Summary: Surely Konoha has a diplomat or two. If only to keep their opponents focussed on one person while they attack from a different source.

Disclaimer: I don't own what other people do. I do own me, though.

Feedback: Sure thing... I like hearing how I can improve :)

Pre-fic Comments:

Ever heard "Planet of Women" by ZZ Top? Absolute first thought that comes to mind -- Jiraiya.

If anyone wants to continue this, the previous, or any of the drabbles in this collection, shoot me an email. alan dot p at orcon dot net dot nz. (Hopefully ffnet won't eat that.)

"This is too much!"

Sandaime looked evenly at his top diplomat. "Tenma, think of it as a test, if you must."

Well, he had always wondered what could ruffle Tenma's unshakable poise.

"But... to gain the trust of that demon!"

Sarutobi puffed on his pipe for a moment. "I'm sorry it had to come to this. I order you."

Tenma rose to his feet, elegant kimono arranged perfectly as he nodded. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Tenma," Hokage called out.

"Yes?"

"Impress him. You'll need to overwhelm him to really get to him."

"I'll try it my way first."

Naruto stopped, surprised.

It wasn't often you got people in fancy dress. Normally it only happened during festivals and when important people (like ninja from other villages!) came to visit. But here one was, in formal kimono.

"Naruto," the man asked, with a smile.

Naruto was blown away. Someone besides Hokage was smiling at him? "Uh, yeah?"

"My name is Tenma -- Hokage told me that you're the best person to ask," the man said, still smiling.

Ah, Naruto had him figured now -- polite until the moment Hokage dropped the watchers.

"Well, if you're sure," Naruto said cagily.

"Maybe we could discuss this over a meal," Tenma asked. He felt like an idiot, pretending to make friends with the demon. He was pretty sure that Hokage meant this as a final test of his ability -- to see if he could win over someone he hated, despite himself.

"Sure," Naruto said. Free stuff was not to be turned down. "Ramen okay with you?"

"Excellent," Tenma said. "I know a restaurant that does ramen to die for..."

Five bowls of ramen later, Naruto finally seemed to be slowing down to a speed where he could talk with his dinner guest as well as eat. "Sho wat did yer want (slurrrp) me for?"

Inwardly, Tenma's sense of elegance and politeness was horrified at this... brat's table manners. "You've become very famous for your ability to give chuunin and jounin the slip after one of your... pranks."

Naruto laughed out loud at this. It was an outgoing laugh, full bodied, and Tenma would have curled his lips upward were it not for his dislike for the child. "Not just anyone could do that -- I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm the future Hokage!"

Tenma forced himself to laugh, and made it appear natural. "Still... any chance you could tell me how you do it?"

Naruto frowned in suspicion. "You just want to tell them so they can catch me! I'm not stupid!"

Tenma held up a hand. "I swear that I'm not going to tell anyone but Hokage-sama what you tell me today."

"Well... if you're sure," Naruto said. "First thing is, they think I'm an idiot, so they don't pay too much attention..."

"So," Hokage said. "How was your day?"

"If it wasn't for the fact that I and everyone above ten or so know that he's the demon," Tenma said, "he'd easily be one of the most popular people in Konoha. He's got passion, has to be the world's biggest extrovert, and attracts people like flies to honey. That, combined with his appearance, and he's got the makings of one of the social alphas. It's unfortunate in that respect that he has the social skills of a stoned orang utan."

Hokage nodded, putting more tobacco into his pipe. "I see."

Tenma argued internally with himself for a while, before coming to a decision. "Hokage-sama, I and the rest of the village don't understand why you don't just execute the demon while he's trapped in a human form, before he grows up and turns on us."

"Naruto is Naruto, not the Ninetails," Hokage said with a sigh. "If anything, he is the demon's jailor. Naruto represents the chance to enslave the demon to work for us -- if we get his loyalty before all those stupid people cause him to hate Konoha."

"But--"

"Do you really think that Yondaime's son would turn on us," Hokage asked wearily. He truly tired of these arguments. "Kindly forget I said that last part, please."

Tenma's mouth was open, gaping as he internally processed what Hokage had said.

The demon was, in fact, the human son of Yondaime, and the one who jailed the Ninetails? Uzumaki Naruto was the one who tormented the demonic kitsune?

Hokage mentally chalked another point to him. Twice in his life now, he had seen Tenma lose his composure, and both occurances on the same day. "I see you understand, now."

"... yes," Tenma forced out. Viewed in that light... well, he wasn't going to hold Naruto up as an icon of the light, but he wasn't going to put him down. "When you said he was Yondaime's legacy..."

Hokage nodded. "If you're willing to take it up, I have an ongoing D-rank mission for you that will not conflict with existing priorities."

Naruto might have been a bit slow, but he was not stupid, and he soon realised that his talk with Tenma had been what turned things around.

He grinned up at the diplomat, hugging the scroll to his chest. "Thanks, Tenma-aniki!"

Tenma smiled evenly. His internal politician explained away cultivating Naruto as gaining a powerful ally, while his internal human knew that, at heart, Naruto was a good person. Unfortunately, his work took him away from Konoha quite a lot, so the D-rank mission of improving peoples' opinion of Naruto was going slowly, very slowly.

"That's a scroll of training methods from the Wind Country," he said. "We're not supposed to have it, so give it to Hokage-sama when you're done with it."