I do not own Twilight or any of its characters. It all belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

Chapter 6

I had settled into my life here with Maria, Nettie and Lucy. I had a job and I was good at it. Nettie and Lucy, however, were growing weary of this life. They despised Maria for being so controlling. I could feel their animosity toward her, whenever they walked in the room where she was. I feared something would come of this, though I kept it to myself. I was prepared just in case.

One day, Maria and I came in from recruiting. "Take this one to the room Nettie," she commanded.

"No, I will not, you do it," she retorted.

"Excuse me? Did I hear you right?" Maria was seething. "You dare disobey me?"

"Since when did you become the leader, Maria? We started this together; all three of us."

"You would be NO WHERE without me. I am the reason we have Texas. I am the reason you can go hunting wherever you want, without fear of trespassing on other's territories. Without me, you two would be nothing. You should be thanking me not disobeying me," she spat.

I could feel their anger build. They had had enough and they were going to do something about it right then. Lucy and Nettie both leapt for Maria in one movement. I was there to protect her. Between Maria and me, we finished them off in front of the newborns. This served as a lesson to them not to try to overturn Maria or me.

The frost came early that year. Being in Mexico, we didn't get much snow but it still got cold. We didn't notice it like humans, though. For us, it simply marked the passing of time. By the time winter set in that year, Mexico City invaded. They took nearly everything we fought so hard for. All our concurred lands were stolen from us just as quickly as we had stolen them from others. It was a horrible war we lived in. It was an ugly time to live, or exist, whatever it was we were doing.

When we were down to possessing only Monterrey, the fighting died off for us. It continued all around us though. Mostly it was vengeance fighting. Because of the war, so many mates were killed. Our kind doesn't forgive such a thing. The living mate would vow vengeance on the coven that killed their spouse. A battle would ensue and someone would win; but someone would also lose.

I was constantly surrounded by anger and hatred. They were the two prominent emotions in my life. There was sometimes sadness and others fear but mostly anger and hate. I was depressed. I must have been sending off my depression because Maria would insist on taking me out to hunt as a way to "cheer me up".

Hunting was probably the most difficult for me. I would hide in the shadows and wait. While waiting I felt a plethora of emotions. Usually excitement and happiness but that lasted only until I walked out of my hiding place. When the humans saw me, their emotions changed. If it were a woman, lust was overwhelming. If it were a man, I would get queasy with their jealousy. But no matter the gender, their emotions were laced with sheer terror. Human instincts told them I was bad news.

As I approached my victim, I could feel their emotions soaring. They were always the same in the end, they didn't want to die. I didn't want to kill them but I had to drink. I had to survive. I hated what I was. I hated that I was killing people. I hated that I was a murderer; a monster.

I confided in Maria about it, but she only laughed. "It is a natural thing, Jasper. It's nothing to feel remorse over. They are merely cattle. We are so much more. We are more powerful; we live longer. They are fragile, weak, diseased creatures whose only purpose is to quench our thirst," she reasoned. I didn't agree. I couldn't agree. We were defiantly the freaks in this world.

Several decades of this passed. I grew more depressed. Maria was bewildered. I decided to go out hunting one night, alone. I told Maria I needed some time by myself. She knew I probably wasn't going to hunt but decided to let me go alone anyway.

When I arrived in town, I wondered the streets. This was one of my only pastimes that kept my depression calmed, if only for the night. I chose my walking paths carefully. I walked away from the saloons, where the drunken, belligerent men harassed lonely whores. I tended to walk near the quiet homes with families sitting down for dinner or by the fire reading a book.

Love was the most powerful emotion. The only one still, that I felt penetrate walls of closed houses. This emotion I longed for was something I could only experience from the feelings of humans. My life was surrounded by war. I respected Maria but definitely didn't LOVE her. I didn't love the few females Maria created, but I couldn't bring myself to make any vampires. So I was alone, but I could always feel the love of these humans; this would be enough.

I got home just before dawn to find the new recruit ready for his explanation. Maria was already in there with him, so I joined her. When I walked in I saw him standing there staring at Maria. The usual emotions accompanied him: confusion, shock, disbelief etc.

"What's your name?" I asked him. I don't know why I did, it never meant much to me before. We would just be killing him in another year anyway.

"Peter." He stated.

"Welcome aboard. Let's get you acquainted with everyone else." We left the room. I let him talk to the others, as I never paid enough attention to them to know them. Like I said, they were just pawns.

Peter was proving to be a good recruit. His fighting skills were amazing and he was very agile; more than the usual vampire. His skills were still not as defined as mine were. Over time we became close friends. He was twenty-three years old, almost as tall as me and had long white-blond hair. He grew up in El Paso. His parents died at a young age leaving him orphaned since he was five. Maria found him traveling south and thought he would be a nice addition to our small, but well organized army.

He fought with us in protecting our territory. He didn't like the fighting but he did it well. He was more civilized than the other newborns. I suppose this is what made him a comfort to talk to. We hunted together sometimes. I still had to hunt with Maria on occasion or she would become jealous. There were still times I claimed to go hunting so I could have my moment of peace. No one knew exactly what I was doing on those trips and I never told anyone.

Peter was reaching his one year mark before I realized the time had passed. "What would you do with him, Jasper?" Maria asked me.

"I don't know. You are the one who makes those decisions," I told her. She was concealing something but I wasn't sure what it was. I didn't know if she was testing me or if she was truly asking my opinion of his skills.

"Well, I am asking for your input," she stated. "I would like to know what you think of his skills."

"I think his skills are strong and his body remains strong even with the newborn strength fading. I mean he still isn't as good as me but who is." I threw in the last part to lighten the conversation. She giggled.

"I think I would like to keep him. He is promising. I also think you need to be relieved of some of your duties with the newborns. I would like you to have a bit of time to yourself. You are always so blue. Give him your job as babysitter and you can be in charge of him. That way you are still numero uno and he can have a lasting career." She was allowing me to keep my friend. I felt kindness from her and was relieved that I wouldn't have to destroy him.

I took him for a walk to explain everything to him. I explained how after a year we destroyed newborns because of their diminishing strength, but he was the exception. I told him what his new duties were and what he would be helping me do in the near future. There were still newborns to destroy and I would have his help from now on.

Time passed. More seasons changed; more war, more destruction, more depression. Peter helped me with my duties while he kept the newborns from killing each other. That alone was a full-time job. Peter needed to assist me once again. We had yet another set of newborns to purge. Peter had helped me plenty with this chore, but for some reason this time he was trying to get me to keep some of them.

"This next one is still very strong. I think we could use him for a while longer," he told me.

"No, newborn strength surpasses his strength easily; he goes," I said. He brought him in and I took care of him, and another.

He came to me with another petition. "I- um… I think we could use Salazar. His fighting skills are very good."

"No, our fighting skills are a hundred times better than his are, just send him in already." He did though he had a horrible look on his face. His emotions were that of concern and fear. I didn't understand why he was having such a hard time with this. He had helped me many times in the past. This was no different. He sent in another two without grievance. But the last one proved to be the real issue.

"Um… Jasper, I… um… I-." I cut him off right there. "Maria said kill them all. None were to survive and that is what we are going to do. Just send her in."

"Jasper I-I… I just…"

"Peter, do you need me to take care of it by myself? Go ahead, leave I g-." he cut me off with his rage. "RUN CHARLOTTE!!!" he yelled. With that he was out the door with her and gone. I didn't know if he was going to come back. How could I not notice how strong their affections were before? I mean, sure I noticed they cared for each other. But when did it become more than that? Ugh, Maria was not going to be happy about this.