Chapter 5

Careful scrutiny - if you can wade through all the background noise of the mainstream media outlets - reveals that cities that quickly instituted strict mitigation strategies are doing better than those that did not. And, of those that did institute mitigation strategies, those with higher compliance rates are doing the best. Scott and Sissy are pleased to see that their state and county appear to be quite serious about the mitigation strategies. This surprises them somewhat as they hadn't had a great feeling about this before the pandemic started, but the current state government is showing that it is quite willing to be ruthless as needed.

The message begins to sound long and hard, follow the suggested mitigation measures. If you do not, you put the rest of us at risk. If you put us at risk, you will be considered a threat and treated accordingly by all legal avenues available. And in some cases, vigilantes act to "control" those families who refuse or act unable to control themselves. Law enforcement, already stretched too thin by absenteeism, is unable to address all of these incidents and they become so common that they begin to rarely make it into the news except as afterthoughts. Also, the reality of "if you loot, we shoot" begins to sink in. This goes hand in glove with Florida statutes outlining the liberal use of deadly force under certain conditions.

During this initial first couple of weeks, Sissy and her family continue to try and maintain a certain amount of normalcy. They continue to homeschool their children. Scott continues to work, though its not like his previous schedule of leaving at daylight and returning after dark. They still continue with their normal cooking and cleaning schedule. But things aren't as normal as they at first appear. Scott is reinforcing doors and windows. The kids aren't allowed in the front yard and their parents monitor all of their contacts. Sissy is frantically reorganizing all of their supplies. All of their choices now revolve around keeping their family secure and infection free.

They make a conscious decision to use their resources as wisely as possible. They use all of the fresh foods that are in the refrigerator that they can't quickly preserve in some manner. They go through all the remaining stuff in the freezer and if it can be canned in mason jars, that's what they do. They also convert all their sticks of real butter into ghee that does not require refrigeration. As their refrigerator and freezer empty, they refill it with drinkables and bottles of water.

After everything that can be processed for preserving is set aside, Sissy inventories what remains in their refrigerator and freezer. The inventory reveals in the refrigerator they have an almost full gallon of milk (15 of the 16 cups that make up a gallon), one quart of orange juice, a variety pack of sandwich meats, half of a 2-liter bottle of 7Up soda pop, a half bottle of Bloody Mary Mix, some flank steak that you hadn't put into the freezer yet, two loaves of sandwich bread, 1 package of hamburger buns, the tail end of a small can of pineapple juice, a large tub of margarine, lots of miscellaneous, opened condiments, several blocks of cheese as well as a couple bags of shredded cheddar cheese, most of a pie, two and a half packages of sliced bacon, half a container of sour cream, some fresh salad fixings, two green bell peppers, a small bag of onions, and a small bunch of celery.

In the freezer there is some frozen bread dough, a quart of vanilla ice cream, a 4 lb pork roast, a 2 lbs. Boneless chuck roast, several pounds of chicken pieces, two frozen pizzas, about two pounds of shrimp, a medium sized beef brisket, a bag of corn on the cob, a couple of pounds of ground beef, a pound of ground pork sausage, a large bag of frozen hashbrowns, and a bag of frozen chicken nuggets.

On the counters and not counted in the other preps are a small bunch of bananas and a bag of mixed apples. There is a large box of Twinkies that was a panic buy at SAMs because Scott thought they would last forever and a partial bag of chips or other snack food such as Cheez-its or pretzels. There is an unopened can of Coca-cola that Sissy had bought at a convenience store while she was out prep shopping but which rolled under the car seat and was forgotten; until it was found everything was being inventoried in the bug out bags that were in the car trunk. And there are several bags of potatoes that Sissy bought on sale on her last crazy prep run.

Everyone knows in advance what the next day's menu is going to be as Sissy posts it on the refrigerator door. This takes the guess work out of the daily chores. Doing this also means the family utilitizes all of their supplies in an economically efficient manner, getting the most out of every item possible.

One of the tools Sissy uses to evaluate how things are going food wise, besides her family's meal time comments, is her entries into their family journal. Their first day's worth of SIP meals appear like this:

I mashed enough of the bananas to make breakfast with then hid the rest of them so that they weren't a temptation for snacking. I'll use them to full advantage over the next couple of days. I made sure everyone knew that the 7 Up is for cooking and not drinking and had to close my ears to the groans. This is important so I put duct tape on the lid as a reminder. I took the flank steak out of the refrigerator and set it to marinating for dinner in a gallon ziploc bag. About mid morning I also took the pork roast out of the freezer and put it in the refrigerator so it will be thawed and be ready to set to marinating tomorrow morning.

Breakfast: 7 Up Banana Bread; beverage(s) of choice - such as coffee or tea - except don't use the gallon of fresh milk. Everyone gets a small glass of OJ for breakfast and that finishes off the quart of orange juice.

Lunch: Sandwiches made from one loaf of bread and the variety pack of sandwich meat; most of the chips that you had leftover from before SIP. The kids can have a small glass of milk with breakfast (that uses up 3 of your 15 cups).

Dinner: Fresh salad topped with whatever dressing(s) is open in the refrigerator; Lemon-Lime Flank Steak; white rice; black eyed peas; dessert is the remainder of the leftover pie.

I made sure to sanitize the gallon ziploc bag I used for the flank steak. I want to re-use it tomorrow to marinate the pork roast in. I put another two liter of water in the freezer into space freed up when the flank steak and pork roast were removed.

The social and academic activities that Sissy and the children are normally heavily involved in are no longer available to them. Even if they wanted to, mitigation protocols in place have cancelled gatherings involving children such as sports leagues and club meetings as well as all school and school-sponsored events. This is rigidly enforced by law enforcement. At first it is a big struggle for the whole family; especially for James and Johnnie whose schedule normally included lots of sports and other outdoor activities. But as reality sets in their attitudes smooth out. Scott and Sissy, however, are under no illusion that there is not a certain price to pay for SIP with five children of differing ages and personalities.

The oldest two, Rose and James, are mature for their age and very responsible at home. They are highschoolers. Part of Rose's outburst at Scott's announcement is due to this being her senior year of highschool and she has shed more than a few tears over the loss of what was planned to be an incredible year. No graduation activities, no prom, no walking across stage to thunderous applause, no bows in the last drama presentation she would have been able to be in with a group she had been involved with since middle school. Rose is also dual enrolled at a local community college. Luckily the classes are already an online type course so she continues on as best she can. She really misses church too, where she is heavily involved in student leadership. Of the five kids, she is also the most aware of just how bad things could get and she is very scared. For now she is just trying to get by and stay afloat mentally and emotionally and show that she is more support of her parents' decision that she initially appeared.

The next child down, James, is a sophomore in highschool. Somehow or other the idea of security has stuck in his mind and he is showing evidence of some strain. He won't let his sisters out of his sight and has taken to sleeping on the floor in Sarah and Bekah's bedroom. Scott and Sissy finally find out that he heard a news report of a family whose house was broken into and ... the story was quite graphic and has had a lasting impact on James. Scott and Sissy struggle with trying to alleviate his fears, but they cannot in all honesty tell him everything is just fine and dandy in the world. Or lie to him and tell him that the news broadcasts are false or exaggerated and that he can just ignore them. Scott does his best by getting James to help out around the yard and by playing some rough and tumble sports with him in the backyard; anything to help him work off some of his anxiety and to get him talking.

So far the youngest three are managing better than Sissy expected. Sarah is the middle-schooler. She is normally more dramatic so her easy acceptance of the situation is probably temporary. But so far, as long as people in the family are willing to listen to her talk and pay attention to her then she appears content with the changes in her routine.

Bekah is in the third grade and is normally easy-going though she can have a temper. But she is also a people-pleaser. Scott thinks her behavior is driven more by seeing her parents worry than any real understanding of what is going on. She is making art projects and giving them to anyone that seems to need extra attention. She is giving lots of hugs and wants to sit in Scott's lap more. Its pretty obvious she is feeling the tension even if she doesn't fully comprehend the reasons causing it.

Both of the girls worry for their friends. But at their ages corresponding via email isn't always reliable. All the kids, including the older two, add something at the end of the Grace at dinnertime, usually mentioning a friend or family they feel might be in need. It's sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. But Scott and Sissy don't suggest stopping because this is at least one way to help them express their feelings.

Johnnie is the toddler and "all boy." He is also the baby and has gotten spoiled. He pretty much follows the older four kids around all the time trying to imitate nearly everything they do. His energy level can be trying, so everyone in the house has to take turns being his "keeper." He thinks he is being punished when he is told they can't go to the park or to any of the classes he is used to participating in like pee-wee sports or preschool at church. Its frustrating for him because he doesn't understand and frustrating for Scott and Sissy as they try and redirect him to more positive thoughts than he must be a "bad boy." They keep as much outdoor/backyard time into their schedule as possible to help all the kids with the tension. Sissy isn't sure how much good it does, but it keeps them from moping inside the house.

Scott and Sissy bought lots of books – some new, some used – to help the kids fill the hours that they aren't doing schoolwork or chores. That was a good move, and it is working well. There are also lots of puzzles, board games, craft supplies, and sports equipment to be used during leisure time. They recorded lots of history, science, and travel shows for the kids as well. Sissy downloaded lots of old movies off the Internet and lots of audio books and burned everything to disc. She doesn't normally like to assign the kids "busy work" with their lessons, but right now it helps the kids focus on something besides what they can't control and the unfairness of it all.

Day 9
(shared by Cottontop)
We are settling into a routine, not much of one, but a routine. During The day we clean. Hubby goes out to the garage while we clean, do laundry if needed, weed, and garden. My lavender plants are ready to be harvested, and the St. John's Wart is in full bloom. Beautiful yellow flowers. I harvest some mint for my tea. The chocolate mint I planted didn't make it. Don't know what happened. Garden, overall looks good. We just need some rain. After lunch, Hubby takes a nap (more out of boredom), and the girls and I sit at the table to attempt studies. If we're too distracted, we'll craft. It's good quiet time. We've been sitting on the patio in the evenings.

Our next door neighbor told Hubby two days ago that he's going to have to shoot his horses and alpaca's. He won't be able to feed them, and his feed supply won't last much longer. He's concerned too, dogs that have been let loose will prey upon his animals. He asked Hubby to help him drag them off in the woods with the tractors. He relucantly he said he would. I later said that I was uneasy about him being to close to the neighbor. He said not to worry, and smiled.
Yesterday morning, we woke to the sound of gunshot. baby girl jumped in bed with us, pulled the blankets over her head, and said "What's that?!" I just told her it's o.k. and kissed her cheek. I found the oldest on the couch with tears. She had been in our neighbors 4-H club last year, and worked with the Alpaca, showing one at the fair last year. She won her first 4-H awards with the Alpacas. We listen to the gunshot, and his wife screaming. It was a difficult morning. Hubby helped him drag those poor animals off to the woods later on.

I haven't heard from my friend since she called me 9 days ago. I'm very worried for their safety. I haven't heard from my mother for as long. I'm so sick with worry for family and friends. Most did not have supplies, and were attempting to leave to be with relatives. The phone hasn't rung in 4 days. Kind of eerie though. I'm doing all right. I think we're all all right for now. It's still early.

So far the Internet is still up, though there are times when it is slow even with a high-speed connection. The people on dial up are worse off. Websites go down more often and some junctions have to be re-routed because of staff absenteeism and parts breaking down. The government is requesting that websites that use a lot of bandwidth for graphics and sound to either temporarily shut down or somehow minimize their usage so that traffic doesn't bring the entire Internet crashing down. YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Whatsapp are some of the worst hit by these new rules. People can still blog and post, but their sites have been stripped down to mere skeletons. This hits teenagers and some young adults worst, especially those who spent most of their free time on the Net. Now with schools closed, groups gatherings cancelled, phone lines unreliable, and curfews this age group is having pretty severe socializing withdrawals. They are beginning to make lots of noise about their discontent and Scott and Sissy aren't the only parents whose wits and patience are being stretched thin.

To make matters even more difficult, some donkey's rear-end created a really bad computer virus out ... cutely called "the cure for H5N1." People are scared enough and desperate enough that they aren't paying the attention they should to opening strange attachments. People who have kept their computer virus protection up ... just like those who have prepped ... have a much easier time of it. This virus is also affecting the mainframes and networks in nonresidential sectors. With IT departments of companies already over burdened with connectivity and security issues, or nonexistent due to job shuffling and absenteeism, many businesses are finding it necessary to return to paper forms and manual calculations rather than rely as they previously had on computer technology. This problem also affects utility companies and their suppliers, magnifying an already growing problem.

Scott has to this point continued going out into the community to address maintenance issues and collect rent from their tenants. Many of the tenants are already falling behind on their rent and it isn't even a month into the pandemic. Scott and Sissy shake their heads and wonder what to do. Looking at their business continuity plans, they decide that it will be necessary for them to cut back to emergency-only repairs. Those emergencies will be prioritized. "Emergencies" created because kids broke something or clogged up the toilet will be put on the bottom of the list ... tenants have been repeatedly warned that they are responsible for their children's and their guest's behavior and actions in their Leases. But to remind everyone yet again, a memo is quickly distributed to every rental unit. Several of the tenants are not happy with the enforcement of rules and threaten to take them to court. Scott merely distributes information on notification for non-payment of rent as it is covered in Florida statutes. He also points out that the laws allow for emergencies and if they feel like their unit is unlivable, they can move out after submitting their reasons in writing and getting the court to release them from the Lease. Some of the tenants try only to find out that without security deposits and reference checks, no one will rent them another apartment and the courts aren't hearing very many civil cases.

It's not only the risk of infection driving the change in how Scott and Sissy handle the business-related maintenance issues. The cost of fuel is getting outrageous. It is now in excess of five dollars a gallon in their area. In parts of California the cost of gas has risen to over $8 a gallon and is going higher quickly. Reflecting this, municipal mass transit routes around the country have been drastically curtailed and many gas stations are closing.

Luckily for most people in the USA, the virus hits during a relatively pleasant time of year. No one has to swelter in 100+ degree weather, and no one is freezing ... yet anyway. Countries located in the other hemisphere are not doing as well. There are already complete news black outs in some parts of the world. All anyone can do is sit and wonder what is happening in those places. News fatigue is becoming common ... how many deaths can they report with a straight face? It's like vultures circling the city.

As a result, a lot of people are turning off the TV and turning on the radio and Internet to get their news. Those still watching TV are doing so to zone out, escape ... or in some cases to do school. There are several public television stations around the country broadcasting lectures and assignments for the children in their viewing areas. Universities that have TV stations are doing likewise ... both for their students as well as for local public school children. In the evenings, after the educational shows are over, these stations are running informational loops on things like recognizing pandemic flu symptoms, home health care, local care facilities that are still accepting patients, how to purify water, etc.

Information IS available if you take the time to look. Blogs, forums and internet communities like those on Yahoo are proving to be more and more of a lifeline for those that need help and information, or who are just desperate to communicate.

Posters come together to share home health care tips, recipes, basic survival skills. In community specific groups, adults with no children offer to collect needed items for a family with children ... sometimes for no charge but often in exchange for some item that they themselves need like a car part or something similar. Freecycle groups and Craig's List are inundated with posts nearly to the point of collapsing those websites. While many of these groups are completely altruistic, there are also the foxes amongst the hens that take advantage of the situation. If people weren't wary before, they become so now. There is even some humor to be found, though a dark humor, as exhibited by a no name poster to one of the survival forums who said, "My first days were spent digging around in this massive wall of boxes I thought I had packed with an intelligent plan in mind; wondering how the heck does that work and what was I thinking when I ordered this at 2 am in the morning." All of this is going on and the pandemic is barely a month old.

The original government and private sector recommendation to prep for 3 days to 2 weeks has proven to be grossly inadequate. While those two groups eventually started saying "at least two weeks," too many citizens turned a deaf ear, or were content to say "we always have two weeks of food in the house." For those families that did add 2 weeks of supplies to their normal household grocery inventory, they maybe had a month of food in the house total. They are now beginning to run out of everything; certainly all convenience and snack foods are long gone from their cabinets. Meals are becoming a monotonous mix of the dregs left in the pantry.

Some of the most distressing posts appearing on the forums are questions on how to deal with family and neighbors who did not prep. Each person will have to decide that for him or herself, but there are no easy answers.

Almost a month ago, we got word from WHO that 20% of a town in India had fallen ill with avian influenza. At the same time, it was discovered that a remote village in Nepal was also being decimated by avian influenza and some areas of Indonesia, Vietnam and Egypt are suspect. Then came Mexico City. As some had predicted, WHO elevated the pandemic alert from level 3 to level 6 overnight. There was no warning given; no chance for leisurely last minute prep run.

Since dear husband and I both work in the education field, our schools
closed down immediately upon the pronouncement of level 6. We bolted the doors, intending to SIP with the supplies we have on hand. I'm comfortable that we can ride this out - if we can avoid getting ill. With our various health challenges, getting the flu would be a death sentence. In addition, we also have to consider that our ferrets are just as likely to die if they get the disease as we are so we are trying to be extra cautious (our ferrets are our children!). I had prepped a lot in the food area, sometimes over the objections of dear husband. "Don't you think you have enough of that?" he would demand. This caused a lot of stress between us, even in good times. He is also a fussy eater. It's been very hard for him to adapt to eating from our stored foods. I am fine with eating whole foods and being a vegetarian if necessary however my husband wants meat and potatoes at least once daily.

I'm to the point where I don't care if he eats or not since he's being such a pain. However, he's also diabetic and when he doesn't eat and take his medications, his blood sugar can rise to 400 or more, causing severe problems. I'm doing my best to make food seem like it's the things he likes, even if I have to fry things in lard to get the flavor he wants.

I tried to think of every possible contingency when I was prepping. We agreed that we would buy for us and only us since the two families next to us never wanted to hear about our "prep now" attitude. From prior conversations, we suspect that the older couple across the street from us had adequate supplies to tide them over and they are very competent gardeners to boot. We've seen them out and about on their property, tending to chores and seem to be comfortable with SIP.

But the two neighbors on either side of us have young kids and didn't garden nor lay in any supplies. It now appears that they have run out of food. Since I was known for sharing extra lasagna, fresh berries or canned jelly, these families have started coming over, knocking on our door and begging for something to eat.

Husband and I had agree - no sharing. But how can you turn away people who are your neighbors - and who have kids? If we all survive this pandemic, can I honestly look them in the eyes knowing that we could share some of our supplies and make them more comfortable? Last night my dilemma was suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone rattling the front door knob. Even though all the curtains are drawn, I froze. Who is this person? "Should I respond or pretend I'm not at home?" was all I could think. Just when my fear was getting into high gear, I heard footsteps walking away. I retreated to my room to get the shotgun - just in case. A few minutes later I heard the the back door knob rattling. With the faint moonlight, I could tell that is was not any of our neighbors. They scaled our 6 foot tall fence and probably wouldn't have stopped until they were inside the house. I racked the shotgun and prepared for the worst when something must have scared the intruder off. They took off at top speed and I heard them clamoring over the fence and the thud of them landing on the other side. Then the quiet slap-slap-slap of running shoes on asphalt fading
down the road.

My thoughts returned to my neighbors. Do we share?

In Scott and Sissy's area, some very slow restocking is occurring in the grocery stores, but selection is no where near the quantity and varieties as prepandemic. There are very few fresh items available, despite a large harvest occurring in some parts of the country; those harvested foods are being held in the communities where they grew. Fuel costs have made it difficult for the corporate mega-farms to operate their machinery. This problem is even worse for the small, independent farmer. Harvesting has also been affected by the fact that infections and deaths have hit migrant worker communities disproportionally high; as did the early closure of the US-Mexico border. There is too much labor for too few laborers. Some small farms offer "U-Pick" opportunities rather than see the food rot in the fields. Few of the mega-farms have yet reached that point. In fact the large corporate farms have chosen to hire security to prevent hungry people from swarming their fields. Most farms exist in rural areas which makes transporting even small amounts of produce difficult.

Even if the food distributors wanted to, large-scale transportation options is a catch as catch can proposition. Many of the independent truckers are out of business or not taking on long hauls away from their home base. Many companies that maintain their own trucking lines have had to halve their fleets. Fuel costs alone make putting a truck on the road prohibitive.

When restocking of grocery shelves does occur, the prices are outrageous! Who wants to pay $8 for a gallon of fresh milk?! Chicken products and eggs were really cheap for about a week due to fear of infection, then they disappeared from the market and haven't been seen since. A loaf of the cheapest store-brand bread is going for over five dollars. Sissy is now glad that Scott thought to buy all of those eggs because they are probably the last fresh eggs their family will see for a long, long time. It's nothing but dried milk and eggs from here on out for most everyone, if you have managed to stock up on them prepandemic.

To address shortages and potential hoarding by black marketeers, federal and state governments quickly order grocery stores to impose quantity limits and only allow so many patrons in the store at any given time. Some grocery chains have closed stores in favor of consolidating what stock they can in central locations. Closed stores mean fewer employees to pay and less security to invest in. Due to the food riots that occurred in places like New York City, Chicago, Miami, and Los Angeles the stores that are still open have hired security guards and some of these guys are real bruisers. Screw up, cause a scene, and you'll either be forced to the end of the line or thrown from the store all together. And like bouncers, they keep tabs. Mess up once and you are on their list forever.

Speaking of bouncers, even in the midst of a pandemic, some businesses continue to thrive ... bars, nightclubs, and strip joints. You would expect businesses such as these to be the first to fail, but they continue to suck the life out of the people who frequent these places as a form of physical and mental self-medication. Prostitution has also continued to flourish, but instead of cash, the transaction price is given in cans of food, ounces of drugs or number of cigarettes. Due to this risky lifestyle, the "Corpse Crew" – a hazmat team set up to collect cadavers found on the street – routinely picks up several bodies each night from street corners and alleys known for their drug and prostitution problems. And not all of the deaths are flu related. Violence is particularly rampant in this level of society, even more so than prepandemic.

Because of their preparation Scott and Sissy are doing considerably better than those that didn't prep and those that only prepped for a couple of weeks. At this month's inventory, Sissy realizes they are using some items too quickly – snack foods, sodas, paper plates – and she begins stricter rationing of their supplies. Even so, just to make certain that not every item of a type is used up before planned, Sissy takes at least one of everything and hides it in several storage boxes that she duct tapes closed. This reminds her of a scene in the book Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank where the main character hides a small cache of items in the house only to forget he had done so. Sissy thinks instead of forgetting where she hides her "survival rations," she is more likely going to obsess about ways to never have to use them.

Sissy is still able to keep in contact with a lot of their extended family and friends located around the country fairly regularly; the news isn't always good. There have been several illnesses and some deaths. There are also several people that they haven't been able to contact at all. As blessed as Scott and Sissy feel about their own choice to prepare well beyond recommendations, they are as concerned for their family and friends who chose not to accept the challenge to prep at all.

One of the earliest shocks they faced was the death of her cousin's son; it came several days before the pandemic was officially declared. The young man was away at a prestigious northern university. He was one of the first of his family branch to even go to college, and he was doing it on a full academic scholarship. Everyone was very proud of him and had high hopes for his future. The cousin talked to her son one morning and was making arrangements to have him come home, just to be on the safe side. The next morning she received a call from the school administration; he and his three roommates had been rushed to a local hospital. Two days later the boy died in the middle of a fever induced seizure. It happened so quickly. It was nearly impossible to believe that a healthy young man could be gone in just a few days, all because of the flu.

Even though mail is becoming less reliable, it is still the primary mode of communication for many people. Sissy got a letter in the mail today from one of her family members that live up north. It had been delayed at some point and is already a couple of weeks old as she reads it. She feels so bad she tries to call her right away but the call won't go through. She leaves her an email, but she discovers once again that email just isn't the same as hearing the voice of the one you so want to reach.

Dear Sissy,

Just a quick letter to let you know we are doing OK so far. It has been a few days since we heard, at least "officially" that the pandemic has started, and cases are spreading in the United States. So far it appears that the casualty rate is very high. I have heard of at least 120 deaths in the U.S., with so many more reporting to hospitals, seeking treatment for their symptoms that the true numbers are not known, but the hospitals are already suffering the initial onset of collapse. So far I have not heard of anyone recovering yet. It's too soon I guess.

I had felt "the coming" for at least two weeks, due in part to watching what was happening in the world and on the flu sites. Dem and Monotreme had already started to "sound the alarm," so I was alerted before the majority of my fellow citizens had a clue that anything was going on. The reports of a strange sickness had surfaced in the news, but testing results had to be completed and no one was announcing what they thought it might be or that the pandemic had begun. I had already done my last "oh my God" trip into town and had picked up the items from my "Last minute Run List." I was still ahead of most by at least four days, before things really started to deteriorate. People looked at me funny, over a week ago, when I checked out with my baskets full of dog food, Clorox, batteries and fresh produce. They wouldn't look at me funny now. The world is not the same place anymore it seems.

As you remember we recently moved into our new home. I know we made the right choice. Way out in the country, a windmill for auxiliary water, 5 miles of dirt roads will definitely cut down on excess traffic. We are still strangers in the "neighborhood." Unfortunately, we haven't been here long enough to be "part of the landscape" and our neighbors, though pretty scarce, will still see us as "outsiders." I don't expect any of them to be asking for my help or vice versa, if it should come to that.

The good news is, since gasoline (when available and it is close to $7 gallon today I saw on the local news), is cash only, and supplies are already severely depleted, not a lot of people will be out driving around for the fun of it, or even out of necessity. By the time that most people thought to go and fill up their tanks, prices were already rising and stations were running dry, before the news even got "bad." Other parts of the world are already much more entrenched in the "battle" with the flu than we are it seems, and are already suffering severe worker shortages. No workers to load the ships, no ships it seems. I'm not sure yet how much that will affect us, but it can't be good.

Who was it that thought credit cards would continue to work? Fortunately, I have managed put away a couple of thousand in cash, in small bills, over the last couple of years, although I haven't had to use any of it yet. My last trip into town was before the PANIC buying struck. From watching the news, it appears cold hard cash still has a way with people, and for those with cash, they are still able to buy some of their purchases, as there are always those willing to make a buck out of other people's fear or suffering. Even if they are selling their own supplies at ten times the original price, there are those that simply don't have cash. Even the very well off found that their credit isn't helping their situation. The banks around here ran out of cash days ago. Everyone who didn't prepare are simply out of luck. Bread, water, milk and any sort of battery are totally gone from the stores though and I doubt they will be getting in any major shipments anytime soon. It appears that during the panic buying, the credit card systems were overloaded and it was slowing check-outs at the grocery stores and other stores, to the point that the managers said purchases had to be either cash, or a check with two forms of ID Most have since quit accepting checks as well. Some stores have simply shut their doors as they didn't have anything left to sell. So far, food stamps are still being accepted at the few places that do have some supplies. It seems that some with food stamps are better off for once than those with credit cards.

Around here the local news has suspended all regularly scheduled programming and is following the story of "The Great Pandemic" as they are calling it. Even the broadcasters are starting to sound scared. People rioting, police barricades, shooting in the streets, all of my worst nightmares are coming across the television in living color. Most of the coverage is not suitable for young children, but they don't even bother to try to temper what they are showing. The "officials" seem to be avoiding reporters so they are "interviewing" anyone they can find. I can tell you, I am scared.

The bad news for me is I called my three kids away at college over a week ago, with my "get home" speech. It is the week before finals and they said that they couldn't leave now, or the entire semester would be lost. I begged, I pleaded but they rationalized that there have only been a few isolated cases reported in their area, and that they would be fine for another week or so. "Mom, don't panic, everything will be fine," they said. The only thing I can do is hope that they are able to avoid any contact with the virus, until they are willing and able to leave. I haven't slept at all the last three nights, and spend my time sorting my supplies and deciding what I will use first and why. While my kids are waiting to finish their finals, they did agree to pack up their belongings and be ready to leave. I did take a little reassurance in that they could leave at a moment's notice.

They did manage to get an extra 20 gallons of gas in containers, after my initial phone call, before all hell broke loose, to bring with them, so they don't have to stop for gas on the way home. At least I hope that it will be enough. They are all planning on driving home together, the three of them, and they have one of their vehicles totally gassed up and parked, so it will have a full tank when they are ready to try to head "home." I only hope that the extra 20 gallons of gas will be enough to get them safely home to me. They are about 10 hours away by car, and they don't have the most fuel efficient vehicle. It is a truck though, so they should be able to bring a lot of their belongings home with them, IF they are able to get out, before a feared quarantine of their area is put into effect. They all have bikes and have them loaded in the back of the truck, so they won't be totally on foot, if something happens and they can't finish the trip by car. My worry is constant and incessant.

My husband insists on going to work every day, which is only adding to my concern and worry. If the kids were home, I simply wouldn't allow it, but since it is just me, I won't put my foot down until the kids make it back. I'm not worried about my health, but once the kids get home, I plan on keeping them from their Dad, until I am certain that no one is carrying the virus with them. Once they get home, and if my husband still insists on going to work, I plan on putting together food and water for him, and an air mattress, and he will be asked to stay at his office, until he is willing to come home for the duration. I have been thinking a lot about that as well, and think that if it reaches that point, to where he is willing to admit defeat, and the boys are home at that time, I will separate him in an old camp trailer that we have at our place, until I am sure that he is free of the pathogen. Hopefully, the kids will make it home and they won't be carrying anything with them, or everything I have done and planned will be for naught.

I tried unsuccessfully today to get on the Internet. No service available. I feel like my lifeline has been cut. No e-mails, no news I feel like I can count on. I'll keep trying. Cell phone service is also becoming jammed. "Please try your call later." I've only gotten through to my kids once in the last four days. They don't even have a land line. I wonder if there is a pay phone close to them, that they would think to try?

So much to worry about, but so far, I am not able to enact any of my well laid out plans. With the kids not home, and husband going to work everyday, I guess I just have to wait. So far, none of the school systems have actually closed, although I have heard a lot of discussions on the news about such things.

Everyone seems to be waiting until things deteriorate further. What is the matter with everyone? Don't they realize what is going on? God, I can't wait for finals to be over. I'm certain the University is waiting for the break to decide what their course of action will be. No one seems to be really ready to just quit living their stupid, mundane lives. Don't they see what is important? Most still feel that they won't get this "Pandemic," hell they don't even understand what it is and most don't really understand yet, that they could die during this. That their kids could die! Why weren't we more prepared? I feel like I know too much and only wish I was like "everyone" else...still "knowing" that things will just return to normal in a few days, and watching the crisis unfold on the news with an idle fascination. Many have still done NOTHING! There is a part of me that is hoping that it will all just go away, but I keep the television on 24 hours a day, and so far I haven't heard any positive news at all. Just more of the same type broadcasts...more people becoming infected, techniques for hand washing and limiting exposure, to use a mask or not...Don't panic, everything will be fine. The doctors and scientists have everything in hand. I think I am going crazy now. It is just a dull background noise now to me. Waiting is the worst part...watching and waiting.

If only my kids would come home, I know I would be fine...

Your Cousin