Holy crap! I finished this chapter less than a week after I posted the last chapter, and I started this one from scratch! After I finished a science test, I got bored and started to work, and then I ended up with over thirty ideas by the end of that day! Damn I'm good! The rest of the ideas came to me in the McDonalds drive thru, and so now I have to carry a small notepad with me at all times for my spontaneous ideas that I get.
By the way, it is extremely difficult to write while on the bumpy roads of Pennsylvania. My notebook paper is a prime example of this.
Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach or McDonalds. (I mentioned fast food in the last chapter too...I think they're trying to tell me something...)
Warning: Do not attempt. I'm sure you would not like to be turned into such a bloody mass of bones and pulp that no one would recognize you anymore, so don't try this. Kenpachi is a damn dangerous man. Okay, he's worse than dangerous; he's a hazard to man-kind!
Fifty Or More Ways To Annoy Bleach Characters
By Kouzumi93
Chapter Six: Zaraki Kenpachi
- Hide his eye-patch.
- Also hide his bells.
- Glue them together when you put them back.
- Tell him that he doesn't spend enough time with his zanpakuto.
- Call him weak.
- Tel him that Kurosaki Ichigo can still kick his ass.
- Ask him who 'Yachiru' is.
- Tell him that he doesn't deserve the title of captain.
- Call him a brute.
- Ask him if his favourite colour is blood red.
- Tell him that he is pathetic because he can't put his top bell on by himself.
- Kill Yachiru.
- Hide his Zanpakuto.
- Tell him that in order to surpass Ichigo, he needs a hollow mask.
- And Bankai.
- Hell, he still needs shikai!
- Attempt to re-forge his zanpakuto.
- When he asks you what you are doing, tell him that you're probably gonna do a better job than he did.
- Ask him what his zanpakuto's name is.
- Shave his head.
- Better yet, only shave one half of his hair off.
- Or maybe give him an old man style haircut.
- Perhaps just cut it.
- Ask him why he has such long hair.
- Ask him if he was previously in a biker gang.
- Dye his hair pink, cut it and style it like Yachiru's.
- Tell people that he's trying to look just like her, and he's currently working on the height difference.
- When he gives you the chance to attack first, run away saying, "I'll get back to you on that!"
- Tell him that you have arranged for him to battle Yamamoto.
- When he starts grinning like mad and is all hyped up, tell him that it was just a joke.
- Paint his bells neon pink, orange and/or green.
- Dye his hair gray.
- Then call him Ken-jii.
- 'Accidentally' mix up his gigai and Matsumoto's.
- Better yet, Hitsugaya's.
- Best of all, Yachiru's.
- Put his hair up in pigtails.
- Give him a non-frayed haori.
- Ask him if he takes steroids.
- Ask him what he would do to Yumichika if he found out about his zanpakuto.
- Strongly suggest that he transfer him to the twelfth division, as you've been there, and they need more lab rats--er--assistance.
- Tell him that Ikkaku is better than him, as he has learned his bankai already.
- Tell him that his hair looks like a cockatiel.
- Tell him that a peace/no violence treaty has been signed. Therefore, no fighting at all will be tolerated.
- See how long it takes him to go insane.
- Plant pink flowers all over his division.
- Especially surround his room in them.
- Replace his brushes with crayons.
- Pink and purple and yellow coloured ones.
- See if he stops doing his paperwork.
- Well, the little bit that he does.
- Hijack his paperwork and draw pictures of him killing Yama-jii.
- In the brightly coloured crayons that you put in his office, just to make it look like he did it.
- Then turn in the work.
- Get one of the things that Urahara used in chapter 69 and make it fly through Kenpachi's window. (But with a different message than it was for Ichigo and crew.)
- See how long it takes him to come charging outside prepared to fight.
- Run if he comes right away, as he's probably very blood thirsty.
- Hell, you should probably run right after you launch the thing, cause he'll fucking Hunt You Down.
- Then you'll die, and Ken-chan will have no one to play with.
- Call him Ken-chan.
Holy shit, this was a long and short chapter at the same time! The ideas are averagely short, but there's sixty of 'em, so I think this is the longest chapter that way. Either way, I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I think I did most of this chapter on my own, and didn't rely too much on friends this time around.
Anyway, I think I'll let you guys pick the character for the next chapter. Anyone who I don't have already who is not really a minor character. Minor characters are harder to do, since you usually don't get a good look at their personality.
So review and leave me your ideas! It would be best if in your review you left me some ideas to start with, too! But you don't have to, but it would help me to get the chapter out sooner.
Oh, and guess what? Today is my birthday! I'm so happy!