First of all, I have to thank you so much for the great reviews, you guys are really the best. Now, this update is basically two chapters made into one. The first half of it will be a bit different so I'll ask you to please bear with me (I suck at writing dialogue, day to day occurrences AND kids), but if you manage to get pass that, I promise that the second part will be a bit better ;)
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The house was quiet. The only sound her ears could detect was that of the rain softly knocking on the crystal panes of her bedroom windows and as she lay with her eyes closed and hugging one of her pillows to her chest, Regina couldn't help but to draw into her lungs a deep breath.
She liked it when it rained, there wasn't probably a soul living in all the worlds combined that knew that about her but in her mind there was just something oddly romantic about it that she always found appealing to all her senses.
The scent of it, the cold breeze it would lift in the air so it could swirl like a lovers' caress against one's skin, the way it could clean everything it touched to wash all the impurities away…
She plain and simply liked everything about it and in that particular morning, she desired nothing but to be snuggled in bed while listening to the rain fall.
Would doing that be wise? Regina blinked her eyes open, the warm brown orbs trying to focus in the poor lighted room of her bedroom. Her vision was blurry and fuzzy and as she stared though heavy eyelids at the open door of her master ensuite, she decided that wise or not, she was going to stay there until she could.
It wasn't like she had anything better to do anyway so dragging the heavy comforter over her head she rolled over to the other side, closed her eyes again and dozed off.
It was a long while after that when her slumber was interrupted; always a light sleeper, she heard something move inside her bedroom and startled, she fluttered her eyes open, pushed the comforter away, sat up in bed and looked around.
Whatever or whoever was in her bedroom had caught her by surprise and that could never be a good thing. No, even half asleep and not functioning at her full capacity, she was very aware that in a world where she couldn't keep count of her enemies with one hand, she should never allow her defenses to go down.
Not even when she thought she was safe.
But now she did just that, as she couldn't even force her brain to think straight on what to do. "Who's there?" She said at last, her voice sounding as groggy as she felt.
"Mom?"
In her disorientation, she heard the familiar voice before her sleepy eyes could find him and running a hand through her messy hair, she blinked in confusion several times. "Henry?"
He turned on the lights, blinding her for a few seconds, and before she could register in her brain what was going on, she saw her son and her lips curved into a genuine smile.
"What are you still doing in bed?" Henry was frowning as he walked over to her and Regina just looked at him.
"I… was sleeping;" She replied while smoothing her hair. "What are you doing here?"
And that was indeed the question of the day. It didn't even cross her mind to question herself about the fact that it was a rare occurrence that she slept until late or that she has been doing so for the last week or so. No, all she could think about was that she hadn't seen the boy for over four days. It also came into her mind that all the encounters that had taken place before had been because Regina made sure that they would happen and not because he came in to check on her.
Sometimes she would go to his school and wait until he got out so that she could walk with him, other times she would search him out at the park and other times when his absence was too hard to endure, she would even go to The Charming's house to invite him out for a while.
But now it was this, it was basically the first time in a long while that he was the one going to her and the realization made her feel a mixture of feelings.
"You didn't come to Granny's this morning and I started to worry. Emma dropped me by."
Opening her mouth to reply and then closing it shut, Regina tilted her head to the side and blinked rapidly. Apparently her brain was still half asleep because she couldn't understand why Henry had expected her to be at Granny's.
As if reading her thoughts, Henry sighed out. "It's Saturday; we always have breakfast at Granny's on Saturday."
Remembering and sucking in a breath, Regina got out of bed fast and tried to make it into her bathroom. "You are right, I'm sorry, I guess I forgot what day it was. I'll tell you what, I'll get a quick shower and then we are going to have some breakfast."
Before she could go any further, Henry grabbed her hand and made her turn around so that she could face him. "It's already past noon, mom. You never forget, and you never sleep until late so what's going on?"
"Is it noon already?" Trying to play it light, Regina smiled and reached forward to brush the hair out of his forehead. She liked that he was there; and even if she wouldn't admit it because her guilt of having forgotten was stronger, it touched her heart that he was worried about her. "I'm sorry that I worried you, I guess I just lost track of time."
"Yeah but it's not just that; you never go out anymore and no one has seen you around in more than a week. I haven't seen you in forever." He kept pressing. "I worry about you."
"You shouldn't; I'm the mom, let me be the one worrying."
"I want you to see Archie." He blurted out and his grip in her hand got stronger, almost as if he has been expecting for her to pull away. And she wanted to do that, to pull away and turn from him so that she could take a moment away from his eyes. It was stupid, she was being stupid, but it was just that quite honestly the last thing in the world she wanted was to see Dr. Hopper so that she could pour her black heart out.
"Henry…" She began to say. "I don't… I'm fine, everything is fine."
"Don't lie to me, mom. Look, just talk to Archie once, I know he has helped you before so he can do it again. Just once and if it doesn't work I won't ask you ever again. Please, please, please."
Lifting a hand to her forehead and then dragging in down her face, Regina closed her eyes. "Alright, I'll talk to him. But just because you asked to." Yeah, she could make it light, just talk about the usual… about things he already knew and that was it.
She didn't have to tell him everything that was going on through her mind and heart, right?
Musing about that, her eyes were still closed when she felt him hugging her and taken aback by the gesture, she bit on her lips and reciprocated the embrace.
"Thanks. I already talked to Archie and he said he would be happy to see you."
Taking in a deep breath and taking notice that her son was getting too tall, she pressed her lips to his hair and breathed into his boyish scent. "And when is this meeting supposed to take place?"
Pulling away and smiling, Henry shrugged. "In half an hour?"
"Henry-"
"And after you talk to him we'll get to spend the day together." He said brightly and to Regina's eyes that was manipulation.
"All day long, I won't take less than that." She said with a shrug because two could play that game.
"Deal." He rolled his eyes and she moved her hand to his face.
"Alright then; let me get dress then."
After brushing her teeth and taking a shower to soothe her aching muscles, Regina got dressed and drove with Henry towards Granny's. Apparently that was the place her son asked Archie to meet with them and that was exactly where they found him.
"Regina." Archie greeted her and she clenched her jaw, nodding as a way of her own greeting. "It's good to see you around."
"I'll see you when you are done." Henry said and went to pet Pongo.
Arching an eyebrow and looking around the dinner, the brunette woman decided that this was not going to be a good idea. Sure, she would do it if it meant that Henry would spend the day with her, but she still didn't like it.
"Do we really have to do this here?" Because when she has gone to the man to talk in the past, they have done so in private.
Dr. Hopper smiled at her; "I know, it was Henry's idea. Do you want to go out and sit somewhere more secluded?"
Humming and adjusting her scarf, she shrugged. "I guess."
"Good, do you want something on the go, coffee?"
"No," She replied making a grimace. Something about drinking coffee on an empty stomach at one o'clock while talking to psychologist didn't sound too appealing so she declined her daily dose of caffeine.
With that settled, the two of them walked out and in silence, made it to a far off bench under a tree. They sat there, Regina looking up to the grey skies and Archie clearing his throat.
"Henry told me he didn't see you in a week." He started to say and Regina breathed in.
"I've been…"
"Busy; yes you told me that last week when I saw you walking around at two o'clock in the morning."
"I lost track of time." She said in her defense because she really had, "I really didn't realize it has been that long."
"Most people tend to seclude themselves after experiencing any sort of traumatic event and we all know that a lot of things had happened to you in the last couple of months; it is not exactly abnormal to react by this. Your mother…"
"Do you remember-" She cut him up, even when she knew she shouldn't be talking about this like at all. What she should do was to keep it simple and talk about Henry, maybe even her mother and that was all. But instead of doing what reason told her to do, she asked him a question that would be better off buried at the back of her head. "Do you remember when Daniel told me to love again?"
For a moment, Hopper remained in silence. But then he shifted on his seat and turned to her. "I do remember."
"And do you think that he was right?" Her eyes turned to him and she swallowed hard down, her gloved hands clutching at one another.
"Yes, I don't see why not."
Shaking her head and moving her eyes from him, she shrugged. "Well I don't think I can… I don't know if I am capable of ever loving like that again."
"You know I am not an expert but I think that loving is an experience that varies from individual to individual so you shouldn't be expecting nor aiming to love in the same way you loved him; you can't make a replica of it, but you can create a new love, a new experience."
Drinking on his words, Regina nodded but said nothing."
"And I do think you are very capable of loving… you know, in that sort of way; but I also think that you won't let yourself do it because you are afraid of it. The question is what are you so afraid of?"
Snorting bitterly, Regina looked up again and blinked her eyes rapidly. Why was she about to tell him all this? Could it be that what she has needed after all was someone to talk to, someone to understand her?
"I don't know, maybe I'm afraid of loving someone and the losing him… or of loving and having that person not love me back because let's face it, I'm damaged goods… I have so much baggage that I just…"
And damn it why were her eyes watering and her voice cracking?
"I live that fear with Henry every day; it will just not go away so I can't even imagine of living it with someone else."
"Well you see, I think your problem resides in the fact that instead of focusing on the feelings that you do have, you channel everything in this fear; you need to stop doing that. You just need to."
Quirking her lips, Regina considered what he said. "I don't want to be afraid of love; but the thing about this fear is that once it knows your face it never really abandons you. It just lays dormant and while it might have fooled you into thinking that you had conquered it and grew stronger from it, it was just waiting for an excuse to show its face once more to take control of your every cell."
She let the words there for a second, and then without looking at the man sitting beside her, she continued.
"It is only then when you realize that fear has crawled under your skin and settled deep inside of you; that it has feasted on everything you have until there is nothing left but fear itself."
Dr. Hopped adjusted his glasses and looked at her intently; Regina could feel his stare burning her, almost as if he was trying to look deep into her. "So who is he?"
Jerking her head towards him and blinking a few times, she crossed her arms to her chest. "What?"
The man smiled knowingly and Regina hated him for that. "You are seeing someone, right? Wow."
"No I'm not." The Queen hurried to say because she really wasn't. Whatever it was that was happening between her and Hook, it could definitely not be put in the seeing each other category.
What they had was more like messed up physical encounters that never should have happened, nothing more.
Sure, the whole thing was confusing and creating a turmoil of emotions she didn't want to feel, but she wasn't about to tell Dr. Hopper any of that. She said enough as it was and besides she would like to stay in denial, she was stubborn like that.
"You shouldn't fight whatever it is that you are feeling."
"I'm… going to go." She said but just remained sitting there. At least until an all too familiar voice called for her attention, then she just closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.
This couldn't be happening to her.
"Well hello there, lovely afternoon isn't it?"
Running her tongue against the edge of her upper teeth, Regina felt as Hook squeezed himself between her body and that of Archie's.
What was it with this man and his timing?
"Killian." Dr. Hopper said in a greeting.
"Did you hear that?" Hook said and Regina opened her eyes to look straight forward, "How come he can call me by my name but you, our dear Queen can't? It is not that hard to pronounce."
"What do you want?" Regina hissed while shaking her head.
"Nothing," He said in his thick accent. "I was just walking by and saw you two chumming and I wondered why would a cricket and the Queen be here all alone."
"We were just talking." Dr. Hopper said while Regina just pursed her lips. She knew what Hook was doing and she didn't like it.
"So now you are chirping pals? I see."
"Hook." Her tone came off as a warning, but before the pirate could reply or before she could say more than that, Archie got to his feet and clapped his hands.
"Well, I think it will start raining again soon so I better get Pongo and go home. We'll keep talking another day." With that said, he turned around and left.
"Don't count on it, mate." Hook said through clenched teeth and Regina turned her face to look at him.
His eyes were settled intently on Archie and by the way he was pursing his lips as he watched him go, she could guess that his mind was swirling with ways on how to hurt the man.
"Did you seriously just do that?" Her voice came out as flat and even, but she wasn't happy with what just happened.
"Am I serious? I could ask you the same thing, what the bloody hell are you doing chumming with that bug?"
Snorting in disbelief, she blinked one, two and then three times in a row. "What I do or stop doing is not of your concern."
Clenching his jaw, he moved his eyes to hers and pinned her in place with just a heated look. "I have to differ, love. If you hide from me for days and then come out just to chat with the cricket, then it does concern me."
"No it doesn't, and I wasn't hiding. Why does everyone assume that because I don't feel like going out, then something is going on or that I'm just hiding?"
"So you weren't hiding? I could have come to your door at any given hour and you would have answered?"
"I don't do hiding, Hook." She said with a snarl of her lips before going to her feet. "Now if you excuse me, I'll go and get my son, I won't be here all day long watching you getting foolish."
Before she could take one step towards the Dinner, Hook got up as well and grabbed her arm. "What's with you and the cricket?"
Fixing her eyes on his, Regina contemplated her words. By all rights what she should do was send the man away with a warning to never ever bother her again. But it was just that she couldn't.
For the entire week he has come to occupy a good portion of her thoughts and now that she had him there, at reaching distance, she couldn't find it in her to blow him off.
She should, she realized, and maybe she will.
"Nothing; there's nothing going on, okay? I was just talking to him when you came with that ridiculous macho routine as if marking your territory. But get this, Hook, because I won't warn you again; you do that again and I won't hesitate in putting you in place no matter who is watching."
His jaw clenched hard as he looked away into distance. He wasn't in a good mood, she could tell, but after the one he just pulled she wasn't in the best of moods either so she better leave it there.
Thinking about that, she moved away from him, but when he felt her pushing away he pulled her closer. "I don't like playing games, Regina."
His breath brushed against her face and the wind made her catch on the scent of him; that right there made her think on what Archie told her about letting go of that fear, but instead on giving in, she lifted her chin and looked defiantly into his angry eyes.
"Good, because neither do I." And with that, she managed to get away from his grip and away from him, leaving him more than a little angry and frustrated.
But he watched her go without following and without complaining, he just waited until he could see her no more and then he went to the only place that could bring him some kind of solace.
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Breathing out a low groan that barely made it past his throat and forcing his soaked feet to keep moving forward, the blue eyed man popularly known as Hook walked with his head held up high through the very illuminated street that lead to her house.
As he moved along, he could feel a few curious eyes watching his very step and that almost made him chuckle; it seemed that nobody in Storybrooke had ever seen a one handed banged up pirate; limping and holding his aching midsection with both his arms. Oh, and did he mention that he was dripping wet as well? Because he certainly was; wet and with dirt all over his hair and clothes…
So aye, that night he was truly a sight to be seen and he knew it, but that everyone that happened to be walking his way looked at him as if he was the reaper looking for his next victim only elevated his barometer of annoyance even more higher that it already was and that made him feel as if he was rotting in his sour mood.
Clearing his throat and turning his head to the side to make sure that he was not being followed, Hook snarled his lips and moved his head straight forward once again, walking as best as he could until he made it to the door he has been looking for.
Once in front of it, the pirate knocked two times and waited, dropping the arm with the hook limply to his side while the other one moved to his head, his fingers tangling into his hair.
Now, if he had to be completely honest, he would confess that was feeling like crap. His hip was bothering like never before, his ribs hurt with every step he took and he had a pounding headache that was making him feel kind of dizzy.
And that was without mentioning that he was uncomfortable as hell; his wet shirt was sticking to his chest and stomach, his long coat felt too heavy for his body to hold and his boots were full of water.
There was nothing worse than walking with your feet drowning inside your boots and unfortunately, that was his case that night.
Groaning once more, he closed his eyes tight shut; his forehead resting against the wall in front of him until he heard the door begin to open.
"Hook? What the hell happened to you?"
Listening to the velvety sound of that voice spit the question and opening his eyes to slits, Hook moved his head to the side and looked straight at the woman.
"Are you going to let me in or will you go hiding in your cave again?"
At those words, Regina opened her warm eyes as wide as they would go and shook her head from side to side; but then she moved to the side so he could walk in.
Blinking slowly, he put his feet on the move once again and dragged himself into her house.
"What happened to you?" Regina asked once again, closing the door once he was in. Was she being indifferent or has there been a trace of concern in her voice. He didn't know…
"To me?" He asked, walking aimlessly around. "Not much, I just got into a fight in that good for nothing Rabbit Hole." He said with a shrug, his tone coming off as flat and disinterested.
"You got into a fight? God how stupid do you get?" She said, grabbing him by the arm and making him turn to her. The motion made him feel like he wanted to puke and he closed his eyes for a few seconds, waiting for the sensation to disappear.
The feeling went away as fast as it came and when it was time to open his eyes again, he found Regina standing right in front of him.
"Who did you fight?"
"Do you always answer your door looking like this?" Hook watched her, his blue eyes drinking on the sight of her with extreme care. As she stood there, he noticed that her face was fresh and clean of any make-up and that to cover her body she just had a short silk bathrobe that wasn't leaving too much for his imagination.
Not that he needed to recur to his imagination to know what was underneath the thin fabric, he knew by memory the wonders of her body and if he wanted to take a look, he was sure that the only thing he had do to was lift his hand and pull at it open.
But that wasn't what he came looking for… well, truth be told he didn't know what he came looking for. His mind was a bit fussy…
"I ask you a question first, who did you fight?"
"I don't know." He said, blinking slowly. And he really didn't know who was the guy… he just knew that after his encounter with Regina earlier that day he had felt pissed off as hell and he ended up in the infamous tavern.
He drank, he has wanted to numb his mind into submission, but before he could get enough rum into his system to manage that, the other man started to look for a fight with him and well, this was the result.
Feeling a pair of hands grab his face, Hook blinked once again and shook himself back to the present. Regina was once again right in front of him, her eyes fixed deeply in his as he stared back.
"What happened?" She asked slowly and not for the first time and to the question, he blew out a breath.
"It was nothing, I got into a fight and beat the crap out of his man; we got kicked out and when I was going back to my ship he came and threw his traveling box at me." Aye, he messed up his hip with the impact and then his head when it hit the hard concrete as he fell, but once the initial shock wore down he just got up and walked to her house.
"You mean he ran you over with his car and you came straight here? Hook… you need to go to the hospital."
Breathing in and moving his eyes all over her face, Hook shook his head. "I'm alright, I've been in a lot worse so trust me, I will live though this."
Pursing her lips, Regina shook her head, her hands moving to his chest. "And what am I supposed to do with you?" She asked flatly. But then lowering her eyes, she pouted her lips and dropped her hands away from him. "God, you are so stupid. And look at your eyes, you are looking and acting like you could have a concussion."
With that said, she grabbed his face in her hands once again and tilted it towards her. Once she had it where she wanted it, she looked straight into his eyes and scanned them over.
"Is that bad?" Hook watched her in return, studying the warmness of her eyes and then lowering his gaze towards her full lips.
It was just amazing that she was so stunning without even trying to be; her lips looked soft and inviting, her eyes clear and sparkling and her eyelashes long and perfect.
"Have I ever told you that you are beautiful? I always thought so, kind of haughty and stubborn as hell but still beautiful."
Arching an eyebrow and pushing the inside of her cheek with her tongue, Regina tilted her head to the side as her lips curved into the phantom of a smile. "See, you definitely messed your head pretty bad or you wouldn't be saying that to me. Come on, let's get you out of those clothes."
"And here I was thinking that you would never offer."
"Yeah well don't push your luck."
Grabbing him by the hand, she guided the tall man into the bathroom upstairs. Once there and with the two of them standing next to the shower, she helped him kick off his boots and then she started to take off his coat and shirt. She even took off his Hook, placing it over the sink.
Now, the effort of lifting his arms to help her along the way made him wince in pain and when she started to slide his pants and underwear down the tender flesh of his hips, he had to close his eyes and bite down his tongue.
But he never said a thing, not to complain and definitely not to rejoice out loud to the fact that she was helping him get on the nude. Instead of pointing that out, he just watched as she undressed him and when that was done, he complied to her command of stepping into the shower, a wonder about this world that still amazed him to no end.
"Call me if you need anything." After saying that and turning the shower on, Regina left Hook to shower as he could.
Sighing out loud and resting his head against the tiled wall of the shower, the pirate closed his eyes and allowed a spray of warm water to hit his aching muscles. He did not however attempt any effort to clean up or to move for that matter.
He just remained there for a long while, his mind drifting away until he heard Regina talking to him.
Opening his eyes, he saw that the woman was peeking into the shower and the next thing he knew, she was sliding in to help him clean up. His mind was still fussy, but he was aware that she washed his hair, soaped him real nice and then helped him rinse.
That was when he knew he was really messed up, because he could definitely feel the way her hands slid and touched him all over and yet he didn't feel like lifting the woman in his arms to take her right there in the shower.
Seven hells, he didn't think he had the strength in him to lift her anyway so it was good that his body wasn't reacting to her touch.
Ah, but even though he felt like he needed to have her close for one reason or another so sliding a hand to her waist, he pulled her to him.
"No, I'm not going to get all wet." She complained because she was still wearing her bathrobe, but she easily let herself be dragged to him and when he kissed her lips briefly, her complains were muted.
The kiss was short, just a meeting of lips that lasted three seconds and then he pulled apart and rested his forehead against hers.
Breathing in, he slid his hand to her back and shook his head. "Don't you see what you do to me? I'm like this because of you."
"Oh so I made you get into a bar fight?" She mumbled, placing her hand to his sides and tilting her head up in a way that her lips were a breath away from his.
Nodding, he opened his eyes to look at her dead in the eye as his hand grabbed hers to slide it up against his chest. He moved it along until her palm rested against his beating heart and then he swallowed hard down.
He wasn't sure why he did that, giving her free reign to just reach into him and rip his heart out. It would be so easy for her to do…
"You did, I wouldn't have been there if it wasn't because of you. I don't know what you do to me… but I just…" He didn't have the words to explain it so he just blew out a breath as his heart beat hard against her hand.
"Hook-" She started to say, but the man cut her off with another brief kiss.
"I hate to see you with that cricket, I really do. I even think that you do it on purpose just to torture me; just like you evade me on purpose just to make me suffer."
"I'm not doing anything to torture you, don't get silly just because you are drunk."
His hand moved to her hair as he breathed into her scent. For days he has been missing the way she smelled… and when he realized it he determined that he was indeed getting silly. It must be the blow to the head. "If you feel like talking you can do it with me, believe it or not I know how to listen."
"Ha,"
"Aye, I get that what you want from me is not for me to listen and for you to talk." No, apparently all Regina wanted about him was between his legs. Maybe she just liked the thrill of how he made her feel and if that was it, he would give her that.
Biting on her lips and rolling her eyes, Regina moved her hand up his neck and then to the back of his head. Then she opened her mouth as if too speak, but he silenced her by kissing her long and deep.
Without letting go of her lips, he swirled around and pinned her against the wall, his knee parting her legs as his hand started to roam along her ribcage.
He could even feel himself starting to stir into life and he pressed harder against her, his tongue never stopping from exploring the sweet cave of her mouth.
"Hook, don't… no." She mumbled while pushing him away. "No."
Taking a step back, the pirate looked at her while dragging his hand to the back of his head. Was that it? She didn't even want him like that anymore or was she trying to dive him out of his mind?
"For the love of God, you need to rest so you either behave or I'll send you to the hospital so that they can deal with you."
Hook closed his eyes and puffed out a breath. He was tired, he couldn't deny that, so trying to focus on that, he cleared his throat. "Aye, resting doesn't sound bad right now."
"Then let's get you to bed."
"With you?" He asked, and to his own ears the question came out pathetically.
Rolling her eyes and turning off the shower, Regina shrugged. "I guess."
Hook smiled, feeling sure that when morning came, he was going to feel a hell of a lot better and more like himself; he just needed some rest and as weird as it sounded, Regina by his side.