It's dark and I'm lost. I'm so terrified my body is shaking. There are tears running down my cheeks and my lower lip is trembling. I look around for someone, anyone to help me. That's when I see her.
This tall, dirty blonde, statuesque woman is standing about four feet away from me. Her emerald green eyes meet mine, causing the fear to slowly melt away.
"RAPTOR RUN!" A familiar voice yells.
Turning around I see a olive skinned girl with gray eyes and long dark brown hair, which is pulls back into a braid. She has on worn-out clothes. There is a well made bow in her hand. The girl draws a arrow then loads the bow and aiming it at me. Before she can shoot a husky man with a lustrous gold Mohawk steps up behind her and grabs her. He's shirtless so I can see all of his muscles damn near ripping out of his skin as he squeezes her. There is a mischievous look in his ice cold blue eyes.
"Raptor behind you!" She yells as loud as she can with his tree trunk like arms around her.
Turning I see the woman running at me with a sword. It has barbs on both sides of the edge that are moving rapidly. She lets out a psychotic laugh that sends shivers down my spine. I step back causing me to step on a fairly large rock and loose my balance, so I'm sitting on my butt. This causes her to let out a louder, more genuine, laugh as she slows to a walk.
"MOMMY PLEASE!" I beg as I try to crawl away.
Suddenly my head is wrenched back by a powerful hand. It's another man but he's not as tall or big as the first, though he is still imposing.
"Pathetic." He says as he roughly pu go of my hair.
Another hand grabs my chin, it belongs to a lean woman with long golden blond hair and eyes as cold as the first two men. There's a smirk on her face but it's not soothing at all.
"It's nothing personal Raptor but you'll never be apart of our family." She says.
I look back at the first woman causing fresh tears to fall from my emerald eyes as they lock with my mother's cold ones.
"I should have killed you a long time ago." She says.
Her voice is like shards of dry ice cutting through my eardrums. It somehow manages to freeze and burn my soul all at once.
"Mommy please...I love you." I sob.
She stands over me and smiles.
"To bad cause I don't love you."
"NOOOOOO!" I shout as she thrusts the blade into my chest.
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I jerk upright as my eyes snap open. My hands move to my chest while I desperately gasp for air. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. It was just a dream.
With a shake of my head I throw off my covers and sit so that my feet are on the floor. My shaky hands run through my disheveled hair as I focus on my breathing. I have to calm down, it was just a dream. A really fucked up dream. Think about something else, something happy.
I try to rack my brain for something to take my mind off of this but I can't. It's like nothing can sooth my anxiety. I guess none of my memories are happy enough to drive away the terrible dream.
Oh well today is the first day of training so I guess I can use it. Standing up I walk into the bathroom.
"Hot water on." I order as I strip off what little clothes I have on.
"Stop."
The tub stops filling so I step in and grab the bar of soap and luffa. I scrape at my skin till it's red and damn near blistered. It's weird but the pain feels good, like a sort of emotional release. That's actually kind of sick but so is this situation.
"Water drain." I order while getting out.
Like yesterday I'm assaulted by an intense blast of air while robotic hands lather me in lotion. Once I'm all lathered and deodorized I head to my massive closest. As I walk I notice a pile of clothes on top of my dresser. Stopping I pick them up and lay each item out on my bed. There is a pair of tight black pants, a compression tank top, a long-sleeved burgundy tunic, and leather shoes. I slip each on then exit my room.
It's still dark out so no one is awake. Not really knowing what to do with myself I walk to the kitchen. Ever since I can remember I've been in the kitchen. At first I just watched but when I was four my gran started to actually teach me how to cook. Now it's just what I do when I'm stressed, angry, board it doesn't matter. Looking through the cabinets I find plenty of ingredients to cook with. The question is what should I make.
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I'm not sure how long I've been cooking for but I have made a lot. The Avoxs tried to stop me but I threatened to beat them to death with a skillet. So they just started setting up the table and putting the food on plates and trays.
"What are you doing?" A sweet voice asks.
Turning I see Katniss in an outfit just like mine.
"Cooking, it helps me relax. Go on and eat."
She gives me a skeptical look but still eats. Since I've been tasting all this food I'm pretty full.
"Wow this is really good, where did you learn how to cook? And how'd you know how to make Capitol food?"
"My gran and the Mellarks taught me. As for the food, well, the recipes are simple to follow." I state as I pull a ham out of the oven.
As soon as I set it on the counter the Avox boy puts it on a platter and then set it on the table. A silence falls over the room as I get back into my cooking groove.
🎶 I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Maybe I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Maybe there's a god above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And it's not a cry you can hear at night,
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"That was beautiful." Katniss says.
"Thanks my gran always sang that when she cooked. Sometimes when I get really into cooking or I'm just feeling lonely I sing it and it's like she's with me."
"That's so sweet." A gruff voice says sarcastically.
I don't have to turn around to know that it's Haymitch.
"Did you make all of this?" He asks.
"Yup." I reply.
"Why?" He digs while making a plate.
"It helps me release stress without hurting someone." I state as I turn off all the burners and the stove.
I'm sure I've made enough food to feed everyone. Grabbing my extra large Salted Triple Caramel Cupcake and a goblet of milk I join the two at the table. This cupcake is really special because my gran created the recipe. It's a caramel and brown sugar cupcake filled with a thick salted caramel sauce, with salted caramel frosting. I absolutely love it but I never got to eat them often, just on reaping days. When my gran died I started making them myself to keep the tradition alive. Then I was forced to work in the mines. After seeing all the suffering there I started hunting meat for the Seams. By that point I was always too tired to make any.
Now seems like a good time to have one. Smirking I pick it up then take a bite. It tastes amazing, like usual. Between each bite I take a sip of milk till I find both my hand and cup empty. Haymitch takes a flask from his pocket then takes a large gulp. Closing it he slips it back in his pocket. With a relatively excited expression he leans his elbows on the table.
"So, let's get down to business. Training. First Katniss give me some idea of what you can do other than playing with a knife." Haymitch says.
"I can hunt with a bow and arrow." The girl answers.
"And you're good?" He asks.
She pauses to think about it for a second then she says, "I'm alright."
"She's excellent." I pipe causing both of them to look at me.
"I've been watching her hunt for the past ten years. the girl's can arrows never pierce the body. She hits the eye every time. Katniss can get squirrels, rabbit, wild dog, hell she's even brought down a deer." I inform.
"What are you doing?" Katniss asks me suspiciously.
"What are you doing? If he's going to help you, he has to know what you're capable of. Don't underrate yourself."
"What about you and your skills?" She asks pointedly.
"And what exactly are my skills, Katniss?" I ask.
She ponders my question for quite sometime then says, "You're invisible. You have been watching me for ten years and I never noticed you before. Plus no one notices that you work in the mine and you also hunt."
"It's easy to be invisible in district 12, no one cares about me there, here everyone is watching me." I state.
"Well your grandmother, who raised you, was a victor so she probably prepped you for this."
"My grandma died before I could be reaped how much do you think she taught me?"
Quite a bit actually but Katniss and Haymitch don't know all that.
"You can hunt, just like me." She says smugly.
"No I don't, well not really, I just hunt on the side for the butcher and peacekeepers." I lie.
Hmm I'm actually a really great liar.
"Besides Haymitch doesn't truly care about me. I saw my dad here yesterday, I know what's going on." I state changing the subject.
"What do you mean, what's going on?" Katniss asks.
I look at Haymitch then say, "Tell her."
"His parents contacted me last night, after you two went to sleep. They will both be personally training Raptor, it's a Herveaux family tradition." He says.
"Oh."
"Yeah which is why, when in public, I want you by each other's side every minute. Hopefully some of his Herveaux pull can help you to. Now get out. Meet Effie at the elevator at ten for training."
Katniss gets up and storms to her room. I stand up and follow the path she took then walk into her room.
"What do you want?" She asks harshly.
"To help you." I state honestly.
"Why?"
"You don't know?" I ask.
"Know what?"
"Why I helped you when you were eleven?"
The mention of that event causes her to soften. Katniss thinks about this for a moment then shakes her head.
"No I have no clue."
"Well, untill you figure it out I'm gunna keep helping you. So once we get in the training room I'm gunna teach you how to throw a punch. Hopefully some basic hand to hand combat skills will help you."
The girl looks up at me, her skeptical eyes search for a glimmer of malice. There isn't any to find because I don't hate her, I love her.
"I'll meet you down stairs." I say before exiting her room.
I walk back into the dining area where Haymitch is still eating. Sitting back in my original seat I watch the man. His eyes meet my cold ones for a brief second then he looks back at his plate.
"This is good, who taught you how to cook?" He asks in an attempt to make small talk.
"What did they say?" I ask in a cold tone.
"They said that I won't be working with you, they will. Tigris explained that they all have a special talent-"
"Wait, they all, who is they ALL?"
"Your parents, siblings, uncles, and aunts. From what I gathered your mom specializes in swordsmanship. Your dad specializes in wrestling and hand to hand combat. Gloss is the same so you get two strength trainers. Your uncle, Remus, was an expert tracker and his twin brother Craven is an expert marksman. Your other uncle, Markus, is an explosions expert as is his wife, Neon. Remus's husband, Bully, is an expert trapper. Craven's wife Silver is known for her ability to make a weapon out of anything. Cashmere and Gloss's wife, Amethyst, will be training you in the art of charming sponsors." He says.
"...How the hell is anyone supposed to keep up with all that in Such short time?"
"That's what I asked. Your dad said it's none of my business, apparently you're not my responsibility."
I nod then take in the info. So they expect me to work with eleven victors to master demolition, swordsmanship, creating weapons on the fly, wrestling, charming sponsors, marksmanship, tracking, and trapping. Are they fuckin crazy? One why would they think that I would ever want to work with them after they abandoned me and didn't show up to gran's funeral. Two what makes them think I don't know any of that shit already. Three what makes them think I even want their help.
"Oh you're already down here, perfect, where is Katniss?" Effie asks.
As if on cue Katniss walks into the room. The actual training rooms are below ground level of our building so we have to get on the elevator. It's so fast the ride is less than a minute. The doors open into an enormous gymnasium filled with various weapons and obstacle courses. Although it's not ten yet, we're the last ones to arrive. The other tributes are gathered in a tense circle. They each have a cloth square with their district number on it pinned to their shirts. While someone pins the number 12 on my back, I do a quick assessment.
Everyone is watching me. It's so weird and annoying, I don't like it when people stare at me. Out of the corner of my eye I see the woman from my dream, my so called mother. Her eyes are kind and she gives me a subtle wave. I want to look away from her but I can't. Flashes of my nightmare swirl in my head bringing feeling with anger and fear. My hands tremble as they close into tight fist. Every muscle in my body starts to tense.
A soft hand wraps around my fist and a thumb starts to rub the back of my hand. Looking down I see Katniss's hand holding my fist. She doesn't look at me and her face is indifferent as usual, but her thumb keeps rubbing the back of my hand. Unclenching my fist I lace my fingers through her's. Effie steps forward and places her hand on my shoulder then squeezes lightly. This prevents me from seeing my mom and is actually soothing to me.
The head trainer, a tall, athletic woman steps up and begins to explain the training schedule. I tune her out and go back to watching my fellow tributes. The careers seem oddly pleased for some reason and they are no longer looking at me. However I still feel eyes on me so look around the circle. My eyes fall on young girl from district 11.
Her golden eyes watch me curiously. Looking at her, in person, I can't help but notice how tiny she is and how cute she is. She's like this baby fawn I saw in the woods once. I can't kill this kid, she's to innocent and adorable.
Katniss squeezes my hand causing me to look at her.
"Come on we're going to the knot station. By the way you should wipe away those tears before they dry." She says.
Nodding I follow her to an empty station where the trainer seems pleased to have students. I don't bother to wipe my eyes because it makes me look weak, which is exactly what I want.
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"LUNCH TIME!" Atlas calls causing everyone to stop.
Katniss looks at me then at something behind me. Turning I see eleven people watching me. Four I recognize as my parents and siblings. Beside them is a tall and lean man with long hair that's been died a vibrant blue color. Next to him is a man that looks exactly like him, only his hair is short and brown. I'm guessing they are my twin Uncles, Remus and Craven.
"So where do you want to sit?" She asks while pulling me into an adjoined room.
"I don't know. Lets get our plates first cause I'm starving." I state
She nods so we walk over to one of the food carts. I load my plate with the biggest piece of stake I can find. Around that I add mashed potatoes, corn, breaded chicken, and spaghetti with meatballs and tomato sauce.
"Wow that's a lot, can you eat all that?" Katniss asks.
"Yeah."
She nods then leads the way to a table in the corner. I sit with my back against the wall and Katniss sits right beside me. Looking down I start to dig into my food. It's really good but the stake could use more salt.
"Raptor."
I sit up straight as a shiver runs down my spine. That voice, it's just so...so soft and inviting. It's like the softest spring breeze caressing wind chimes. There's this natural honey sweet thickness to it that makes my heart clench in the most painful of ways. My jaw clenches as I stare into my own eyes.
"Do I know you?" I ask in a cold tone, well at least I hope it sounds cold.
She seems taken aback by the question so I answer it for her, "No you don't and you're not my mentor so why don't you go FUCK OFF YOU EVIL BITCH!"
Her eyes widen with shock as she takes a step back. Our eyes lock so I try to convey all the hate I feel for her. However, as I stare into her somber eyes, I feel things that I haven't...that I promised myself I wouldn't. I can feel my throat closing up as tears well up in my eyes. These reflexive emotions fill me with rage.
"Leave me alone." I growl before walking away.
I wish my voice was stronger and I wish my emotions were weaker. With a sigh I walk to the elevator and press the up.
"Hey, where are you going?" Katniss as she jogs up behind me.
"Back to the kitchen, you can train in my private gym."
"Only if you work out with me."
The doors open as I look at her. She walks onto the elevator then gestures for me to join her. Stepping on I turn so I'm face the room. My heart sinks when my eyes meet my mother's sullen ones.
That pain isn't real. She doesn't love you. The only thing they care about is their name. She doesn't love you. She doesn't love you.
With a sigh I lean against the wall and close my eyes. I hope I never see her again.