Jack Sparrow
After leaving Georgetown a week or so ago, we'd finally made it safe and sound to Tortuga. We almost didn't make it, for we were hit with two tropical storms while we were traveling. Two of me crewmen were thrown overboard when an enormous wave came crashing onto the deck of the Pearl, but by some miracle, we'd managed to save them. To make matters even worse, I almost lost me hat! That would have been bad…very bad. I hope that all of this grief we went through just to get to Tortuga to see some treasure-hogging wench is all worth it…There will be great hell to pay if this is all some sort of game just so that some wench could have her way with me…better yet, maybe that wouldn't be so bad as long as I can have my God given right to have my way with her…
It was nearly sunset. I ordered the crew to stock the ship and make necessary repairs. I put Pintel and Ragetti in charge of overlooking the carrying out of my orders. I was weary about letting those two idiots in charge, but after witnessing their heroism during the storm, my confidence in their pirate-ethics has changed…only a little.
"Gibbs!" I called as I walked over to my trusty first mate.
"Aye Capn'!"
"Would you join me in some much needed rum drinking and wench seeking for the next few hours?"
Gibb's eyes lit up with delight. "By wench seeking, ya mean findin' fair lasses n' spendin' some much needed 'quality' time with 'em?" I frowned at him, for I did not mean that. The thought of him actually engaging in certain unholy frivolities with women nearly made me gag. He's much too old and fugly for that kind fun, not to mention, he's not so strikingly handsome like me…if I do say so meself.
"No Mr. Gibbs." I replied knowingly. Gibb's elated smile turned into a disappointed frown.
"Oh. Then what did ya mean, Jack?"
"I need you to help me find someone…"
Gibbs looked at me confusedly. "A lass? Surely ya don't need me ta help ya find any lass. Ye've been doin' that without me help for quite sometime now. I'm sure you'll be able ta find 'er on yer own."
I was flattered by his compliment. "Of course, Mr. Gibbs, I do not need help from you or anyone for that matter in finding a girl...or any wench. They seek me out before I seek them out, savvy?"
Gibbs nodded in agreement. I stepped closer to him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"I need you to help me find a very special lass, mate. You see, I was told that she has great knowledge about the locations of vast treasures around the world."
Gibb's eyes lit up with excitement. "Treasure, aye?"
"Aye. But we must be careful around her, mate. Legend has it; the wench is very dangerous. Many a man who has spent some time with her has mysteriously vanished."
Gibb's elated smile turned into a look of pure fear. "Well maybe we shouldn't be seekin' out such a murderous wench."
I placed a comforting hand on my first mate's shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry mate, I won't allow her to do anything to us. You see, I plan on seducing her before she seduces me."
Gibbs looked at me doubtfully. "If you say so, Jack, but I must warn ye…if she puts a hand on either one o' us, we'll be scarred with bad luck for the rest o' our lives."
I laughed at his ridiculous superstition. "Come on mate, let's go to the pub. We both need some rum."
After a few minutes, we reached the pub. I scanned the area, looking for a woman who stood out in the crowd. Unfortunately, I couldn't find her. I decided to ask the barmaid if she knew of this mysterious woman.
"Excuse me Miss, but I would like to ask you something." I said to a blonde, curly haired barmaid. She smiled and walked closer to me. When she leaned over the counter, I got a pleasant view of her voluptuous bosom.
"Well hello there. How may I be of service to you?" She asked flirtatiously.
I returned her flirtations and squinted my eyes. "I just wanted to ask you a question."
She leaned closer to my face and whispered seductively. "Are you sure you want to ask me just one measly question? I'm sure I could be of pleasurable service to you."
My smile broadened even more. I knew exactly what she could do for me, but unfortunately, I did not have the time to entertain her desires. "I'm very sure you can, lass, but I must decline your offer. You see, I've come to find this woman who claims that she knows the locations of all the treasures of the world. Do you know where I may find her?"
The barmaid's eyes lit up with excitement as if she was waiting for me to mention the woman.
"Aye…ya mean Lady Sapphire. She's here…but I must warn ya, she has a horrible reputation of seducing men and making them disappear once she's through with 'em."
I smiled at her words. "Darling, I'm not concerned about that, you see I will be the one seducing and doing what-not first." I then leaned closer to her face. "Do you not know who I am?"
The woman smiled and traced my lips with her fingers. "Aye, you're none other than Captain Jack Sparrow. You're a legend around here. Why do you think I offered myself to you?"
I smiled and lifted her chin. "Aye love, and don't you forget it. If I'm in town next time, I'll make sure I come seek you out so that you can offer your body to me again."
The woman blushed and giggled. "Now, point me in the direction of this mysterious Lady Sapphire…" I said as I took a step back. The woman pointed to the back of the room. I noticed a tall man towering over a very beautiful, dark-haired young woman.
I suddenly saw his large hand rise as if he was going to hit her. When I looked closely at the woman's face, I recognized her.
"Ivy…" I said as I ran over to where they stood…
Ivy Rae
My ears picked up this bit of conversation, for I knew it was about me. "Lady Sapphire" was the nickname Beth had come up with when she'd started spreading the rumor for me. I looked up and there he was: Captain Jack Sparrow. Here to whisk me away and save me, just like my own slightly off version of a Cinderella story. Sure, he was certainly no prince. He was a pirate lord. And my evil stepmother was actually my real mother and Tortuga was certainly no castle, but I'm not picky. I quickly looked away as Beth started to talk to me. I didn't want to gawk at the captain, even if he was quite handsome. I didn't want to feed his already huge ego.
So, instead I yawned and leaned against the wall behind me as I sat on the bar which Beth was attempting to clean around me.
"Must you insist on sitting there?" Beth asked for the umpteenth time this week.
"Yes, I must. It's quite comfortable," I replied smirking. By now I was sure the other pirate had pointed my dear Jack in my direction, and I wanted to look as nonchalant as possible.
"Could you be comfy...elsewhere? For example, on a stool like the rest of the bloody world. Also known as people who aren't entirely mad."
"Oh ha, ha, Beth. What's got your knickers in a bunch, hmm?"
"Don't even start with me, Ivy Rae!"
"Good Lord, you sound like my mother!"
We were only teasing each other really. And besides, Beth is so fun to annoy! I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't stop smiling, trying to keep myself from laughing, as I was aware by now that more an more men from the tavern were watching us in amusement. It's one of the reasons Beth keeps me around: Even though I know I annoy the hell out of her, I'm still her best friend (and she's mine), and because I tend to draw attention to myself because I so adore being in the limelight (my father always told me I should be in theater), I draw in crowds. Crowds, means money. Money means a happy Beth. A happy Beth, means a happy Ivy because I get to stick around, for free.
"Would you two kindly shut it!?" Uh oh. That's Captain Blade Armstrong. He's about 6'5", well built, and down right scary looking. And his temper is even scarier. He's the only man in Tortuga who has a problem with Beth and I. And also the only man besides my fiancé to ever lay a non-friendly (or, um, friendlier) hand on me. But I don't show him I'm scared. I'm too stubborn to show my fear.
"Oh, I'm sorry Captain Blade. Are we bothering you?"
"Very much so," he got up and started over to me.
Oh bloody hell! I gulped silently and hopped off the bar. He's a full foot and two inches taller than me so I had to sort of look up at him, but I still had what my mother called, The Look. Chest out, shoulders back, stand tall, eyes narrowed, lips pursed and speak clearly and articulate. The lady's way of threatening a man. And right now I was informing the whole damned tavern that I was taught to be a lady and I'm not afraid to use my powers to get my way. I swallowed my fears and put on this Look.
"Well Captain Armstrong, I apologize for making you feel perturbed. I assure you such actions of entertainment for the rest of these fine gentlemen will continue once you exit the premises." He paused, obviously taking a moment to catch up with me. Hey, I said he was scary, not smart.
"Wench! Did you just kick me out?!" God he IS slow!
"No, sir. Merely stating that you shouldn't talk to a lady the way you are now and if you would kindly be a bit, well, kinder, I'm sure we can get through this night without any casualties." He took another moment to catch up. Bloody hell it's easy to have a battle of wits against someone without a weapon.
"Lady? You? Ha! I don't see no ladies in this bar." I couldn't hold my tongue any longer and I would regret what slipped out next.
"Then apparently you haven't looked in a mirror lately good sir." The tavern started laughing and I smirked to cover up the fact that I was terrified of what he would do.
"I'll show you your place, bitch!" he raised his hand. He was going to hit me! But I would take it like the purely bred lady I am. But then he never did. Another hand grabbed his fist.
"You don't want to be doing that, mate," I heard a voice say. I looked around Captain Blade to see Jack and couldn't help but smile at my savior.
Jack Sparrow
I quickly grabbed the man's hand before he could strike Ivy. When he turned around, I immediately knew who it was. It was none other than eunuchy Captain Blade Armstrong. There was no time for a friendly greeting. He looked at me angrily and attempted to hit me with his other hand, which I also grabbed.
"Well if it ain't my dear ol' best mate Captain Blade Armstrong…how've you been?"
He eyed me with hate. "What's it to you, Sparrow?"
"It's Captain Sparrow, Captain Blade. Do we not need to school you on pirate etiquette? You must always address a Captain when he's in your presence."
He flashed an evil grin. "Well I don't see another Capn' in 'ere besides me! And from whot I see afore me, there's no Capn'!" He laughed. I laughed with him and twisted his arms even more. He winced in pain.
"Let go of me you rogue!" He sneered.
I grinned and tightened my grip around his arms. "No…you see it's not nice to hit a woman…especially one that is a dear friend of mine, savvy?"
His face twisted in agony as I began to bend his hands backwards. I was not going to stop until I heard a bone crack. "Now tell me, why were you going to hit this beautiful lass?"
"She…she's no lass! She's a greedy, no good bloody whore!" He shouted. I took that opportunity and began cracking his fingers. He yelped in agony…pathetic ass.
"You do know that I could very well break your arms and leave you walking out of here crippled for life? Or better yet, I could break your legs and have you slither out of here like the snake that you are for being disrespectful to a female!"
The man's face grew red with anger. "Piss off, bloke!"
"Aww, so now you want to call me names, how kind of you." I quickly let go of his arms and pulled out my pistol. Just before he could react, I moved Ivy out of the way and shoved the barrel of the gun to his face. He immediately stopped and held out his hands to surrender. I signaled for Ivy to grab his swords and guns from his holster.
He sneered and started laughing.
"What're ya gonna do Sparrrow? Shoot me? Blow me brain out right in front of ya lady love so that her pretty lil' dress can be ruined?" He then leaned in closer. "You wouldn't dare."
I nearly passed out from the stench of his foul breath. I quickly recovered and pressed the barrel even harder against his face. I looked at Ivy, who took it upon herself to point the Captain's gun at his privates. She looked at me and winked her eye. I tried not to laugh.
"Try me…" I replied venomously. I made sure I kept contact with his eyes, for I knew that if he saw how serious I was, he would eventually back down.
After a few moments, he backed away, still holding his hands up. He glanced at Ivy, who still had the gun pointed at his unmentionables.
"It seems to me that you still owe this young lass an apology." I replied with a sarcastic grin. He looked at Ivy with distaste. He sneered and spat on the floor next to her feet. She jumped back in disgust.
"Now, now come on Captain, that wasn't very nice. Stop acting like a spoiled lil' brat. Now tell the lass that you're sorry for disrespecting her."
"Ha! I will not! Captain Blade Armstrong never apologizes to any wench!"
"Well you will to this one, or else…" Ivy said as she cocked her pistol and pointed it right at his goods.
Fear immediately washed over his face. He looked at me and then shifted his gaze to Ivy, who had a determined look on her face.
"Ha! She wouldn't!" He sneered.
Ivy glared at him and smiled. "You really think I'm joking? Alright then, I'll show you that I mean business!" She then took a shot between his legs, barely grazing his crotch. He shrieked and jumped as he shifted his horrified gaze between us. Ivy's actions took me by great surprise…in fact; it damn well aroused me…
I tried to hold my laugh, but I couldn't. I pressed my gun against his forehead and eyed him threateningly. "Now apologize to her or else I will make sure that her shot will hit the intended target!"
Captain Armstrong shifted his gaze to Ivy. "I'm sorry…lass…" He replied breathlessly.
"Tisk tisk, you will address her by her name. Say I'm sorry Miss Ivy Rae." I replied through gritted teeth.
He rolled his eyes and grunted. "I'm sorry Miss Ivy Rae. Please forgive me for my rudeness."
Ivy smiled. "You are forgiven Captain Armstrong." She then looked at me and nodded. I knew exactly what she was thinking.
"You are free to leave now, Captain. It was a great pleasure seeing you again…now off you go." I replied sweetly as I removed my gun away from his forehead and shooed him away. He slowly lowered his hands and straightened himself.
"What about me weapons? I need 'em back!" He demanded.
I smiled and took one step closer to him. "The weapons are no longer yours…they belong to the lass now."
He glowered at me and then looked at Ivy, who smiled and curtsied. "Thank you very much for your gift."
He shook his head and with a final defeated grunt, he left. Just before he reached the door, Ivy looked at me with a wicked grin. She cocked her pistol and took two shots at Captain Blade's legs, but she purposely missed them. He jumped and quickly ran out the door as everyone in the pub erupted in laughter. Ivy blew on the barrel of the gun and winked at me. I smiled and winked back, but my smile soon turned into a stern frown when I realized that she'd tricked me.
Once all the ruckus died down, Ivy turned to me. She frowned when she noticed the serious expression on my face.
"So…you're the infamous Lady Sapphire, I presume."
Ivy widened her eyes. "Yes, I am. As a matter of fact, Jack I want to explain that…"
I put my hand up. "So, this was all a trick? You devised a clever plan to lure me all the way to Tortuga…and for nothing!"
"But Jack…" She interrupted.
"It's Captain Sparrow to you." I replied with slight anger in my tone.
I was not angry with her. In fact, I was pretty damn impressed by her cleverness and tact. She knows me pretty damn well...She knew that I couldn't resist treasure hunting and especially a challenge of a woman. Clever girl. I wanted to play a trick on her…make her think that I'm angry so that I can have the upper hand.
She placed her hand on my arm and looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry Jack."
I tried not to laugh. I kept my stern expression. "Come, we'll discuss this on the Pearl." I said as I turned around and began walking. A few moments later, I heard her footsteps walking behind me. I couldn't help put to smile. "Works every time…" I thought as we made our way out of the pub and down the road…