Eddie Latekka was going stir crazy being cooped up in the house. He was feeling better, and as much as Eddie hated to admit his vanity, he was finally looking better too. It had been almost a week since his release from the hospital and he was ready to get back to work and to life in general. And, Phil, who had welcomed Eddie home from the hospital eagerly, was just as eager to see Eddie get out of the house for a while. Eddie's moping around the house, without explanation, was starting to wear on the perennially happy Phil Farmer.

Eddie was downright depressed about what happened between him and Janet. She was on his mind constantly. He knew that he needed to talk with someone who would understand. There was only one friend whom Eddie felt he could confide in about this particular subject, and that is why Eddie made lunch plans with good ol' Owen Rowan.

Being deeply private about his personal business, Eddie didn't want to be overheard by the Knight's Ridge gossipmongers. To avoid being overheard, Eddie and Owen decided to get some subs from Murph's, some Paul Revere beer, and head down to the lake to do some fishing. When they got settled with their fishing lines in the water, and an ice bucket full of beer between them, Eddie decided it was time to start talking.

"Okay, Big O, I'm going to tell you what goes on, but first I need your word that what I tell you goes no further. Not even Phil or Nicky can hear this." He knew it would go without saying that Ikey was out of the picture too.

Owen understood Eddie's private ways after all the years they had been friends, "Then my word you shall have. What goes on with you, Eddie?"

Eddie paused and looked over at Owen trying to gauge what his reaction would be, and he struggled to say the words out loud, "Janet... Janet cheated on me."

Owen first looked surprised, but then he began to look angry, turning red at the thought, "Eddie, how can that be? You and Janet were good. You and Janet were meant to be. Eddie, this is bad. This is real bad. Why would Janet have an affair? Why?"

Eddie wasn't totally surprised by Owen's outrage, "I guess I wouldn't exactly call it an affair. It was a one-time thing. It was the day that Rory came to town. The same day I got jumped by Big Cat's goons." Eddie was picking up small stones and throwing them at the water.

Owen went on, "Please tell me you didn't find this out from Big Cat." The way Owen said this made Eddie smile slightly in spite of the seriousness of their conversation.

"No, O. Janet told me. The day of Hannah's party. She came to the hospital and told me." Eddie replied.

Owen sat there for a minute trying to put it all together in his head before going on, "She told you? I'll give her some credit for that. But why'd she do it? I really thought she loved you, man."

Eddie looked at Owen when Owen said that Janet loved him, there was anger and disbelief in his voice as he responded to Owen, "I don't know about that. How could Janet love me and do that to me?"

Owen shook his head in agreement, and Eddie continued the story, "That day had started out so good. Did you know that I was practically living at Janet's house? That day we woke up together, we had breakfast, we read the newspaper and all I could think was, wow, this is what it's like to be with someone, really be with someone. It just seemed so... easy. Normal even. All I can remember thinking that morning was, I love this woman, and I have to find the right way of letting her know that."

Owen was surprised by that last comment, "You never told Janet you loved her? Haven't you loved her pretty much from the beginning?"

Eddie raised his eyebrows at the question, "I suppose. But this relationship thing isn't something I'm very good at. I could never seem to get the words out."

Owen seemed to understand, "As a good friend once said to me... I get it. I hear you. That sucks." Owen and Eddie both half smiled at the Nick quote.

Owen went on, "I still don't get why Janet would cheat on you. I've seen the way she looks at you. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but I was sure she loved you."

And, they sat there, with their fishing polls in a comfortable silence until Eddie began talking again.

Eddie told Owen the rest of the story, "To tell you the truth, I'm still confused by what went down, but I know that I hadn't talked to Janet much the day Rory came to town. I guess Janet came by the house to see me. She was driving up right about when Rory and I kissed. Instead of asking me about it, she drove off and assumed the worst. She thought I'd chosen Rory over her." Eddie said with the sound of disbelief in his voice.

"Wait just a minute. You kissed Rory?" Owen was suddenly more confused.

"Yeah, I did. I had never expected to see Rory again. When I saw first saw her, I couldn't deny that I was still attracted to her... one thing led to another and next thing I knew I was kissing her. But, O., I knew right when it happened that I didn't want Rory. I knew that I only wanted Janet." Eddie said. "Not that it matters any more."

Owen was quiet for a few minutes, and a fish biting on his line gave him time to form his own opinion. After realizing the fish had gotten away, Owen turned his attention back to Eddie.

"Eddie, I don't know exactly how to say this to you, but... you screwed up. You cheated first." Owen said firmly to Eddie.

"Owen, I didn't cheat. I kissed Rory. It was nothing. I didn't sleep with her."

"Eddie, you're one of my best friends, but you messed up big time. Your lips should never have been anywhere near Rory Dunlop. You and Rory are legend in Knight's Ridge. Rory was the one that got away and she was the love of your life. I can understand why Janet would see you with Rory and think you and Rory had gotten back together."

"Owen, Rory Dunlop was not the love of my life. I never even loved a woman before..." Eddie was starting to get a little upset over the lack of support from Owen.

"Listen, you know that I am on your side and I, more than anyone, feel your pain. But, you're not thinking clearly. You cheated. Janet cheated. You both cheated." Owen was careful before asking one final question of Eddie, "And, tell me this, if that kiss had felt different, would you have slept with Rory? Would you have done that to Janet?"

Eddie was silent for a minute and hung his head when he admitted, "I have no idea."

Eddie had gotten it all off his chest and Owen had tried to support Eddie while giving his some honest feedback. With that they stopped talking, continued fishing, and Eddie found himself even more confused. However, if he could admit it to himself, his feelings of anger towards Janet were starting to dissipate a bit and he was suddenly feeling more empathy for her. One thing was for certain; Eddie Latekka was not going to get a good night's sleep tonight.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Janet had a stressful Sunday afternoon shift. The first half of the night she did something that Janet Meadows never did, she forgot orders and made drinks wrong. It didn't help that Ray, Matt and Ikey were hanging out laughing, playing pool, and having a good time. Janet didn't know what to think about Ray, but she felt in her bones that Matt was responsible for what happened to Matt. And, if so, she wondered how Ikey could hang out with him.

She was also trying to ignore what appeared to be a very passionate conversation happening between Ronnie and Aubrey a few tables over. She could see the romantic tie that bound those two from a mile away, but all she could think about was what would a Ronnie/Aubrey pairing do to poor Nick.

Sully had started to get upset with Janet's lack of attention and he ordered her to take off early. Janet wasn't used to messing up at work, and she knew her head was still a mess, so she did as Sully requested and went home.

When she turned down her street, Janet thought she was seeing things. Eddie's truck was parked outside of her house and as she got closer she could see him sitting on her front steps. Janet's heart started beating faster and her mind started racing. Had Eddie read the journal? Is that why he was here? How long had he been sitting there? How long would he have sat there if she didn't leave work early? Part of her wanted to keep driving for fear of the unknown. But, instead, she pulled into her driveway, got out of the car, and walked up to Eddie. Eddie glanced up at her but didn't say anything, so Janet sat down by his side. Not too close, but close enough.

They didn't speak at first, neither knowing what to say, and finally Janet broke the ice, "Hi Eddie. What are you doing here?"

Eddie looked over at her, "I'm not exactly sure. But, I wanted to give this back to you." He pulled the journal out from behind him and handed it to Janet. The tips of their fingers brushed and Janet felt the electricity as Eddie's skin briefly touched hers.

"Thank you. Um, did you read any of it, Eddie?" Janet asked quietly with a questioning look on her face.

Eddie still couldn't look at Janet, so he gazed out across her front yard before answering, "I couldn't read your journal Janet. It's not that I didn't want to. I really do want to understand where things went wrong with us. But I have always respected your privacy and that's not going to change now."

"Oh." Janet was at once pleased and disappointed. "Do you really want to understand where we went wrong, Eddie? Because we can talk, if you want to."

Eddie was slow to answer, "I'd like to know more about what happened that day. I can't promise anything except that I'll try to listen."

"Fair enough. Let me know if you want me to stop..." Janet kept looking at Eddie, trying to ensure she didn't drive him away by telling the story, "So, you know how that day started. I woke up with you. We had a great morning and I went to work happier than I've ever been before in my life." Janet looked over at Eddie, trying to see if he would give her any expression, any acknowledgment that he felt the same way. She got her answer when Eddie smiled slightly and nodded his head.

"When I went to work the first thing I heard was that Rory was in town. And then Sully and Rooster..." Janet trailed off after saying Rooster's name and instinctively touched Eddie's arm, "Sorry. Well, they started telling me all about you and Rory. How crazy you were about her. The things you would do for her. That she was the only woman who ever broke your heart. And, I was okay. It bothered me that they assumed that you felt more for Rory that you did for me, but I really tried not to let it bother me." Janet paused, and Eddie just continued to look off in the distance.

"Then I called you and you didn't tell me about Rory. I was still okay, but getting a little anxious. But then, Rory came into Sully's and..."

A surprised Eddie looked over at her and cut her off, "Rory came into Sully's?"

"Yeah. She came into Sully's, and she asked me if I knew why you were so sad. And all I could think was, how could you be sad? How could you be sad when I was so happy? And, that made me worry. Worry that you were holding out on me. That you weren't happy being with me." Tears were forming in Janet's eyes, but she was trying hard to hold them off, be strong in front of Eddie.

"Janet, I wasn't sad. I was confused seeing Rory after all those years, but I was never sad when I was with you." Eddie said quietly.

"One more thing, Eddie, Rory talked to me, but she didn't seem to know that you and I were together. Did you tell her you were with me?"

Eddie hesitated before responding, "No, I didn't. Not until after I kissed her." Eddie looked genuinely apologetic, and Janet couldn't conceal her hurt feelings. There was a measurable silence before Eddie spoke again, "So what happened next?"

"You came in for lunch and you still didn't tell me that you had seen Rory. And,..." Janet hesitated before going on. Eddie just looked at her and his eyes asked her to keep going, "you didn't kiss me goodbye. You didn't tell me you'd see me later. You didn't say, I'll call you. Eddie, we had been going out for months and you were a creature of habit. You always kissed me goodbye, told me you'd see me or that you'd call me later. And, that really got to me."

"But why didn't you ask me what went on? I could always count on you to keep me in line and call me out on anything. Why not this?"

"Because 'this' was Rory Dunlop and I am no Rory Dunlop." Janet had tears in her eyes.

"Janet you never needed to be Rory Dunlop. You have always been so much more than Rory Dunlop ever hoped to be." Eddie was starting to put the whole picture together.

Janet smiled slightly but didn't seem to buy what Eddie was saying, "I was going to ask you what went on. That's why I went to your house. I went there to talk to you. Instead, I saw you kiss her. Eddie, it broke my heart." Janet could no longer stop the tears from streaming down her face. For a split second, Eddie instinctively reached over to brush some of her tears away, before seeming to recall their breakup and pull his hand back quickly.

Eddie was starting to put the whole picture together. "I wish you had stopped your jeep, walked right up to us and hit me."

"Hit you? No, Rory Dunlop wouldn't have known what hit her." Janet said and both she and Eddie chuckled a bit.

"Eddie, I know you don't want to hear this, but I was devastated. Destroyed by what I had seen, and what I perceived it to be. I thought you had chosen Rory over me and that broke me. Eddie, I was so sad. So hurt."

Janet paused for a minute before continuing, trying to see if she was pushing it by going this far, "I called Rooster and asked him to bring me booze. I wanted the pain to go away. He brought moonshine."

"He brought you what? You called him and he brought you moonshine? I'll kill him." Eddie was mad.

"He didn't force it down my throat. I drank so much of it, but I did that all on my own. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking clearly. I knew Rooster had a thing for me so, in what may be the worst decision I've ever made in my life, I decided to throw myself at him because I thought it would make me feel better. Feel better about myself."

"Was Rousseau drunk too?" Eddie asked feeling extremely edgy. This was almost too much for him.

"No. He was perfectly sober." There was a hint of anger in Janet's voice as she related that news to Eddie.

Eddie was steaming as he heard this. Still mad at Janet, but understanding it more, and getting more furious with Rooster Rousseau. He was mad at him for sleeping with his girlfriend, but also for taking advantage of a drunk and hurting Janet.

"Eddie, I regretted it as soon as I figured out what I had done." Janet was holding her head in her hands at this point, almost feeling like she was going to be sick.

Janet and Eddie sat there, neither wanting to move, but neither knowing what else to say.

Eddie was still very confused and after a few moments he stood up and turned around to face Janet, "I'd better go." He began to walk towards his truck, but her turned around one more time to say something, "Janet, I….." Janet looked up at Eddie and gave him a weak smile. Eddie didn't say any more, he couldn't seem to find the right words. And with that Eddie got into his truck and drove off.

When he was out of sight, Janet went into her house and decided to get back to writing in her journal. When she settled on her couch and looked at her journal, she noticed something was sticking out of the book near the back. She opened her journal to the marked page and found one of Eddie's Best Friend Window's business cards. But she was more surprised to see a whole page of her journal filled with Eddie's chicken scratch handwriting.

Dear Janet,

I was watching you write your memories in this book and I got to thinking about my favorite memory. There are a lot to choose from, but I think my favorite was about two weeks ago. You had warned me before I came over that it was a 'sex is not going to happen tonight' night and that you were in a bad mood. You said you wouldn't blame me if I didn't come over at all. Maybe you didn't want me to come over, I don't really know. But that didn't stop me because I just wanted to see you, hang out with you.

When I got here, you had just gotten out of the shower. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail; you didn't have any makeup on. You were wearing sweatpants and one of my old flannel shirts. You came over, curled up next to me on the couch, kissed my neck, and then you lifted my arm and put it around you just where you wanted it to be. It felt so right to be sitting there with you by my side, my arm around you. And we just sat there. Not saying a word.

You got up to go to bed and you reached out your hand to me asking me to come with you. When I looked up at you, all I could think about was how you, Janet Meadows, were the sweetest, sexiest, most beautiful woman I had ever known. I wanted to tell you that I loved you right then and there, but once again I froze up. I started to say it but when you looked at me, I just couldn't find the words. I hope that you know it even though I can't seem to find a way to tell you.

I'm not a sad person anymore, Janet, because I have you in my life.

Love,
Eddie

Janet remembered, right away, the night that Eddie must have written this entry. And it hit her that by putting his business card in the journal he had wanted her to find it now. She just sat there, stunned, as she read the words over and over. Eddie loved her. And, he wanted her to know it. Where things went from here, Janet had no idea, but for now she was left with something she hadn't felt in weeks... Janet Meadows once again had hope.