaving to use the toilet or shower, but otherwise he simply cut himself off, wrapped in misery, and horror at what he had done.
A/N: There we are! Shortest.Chapter.Evah, I'm sorry, but it fit. Expect the next chapter soon, it WILL be the last one. It'll probably be sooner than this one was, since it contains the scene that first inspired this story, and I've been aching to write it since I started. Exciting! It'll also be longer lol. Sorry 'bout that XD
REVIEWS!
remuslives23: Who doesn't love sexually aggressive Snape? OH MAN I would pay to see that too! I may have to write it now... I've actually had a Snape/Sirius fic in the wings for well over a year now but I never get round to it XD
xX-Fiona-Xx: It is totally impossible. I am trapped forever NOES!
Avahin: Oh man the world would be such a freakin' awesome place if that was how first dates worked. Wow four reviews! Thank you so much :D
And thanks to Slasharific, rekahneko, BlackLycanth, Scoot, Herb3, and GemTheWitch.