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5: Broken Mould: Letting Go.

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Throwing himself into his own car he headed for the beach, really he had no idea where he would find her but if Embry and Quil had seen her there this morning it was a good place to start.

First place he headed was the tree, their tree. He hadn't been back there since the day Sam and Charlie found him drunk months after Bella had left with no word.

She wasn't there but she had been.

Jacob loosened his tie. He was so hot, he was burning up. He looked around scanning the beach; there wasn't anyone around as far as he could see.

Deflated he sat on the twisted, sun bleached tree and cradled his head in his hands. Why was he doing this too himself? If he had found her what would he have actually said? What did he want her to say? Resigned he let out a deep breath. Didn't she want to stop him? Did she feel nothing for him now?

The wind changed direction, and his eyes zeroed in on her, sitting further up the beach by the tidal pools, he could see a small fire.

Jacob headed in a straight line along the beach, arms trembling. He stopped fifteen foot or so behind her.

"There's a penalty for lighting bonfires on the beach without permission now, you know." Startled she turned to look at him, his heart clenched painfully in his chest. She had been crying, he could tell, he always knew. He watched her reach for a handful of sand.

"Sorry, I'll just – I didn't know." He waved it off,

"Doesn't matter, I don't get questioned." He swallowed worried her was, as always too relaxed in her presence. "What's the point of being able to make the rules if I can't break them?" She swallowed this time and looked away from him,

"That's very true." She smiled a small smile, not willing to meet his gaze. "You shouldn't be here Jake." Jake didn't answer her. His jaw was set, teeth clenched tight. "Shouldn't you be getting ready or something?" He shook his head not really wanting to comment,

"I have some time, Bells." She nodded, breaking a small twig between her fingers, before tossing it into the fire her knees drawn up against her chest, Jacob wondered if it was a similar action to her winding her arms around her chest.

"Congratulation's by the way." She glanced at him as he sat down on the sand next to her then at the horizon. He just nodded.

"Why didn't you call?" She laughed.

"Don't sugar coat it Jake." He wasn't relaxed enough to find her funny.

"I won't." She sighed,

"There are alot of reasons." Jake didn't look at her even though he wanted to, desperately.

"That's ok. Just tell me the main one." She nodded once. She had to think about that, they sat silently for a moment while she thought.

"I was a coward." She took a deep breath, "I didn't want to face the I-told-you-so's. If I had called you I would have come home and I wasn't ready for that. I'm ready now, Jake." Jake went to rebuff her, his fist clenched arms trembling, did she really think she could just walk back into his life. He was on his feet again ready to walk away.

"Still you should have called." Her lips pulled into a tight line.

"I thought face to face would be better." She looked at him, square in the eye, "It doesn't matter what's changed, I'll always be your best friend and no one will ever be able to replace you, even if you never speak to me again, there's nothing you could say, nothing you could do that I couldn't forgive." She pulled her cell from the pocket of her hoodie, "I gotta go." She stood up, "I'll see you around, Jake." She kicked sand over the small fire then turned to face him. Cautiously she stepped forwards into his space and slowly brought her hands up to his tie and fixed it, straightening it. She chuffed a laugh and stepped back, looking up at him.

"I always thought you'd look good in a suit." She nodded accenting her belief and smiled wryly. "Have a good day, Jake." She squeezed his hand and he just watched her as she walked away from him and he had no clue if he should say anything, Jacob Black was shocked to silence. He could feel she meant it.

Shell-shocked he walked back to his car and drove to the church, everyone was waiting on him. Tess was waiting for him.

Stepping into the isle at the front of the church, the church she'd been dragging him to every Wednesday and Sunday since they got together. Jake saw her mother talking to the minister toward the back, or was it the front he could never really decide which way round it was.

Standing uncomfortably at the 'front' with Embry to his side he remained silent.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I have the rings?" Embry joked giving him a nudge.

Jacob rolled his eyes,

"No. There's a reason I gave them to you not Quil." Quil huffed.

The wedding march kicks up and Jake forces himself to face forward, he can hear every step she makes toward him, every rustle of the dress against itself, against her. He can smell how nervous she is, it's bordering on pure fear, he wonders if the other wolves can smell it too.

Her father deposits her hand in his and Jake stands their unfeeling, unmoved by her blush, her dark flawless complexion. He ignored her nervous sigh and the nervous sweat that's broken out on the palm of her hand. The artificial nails that he hates the smell of, that tare at his back with their sharp, unnatural, square edge's while they make love and he wonders how she never questions his healing capability. He listens as she utters the word's after the minister and when its Jacob's turn he doesn't even realise.

He's frozen in time.

Seven years ago to be exact, sitting on a tarp looking at a broken girl. He was wondering how it had come to this. How it was that he was standing here next to someone else, how he was standing here at all. The minister prompts Jake again and Embry gives him a shove. Jake realises that he's standing here next to the wrong girl and that even if Bella wasn't the one he knew that Tess wasn't either.

The minister calls his name a third time and Tess squeezes his arm, vying for his attention. "This is all wrong." He mutters. It's the first time he looks up to the girl, see's her eyes, the dark green against her tan skin.

"I'm sorry, Tess – This, this is all… wrong." He turns on his heels and stride's down the isle alone, working off the tie in the process before discarding it on the isle behind him.

None of it is right.

He should be standing on the beach being married, bare chest, bare foot next to a woman much shorter than him, who is also bare foot, wearing a simple gown, freshly showered, her hair still damp. Not sewn into miles of satin which he has no idea how to get into.

Where the desire to get into it is long gone, was never really there. The only thing he can think of is Bella, every word she ever said as he is literally ripping the shirt from his chest not undoing the buttons, not bothering to strip and roll his trousers, he hated them anyway. He was Forks bound now on four legs, damn did it feel good to run this free after this long, he didn't care of the consequences because the relief he felt from running, from knowing he wasn't going to come across her as a vampire was euphoric.

Reaching her kitchen door he yanked it open, he knew she was there, she was alone. He tried to rationalise that it was for the tribe's safety.

Pure untainted Bells, he could smell it on every surface. She was in the back rooms. She didn't call out or anything, typical Bella, just moves toward the possible threat.

"Bells."

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