"Maker, look at it. So much easier to ignore when it's far away, and to actually walk out of it, to be that close..."

"It was very... Green... I can take you there if you like, we can take some snacks and make it a day of hiking and killing demons, what do you think? " Sena looked at Blackwall and laughed.

"Oh, my Lady, I believe it would be too much excitement for me." The Grey Warden leaned on the stone pillar near the forge.

"You are oddly charming for a man I found wandering in the forest"

"I've always thought myself more odd than charming. But I'll take the compliment from the Lady. They are hard to come by these days. " Blackwall's eyes narrowed in laughter and Sena joined him. Blackwall was a fine addition to the inquisition ranks. He made her feel safe.

"So, you need something large and heavy you need moved?"

Sena was taken by surprise with such an open flirt. But she had no problems with it, she had started it, in a way. "No, Blackwall, talking with you is good enough. Although, that would be a waste of your talents, I believe you would be better suited standing between a dragon and I. A personal shield of sorts."

"I'll take that, Harold. I have to admit, I thought you'd be…"

"Not a mage?"

"I mean no offense, my Lady. It's just that we get used with mages only in Circles. Enough to forget they should have the same right to move around as any other person. I must say, it's refreshing. It's what you do and how you do it. That's important."

"No offense taken. "

"I have to say my Lady, you're unlike any woman I've ever met. Although, just one question. How do you think you fit in with all of this?"

"Some worship me, and I like it." She spoke with a deadpan face. Then, at the disgusted and questioning look he Blackwall gave her, she couldn't hold her laughter anymore. "It is a bit unnerving to be honest. I just want to stop the war, try to put things back in order. Find a better place for mages that isn't a prison or the madness of Tevinter."

"A worthy goal. For me, I'll be satisfied so long as we find the bastards that killed the Divine. They owe us some answers."

"I like you, Blackwall. No subterfuge, no second intentions. Just good morals. You are a decent man."

"I don't know what to say, Herrald."

"No need to say anything." She smiled. "Keep your sword sharp. Next time we travel, I want you with us."

"My sword is yours, my Lady." He offered his hand and she replied with hers. He touched his forehead to her hand and gave her an interested look.

Sena blinked back at the man. It has been so long. She smiled, gave him a nod and walked away.

From afar, Cullen watched their exchange. To see her openly laugh made him wonder how she really was when no one else was around. If he could ever elicit such a laugh from her. He was told she had an odd sense of humor. Even saw a glimpse of it the day he had helped her train. The warden watched her with hungry eyes and she seemed oblivious to it. In the recess of his mind he knew, he would never have her attention as the warden had it at that moment.

Oooo-oooO

In and out of meetings, the Herald had to leave again, now with Krem, Blackwall, Cassandra, Sera and Solas, to the Storm Coast and recruit the Bull Chargers. The thought that she had taken the warden with her, kept coming back to him. They were to storm Castle Redcliffe and they would need all help they would possibly get.

"What's with the worried face Curly?"

"This is the only face I have, Varric." Cullen look back at the flagon of mead in his hands. His heart was still heavy over the fallout he had with the Herald all those weeks ago, his head on the other hand, was brewing another major headache.

"Cyril told me it was a mistake. He didn't mean to drop all those papers in the brazier."

The Singing Maiden was full that evening. Soldiers sat haphazardly on the benches at different levels of inebriation, celebrating the end of a seven day training marathon. Cullen sat on a reserved table at the corner of the tavern.

"Hmmm?" Cullen gave him a questioning look.

"He is just a kid finding his way amidst this war, give him a break."

"The reports he destroyed forced us to bring two agents needlessly back to camp."

"I know. But believe in the kid. He admires you too much to function correctly when you are around."

"I gave him a reprimand. The subject is done. I'm not one for continuous torture."

"The soldiers here might think otherwise…." Varric looked at the Commander and saw the man almost falling asleep. He had held the same flagon since he had entered the tavern at sunset. It was now almost time to rest for the day and only two or three sips were missing from the cup.

Cullen kept quiet. The dull ache in his head had spread to all his senses. He closed his eyes and lowered his head to try to push it all away but he was failing miserably.

"C'mon, Curly. I think you partied enough for today." Varric stood up and gently woke Cullen up.

"I suppose you are right." He stood up. "Good night Varric."

Oooo-oooO

The Bull Chargers looked nothing like professional mercenaries. And that was precisely why Cullen felt confident in their capabilities. A ragtag of unassuming odd people, they could hold up the whole place and no one would see them striking.

At the war room, Sena had requested Iron Bull to participate in the meeting where they would be planning the incursion to Redcliffe Castle. The man had great insight on siege techniques.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle! Either we find another way in or give up this nonsense and go get the templars!" Cullen exclamated.

"Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister. This cannot be allowed to stand." Cassandra pressed.

"Commander, there is a powerful vint at your doorstep and he is about to command a legion of mages. Letting them be is not wise." Bull's reasonable voice permeated the space.

"Tell us, Commander, what outcome do you expect if we do not rescue the mages?" Sena's voice was sharp. Her patience with the commander draining by the minute.

"That is not what I meant. I do want to help the mages, but we don't have the numbers."

"The letter from Alexius asked for you by name, it's an obvious trap." Josephine pointed.

"Oh! How nice of him. Should I bring flowers?"

"Ugh… Herald…" Cassandra gave an exasperated breath, but couldn't keep the small smile pulling at the corner of her lip.

"You want to bring him gifts while others want to sit back and do nothing." Leliana pricked Cullen.

"Redcliffe castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults. We would be sending our men to their deaths. If you go in there you'll die, and we'll lose the only means we have of closing these rifts. I won't allow it."

"And if we don't take the vint down, you'll be left with a mage army in a very comfortable attack position to wreak chaos across Ferelden. But don't mind me. I'm just here for the fights."

"We can't march an Orlesian Inquisition army through Ferelden and not expect a war. Our hands are tied." Josephine tried to appease the rising tempers.

"The magister..."

"Has outplayed us." Cullen let out a resigned sigh.

"No. There must be another way! Alexius son, Felix, told me he is in a cult obsessed with me. Do you really think they let us be if I don't go there?"

"We cannot accept defeat now."Cassandra looked alarmed.

"We need another way inside. Maybe the sewers? A water course?" Sena asked the group.

"Wait, there is... a secret passage into the castle that leads to its dungeons. In my time with the Hero of Ferelden, we used it to reach the Arl, who was trapped by demons summoned by his son."

Cullen felt the elusive gears he always felt around the spymaster locking into place, he looked at Leliana. Echoes of his past slowly washed in memories he never fully managed to forget. Probably will never be capable to. She was there with her… Does she remember that? Me? Saying those horrible things to her? Asking to… Cullen locked his jaw and steeled himself.

"It's too risky, Red. If it is too narrow for the troupes, the Herald would be left without backup."

"That is why we need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly?" Leliana suggested.

"It's risky, but it could work."

"Fortunately you'll have help. Your spies will never get past alexius magic without my help. So if you are going after him, I'm coming along." A man entered the room.

"Dorian! I thought you stayed back, in Redcliffe." Sena smiled at the him.

"I'm sorry for the delay my dear, but now I am all yours."

The room went silent. Sena hugged the mysterious man in welcome. Leliana's eagle eyes were already scrutinizing every detail she could catch. Cullen casually rested his hand on his sword pommel and so did Cassandra. Bull watched from the background, allowing the scene to unfold. Josephine was the first to break the silence. "Greetings, Dorian."

"Hello, Inquisition. I believe we have an incursion to prepare." He gave the crowd a grand bow.

"The plan puts you in the most danger. We can't, in good conscience, order you to do this." Cullen worried. "We could still go after the Templars…"

"We ARE going after the mages, commander."

Oooo-oooO

Outside the Chantry, Cassandra was walking beside Sena, their friendly presence had a peaceful silence between them. They looked up the skies and they were cloudy, promising another pour of snow that night. Fastening her cloak about her, Sena made her way to her hut. After a whole day of discussions in the war room, she had preparations to arrange for the trip tomorrow.

"I have one last thing I need to discuss with you in private, Herald. Do you mind my paying you a visit in a short while?"

Sena turned around. "Sure Cass, I'll leave the door unlocked. I'll still be awake." and she walked away.

Cullen approached Cassandra and they watched Sena make her way to her hut. "When are you going to apologise to her, Cullen?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"During the whole time we were in Redcliffe, the Herald kept coming back on the fact that she couldn't trust you, trust us. She feared for her fellow mages. I believe a part in this fear came from your words, Commander."

"I imagined this might have happened. I wanted to apologise, but the moment never came."

"Well, your moment is now. She is awake and you have something to say. Fix this, Cullen. I know you are better than this." She pierced him with a pointed stare.

Oooo-oooO

Everything in place. Her bag of holding organized with everything she could possibly need for this visit. Sena then entered the bathtub Neessa had prepared for her, and it was magic on her tense muscles. Her back and shoulders were completely stiff. This is the last bath I'll have for the next two weeks!

She knew Cassandra was still going to show up but she had no problem with allowing the warrior see her in this intimate moment. In their travels, they bathed at the same place too many times to count. The candles cast a soft relaxing light in the room, the fireplace kept the place comfortably warm. Sena was almost asleep in the water when she heard a soft knock on her door.

"Enter, it's open, Cass."

Cullen had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he knew he had to tell her something. He had taken off his armor, made himself presentable and left all his weapons and shield in his quarters. I want her trust, I want to be worthy of her. His brow furrowed. His eagerness dissonant with how he thought he should feel. It left him confused.

He heard her muffled answer and entered the hut. The place was dimly lit and comfortably warm, so much different from his damp quarters in the Chantry. He felt an aura of peace in the small space that called to all his senses to lay back and unburden himself. Walking a few more paces, he crossed the shelves which divided the room, believing he would find the inquisitor at her desk, catching up on reports. When he came up to it and didn't find her there, he turned around.

"Yes, Cass?" Sena asked, her back to the person who entered.

Cullen was presented with the Herald in her bathtub. He closed his eyes and faced back the window behind him but the little he saw of her form was now branded in his memory."Maker! I am so sorry, Herald."

Sena's intake of air raised contradicted the shivers on her skin. Confused with her body's reaction, she turned around, splashing water on the floor. "Commander? What are you doing here?" Her voice was sharp and pointed.

"I… I… Maker.. I should go. My apologies... I can speak with you tomorrow." Cullen made the move to walk away but ended up bumping into her raven cage.

"Do not dare leaving without telling me why you are here at this time of the evening." Sena looked at the Commander's back. He was rubbing his neck, trying but failing to turn around.

"Herald, I am deeply sorry to have barged in on you like this. Cassandra suggested I come in her place. I knocked and I thought I heard you telling me to come in."

"I did ask Cassandra, to come in. I thought you were her." Sena looked at the man's back. He was wearing a simple heavy coat with trousers and boots, She had never seen the man without his armor before. Apart from her odd dream months ago. A dream which sometimes came back to her and showed her how lonely she actually felt.

At first, one could say he looked defenseless like that, but his bulk promised he was far from it. He was rubbing his neck and she could see that the tip of his ears were flaming red. "Stay where you are, you came to talk, so you will talk. Just give me a moment." Her voice held a different note. Huskier, less irritated.

Cullen heard water softly splashing. He closed his eyes but his mind dutifully filled in all the gaps. She was getting out of the bathtub, probably rinsing her hair one last time. Her feet softly padded around him. On his left, he saw her arm reach for her terry cloth towel beside him and the image of her drying her naked body materialized behind his lids. The vision of his dream was mending with his own imagination… with the curve of her shoulders and swell of the top of her breasts. He was confused. Suddenly, the smell of vervain and lavender flooded the air and all he wanted to do was...

"Turn around, Commander." She commanded.

He turned around and found her dressed in a long plush red velvet robe. Its edges trimmed in gold and silver around the vee of her cleavage and sleeves. His eyes didn't linger, he kept as cool as his training had taught him and looked her in her eyes. His mouth, dry.

"Yes? You have my full attention." She waved for him to sit on the chair close to him, while she sat on her bed, combing her hair.

"I… I owe you an apology. It was not my intent to imply fault on the mages for their abuse. The Templars have been gradually losing sight of the values and virtues of the order for years now, and we live in a time when that has brought us all to this tipping point."

Sena regarded him closely. His stance was open. His ears and cheeks still held a faint flush, but his eyes held hers in complete honesty. She tested him. "What we say in a moment of passion, is often our truest words, Commander. How can I believe your apology is sincere?"

Cullen found himself seeing her for the first time. He had been right. She had a barrier on all the time. It distorted how he… how people perceived her. On a regular day, she would look stumpy and clumsy. You wouldn't be able to find this glow on her skin, even her voice sounded different. Flatter. Right now, she was the woman of his dream. "It is. On my honor." Cullen straightened up and kept eye contact with her, a deep part of him was shamelessly marveling in what his eyes could capture. "Please don't take me as my misguided Templar brothers."

Hair completely brushed now, it settled in ringlets around her face and body. "Why do you care?" She asked tentatively. "Why do you care about what I think about you?"

Cullen looked away. Why did he cared? Why did he come here so late in the evening to apologise? "I… You are the Herald and I disrespected you. I do not profess those values any longer."

Deep inside her, a spark of knowledge hinted that there was something more to it. "I accept your apology."

She stood up to her full height, only now realising he could really see her, she forgot to erect her barrier. She looked him in the eyes and saw cool respect in them.

She gave him her hand for a handshake, but when he took it, he leaned to it, and pressed his lips on her bare knuckles. "Thank you my Lady Herald."

She inclined her head in acknowledgement and he left. His goodbye was polite and ingenuous, but it started slow burn on her chest. She looked at the hand he had just kissed and the soft presence of his lips lingered. Setting it aside, she went to bed and willed herself a dreamless sleep, if possible. The coming week will be trying.

Stepping outside, Cullen couldn't believe what he had just done. He wanted to apologise, that was all. But he couldn't hold back the urge of doing the same as he saw Blackwall do. His lips still bore the taste of her skin, and his heart thundered on his chest. He felt relieved, elated, lightheaded, bothered. This cannot be. I'm not whole anymore. He went back to his quarters. They were going to attempt to close the Breach in the coming week. The last thing I need is one more thing for me to fail.

Oooo-oooO