A/N: Oh look, an update! I do not own Hetalia. If I did, I would have some skill with art.

"Ok, a few things you're going to need to know to survive this school. Or rather, the people at this school. Hetalia's easy to survive once you get used to it. The people, not so much." Gilbert informed Matthew as he dragged him to the counter piled with food. "First, don't hit on Tino. Berwald will glare at you until you spontaneously combust. Don't hit on Feliciano. He will likely not understand you, but offer you pasta anyways and then not understand when Ludwig gets mad at you. Don't hit on Lovino, he'll swear at you and then Antonio will threaten you will his axe."

"His axe?" Matthew squeaked. He knew Gilbert was exaggerating about the spontaneously combusting thing, but he said axe with a straight face.

Gilbert nodded. "Yes, his axe. At Hetalia, everyone is proficient with at least one weapon. I'll tell you about everyone's weapons later. Right now, I'm telling you the things that you need to survive. The most important thing is never to doubt my awesomeness. I should have said that first."

Matthew just nodded, knowing he was going to ignore that order.

"Anyway, don't hit on Lilli, Vash will make good on his threat to shoot you. Uh, don't hit on Elizaveta, I've tried that, and her frying pan hurts. I hope you're not messed up enough to hit on your brother's boyfriend, but just to warn you, don't hit on Arthur. He'll try to curse you with black magic, it won't work, and Alfred will come and make it very clear why you should not flirt with his boyfriend. That's all I think, wait, there's more. Don't hit on Lukas, Soren will glare at you and then threaten you with his axe when Lukas isn't around. He wants to date Lukas, but Lukas tells him no whenever he asks Lukas to go out with him."
"Another person has an axe?" Matthew felt faint. He really did not like sharp metal objects.

"Yeah. Aren't you going to eat?"Gilbert questioned.

How could he act like this was normal? Matthew wondered. This was totally freaking him out.

"Uh, sure," He stammered in answer to Gilbert's question. He put fruit and cold cuts onto his plate, along with some bread.

"Usually, there is some hot dish for dinner, but since not everyone has arrived at school yet, they just set out sandwiches," Gilbert said through a mouth of bread.

Matthew nodded, spreading some mayonnaise on his sandwich to buy himself some time way from the table. And with Gilbert, his treacherous mind provided. Shaking his head firmly, he turned around, following Gilbert back to the table. He could only hope everything had calmed down.

Predictably, Gilbert was incapable of arriving quietly. "Yo, the awesome is here!" He exclaimed, bounded to the empty seat at the end of the table. Everyone looked like they could care less. They were still occupied with their various activities that Matthew did not want to see. He was about to go sit down far, far away from everyone else when someone (guess who?) grabbed his wrist.

"Birdie, why're you running away from the awesome? Sit by me." Gilbert commanded, pouting.

Matthew sighed and sat down next to Gilbert. He really needed to get better at saying no. Or maybe you wanted to sit by him, his treacherous mind whispered, causing him to choke. Gilbert pounded on his back, prattling on about choking and his awesomeness. Frankly, Matthew didn't want to know how they were connected. He took deep shuddering breaths, thankful for the air.

Matthew survived the meal somehow. Probably because he did his best to be unobtrusive. Alfred was busy talking to Arthur, who seemed to be insulting him and blushing. Matthew was glad he found someone who made him happy. He just wasn't sure why Arthur (who seemed sensible) was doing with Arthur.

Gilbert was talking to Antonio and Francis about a prank they were planning. Matthew did his best to ignore them. If they were caught, he was going to use the excuse of "plausible deniability" so he wouldn't be accused with them.

After dinner, Matthew was hoping he could just go to his room and collapse. Unfortunately, Gilbert had other ideas. He wanted to show Matthew the armory. Matthew knew it would be a good idea, especially since he (apparently) had to learn how to use a weapon. He couldn't say he was looking forward to that.

They walked to the armory, Matthew politely listening to Gilbert's rambling (it was pretty amusing). When they stepped into the armory, Matthew gasped at the largeness of it. It was as big a gym, and filled to the brim with weapons. They were all organized too. Matthew was lost. A voice interrupted his shocked thoughts.

"So Birdie, have you thought of what weapon you want to use?" Gilbert questioned.

Matthew shook his head 'no' quickly. Then shyly said, "What do you use?"

"I use the awesome broadsword of course!" Gilbert exclaimed. "Here I can show you it."

He went over to the wall and picked up a sword with ease. Matthew knew he probably wouldn't be able to lift that kind of sword. Gilbert brought it over to him.

"I'm one of the only ones who use a sword. The others don't." Gilbert explained.

"What do the other people use?" Matthew questioned, looking up at him.

Gilbert blushed (Matthew had no idea why) and stuttered, " Um, basically, most of them use guns. There are exceptions though. I think Arthur uses a crossbow. Elizaveta uses a frying pan. It's a lot more dangerous than it sounds. Do you have any idea what you want to use?"

Matthew shook his hand no, examining the sword in Gilbert's hand. He didn't think a sword would suit him, but he wasn't sure about a gun either. He wished he didn't have to choose anything.

"That's ok, you can think about it and decide later," Gilbert's voice broke through his thoughts. "We have all weekend before school starts."

Matthew just nodded, exhaustion and jet lag hitting him. He struggled to stay awake as Gilbert put his sword away. He vaguely remembered following Gilbert out of the armory, but he couldn't remember anything else when he woke up the next morning. He supposed that Gilbert must have carried him back. That was nice of him, Matthew thought. I'll have to thank him when he wakes up. Then he rolled over and promptly fell back asleep.