Hey, guys! So I'm gonna be super busy Friday HOWEVER I will upload simply because you guys rock. Seriously, my reviewers, do you guys take classes in flattering? I can honestly say I never expected the reviews to be as fantastic as you guys have been writing so keep it coming! I literally thought when I was writing this that I would be the only person laughing and that I would get harshly slammed for even ATTEMPTING at any humor and things.

So I can't respond to Melody Song through PM or something so here, hahaha, I LOVE reading your reviews, thank you so much. I think I should tell you that for me this is uploaded every late Friday Night like right before Midnight

So on that note, let's begin?

Warning: Uhm nothing new, the shortest chapter though

-xx-

It was needless to say that night Deidara stayed in his protective position throughout the night. It was 5:00 A.M and his alarm clock was already ringing. Groggily his hand slid out from beneath his blankets and seized his old nokia phone (who would proudly carry that thing around with them?). He pulled it underneath the covers with him and turned it off, stuffing the phone between his mattress and bedframe. Groaning, Deidara pushed the covers off him and slowly got up, peeping at the slumbering redhead. Sasori had his face nuzzled into his pillow with his red hair sprawled everywhere. Deidara's lip curled in distaste at the sight and he quietly slipped off the bed.

1. He was not going to allow Sasori to wake up before him. 2. He was not going to be there when Sasori woke up.

He crept over to his drawers and pulled out some dark jeans and a beige hoodie and dressed. In the darkness he fixed his hair and eyeliner and crept across the floor over to his shoes and slipped them on, then slowly opened the door and slipped through. Once he was in the hall he quietly closed the door and heaved a sigh of relief. He was pretty sure this feeling was the feeling of that of that one person in the horror movies who actually survives.

Shaking his head he walked down the hall and descended the stairs. He pushed open the dormitory doors and walked out ignoring the chills and the darkness. Deidara walked down the path not really paying attention as the pathway gave into stepping-stones as he passed the school's garden. That is until he passed a weirdly large Venus Flytrap that grumbled out, "Hey, you." Deidara missed his step in the darkness and tripped, slamming his face into the stone.

"Gahh, shit." He hissed out in pain, wincing as he sat up and hesitantly touched his scraped chin. He recoiled at the sting, for the moment overlooking why he had fallen.

"Are you okay?" Deidara's heart just stopped, and in the next few seconds dropped into the stomach, shoving all his other organs out of the way to make a permanent settlement, as the same voice spoke again only colder and deeper, "Who cares?"

Deidara robotically turned his head to the left towards the Venus Flytrap. He was met by a half black, half white face within the plant, it wasn't the racial colored 'white and black', it was actual midnight black and the color of a white eggshell and had yellow eyes that bore into his soul. This was by no means an exaggeration either. What the fuck was he looking at? Who allows aliens or whatever this was staring at him to roam the school grounds well before dawn? Do they not have signs warning 'beware of night travels as you might come across a plant-man hybrid that has a multi-personality disorder'? It only seemed polite if not required.

He didn't even know how to respond or if it was even necessary since he was pretty sure the question was already answered, unfortunately, by the same person who asked. All Deidara could do was stare, mouth held agape as once again the plant man talked to himself, "He's hurt." It was creepy watching the face remain blank, even when his voice held two such different emotions, "So?"… "It's because of us."

Deidara was going to cry if this continued any longer so he interrupted, albeit a little hysterically and practically crying without the actual tears, "No. No. No. NO. This is not happening; I am not watching some… THING have a conversation with itself. No, I'm in bed after Sasori slipped some drugs into my water last night."

"Thing?" The voice actually sounded offended which made Deidara lean back in apprehension.

"Wait… are you a student?! You're not like this school's equivalent to the phantom of the opera?"

"Phantom of the opera equivalent? Are you calling me ugly?" It was the cold voice again, a bit miffed and confused. Deidara decided not even consider responding to the question on his looks. "I'm a third year in the body art classes." The nicer voice responded.

Deidara clutched at his head, feeling a headache coming on if this conversation, the conversation that he was only one third of a part of. "Oh, well that's nice. So, I'm just going to go now." Sighing, he stood up and dusted off his hoodie and jeans and took a few steps.

"Wait, we get awfully lonely-" Deidara cringed at the we part, "-why are you out so early?"

Deidara groaned and turned around irritably, "Why are you out so early?"

"It's rude to answer a question with your own." His colder voice answered and Deidara glared exasperatedly, ready to get some pesticide and spray down the creepy kid.

"I'm pretty sure you answered my questions with your own, un. So you were the first to do so. I'm also pretty positive that it's also frowned upon to creep in a garden. But that may just be me." The plant kid blinked.

"Touché, but I am really lonely…" This kid was really annoying and uncomfortable…That's when it hit Deidara: this kid might be the ultimate Sasori repellent. He might be the key to winning Deidara's losing game with Sasori. He regarded the person-enough thing in front of him.

"What's your name?"

"Zetsu" was the instant response. Deidara nodded slowly.

"Okay, Zetsu, I'm Deidara. Meet me at the cafeteria for breakfast at a table near the door, you'll recognize me. I have to go now, but be there." At this Zetsu actually had the ghost of a smile and Deidara nodded to himself before turning back and continuing his walk, smirking the entire time.

-x-

"Yo, bitch. Change your mind and decide to sit with us?" Hidan asked as he sat next to Deidara in the cafeteria.

Deidara glanced up from his own tray, having been alone, and looked Hidan up and down in disgust, the vicious make out scene still fresh in his mind. When his eyes met Hidan's he leaned back, "You sicken me." Hidan's eyes widened.

"What now, Blondie? I ain't your roommate, for now at least."

"That's how much I hate you. We don't even need to be roommates and you still give me headaches." Deidara said absently, looking around for Zetsu. He spotted the redhead making his way over and suddenly felt anger remembering how Sasori got the key in the first place, "ACTUALLY, HIDAN, YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE. I DON'T KNOW HOW SASORI PERSUADED YOU TO CHANGE ROOMMATES BUT I WILL KILL YOU, FOR THAT, UN." Hidan looked around the cafeteria in surprise at the sudden outburst, and found Sasori. He began to laugh really loud.

"Trust me. There was no fucking persuasion needed for that switch, sweetheart."

Deidara venomously glared at him as Sasori sat down next him, sighing heavily. He looked over at Deidara with sad heavily lidded, chocolate eyes and jutted lips. "You weren't there when I woke up." Deidara shifted his glare to him.

"That's weird."

Sasori nodded his head, agreeing. "Don't worry, babe, just make sure it doesn't happen again, okay?"

"Right…" Deidara muttered, impatient for Zetsu to arrive.

Kisame and Itachi joined the table soon. "Hey, Deidara's sitting with us today?" Kisame grinned at Deidara about to sit next to him.

Frantically Deidara covered the spot with his arm, "WAIT!" Kisame froze and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, his eyes darting over to Sasori who was just as surprised. Deidara let out a shaky laugh and with the same hand attempted to casually push back a strand of his hair, "I meant that seat is taken." He laughed awkwardly at all the blank stares he was getting. Hesitantly Kisame took the seat next to the empty seat and resumed his apparently previous conversation with Itachi.

Sasori looked at Deidara oddly, "Who's sitting there?"

Deidara shrugged casually, "You probably don't know him." Sasori's eyebrows furrowed.

"Is this person a friend?" His tone caught Deidara off guard and he looked at him, studying his face. Sasori was jealous. Upon this realization Deidara had to bite back the threatening smirk before he nodded.

"Yeah, I actually met him this morning and we have a lot in common so I invited him to sit with us. I hope you don't mind, un."

Sasori noticeably got colder and was about to respond before a voice interrupted him, "Is that our seat, Deidara?"

Sasori glanced up, his eyes widening in shock at Zetsu's appearance. He slowly looked back at Deidara with a raised eyebrow, "… you guys have things in common? You and the multi-personality-kid-that-has-his-own-room-becaus e-of-this, that guy? You two have a lot in common?" He asked in disbelief, glancing back at Zetsu who was now sitting next to Deidara and was tearing apart a burrito quite viciously.

Deidara regarded him thoughtfully before processing what Sasori had said. He turned over in his seat to look at him, "Wait, he has his own room? DAMNIT THAT VICE PRICIPAL LADY LIED TO ME."

"You would actually rather room with him than Hidan?" Sasori's usual half opened eyes were wide. Deidara looked over at Hidan who was arguing with Kakuzu, who had arrived sometime earlier apparently, obnoxiously. He then looked at Sasori and nodded his head vigorously. Sasori face palmed himself, "You're impossible."

"Says Mr. Sexual Harassment." At this Sasori's incredulous face instantly seductively smirked and he winked.

"Come on, Deidara. Look at me. Now look at you. We're both hot. It's only a matter of time before we get together~" He began to sing the last part smugly.

Deidara looked at him disdainfully before swiveling in his seat to look at Zetsu with a wicked grin and spoke in a lowered voice, "Hey, Zetsu, Sasori actually was telling me yesterday how he thought that body painters and make up artists shouldn't even be considered artists, un. And since you are one, I thought you would have some insight on how wrong he is."

Zetsu slowly looked over at Sasori who hadn't caught Deidara's low words. "What did you say, Ariel?" It was the cold voice, Deidara nearly squealed with happiness.

Sasori glanced at him in confusion, "Excuse me?"

""You heard me, Annie, don't be ignorant. Body paint is an art as well as make up. Do you see this Venus Flytrap? I made it out of silicon, took me four days and took every amount of work it took for your stupid puppets."

Sasori still didn't understand what was happening. He jutted his head out and raised an eyebrow, "Uhm, that's nice? But more importantly, I get the Ariel reference however let's be honest if anyone was the singing ginger orphan girl it's Pein." From his side Hidan paused in his argument and looked up, nodding his agreement. Sasori pointed back at him over his shoulder with his thumb and tilted his head in indication. "See?" Deidara coughed into his hand, slightly horrified that he was laughing at Sasori's joke.

"If you see this then why are you talking bad about my art?"

"… I wasn't."

"Deidara said you were." Deidara froze as Sasori looked over at him in astonishment before nodding his head in understanding, a smirk growing on his face.

"You're good." Deidara opened his mouth a little, getting ready to say a suspicious thanks before Sasori continued, "Honestly speaking, you only get hotter. I think I'm falling." He said dreamily, before ruffling his own hair absentmindedly. Deidara just watched him silently before hearing the squeal that made him cringe more than Zetsu did, "Dei, why aren't you sitting with us? You didn't sit there last night either" Both Sasori and Deidara turned simultaneously to see Ino pouting dramatically.

Deidara grimaced and slowly tried to turn back around, pretending he never saw her. Sasori grinned and looked at Ino, sympathetically opened his mouth and closed it again ,once he spotted something weird over her shoulder, he raised his eyebrows, "Is that Sasuke trying to get your attention? He's standing alone, might be serious." He pointed behind her.

Ino spun around, "Oh my god, Sasuke, yes. YES!" She ran away in the vague direction that Sasori had pointed at.

Deidara looked at him oddly, "Thanks, un." Sasori bared his pearly white teeth.

"Any time."

"Right…" Deidara didn't know how to continue this. Should he snap at him again? But then the next time Ino would come then Sasori might allow her to stay there or make things worse and it wasn't like Deidara wasn't very thankful, he was. "Anyways what were we talking about before?" He asked a little less aggressively.

Sasori smirked, "You confessing your secret feelings for me that you're too shy about." Deidara rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure that's what it was, un."

"He's lying, Deidara, we were talking about him saying rude things about my passions." Deidara grinned and Sasori scowled. Deidara was right to invite him to the table.

-xx-

Deidara stood outside his room after school, a little hesitant to open the door. He had had art with Sasori and like breakfast it wasn't horribly bad… and that's why he paused. Would this be like yesterday? He trusted Sasori and got kissed? Now he had somewhat fun and would get raped once he walked in? After berating himself for being nervous, he pushed open the door, Sasori was there on his own bed listening to music as he chipped away at a block of wood that was partly transformed into a hand.

He didn't look up so Deidara just trudged in, dropping his backpack and slipping off his shoes, glancing at the intense stare the redhead was giving to the piece of wood. It was weird seeing him without any dramatic emotion but a serene and thoughtful. It kind of looked, maybe a little attractive. Deidara paused in movements, horrified. What did he just think?! Attractive? Sasori? After thinking he didn't have a bad time with him?! He vigorously shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and stomped over to his bed.

He settled himself on it and pulled out his phone, going through it. "Hey" Deidara glanced up at Sasori who had stopped in his chiseling and was looking at him with a ghostly smile on his eyes bright chocolate eyes, again the words attractive running through his mind. He must've been looking at him oddly because Sasori's ghostly smile turned into a full blown winning grin, "Are you checking me out?"

Deidara turned away, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "You wish." He looked back at his screen.

"Of course" It was so quiet that Deidara wasn't sure if he actually heard it at all.

-xx-

Guys, I always upload once I finish it so I don't really review it cause I'm an impatient person, so if there's grammar mistakes, choppy parts, then I'm sorry. If it makes it less painful to read then we can make a game of it and see how many errors I make.

Anyways, that was such a short chapter and stuff… I know I don't know what to think either. You guys but I'm actually going to my black belt test in an hour so wish me luck or not, probably going to embarrass myself and afterwards I am going to spend the night at a friend's house and have a Star Wars marathon. I haven't missed a Friday yet and I also promised gabrielsangel23 that I'd upload tonight (I am honored that these uploads make your day) so I had to do one, even if it is short.
So review your thoughts and or favorite or follow, that would be super cool of you guys. Next week then, unless you guys read Progress, then tomorrow. :D