Chapter 5

"What the hell are you doing here?" I whispered fiercely.

"What the hell was that about?" Ryuu asked, bewildered.

"I was…invited."

"That's not what I am talking about…" he spat.

I sighed. "Hitsugaya-taichou… doesn't like you." That was all I could think of what to say at this moment. "Come here away from the doors. I need to talk to you, and I don't want someone wandering into our conversation." I led him outside to the back of the building.

"What did I do?" He asked while I hesitated on how to explain.

"You-" are a blood-sucking leech, who's a disgrace to your own kind- didn't do anything wrong," I took a deep breath to choose my next words carefully, because this was probably the closest thing I ever had to a true friendship.

"But I need you to leave me alone." I kept the pain from my voice. "I can't keep continuing this double life, I want you to stay away from me, don't talk to me, don't come near me, and don't even look at me."

"If that's how you feel," he answered, his voice cooler than a moment ago, though I could still hear hurt in it. I've hidden enough of my own emotions so I understand that you're trying to do the same.

"I am sorry."

"Don't be you aren't the first to turn me down, and you probably won't be the last."

"I don't want you getting hurt, Shiki-kun." He shrugged, turning away, as if it didn't matter. "Is it because you're now under the surveillance of a pure blood? But you should know, it's harder to do than one might think letting things go." he answered bitterly. I shook my head; the tears wishing to fall. "It's not like that."

I can't leave you like this, not without understanding; I don't want you hurt because of me…

"Ryuu, turn around."

"I'll be leaving. I won't bother you."

"Look at me!" He turned around, his face completely neutral except for a hint of anger behind his eyes.

"What?" His voice was cold, controlled but very different from the Shiki-kun I once knew. I wonder when you learnt how to show nothing of thoughts, nothing of feelings.

"It isn't you." I said quietly. My hands trembled as I gritted my teeth while my heart was being turn to pieces. Must not cry.

"It isn't who you are…and it isn't even what you are. Well, in a way it is, but…" I was beginning to sound like an idiot, I knew, but the necessary words just weren't coming. "It's not what you are; well it's not what any of you are. It's what I am."

He started to ask a question, and then paused.

"Shiki-kun…I am not like you. I am a regular mortal warm blooded shinigami; I am only a burden to those who exist like you, those who will tend to thirst for me."

"I don't care if you're nothing like the rest of us, you're still Hinamori Momo."

In answer, I drew the kunai knife I had hidden beneath the peach ribbon behind my back; the moon glinting off its silver hilt. "I am still a shinigami."

He swore under his breath and I smiled wryly. "And I still have to do what's right to protect myself."

Now he looked at me with a small amount of scepticism, which was the last thing I expected. "You? But you're…."

I sheathed my knife telling him that I was no threat to him, yet. "I am what?"

"I've met a lot of hunters during my time Momo…." He raised his hand, gestured vaguely. "You're not one of them nor do you seem like the type."

Stepping forward, I spread my right hand flat against his chest and my left over his throat, pushing him back into the wall.

Shock filled Ryuu's features, but then he said, "Your knife is still on your back and if this was a real fight, we both know I could kill you before you could reach it."

I closed my right hand, drawing his attention to its position above his non-beating heart, and then moved it to the wall.

I moved my left hand from the wall, then with my mind I reached out to concentrate my reitsu and a blaze of light flashed from my index finger. Slicing two inches into the wood paneling of the wall inches away from Ryuu's head.

"Don't underestimate me, Ryuu."

"Are you going to kill me, Momo?" he asked but there was no fear in his voice just an edge of anger. He was getting defensive, trying not to let his hurt show. I recognized his anger much less painful to feel than sorrow.

"I am not going to kill you. I don't want any of them to."

"I can take care of myself." He's so fearless; he doesn't seem the least bit worried.

"Meaning what? If any of the others were to attack you, you'd kill them? There's no good situation here, except for you to leave me alone. I am not your type."

"And neither is he, Momo I don't care who you are," he repeated. I've taken a much worse threat than this, I even have scars, but I am still alive. If someone attacks me, I leave. That's how I've survived for more than fifty years."

I flinched. Then how the hell did you end up here?

The question was shoved from my mind as I processed the comment about 'fifty years.' According to the story earlier today, every vampire was easily three times as old as they appeared to be. I bit back my questions, and focused on the issue at hand.

"Ryuu, maybe you don't care, but I do."

"You're a fukutaicho you've disobeyed the law before many times before. What's the worst that could happen now?" The question was shocking naïve. Images of my previous captain's betrayal and my betrayal against those I cared for flashed before my eyes.

'The worst? Ryuu, you don't understand. I've befriended a vampire who's already threatened my life, if I continue to be with you there's a chance that it'll happen again. Not only that I've done more than enough haven given you that blood tube. It's against the rules of vampires to transform another being plus it's against the rules for me to even be around your kind."

"I wouldn't hurt you again Momo, plus about your last statement that's not possible now because you've already broken that rule haven been in a room full of vampires."

"They haven't done anything to hurt me." I whispered.

"Not yet, they haven't." he snapped. Still not understanding.

"I trust them. But that still doesn't mean I won't fight back, or else that would be the same as them killing me."

"I won't let them change you Momo." He whispered. I was taken back by the turn of our conversation. "It's not like that."

"Is that why you want me to stay away from you because you 'assume' your precious friends won't hurt you?" The question sunk deep with a hint of pain.

I paused only for a moment. "They'll kill you if you they see you with me again. Maybe you're willing to risk that but I am not. I would need to defend myself, so if you come at me again. I'll have to act."

For an instant, some trick of shadow combined with my guilt made him look not like a friend who had been betrayed but like an enemy who had been wronged.

"Fine," he answered but now his voice was like a steel door closing on some of the best times I ever had.

As soon as Ryuu was out of sight, I ran from the Central 46 Chamber. Once I could no longer run I leaned against the wall my heart pounding in my chest and my hands were trembling; as soon as I noticed, the movement ceased. I closed my eyes and slid down to the ground, the stillness of the night was making everything seem so empty; the air was crisp and cold enough to see my breath.

I sat there for an extra couple of minutes deliberating whether or not just to stay and freeze, but my body kept on rejecting the cold as parts of it kept on twitching. Annoyed I got kicked of my heels not bothering to pick them up and walked all the way back to my room. My feet were killing me but my cold wooden floors eased the pain. I gazed at myself in the mirror and threw the mask that was strapped around me neck onto the floor; I paused as I ran a finger along the diamond pendant hanging off the silver chain, even in the pitch darkness it sparkled. I gritted my teeth and bit my lip as I wrapped my fingers around the chain and ripped it from my neck.

I stripped off the dress and left it on the floor as I slide my door shut I went and fell back onto my bed only in a matching pair of bra and panty. I wrapped myself in my silky white sheets as I finally let my tears flow freely as I silently cried and muffled my screams into my pillow. I cried myself dry as I lay in bed as the darkness engulfed everything in the room. It wasn't until I saw a shadow pause by my door then turn to leave, I shot up. The first movement I made in the last half in hour. I tip-toed out of bed and slipped on my kosode and slowly slid open my door. I popped my head out and looked from left to right down the empty corridor. An emerald green box was placed perfectly in front of me, and bent down to pick it up inside of it was the pair of white heels I had left behind. Along with it a note – It doesn't have to be this way…but you make it seem like you need me, but the one Momo needs isn't me.

It wasn't signed so I couldn't tell who it was from but that person had asked someone to drop it off along with the green box from Hitsguaya-kun. I guess he wants the stuff back.

I went back inside this time turning on the lights; I picked up the dress and cleaned it off along with the mask. Then I looked at the necklace on my dresser, and frowned. I slipped it into my pocket then I combed my hair out and tied my kosode then I was walking through the corridors of Seireitei. I arrived to my destination with no lights on. Maybe he's not back yet. But then I heard shuffling inside. I couldn't see anything since it was dark outside, plus my vision wasn't exactly perfect. The shuffling inside got a little louder then I heard a light 'smack' like someone had playfully hit another on their head. Then someone giggled. A girl.

"Ouch! That hurts!" the girl whispered then giggled again.

"Sorry…" I didn't have to tell who it was even though I couldn't clearly hear his voice. At first I froze with shock, then I began to back away but the floor boards creaked.

"What?"

"Hm?" the girl murmured. "Is someone there?"

Shit! I tip-toed around the corner just in time to hear the door open and I silently kept on walking. Then I began sprinting once I hit the next corner I flicked my head back as I landed on a building only in time to see a figure emerge from the corner I just fled from. I was back in my room breathing heavily feeling the same way I felt after my conversation with Ryuu but somehow this time I felt worse as if my heart was about to die out any time now. I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall. Why am I so worked up about this?! God! Damn it!

I closed as I began to silently sob for the second time in the past hour. Afterwards I took a few deep breaths to clam myself down before I headed to mourn some more in my bed. But that wasn't until I felt a presence at my door, with my back still towards it I slowly slid the covers over me as I pretended to be asleep.

"Hinamori open the door." Hitsugaya whispered. Go away! I wanted to screamed but it was better having him know I was asleep. "I am coming in." I heard the door slide open, I never heard it close nor did I hear him approach my bed. I kept evenly breathing as I tried to relax my posture but at points my body was too stiff. I felt him sit by my legs, my body was getting warm as I knew he was watching me or for any change of expression in my face. I rolled over the face the door as my legs accidentally kicked him but my eyes were still closed, posture still relaxed and I was still 'asleep.' I felt his weight disappear from the end of my bed. Please go…please go.

I didn't know when to open my eyes because his entrances and exits were always dead silent but not once did I take the chance to open my eyes even if he was gone. But then he wasn't as I felt his hand on my right shoulder. I began to get warm as the blood began to rush from my feet to my head, but before he could tell the change in my temperature he lifted his hand. So far so good!

It felt uncomfortable as I tried to keep my eyelids from wavering. I knew he was still watching me. There was a lump of air gathering in my throat.I have to swallow! But before I could I felt his cold hand on my neck. Ouch! I shot out of bed smacking his arm away in the process as I stared at him in shock.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I screamed.

"Hinamori calm down, you're bleeding." He whispered while signalling to keep my voice down.

What?My hand flew to my neck then on my palm was a thin line of blood.How the hell did that get there? I could feel it spread out across my neck. Hitsguaya narrowed his eyes at me.

"What did you do with the necklace?" he asked. My eyes widened, then I slipped my hand into my pocket and I pulled out the necklace I examined it. I couldn't see any line of blood on the chain then I ran to my mirror and examined my neck. Around the back was a thin pink line from the necklace where I had ripped it off and on the right side of my neck was the freshly bleeding wound. I whipped around as I kept my hand on the wound.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I am fine, it's not hard to clean plus I don't think you shouldn't keep your friend waiting. So you should leave."

His expression went beyond confusion, and then his eyebrows lifted only for a moment.

"I just went to drop off what I borrowed from last night." It was currently 1:30am.

He sighed. "It's not what you think; someone was injured during the dance so I helped her clean her wound."

That didn't make anything less relieving it only made my face go in repulsion. "Trust me. It's nothing like 'that' plus even though I am…you know. I still have the ability of a normal shinigami."

He doesn't drink blood purposely. I felt the blood run through my fingers. I stared at my hand. Hitsugaya disappeared from view then he was in front of me holding a white cloth against my neck.

"Hold it in place." He left as I heard the water running, he came back with a bowl full of water and then we began to clean my wound.We finished cleaning it and then he helped me place a bandage on it. I looked down at the bowl of water now a light red. I grimaced.

"The neck holds a lot of blood." he murmured.

I went to sit down on my bed as he went to clean out the bowl. I felt a sticky moisture on my hand. I forget to wash my hand. I waited until Hitsugaya came out and then I walked passed him well tried.

"I need to clean my hand." I whispered as I kept it hidden under my left elbow. I tried to clean it the best I could but there was still small amounts of dried blood on my fingertips. I came out as I saw him spread out on my bed like a statue with his hands behind his head.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"I am fine but right now I think I need to sleep." He gracefully got up from my bed and moved so I could sit but he caught my 'right' hand and I froze.

"You didn't clean it very well." He whispered unsatisfied. He kept on eyeing my hand. "Are you okay?" I gulped.

"Hm…why wouldn't I be?" he said in a low seductive voice. I felt a slight jolt of panic. I felt him approach me. My right hand twitched as he raised it to his face spreading my fingers out. His gaze never left mine as he began to graze his nose against my hand until my fingers touched his lip he then slid his gaze to my fingers. I bit my lip and stiffened as I felt the tip of my index and middle finger between his lips, it was only for a moment did I feel his tongue along them; it went by so fast that I didn't realize he had licked all my fingers clean. He dropped my hand and I stood there in shock. I was shaking as my left hand squeezed my right arm. My lip was trembling; I wasn't sure if I was afraid or if I was in shock, maybe both?

I stared at him as I gave him a wryly smile. He only smirked as if he was completely fine with what just happened. He moved closer finally closing that gap between us as he wrapped his arms around me. I froze as I slowly grasped his captain's cloak trying to push him away. I felt him retreat a little as I lifted my head up to look at him. I gulped as I felt the blood rushing through my body making me warm yet again as my heart was pounding inside my chest. I felt his gaze burning into me even when I felt his breath fanning across my face and then everything was still as if there was no time or space between us. His lips softly grazed mine only for a moment then he retreated, I opened my eyes, our noses almost touching. I moved as if in trance as my hand grasped the hair at the back of his head then I was kissing him again. First softly teasing and then our movements were getting rougher as our passion for each other grew deeper. I had never been kissed, really kissed before, however as far as first kisses went… like all of Hitsugaya's skills, his kisses were expertly done.

Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed it & thank you for reading and reviewing! The end is not even close ;)