My Personal Hell
So after my little discussion with my housemates I stayed away from Neville for a few days. What the bloody hell had I been thinking? I hadn't even considered my father being a factor in this little escapade. It was ridiculous.
"It's a stupid, stupid idea!" I snapped to myself in the shower that morning. I kept my hands firmly planted on the wall in front of me glaring as the hot water coursed down my body. "Get yourself out now Draco, while you can! Who gives a shit if people don't think you're a sex God any more? Only the lucky ones will know!"
Yes. I had to back out. My father could NOT hear that I was gay. He would come to Hogwarts straight away and flog me. I rinsed my hair out and hurriedly dried myself off, set on my purpose.
I hurried down the steps, still wrapped in my towel, and found Blaise and the others sitting on the leather couches playing cards.
"I'm not going to do it," I yelled. The group of my housemates froze and looked up from their game of poker.
"Do what?" Blaise asked.
"Longbottom," I said simply. "Fuck it. I'm out. How much do I owe people?"
Blaise stood and approached me. "Draco have you really thought this through? Come on mate! What the hell are you screwing us all over for? Just get in and get out. Don't worry about how much money we'll be in for. The bets have doubled over just a few days! What are you worried about?"
"Gosh I don't know Zabini!" I snapped. "My father maybe? What if he gets word that I'm doing pillow biters now?"
Blaise stood staring at me with his mouth ajar. It was then that the whole room erupted in laughter. To my left and to my right I was being mocked.
"Draco we know you're not gay!" Blaise said. "And the only way your father would find out is if one of us told our fathers or told Lucius ourselves! We're not going to do that to you! It's a bet! I was just saying that the other night to give you shit. I didn't think it would actually get to you!"
I stared around at my friends who were all grinning at me.
"How much are we in for?" I asked. Blaise smirked slyly at me.
"A lot," he said slowly.
"Yes, but how much is a lot?" I asked him.
"We're up to about three hundred right now. What do you think about that Malfoy?" he asked.
"That's like a hundred a day," I murmured more to myself then to the others.
"And isn't that just orgasmic?" Blaise asked clapping me on the shoulder. "And more people are getting in on it as we speak probably."
"We're going to be rich!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air. And it was then that my towel dropped to the floor around my feet. Suddenly the room erupted in noisy protest to my now nude bum being exposed to the room. "We're going to be bloody rich!" I bellowed once more before turning towards the boys' dormitories and running up the stairs to get dressed.
"God he's an odd one," Crabbe murmured sitting back down to continue the poker game. It was soon that the other Slytherin boys did the same.
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So I'm thinking that Longbottom was probably starting to freak out seeing as it had been a long while since I'd talked to him. Why wouldn't he be freaking out? He'd had the good fortune of becoming my favorite person. Every time I thought about what I'd have to do with him though, I gagged. I don't know why. I just did. I'd never ever even considered what it'd be like to do somebody in their bum. Now that I thought about it though it would probably be very painful for both of us at the beginning.
I shuddered as I walked into the Great Hall immediately scanning it for my soon to be lover. Again, my skin crawled. I would have to do something with his physical appearance before I would even go there. He wasn't a girl. He didn't use all those feminine products to insure his skin was soft and that he smelled good. Although he did use a rather strong cologne that made my head hurt…
Any way. So I found him sitting by himself at the end of the Gryffindor table and I walked over plopping down. I didn't really care that I was being thrown death glares left and right. My God! I wasn't in my designated section! Somebody call the police! Ha!
"Hello Longbottom," I said with a sly grin. He looked up from his plate and sighed.
"What can I do for you Malfoy?" he muttered. I glanced over to the teachers' table and found they were all staring over at us with slight concern. As was the Golden Trio and the whole damn Great Hall. What did they think I was going to do to the poor bloke? Sprout claws and rip his head off? That looked doubtful to me but to everybody else, well I guess you get my meaning.
"Well I told you you'd be seeing a lot more of me," I replied quietly so that nobody could overhear what I was telling him. "You know, I just haven't been able to get you out of my head these past few days. I don't really understand why you haven't given me the time of day."
Wow… That was rich. Talk about pulling total bull shit out of my arse. He didn't seem to be buying it either.
"Really? You haven't looked my way at all these past couple of days," Neville murmured to me. He'd taken my quiet tone and adopted it, looking around. "What do you want from me?"
"Well…I wish you would take me seriously Longbottom. It's about time that somebody in this school has the same…interests as me. You know? It's hard," I said smiling at him. He gazed at me and brushed his hair out of his eyes.
"Really Malfoy? What the bloody hell are you playing at? I'm not an idiot. Even if you were gay, you wouldn't be interested in somebody like me. I could see your type being more like…Zabini over there…or Potter. Or-"
"Now stop right there Longbottom," I said firmly. "Potter? Really?"
"Well…you two both have this horrible thing where you have to be the center of attention. Together you two would be like…Dynamite or something. You know? The hottest gay couple in wizard history. You and Zabini would be good together because you're both just so…ridiculously handsome. And you'd probably set a gay trend in which all the gay wizards in this school would start coming out just because of how hot you two are together. You know? But that's only if you were gay Malfoy. Which I highly doubt that you are. And if you were I think you would actually have a chance with Zabini. I just get a vibe off of him…But I've heard stories about you that have made even me blush, and not one of them included a guy," Neville finished and returned to his breakfast.
"Maybe I'm not gay," I said thoughtfully after a moment.
"It's about time you cut the shit," Longbottom said.
"But I know that I've been watching you for some time and I just…don't know… I've always had these feelings that I know just aren't well…normal I guess. I just can't hide them any more Longbottom. Have you ever wanted something you know you shouldn't go after but you're helpless to stop?" I asked.
Neville's eyes met mine and I moved my foot across the floor until my boot touched his shoe and I nudged him. He smirked at me for a moment before kicking me in my shin. He didn't do it rough but playfully.
"Besides…If I'm as handsome as you say I am then you'd think you would take the opportunity and run with it. Take me Longbottom. We don't have to tell anybody if you don't want. It could just be you and me," I said.
God this was weird. I was flirting with somebody of the male species! I wasn't used to this sort of thing. I guess it was as simple as telling him what I'd like to hear come out of a female's mouth. Stuff that I would like a girl to tell me before getting down to business. We were in the courtship part of the 'relationship.' I had to flatter him before I was going to get anywhere with this bet.
"I don't know," Longbottom said. "Why should I trust you? After the other night?"
"What did I do to you the other night that was really that bad?" I asked. "Has anyone come up to you laughing and calling you an idiot for falling for my shit?"
"Well…no," Longbottom said slowly.
"Exactly. That little meeting was between you and me and that's it. Why the hell would I want to humiliate somebody I'm trying to get in with? I need a change Neville. Spend the day with me. What do you think?" I asked.
"I think you're crazy and I'm really starting to get a little worried that you're not going to stand up and laugh in my face and tell me where all the cameras are hidden. Or something to that affect," Neville said leaning back from the table a bit.
"Why would that be such a bad thing? If that didn't happen I mean," I added staring at him through my cold gray eyes.
I was beginning to think this would never happen. He wasn't giving in and by the looks of it he didn't really want to. Why? I, Draco Malfoy didn't know. Only Longbottom knew that…and God maybe… but anyway.
"Why me Malfoy?" Longbottom asked after a few minutes. "You could have any gay or sexually confused guy in this school. Why go after the toad boy? The one that everyone avoids because he's so odd. Why would you want that?"
"Honestly?" I asked him. He nodded.
"Because it makes you more down to earth. It makes you more appealing because one, you've made me work for you, and two, the work makes it more rewarding… You aren't just an easy lay. It would make any sort of relationship you and I have together more meaningful," I said.
That was a good deep answer if I do say so myself. And it must have impressed Longbottom as well because he smiled at me and got to his feet.
"What did you have in mind Malfoy?" he asked. I looked over at Blaise and flashed him a humongous triumphant toothy grin. I raised my eyebrows up and down quickly and then returned my attention to Neville who was grabbing his belongings.
"I don't know. Let's just see where the day takes us," I drawled. I stood and glanced over at Potter and his two best mates. They were staring at us in disbelief. Neville turned his attention to where my gaze was focused and he rolled his eyes.
"Potions guys," he yelled at the three of them. "My partner remember?" he asked motioning towards me. Potter and Weasley glared at me whereas Granger just looked worried.
I waved at them giving them my award-winning smile.
"We've got a lot of work to do," I added as an afterthought. I took that opportunity to run my hand across Neville's arse and he stood up very straight and blushed furiously. I chuckled evilly behind him, my breath on the back of his neck. Blaise suddenly burst out laughing, covering his mouth with his napkin to muffle the noise. My friends turned and looked at me very confused.
I shook my head and put a finger to my lips and Blaise nodded.
"Is everything alright Longbottom?" I asked. He nodded quickly.
"We should get going then," he replied clearing his throat.
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I remember that day well. It was the beginning of Longbottom's and my 'relationship.' Relationship… God that's still an odd thought. I don't know if I want to call it that but at the same time there's not really any other name for it. I'd been spending a lot of time floating around in the Gryffindor common room these days.
All was quiet right now. It was late and I was resting just above the couch listening to the light popping sounds of the dying embers in the fireplace. I was here partly because I was hiding from Peeves and partly because I felt like I needed to be in this place. Some unknown force beyond myself was telling me that there was something that I needed to be doing here amongst the Gryffindors… There was something I wasn't seeing.
Sometimes late at night I found I floated up here with no control over myself what so ever. As though I were being pulled to Him… I doubt the bastard even felt guilty…
It was then that I heard footsteps coming from the boys' dormitories and suddenly Neville came into view. He slouched into the common room and sat down right directly below me. I felt anger flood my little cloud self as I stared down at him.
"You," I growled. He froze and looked around.
"Who's there?" he asked startled. He pulled out is wand. I fell silent just watching him and waiting. "That's odd…" He whispered, "I thought I just heard you Draco…"
It was then that I saw Hermione Granger at the top of the steps near the girls' dormitories. If I still had eyes they would have narrowed. What was she doing skulking about up there?
"I think about you all the time," Neville went on. "It was an accident Draco. I don't know how it happened… That's the first time something like that has ever happened to me."
"You ruined me you prick!" I hissed in his ears. His arms broke out in goose bumps and he stood up quite suddenly looking all over the common room.
"Where are you Draco?" he yelled. I saw Granger start and move a bit closer.
"Keep it down," I snapped. "You can hear me?"
"Yes!" Neville said. He dropped to his knees, his legs shaking visibly. "Oh Draco, it was an accident! I never meant for any of it to happen! I was just so angry! And I didn't even think that stupid curse would work! Nothing I ever attempt to do with a wand works!"
"I should kill you Longbottom!" I snarled. Neville brought his hands up to his face.
"No! Please Draco! I've been reading!" he squeaked up at me.
"Reading? What the hell do I care about reading? Will it bring me back to life? No! I don't think so Neville! You know what you took from me you arse? Everything! I have nothing left!" I screeched. Suddenly things began to vibrate and shatter around him such as the small glass orbs that floated around the ceiling for decoration and a few butterbeer bottles that had been left sitting on the side tables.
"Stop Draco!" Neville said covering his ears. "Please!"
For some odd reason the sight of him cowering below me made the anger melt away. I had had a soft spot for him when we were…er…together. I don't know what it was. The way he hung on my every word…
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We were laying on the floor in the Slytherin common room.
"It's not as creepy in here as I thought it would be," Neville murmured. I rolled onto my side and smiled at him.
"Did you think we all lived down here in the dark hanging from the ceiling by our clawed feet, only leaving to feed on the blood of the innocent by the light of the moon?" I asked. I chuckled.
"That's what everybody thinks about the Slytherin House," Neville muttered. "Maybe not that exactly. We think all sorts of weird things go on down here. But it turns out you're just as normal as the Gryffindors."
"We're just people Longbottom," I murmured scooting a little closer to him. "Maybe slightly snootier than the rest of the school but not different. We're like a family just like any other house."
Blaise Zabini came through the entrance hole and stopped dead, staring at Longbottom and me splayed out in front of the fireplace.
"Sorry for interrupting," he muttered quickly before going up the steps. When he got to the top we heard him laugh. "You dog, Malfoy!" he called down the corridor. I rolled my eyes.
"He knows?" Neville asked slightly confused.
"He knows I'm bisexual, he knows you're gay… He put two and two together that we're-"
"Just friends," Neville said propping himself up on his elbow. "That's all we are… if even that… I mean we just barely started hanging out Malfoy… The idea of you and me just-"
"Don't worry Longbottom. What ever you want. It's fine," I said placing my hand on his arm. "There's no rush. We've got all the time in the world to decide where we stand. No pressure."
Neville smiled at me as he began to relax again.
"Yeah. Alright," he said shyly. "All the time in the world…"
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I whizzed around the Gryffindor common room over and over again. I could see the draft I was creating ruffling Neville's hair as he sat silently on the floor.
"Draco?" he asked uncertainly. He had to of known I was still there. I was creating quite a breeze.
"Hmmm?" I asked stopping in mid air.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked. He'd asked me that all the time when we were together… I laughed malevolently.
"I'm wondering if there's any way at all I can get out of this situation, Neville. I've been wondering this whole time why I'm stuck here like this. And you're going to help me find a way out of it," I growled threateningly. "Got it? You owe me this."
"I've been reading Draco," Neville said again. "I don't know if we can help you. But I know somebody who would probably know for sure…"
"Let me guess. Granger?" I asked.
"Oh my God!" we heard a startled yell come from the top of the steps and then a series of thumps as Granger fell clumsily into view.
"Hermione!" Neville said, his eyes wide with panic. She got to her feet slowly as I snickered.
"Now that was funny," I said happily.
"Neville," Hermione began slowly. "Who have you been talking to?"
"As if she doesn't know Neville," I said whizzing around his body in a snake-like manner. "She's been standing up there the whole time."
"And you didn't say anything?" Neville spat at me.
"Hey. You don't get to be pissed off Longbottom! Not unless I throw you out of a window. Which I might," I added for good measure.
"Neville?" Hermione asked.
"I was just talking to myself," Neville said. Granger looked right at me and glared.
"I can feel you Malfoy," Hermione said, putting her hands on her hips. "At first I thought it was just me but now I'm not so sure…"
"Can you help me Granger?" I asked. I then whizzed around her and she shivered.
"He is here!" she whispered. "Neville, what the bloody hell is going on?"
"He wants to know if you can help him," Neville stammered.
"Help him with what?" Hermione asked uncertainly.
"Save me from the light!" I said. "Ask her if there's any way to bring me back! Tell her everything Neville or so help me God I'll…" But words didn't describe what I was feeling so I just flew at him at full speed, making Granger's hair fly around her face in a whirlwind of my essence. I was going to fly through him and give him that creepy crawly cold feeling that you get any time you run into a ghost. But when I made contact I just seeped into him and got stuck there…
Neville suddenly went very pale and fell backwards, his hands waving about as though he were trying to use his arms as wings to catch himself. I felt very heavy and out of touch with myself.
"What the hell?" I murmured. I heard my voice… But what was strange is it didn't echo into nothing. It came out of a mouth…I opened my eyes… Wait! Eyes?
Granger was standing over me looking very worried.
"Neville… Are you alright?" she asked.
"Neville? What the hell Granger?" I asked. Her eyes widened.
"Malfoy?" she asked.
"The one and only," I began. "Why is it that suddenly everyone can hear me talking? When before I could scream and nobody would take notice until something would break…"
"Malfoy…stand up," Hermione instructed.
"Ha, ha!" I laughed derisively. "That's very funny Granger. Mock me because I don't have legs."
"Malfoy you idiot," she snapped. She then grabbed my hand… My hand? Yes… My hand. And helped me to my feet.
"Bloody hell," I whispered in disbelief.
"Malfoy," Hermione began slowly. "What have you done with Neville?"
A/N: Okay. Newest chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for your wonderful reviews. Tell me what you think about this chapter. It's sort of frustrating because I know people are reading my stories because they'll add them to their favorites or they'll put them on an alert list but they won't review. I 3 reviews. And I'll always update quicker depending on the amount of reviews I get. Especially now that I have a new computer and can write whenever I want. Love you all. REVIEW PLEASE!