Disclaimer-I do not own Merlin unfortunately
Thanks for reviewing people, I think this chapter has a little less angst
Chapter 6-Journey to Ealdor
At the crack of dawn Arthur was up and dressed as he packed some clothes for his journey to Ealdor. By the time Merlin arrived with his breakfast the prince was pacing up and down. He ordered Merlin to pack him some food and water for his trip. Merlin bustled off to the kitchens without question assuming the prince was riding out on a hunt.
A short while later Merlin accompanied Arthur down to the stables where he helped the prince load his things onto the horse.
"Where are the other knights?" Merlin asked looking around suspiciously.
Arthur didn't reply. He merely seated himself on the horse and grabbed hold of the reigns. Were it not for Merlin standing in the way, he'd have galloped away but as it was he stayed stationary.
"Move Merlin." Arthur ordered even though he knew it was a waste of his words, Merlin wouldn't obey him.
"Where are you going?" Merlin demanded to know.
"Ealdor." Arthur answered. "I wish to visit your mother."
If it was possible, Merlin turned a shade paler and obvious panic flickered within his eyes.
"I don't want you to go." Merlin said quietly as he lowered his eyes to the ground.
"And I don't want to leave you." Arthur admitted in a soft tone. "But you need help Merlin."
"You can help me." Merlin told him. "You are helping me."
"No Merlin, I'm only making you worse." Arthur replied. "So I must seek help from your mother."
"You can't do that." Merlin said. "You can't tell her."
"I must." Arthur repeated. "Don't do anything stupid whilst I'm gone."
"I'm coming with you." Merlin said decisively as he climbed onto one of Arthur's spare horses.
Arthur frowned at him but did not argue as he led the way out of Camelot, Merlin following behind him.
They rode in silence with the sun beating down on their necks and the gentlest of breezes dancing through their hair. Whilst Merlin kept his eyes straight ahead, Arthur often sneaked glances at the dark haired boy beside him. He could only hope that Hunith would be able to do or say something to help the boy.
As they travelled, Arthur's thoughts turned to Morgana and the lady Aradia. He was still curious about what was happening between them. For a while he contemplated on whether or not he should ask Merlin for his opinion but eventually he chose not to say anything. Morgana and Aradia were not important right now. At this moment in time Merlin was his main priority.
When they were about halfway through their journey they came to a stop and tied their horses to a tree before sitting down on the grass and sharing the food and water they'd brought.
"Please don't tell my mother sire." Merlin begged after swallowing a mouthful of bread. "I don't want her to know…I don't want anyone to know."
"We're not having this discussion Merlin." Arthur told him firmly. "I'm telling your mother and that's final. She needs to know so that she can help you."
"Arthur please." Merlin begged. "Don't tell my mum."
"Don't 'Arthur please' me Merlin." Arthur snapped. "That isn't going to work this time. I'm not going to hurt you anymore."
"But I need you to." Merlin told him sounding somewhat hysterical. "I need to feel."
The blonde nibbled on his strawberry and kept his eyes down not looking at the person beside him. From the corner of his eye he could see Merlin rocking back and forth but he chose to ignore it.
Once he'd finished eating he drank down a large gulp of water before finally turning his eyes upon his manservant. He was still rocking himself with his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly round his legs. His lips were moving as though he was muttering something under his breath but Arthur couldn't hear what. He looked so fragile and Arthur was hesitant to touch him for fear he'd break.
"Merlin?" Arthur asked gently looking at the boy with concern.
The young warlock slowly turned his head to face Arthur and after a few seconds he ceased his rocking and became completely still save for the blinking of his eyes.
"Have you finished eating?" Arthur asked him and Merlin gave a short nod. "Let's get moving then. If we're lucky we'll make it to Ealdor before nightfall."
The prince stood up and untied the horses before looking back at Merlin to find he was still sat in the same spot. Suppressing a groan, Arthur moved back over to him and offered his hand. Merlin looked at the hand warily as though it was a snake prepared to bite him.
"Merlin, take my hand." Arthur instructed speaking to his servant as though he were a small child.
Cautiously, Merlin slipped his hand into Arthur's and the prince helped the boy to stand. He rubbed his thumb gently over the back of Merlin's hand and the dark haired boy let out a soft sigh.
"You feel that Merlin?" Arthur asked in no more than a whisper and his companion nodded. "You see, it doesn't have to hurt for you to feel."
Arthur released Merlin's hand then pulled him towards him and wound one arm around his slim waist and carded the fingers of his other hand through Merlin's ebony locks. Though Arthur kept his eyes wide open Merlin's were slammed shut.
"I want to kiss you." Arthur breathed and Merlin's eyes suddenly flew open and he began to struggle in the prince's embrace beating his fists against the blonde's strong chest.
"No, no kissing!" He shrieked.
"Alright, alright, I'm sorry." Arthur apologized as he let the boy go and hoped that he would soon calm down. "Forgive me Merlin; I'll not say such a thing again."
After taking a few steady breaths Merlin relaxed a little and scrambled onto his horse. Arthur followed his lead and hopped onto his own stallion before riding down the path heading for Ealdor.
The remainder of their journey was spent in total silence until finally they arrived in the small village Merlin had grown up in.
"Home." Merlin sighed silently.
The two young men jumped down from their steeds and led them through the village towards Hunith's house. They tied the horses to a tree nearby and made sure they were fed and watered before Merlin lightly knocked on his mother's door.
"Merlin." She greeted in happy surprise as she pulled her son into a tight embrace not noticing how he winced. "And prince Arthur." She acknowledged with slight confusion. "Please, do come in."
"Thank you Hunith." Arthur said politely as he followed Merlin inside.
"I was just cooking." Hunith told them. "I'm sure I can make enough for the three of us. You must be hungry from your trip."
"Dinner would be lovely mum." Merlin answered with a smile and for a few moments Arthur found that Merlin looked like Merlin again.
"So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Hunith asked.
Merlin shot a pleading look to the prince and the blonde didn't have the heart to reveal the truth, at least not yet.
"Merlin just wanted to visit and see how you were doing." Arthur lied. "And I wanted to get out of the castle for a time."
Hunith nodded believing the lie and continued with her work in the tiny kitchen area.
The prince sat beside Merlin at the table and his manservant gently squeezed his hand and whispered a quiet thank you out of the corner of his mouth.
As the three of them sat down and ate, or in Arthur's case pushed his food about the plate to make it look like he was eating, it began to rain outside. Merlin and Hunith chatted away catching up with what was going on in one another's lives. The prince listened to them and tried not to show any reaction to Merlin's countless lies.
However, as he sipped on his water, Arthur could see a definite genuine shine in Merlin's blue irises, a shine that had long been absent. Perhaps visiting his mother was all Merlin would need. Maybe the boy would return to his normal self after their stay in Ealdor. Arthur certainly hoped so but he wasn't fooling himself. He knew there was a high possibility that he'd have to tell Hunith everything that had been happening.
***
When night came, Merlin gently shook Arthur awake before taking his hand and leading him out of the house. Moving through the darkness like a pair of shadows, Merlin and Arthur made their way to the woodland area that surrounded Ealdor.
"Hurt me." Merlin begged as he faced the blonde, the moon and the stars peeking through the tree branches the only form of light.
"No." Arthur answered in a strong tone. "This isn't happening."
"Please Arthur, I need you." Merlin whimpered as he pressed himself against the blonde. "Make me feel."
"I said no." Arthur told him firmly as he pushed the boy away and held him at arm's length. "Now come on, back to bed."
Merlin opened his mouth to object but Arthur placed a finger over his lips and told him to be quiet. Taking Merlin's hand in his he led him back to the house and they tiptoed inside before settling down in their blankets.
As Arthur tried to sleep he could hear Merlin sniveling and he was positive the other boy was crying. Try as he might Arthur could not block out the sound and he decided then and there that he would tell Hunith everything come morning.
To Be Continued
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