Well here's the next installment of this crazy story. Hope you enjoy!
I don't own Disney, Lucasfilms, or any partnership with them.
VI. Rey
She had known all along who liked who. I mean, come on. It was so obvious. Sometimes Rey wondered how the others could be so stupid that they didn't notice their admirer frantically chasing them around.
Well poor Rey was beaten up from the past two day's events. It all started yesterday with Finn. Rey knew Poe liked Finn and Finn liked Phasma. She had always tried to encourage Poe to tell Finn how he felt. Maybe Finn would change his mind and stay on the Light Side.
Rey saw Finn climb into an X-Wing. She whistled to Chewie and they followed him the Millennium Falcon. They flew up to Starkiller Base where Finn got captured just so he could talk to Phasma. Sighing Rey figured he'd get out by himself so she flew back to the Resistance Base and spent the day chilling.
Finn returned looking awfully happy. "Rey! I need you to help me build something!"
"Like what?"
"Like something First Order related."
Rey half closed her eyes. "It's for Phasma isn't it?"
"Eeyup! Wait how did you know?"
"You were singing your Phasma song the other day." Rey hated the Phasma song. So did the rest of the Resistance.
Finn shrugged. "So will you help?"
"If you love Phasma so much why should I help? It's your gift! Make it yourself!"
"Forget it. I'll make it out of paper!" Finn bounded off, leaving Rey to face palm.
"Chewie, do you mind if we go for a nice long fly tomorrow? I need a break."
"Rwar," said Chewie. He totally agreed.
So the next day Rey got up early and hopped in the Falcon with Chewie. They flew into space and went star gazing.
Unfortunately luck was going against Rey this morning and a tractor beam dragged the Falcon into Starkiller Base. Rey and Chewie were forced out and down to the ship lieutenant.
"Resistance trying to sneak in Starkiller Base?" He sneered.
"Actually I've come to save your necks from a terrible happening caused by Kylo Ren. Sound good?" Asked Rey. She had to come up with something.
"So you've come to babysit Kylo Ren?"
"Just for a bit."
"Yeah yeah whatever."
Rey grumbled. Feeling like she was wasting too much time she Force-blasted all the stormtroopers and officers in the room and knocked them out. "Chewie get the Falcon in the air. I'm gonna see if I can do something worth it while we're here." Chewie roared in agreement and headed for the Falcon. Rey ran down the halls.
She snuck around. Suddenly she heard someone shout "Hey!" Rey recognized the voice. She bolted around a corner, Phasma close behind. The captain called other stormtroopers and soon Rey had a small pack of plastic armored people chasing her.
She slid between two control panels. The stormtroopers ran by oblivious. "I want her dead or alive!" Screeched Phasma.
Rey waited until Phasma passed her hiding spot. Then she reached out and grabbed the chrome armored trooper. She bashed the gun away and yanked off Phasma's helmet. Then she slapped her hand onto the other woman's mouth. Phasma tried to fight but Rey held her tightly against the wall. "Listen to me!" Hissed Rey. "I know it's crazy sounding but I know you like Hux! And I know Hux likes Kylo! But you need to help me show Hux who Kylo likes and then maybe he'll change his mind and go for you!"
Phasma seized Rey's wrist and jerked it away. "How did you figure this out and will you really help me?"
"It's a long story that will have to wait and yes. Are you in?"
Phasma paused for a moment. Then a large smile spread across her lips. "Girl, you just got yourself a deal!" She grabbed Rey's hand and shook it violently up and down.
Rey smiled back. "Okay, now here's the plan."
"Wait!" Phasma cut. Rey looked up. "What's your name?"
"For now I'm just Scavenger. Ok now listen up." Rey leaned in and whispered the plan into Phasma's ear.
Phasma's smile just got bigger. "Sounds exciting!" She and Rey snuck out into the hall. Phasma ran to a particular part of the hall and pointed up. Rey used the Force to throw open a grate. She leapt into it. Then she Force pulled Phasma in. They started to crawl along but Phasma's armor clanked against the grates.
"Take that damn armor off!" Hissed Rey.
"Not if we have to go to Plan Z when I have to pretend your captured."
"Then we're gonna need a bigger grate."
"Don't you have that dumb mind trick where you can kind of tell people what to do?"
Rey hadn't actually thought about that. "Okay so just stay over this opening." She used the Force to send a hunch to Kylo to head down this hall. Kylo was in his room right now humming some song. Rey didn't know what but she left him with a small clue and then pulled away. Kylo shouldn't know too much.
"Now we wait," said Rey.
"Alright, Scavenger." Phasma and Rey stayed quiet for a few minutes. Finally Phasma said "Sooo how are you going to do this?"
"Force trick. I just need a good look at Hix to insert the right images."
"Hux," Phasma automatically corrected.
"Whatever."
Eventually Hux and Kylo walked underneath the girls' hiding spot. They were talking about chili peppers.
"Someone ate my chili pepper collection!" Whined Kylo.
"You were collecting chili peppers…" Hux couldn't sound any more dumbfounded.
"Yes!"
Rey shut her eyes and put her hand out. She could feel Kylo searching Hux's mind. She dodged his Force and thought of Kylo and Hux making out. It was rather disgusting to think of but Rey didn't give up. Hux began thinking of the exact things Rey put in his mind. She quickly pulled out. "EW!" Kylo yelped and skidded to a stop. Hux crashed right into him and fell over.
"Ew what?" Asked Hux.
"ARE YOU FORCING SERIOUS!?"
"What the Bantha are you talking about?"
"Don't lie, you idiot. I can feel your sexual tension for me. Do you realize how gross that sounds!?" Hux, who was usually full of witty answers, suddenly went brain dead. "If you were a girl maybe I'd agree but you're not! So let me know how it goes for you in the future. For now, I'm going to see my girl!" Kylo huffed and turned on his heel.
"Wait!" Hux cried. "Who do you like?"
Kylo's voice became very dreamy and floaty. He acted like he was in a daydream (and he probably was). "She's so gorgeous. So perfect… so… cute!" Rey nearly choked. She knew exactly who he was talking about.
"Who?"
"Why, the scavenger girl Rey of course."
Hux's jaw nearly touched the ground. "Are you serious!?"
"Of course I am! And if she doesn't accept my proposal get ready to mop the floors!" And Kylo skipped off. Hux climbed to his feet, disappointed. Rey and Phasma dropped down from above. They high-fived. "We did it!" Squealed Phasma.
"I better not be seeing a scene of Reysma or Phasrey," Hux grumbled.
"What?" Both blinked.
Hux ranted about his day so far. Phasma smiled and wandered over to him. "Well if you need anyone I'm always free," she said cheerily.
"Yeah, thanks." He shoved her away and shuffled away.
Rey patted Phasma on the back. "It's okay. Give him a few days. Now I have to get out of here before Mr. Obsessed-With-Me finds me."
"Okay. Thanks for your help," Phasma moaned. Rey left.
She slinked down the halls making good progress. As she neared the bay she turned on her com link. "Chewie, pick me up."
"REY!" Screeched a voice, too recognizable.
"Oh no," groaned Rey. Kylo came bouncing up to her.
"Hello Rey! So good to see you! I was hoping you'd drop by!" Kylo hugged her.
Rey slapped and Force-pushed Kylo away until they were his height away from her. "The Fulcrom?" She wailed.
"You remember me, right?" Kylo looked hopeful.
"How could I forget?"
Kylo yanked off his helmet and carelessly tossed it away. He pulled an engagement ring from his utility belt. "Rey, I have a question. Will you marry me?"
Rey froze. The she screamed and ran right by Kylo. She flung herself into the ship bay. "CHEWIE!" Rey howled into her com. Chewie roared. The Falcon swung into the bay, slowing down just enough so Chewie could open the ramp and Rey could jump in. "Punch it!" She shouted. Chewie hit the hyperdrive and the Falcon took off.
Rey sighed. Well at least she was out of there. She sank into the driver's chair and settled down. "Finally! I can relax with a little flying!"
"Rwarg," said Chewie.
It wasn't long before Rey reached D'Qar. She hummed a little tune as she cruised through the gentle skies. Such a wonderful experience of floating effortlessly in the air.
She saw an X-Wing. Rey closed in on it and looked over. Inside the cockpit was Finn, Poe and R2. "What the…" she muttered.
Finn saw her. Rey awkwardly waved and Finn waved back. R2 electrocuted him. Rey watched as Finn kicked R2. Then R2 shoved Finn. Poe rolled his eyes and lowered the X-Wing to the ground. And just in the nick of time. Rey watched in horror as R2 threw Finn into the self destruct.
Finn, Poe, R2 and BB-8 scrambled out. The X-Wing blew up. Rey sighed. She turned the Falcon around and opened the ramp. "Climb aboard!" She called. They eagerly did.
"If you don't mind I'm going to check something in the back," announced Poe. He stalked off.
'Oh boy,' thought Rey. Well might as well make sure Poe was going to be okay and not thinking of purposely crash into Starkiller Base with his X-Wing. "Finn, why don't you help Chewie. Listen to everything he says. R2, BB, be translators." Rey followed Poe. She found Poe in the dining room sobbing out his heart . She sat down next to him. "No luck?"
"Getting him to notice me is a lot harder than I thought," Poe wheezed. Rey sighed. She let Poe cry. She began thinking of Phasma and how Finn had openly announced to Phasma that he loved her. But Phasma's heart was set on Hux. And Hux got his heart shattered by Kylo. The whole thing was super confusing.
The Falcon returned to the bay and Poe slid down the ramp first. He ran to his room. Finn went to keep working on his little something for Phasma and Rey fell asleep.
The next day Rey was sitting on a log dangling her legs. She saw the First Order ship. Rey gripped her gun.
"PhasmaPhasmaPhasmaPhasma!" Finn bolted out, a little paper Phasma in his hand. Poe trudged after him. "So glad to see you!" Finn sang.
Phasma whacked him across the face. "Get outta here, FN. I got my own boyfriend."
Finn's jaw dropped. Poe seized this opportunity and said "Well maybe you and I could hang out instead. Right Finn?"
Finn didn't answer. Phasma glanced over at Hux with a dreamy smile. It immediately disappeared when she saw Hux staring at Kylo who was wandering around looking for Rey.
Rey walked over to the group. Kylo squealed and Hux grumbled. "Rey!" Cried Kylo.
Like Phasma, Rey slapped Kylo across the mask. "Stuff it, bucket head." Then she turned to all of the others and said "You know if you looked behind you you might see someone who would be interested in a relationship with you!"
So everyone glanced behind them. "Hux seriously wants to date me?" Kylo asked.
"Phasma likes me?" Hux muttered.
"Finn, please don't grab my hand and run away with me in tow," said Phasma.
"Poe?" Finn couldn't say anymore.
Poe looked between Kylo and Rey. "Er, does Kylo like me or is that you?" He asked.
Rey sighed. "With the exception of Poe looking at Finn. So what do you think of trying some romantic things with that person?"
"Heck yeah!" Poe said happily.
"Nah," said everyone else. Rey could have sworn a black could was hovering over her head.
Everyone turned away and looked at who they wanted. Poe suddenly burst into tears. "Why can't Finn notice me?"
Finn joined him. "All I'm asking for is Phasma's hand!"
Phasma began bawling. "Please Hux! Just love me!"
Hux sobbed loudly. "Oh Kylo, can't you be my lover? It would be a dream come true."
And Kylo made a river. "REY!"
Rey watched horrified as the five sat (or stood) around wailing like three year olds. Suddenly she let out a wild yell that made them all stop. "CAN'T A GIRL HAVE PEACE?! WHY MUST YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO STRESSFUL!? WHYYY!?" She collapsed onto Poe and cried in his shoulder.
While Rey soaked Poe's shoulder the others stared at each other. Then they all went back to bawling. The only one who wasn't crying was Poe. He stared at the tearful people around him. "Well this is confusing," He muttered. "This weirdness is just going in circles and circles of confusing love. Finn, do you even like me?"
"PHASMA!" Wailed Finn. And Poe began crying again because Finn didn't care the least bit about him.
Sorry for turning everyone into emo people at the end. Guess this is what I get for staying up past midnight to write this.
Unfortunately this is the last chapter of this book! :( I know, I'm sad too but this gives me more time to put time into my other story, Fun With Steve and Bucky. However feel free to comment an idea or two! In the meantime I suppose you can check out my Archive of Our Own account, Jak_the_ATAT. Most of my Star Wars stuff will probably be posted there from now on.
You know what to do; review, comment, criticize, whatever you please.