Disclaimer: If I had the rights to Harry... I'd be rich!

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Chapter VI: A One-Shot Interlude

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Despite the fact that the story had left off with it being the first day, snow was now softly falling from the heavens, and landing softly on the ground to create soft, white blankets all around the area to make it look softer. The lake was frozen over, and the sun was creating a soft glow on the icy waters. A soft breeze danced softly through the sky. Everything was just so... soft. So in the words of anyone who has actually read something like this before (which is probably everyone): how cliché... and soft.

Hermione Granger sat by the side of the lake, completely ignoring the fact that it was freezing out, and sitting outside in the middle of winter isn't the smartest of ideas. Then again, it was Christmas, and Hermione loved to be by herself by the lake during that time of the year... y'know, instead of being around friends and family. It's a little strange that she's not at the Burrow, but Ron was being a douchebag, and decided not to invite her. Why didn't Ginny invite her? The author has no answer. It's also strange that she didn't go home to see her family, but when does Hermione ever do that? But the strangest thing of all was...

"Hey, what the hell? I'm not hot anymore!" Hermione cried, looking down at her plain appearance. How right you are - HOAR-Mione is rarely found in one-shots, considering that her hotness can not be explained in just one chapter alone (even though most are abandoned one chapter in... how 'terrible'...). It should also be noted that Hermione is quite brilliant once more, and is able to think again (except for maybe the 'sitting outside in zero degree weather' - not one of her brightest moments, but we can let it slide... this time). Now all you 'we-love-Hermione-when-she-is-a-know-it-all-in-character-bookworm' fans are probably all jumping for joy. It kind of makes me sad to know that all your hopes and dreams will probably be crushed by the end of this... (Keyword(s): kind of.)

"Yeah, and I'm not depressed!" Malfoy added, randomly jumping out of a tree. Whoa, he sure does like to pop up at random times... And he just so happens to be in the same place Hermione is at this very moment in time... Odd... "Actually... I feel sort of... normal... Is it possible? Do I actually have control of my life again?" Tears of happiness began to build-up in his eyes. Sigh. It makes me a little sad that I have to tell him that, no, he doesn't have control. (Keyword(s): a little.) But actually, alot of one-shots are in-character (at first) - they're just so horribly rushed and unrealistic that they are considered cliché in my eyes. Honestly, do you really think Hermione and Malfoy would be able to fall in love in one chapter? Well, there are those ridiculous ones that spawn out through years...

"Malfoy!" Hermione cried, glaring at him as he approached.

"Well, well, well, what a surprise," he said with a sneer, using his ever-so-clever 'well, well, well' line once again. He's so imaginative. "Granger."

"Why do you always have to suddenly be where I am, and talk to me? Don't you have a life?"

"No... Anyway, what are you doing here? Not that I really care, but we need to keep this moving, and that is just something I must know everytime we have one of these 'coincidental' encounters."

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing? I'm just sitting here."

"I meant what are you doing here on Christmas...? What the hell? I thought you were suppose to be smart again."

"Oh," she mumbled, turning away from him. Her shoulders suddenly began to shake, and Malfoy could hear her silently sobbing - he must have some awesome ears! His icy heart immediately melted at the sight, even though... he has seen her cry a bunch of others times, and didn't give a flying fuck about it then. But today was different! Today was Christmas!

"What's the matter, Her- Granger?" Malfoy asked, plopping down beside her. He was a little scared at the fact that he almost called her 'Hermione'. No, no. He must not do that. Calling her by her real name - even though 'Granger' is apart of her real name - would totally destroy the whole Slytherin-Gryffindor-last-name-bases code. Not to mention bring to light the... horrible truth. A truth so horrible, so terrible, so horrendous... that the author doesn't even know what she's talking about. But now we're getting off track, and need to keep going to get to the fluff that is usually reserved for those 'very original' Romione one-shots where they're sitting in the common room, doing homework, and Ron randomly decides to confess his love to her... THOSE SUCK SO MUCH...! Um... puffy fluffy!

Hermione would usually tell Malfoy to get lost, but this time it was different - it was Christmas! - and Hermione sort of liked his company. She felt warm and comfortable around him, and decided to spill her heart and soul out to him about problems she hadn't even told the people she had known for six years.

"Oh Malfoy, I'm so sad," she began with a sniff. "I didn't get invited anywhere for Christmas, and- wait... didn't it just say I liked to be alone on Christmas?" Times have changed! Just roll with it! "Oh, alright! Ahem, anyway... I didn't get invited anywhere, and now I'm stuck here. Ron didn't want to invite me because he's a jerky ginger, and my mum and dad have gone to visit relatives in America. Now it's kind of weird that they wouldn't invite me seeing as how I'm their only child, and it's my family too, but is there ever a legit explanation as to why I never go home for the holidays? Not even Victor invited me anywhere because he was falsly informed that I was pregnant, and now he wants nothing to do with me! He also said something about 'Ron' and 'death threats' and 'to get help', but I know it's just because he thinks I'm gross..."

Malfoy wasn't sure if it was the cold that made him think it, or the five bottles of Butterbeer he drank right before going out there - since Butterbeer is obviously an alcoholic beverage that the Wizarding World feel is okay to sell to minors - but he couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked at that moment. Even though her nose was running, her face was flushed, and her hair had seen better days, Malfoy thought she was gorgeous. Now the author is even starting to think that this is cute, and better quickly have Hermione cover her face with her palms before she goes 'aww' again... So Hermione did just that.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Gra..." Malfoy hesitated - the moment of truce had arrived. Screw the code! He could fight it no longer! Weakling. "...Hermione."

Hermione looked up from her hands, startled. However, a small smile soon began to spread across her lips. "Oh Draco, you said my first name - that automatically means you have deep, loving feelings for me! Now I've said your first name, so that means I love you back! And that means we're in love with each other! Oh Draco, hold me..."

Hermione practically threw herself at him. Everything had happened so fast - a little too fast, to be honest - that Draco was mildly surprised at her clinging to him for dear life. His stiff physique disappeared, though, when he got a whiff of her bushy-brown hair that smelled like books, even though books don't smell all that great... Her brown-eyes that reminded him of chocolate, honey, dirt, cardboard, wood, leave-less trees, the tan skin he longed for so he didn't look like an albino, and anything else that is brown gazed up in to his icy blue-orbs (i no thy r gray but blue is sexy-er). They instantly felt connected to each other.

"Hermione, I... I love you. It only took me one-third of a chapter to realize it, but I know it is true."

"I love you too, Draco!" she squealed. "Even though you have spent the first six years at Hogwarts calling me a 'mudblood' and tormenting me and my friends, I knew it was just because you were brainwashed by your mean, mean dad to think such things!"

"Yes, and even though I have actually said such horrible things, even going so far as to wishing you were killed by the heir of Slytherin in our second year, it was just a way to cover up my true feelings for you!"

"I'm just going to ignore what you said then, and only actually get mad at the fact that Harry and Ron didn't tell me you said that when they were impersonating Crabbe and Goyle that one time, for one hour. Now how I know you said that when they were in disguise just shows how smart I am, and the fact that you're the one who told me this shows me who the real honest and good people are in my life, who only want what is best for me. I would also like to take the time to apologize for slapping you that one time during our third year, but it was only an act to fool my so-called friends. Furthermore, I... Draco?"

Hermione looked at him with creased eyebrows. He was now fast asleep, lightly snoring, and a trail of drool hanging from his chin; looks like Hermione still hasn't lost her trait of talking too much, and putting people to sleep with boredom. Feeling extremely annoyed, Hermione shoved him roughly and he awoke with a start, mumbling something about 'ponies' and 'UFOs'.

"Listen to me when I am talking to you!" Hermione growled.

"Er, sorry..."

"As you should be..." There was an awkward pause. "Now what?"

"I think we're suppose to kiss."

"Um... alright... what do we do first?"

"I think I sort of just..."

"No, wait. That doesn't seem-"

"Yeah, yeah! I just sort of-"

"Ow! You're hurting me!"

"Oops, sorry!"

Both Hermione and Draco stopped moving to see what they had accomplished... er, hadn't accomplished. Draco was tugging at Hermione's hair, his other hand roaming underneath her shirt. Hermione had both her hands on Draco's chest, and was pushing him away, her teeth gritted together. They also seemed to be wearing the other person's clothes... Draco looked down at the skirt around his waist. "Now how did we manage that one?"

Hermione wiggled her way away from Draco, and stood up, his clothes hanging loosely off her. "This isn't working!" she cried in despair. "Honestly, I thought you were the Slytherin Sex God, and yet you don't even know how to kiss?"

"I don't even know which bloody fanfiction author started that crap!" Draco retorted, getting up, and placing his hands on his hips in a very feminine fashion; Hermione's clothes clung to his body rather tightly, but he didn't seem to mind... um... "I have never had sex, let alone kissed anyone! I mean, I did kiss Pansy once, but I try to suppress it because it was just so unpleasant. What's your excuse, bitch?"

"If you must know, I have never kissed anyone either! Well... I did kiss this random OC once, but I try to forget about it because he ra- oh wait." She blushed. "That's for later." There was another moment of silence. "Well what are we suppose to do? It isn't good enough without the sloppy, yet 'romantic', kiss we share."

"Look, we can just... improvise."

"How, exactly...?"

Draco thought for a second. "Um... er... uh... urgh... hmph..."

"You make weird noises when you think-"

"I got it! How about we just take a flashback of you kissing that guy, and me kissing Pansy, and we can morph them together, and change the background, and, and-"

"That will never work," Hermione grumbled, thinking 'oh-so-logically'. "We should just practice tonight, and come back here tomorrow, and-"

"No! It won't be the same... tomorrow is not Christmas..."

"Oh, you're right... want to just try it again?"

"Okay. But let's go slower this time."

So once again, they began to inch closer to eachother, going half the speed they went the first time. And yet, once again, they failed miserably at their goal. By the end of it, Draco was lying on his stomach on the ground, his arms and legs twisted in ways arms and legs shouldn't twist. Hermione was hanging in a tree by her collar, a large wad of bubble gum stuck in her hair. Draco looked up at her with a grimace, watching her struggle with the sticky mess. After a few minutes, she sighed dramatically, and pulled out a pair of scissors from her hair. Hermione saw Draco's shocked expression right away (since she gained back the 72 percent of noticing things in an instant). She gave him a funny look. "What?"

"You just pulled that out of your hair!"

"Yeah... so? My hair isn't big and bushy for no reason." Draco shook his head, and placed his face back in to the snow, too weak to ask questions. Hermione snipped the gum out of her hair, but failed to get all of it. It only took a few seconds, though, before the gum got absorbed in to her head, and the strands of hair it was once stuck too became bigger and bushier. Smiling with satisfaction, she stuck the scissors back in to her hair, and looked down at Draco. Snapping off a close-by branch, she began to poke him. "Hey! Get up! We still have to kiss!" He remained motionless. "Draco...? Hello...? Uh oh..."

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"Thanks for saving us, Giant Squid," said Draco to the massive animal in front of him. "The author is too lazy to actually come up with a reason as to what you actually did, but all that matters is that it was implied, and me and Hermione are safe."

"No problem," the Giant Squid replied, it's large tentacles flailing around. "Now remember: bring me the entire body."

"We will," Hermione and Draco said in unison. The Giant Squid patted them both on the head, and dove back in to the lake. Anywho, now that that random and completely unneeded scene is over, it's time to get back to the matter at hand. Oh joy...

"Okay," Hermione began with a deep breath. "Let's try-"

"No way! I'd rather marry Harry Potter then deal with that crap again!" That can be arranged. "We are doing my idea, and I don't care what you say!

"Fine!" Hermione screamed, throwing her hands in the air with defeat. Draco blinked with surprise.

"Really? Wow, that was easy..."

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"My nose isn't that big," Hermione mumbled, pointing at the computer screen. "And there wasn't that much snow. You do know that you really suck at photo shop, right?"

Draco glared at her. They were sitting in the computer section of the library, Draco trying to make a decent picture of Hermione and him kissing. However, both of their flashbacks had been horrible, and the only decent shots of them was Draco looking completely disgusted and the back of Hermione's head, considering during the rest of the shots the random OC was practically eating her face. It's curious as to why she was complaining about her nose since here face could not be seen, but then again, Draco really did suck at photo shop. But now the author is confused, because she doesn't remember Hogwarts ever having a computer section.

"Because we don't," that Pince lady informed her. Huh... hm...

Hermione watched her newfound boyfriend, and felt completely turned on by how concentrated and dedicated he looked. Hell, she would have done him right then and there if it wasn't for the librarian watching them. 'What a pervert.' Suddenly, she decided to ask the question she had been wondering for the past four seconds. "Draco... I told you why I was here on Christmas... but why are you?"

Draco stopped, his face blank. "Is it ever explained why?"

"No..."

"Right... I have no idea."

"Draco... why were you hiding in a tree at the beginning of this chapter?"

"I was sort of just... there..." He began to dart his eyes around nervously; she was asking too many questions. Get it? Too? Two? Yeah, me neither...

"And why haven't you said anything about changing our clothes back?"

"Why haven't you?" he shot back at her, a bead of sweat dripping from his forehead.

"Touché," she replied. "But... you're the one in the skirt-"

"Just be quiet!" Draco hissed, obviously hiding something. "Sheesh, didn't it just say 'question' a few paragraphs ago? Yeah 'question'! 'Question' is not plural!"

"Fine, fine..." Hermione looked at her hands. "I mean, if you like wearing skirts, I won't judge you-"

"You like to push things, don't you?" Hermione nodded her head with enthusiasm. Draco became nervous, but was relieved to see he was done with the picture, and could change the subject. "How's that?" he questioned when he had finished, looking over his shoulder at the girl he loved with all heart, even though she was annoying him like crazy at the moment. How OoC of him...

Hermione scanned the picture. "It works. Nothing great, but passable." Draco clapped his hands with delight, and printed out the magical picture. She looked at him seriously. "You never answered-"

"Be quiet!"

"Shut your damn mouth!" Pince screamed from across the room.

The Picture Scene.

Draco walked up to the back of Hermione's head - actually, he sort of jumped to her, because he didn't seem to know how to work his legs properly - a giant nose sticking out of her hair. His face looked like he was smelling something nasty, and the outline of both of their bodies was jagged and badly painted on to match the background, which was white with a bunch of black dots for snowflakes. There also seemed to be no ground. Sadly, the author can not paint because her mouse is terrible, so she can not give you a physical visual. But yeah... it was pretty bad.

Hermione heard him coming, and turned around. Where her face usually was, it was a round, completely black oval. She simply stood up, and hopped over to him in the same manner. They looked at eachother... I think... before both of their bodies tilted to the side, and their heads touched.

End of Picture Scene.

Wow... that sucked! Hermione actually thought that was passable? W-T-F...? Whatever. We need to move on already... But still... my goodness...

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The week passed, and it was complete bliss for the both of them, Hermione never learning what Draco was hiding... for now... Nobody else was at the castle because they all had lives, so they were free to openly express their love, and even got around to learning how to kiss. Thank God. However, just as quickly as it had started, it had ended, and the students came back from their break. Draco and Hermione had to resort to being sworn enemies once more (even though it's Draco and Harry who are the sworn enemies, but whatever), because they were scared of what their peers would think, and they didn't want to be judged. Their relationship had to be private, and that meant ten minutes of steamy, hot snogging in random broom cupboards from time to time. Finally, Hermione got fed up with the secrets and lies.

"I am fed up with these secrets and lies!" she yelled one day, finishing two minutes before their ten minutes were up. Draco was very distressed by her abrupt stop, because he wanted to keep at it. Ho, ho, ho. Draco, you rascal, you. "I can't keep doing this! Draco... I think it's time we tell everyone that we're dating!"

"With you yelling like that, we won't have to," Draco hissed. "Now what are you talking about? Doesn't the danger of sneaking around, and the thrill of almost getting caught turn you on?"

"No..."

"Oh... so it's just me?"

"Yes! Now if you don't do this for me, I'll tell everyone you had your way with me without my consent, and that you have a little package."

"What the fu-"

"Then it's settled - we'll announce it tomorrow morning!" Hermione said gleefully, skipping out of the closet. Draco shook his head, remaining in the closet... nothing was meant to be implied here!

"Damn, that girl is nuts..." He looked at his watch. "And we still have fifty-eight seconds left!"

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So the next day, Hermione and Draco stood in the Entrance Hall, ready to tell the world of their relationship. Draco was extremely scared, but Hermione looked like she could touch the sky. Snatching his wrist, Hermione forcefully pulled him in to the Great Hall. All the students stopped eating and talking, and turned to them silently... which is a little too convenient, but whatever. Hermione grabbed Draco's hand and threw it in the air as if declaring him champion of something.

"DRACO MALFOY AND I ARE DATING!" she screamed with happiness. Even though it was pretty silent before, now it was so silent that you could hear a pin drop, which wasn't much of a difference. Satisfied, Hermione dragged Draco over to the Gryffindor table, and had him sit down with her, Harry, Ron and Ginny. He looked completely uncomfortable.

Once they had sat down, the Great Hall went back to it's usual... loudness, their announcement the new hot topic of discussion.

"So what?" Lavender grumbled.

"Yeah, seriously. They've already yelled that fifty times before in other pointless one-shots. I'm sick of hearing it," Parvati added, rolling her eyes.

"And do they have to do the whole 'walk in to the Great Hall, tell everyone the big news, and sit together at the same table' routine every time?" Oliver mumbled, only in this story because he is one sexy man.

"Really now, I didn't make such a fuss when I confessed I was gay," Neville said. Everybody looked at him curiously.

"You're gay?"

"Um... Wow, Dramione sure is one hell of a ship, heh heh... heh..." And with that, Neville bolted out of the Great Hall, never to be heard from again.

"So what do you guys think of me dating Draco?" Hermione asked her BFFLs.

"I am okay with this," said Harry. He took a bite of toast, since that's all he ever eats for breakfast.

"As am I," Ginny agreed. She ate some cereal. Interesting.

"I am not, but I don't matter," Ron quickly added. His food, something that he would usually be shoving down his throat, somehow mutated in to a living creature, and ate him instead; it had grown tired of his careless eating, and bottomless-pit stomach. And the group continued to eat as if nothing happened, none of them even mildly surprised at Ron's return two days later.

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"Hermione dear, I need to ask you a question," Draco cooed, after finishing yet another one of their infamous snogging sessions.

"Yes, Draco darling?" Hermione replied. Yuck... what is up with these pet names?

"We have been dating for a week and six days now, Love, and... well, I think it's time we took our relationship to the next level-"

Before he had time to finish, Hermione cut in with her two cents, because that's what she likes to do. "Oh, I was thinking the same thing!"

"Really? Sweet!"

"Yes... I want to marry you too!"

Draco stopped undoing his belt. "What? No, that's not what I-"

"We have so much to prepare! Oh, I must make a list! I want to get married tomorrow, even though we are still in school, and you aren't even an adult yet! Oh, I am so happy!" Hermione twirled out of the room, Draco still standing there with his hands on his pants, baffled.

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So the next day, they said their vows in front of the castle, nobody fazed by the fact that... well, there were many facts to be fazed by, yet no one was. And on this day, Miss Hermione Granger became Mrs. Hermione Malfoy... but she wanted to keep her identity, so she then decided on Hermione Malfoy-Granger, but that sounded stupid. Thinking that the whole idea of her changing her name was sexist, she tried to get Draco to change his, but he refused, because he was the man. Finally, she settled with Hermione Bear, because everybody was getting the chance to have their last name changed to that, and she felt left out.

And everybody was happy... except for maybe you, because you just wasted several minutes of your life reading this crap. Congrats. :)

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Epilogue... yes, this one-shot has an epilogue! It isn't the only one, either...

The year was 2004, seven years after they had wed, and Draco and Hermione were still happily married. Harry had gotten together with Ginny, and Ron went off to marry... some bug, or something. They had 47 kids (all sons), and lived at the Malfoy Manor. Hermione was pregnant with her fifth set of ten, and was bigger then a boat, but Draco still loved her. Harry and Ginny had 46 daughters to help balance out who got together with whom, and a boy so we can have some slash up in this joint. Ron and his 'wife' managed to have one kid after years of struggles and doubt, even though it's... quite impossible for a bug and a human to have a kid. But they did, and called him Dustin; he was the first ever 'hug'.

And Voldemort, Lucius, Draco's Muggle-born prejudices, and everything that would have gotten in the way of them having a happy ending never existed... the end... or is it...? Yeah, it is. Wow, this is going to be the first chapter without someone getting cut-

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a/n: zomgzz, iz mah first storah! what did u think? LOLz.! Dram!one 4eva!1!

Next chapter: Chapter VII: Mixing Liquids Requires Teamwork.