Ven hated herself more than she ever had in her life, she had killed a girl. How could she ever look at anyone again and pretend that she didn't hate herself? She felt as if she deserved to die right then and there surely her Nana would understand? And Gale…she let out another loud sob at the thought of Gale how could she look at him and not be terrified of him being reaped like she had been? Of him being killed in the games by someone like her who didn't even think about anyone but themselves. She only opened her eyes when she heard the soft chime of a sponsor gift. She slowly reached out a hand to grab the gift and pull it close. She opened it and saw a muffin like one in the bakery in District 12. Inside was also a note from Haymitch.
Chin up sweetheart. You're not alone. –H
She looked up towards the sky with a few tears still in her eyes and tried to think of what she had waiting for her at home and besides even if everyone hated her back home at least she had Haymitch, he understood what she was going through. She slowly stood up and grabbed the muffin with a small smile, it was nice knowing Haymitch was still there for her. She wiped away her tears and made her way towards the caves deciding to pass on finding nuts and berries.
When she made it back to the cave she noticed that Logan was finally awake and was even sitting up. The ointment had done wonders it looked as if he hadn't even been hurt.
"I believe I owe you a thanks?" He said with an actual smile on his face. She returned the smile as she sat next to him and offered him some of the muffin. Lux let out a scream and Ven spun around to see what she screamed at and saw that the two remaining Career Pack members were standing at the entrance.
"Well, well, well look at that Paris, the bitch from twelve and look the missing girl from three! And they helped Logan, how cute." Mason spat, the boy from District 2 held up his sword with a snarl. Lux helped Logan stand and he grabbed his trident. Before anyone could move they felt the ground shake. They all looked around to see what was causing it and they quickly realized the Gamemakers were causing it. Ven looked up and saw snow beginning to pour in from the cracks.
"THEY ARE MAKING AN EARTHQUAKE TO CAUSE AN AVALANCHE!" She screamed as she made a move to run, the others quickly followed. Ven threw Logan's arm over her shoulder to help him run a little faster since his leg was still technically broken. Luckily they weren't too far from the cornucopia and there was a path that went up hill she quickly looked behind her to see how close the rushing snow was from them and to see who was behind her. She couldn't see Lux anywhere but she kept running she had to get to higher ground. She heard a scream from behind her and couldn't place who it was but she knew it was one of the remaining male tributes. She thanked whatever higher power existed that she and Logan made it to the cornucopia and nearly screamed in shock when she saw the snow come rushing towards them, only before it reached them it looked as if it hit an invisible wall.
"A force field." Logan said from beside her as he watched in awe at the snow. Ven looked around to see if she could see Lux but couldn't see the girl anywhere, she did however hear two cannon fires signaling two more tributes were dead. She bit back a sob she had begun to see the other girl as a friend over the past few days.
"VEN!" She heard someone call her name and spun around to see Toby, she hadn't seen him since the morning of day one in the arena. He ran over to her and threw his arms around her, she flinched at first not knowing how to react at first. But then she realized there had only been two cannon fires, meaning there were four, remaining tributes including herself.
"Isn't that sweet! A little District 12 reunion! Makes it easier to kill you both, now." Toby looked over Ven's shoulder and saw Mason pacing like a caged animal slashing his sword in the air as if to show them exactly what he planned to do to them with the sharp blade. As he took a step towards them an ungodly scream came from the woods behind the cornucopia. The four remaining tributes all jumped at the sound, and out of the woods came a pack of mutation mountain lions. The mountain lions looked like they were nearly the size of a bear as they stalked towards them with their long and sharp teeth glittering in the sunlight. Toby moved Ven behind him with a terrified gulp, yet the instinct to protect her outweighed his fear. Mason slashed at one of the mountain lions as it approached him and the beast howled in pain and raised a huge paw at the boy before pouncing on him. The sight of the boy being eaten alive was the most terrifying thing Ven had ever seen. She wanted to run but knew any wrong move and it would draw attention to her and Toby. She watched in horror as part of the pack surrounded Logan who just let out what could only be called a battle cry, he spun his trident around slicing and stabbing the beasts as they tried to get close to him. Watching him left Ven and Toby in awe, he moved as if the trident was a part of him and he spun like it was a dance. However graceful he was he could not hold off all of the muttations as they pounced on him and began to tear him to shreds in a matter of seconds. His screams were a sound that would forever haunt Ven if she survived the games.
"Ven…when I say to run." Toby whispered as they slowly backed away. "NOW!" He screamed as one of the muttations ran towards him he threw his arms up and managed to wrestle the beast and stab it in the neck killing it. Ven ran as fast as she could her heart pounding so hard she felt as if it would burst right out of her chest. She heard thunderous paws hitting the ground as a muttation followed after her she screamed as it felt as if razors dug into her back and shoulders throwing her to the ground. She felt the beast ripping at her flesh as if it were nothing but tissue paper. They say when you are about to die your life flashes before your eyes, but hers didn't, instead she just felt the worst pain of her life and the urge to just run away from the pain. But she couldn't run the muttation had her, pinned to the ground. She screamed even louder as she heard two cannon fires yet she had no idea who it was for she just knew she felt as if she was on fire as the beast ripped her flesh. She managed to somehow turn her body and face the monster that was going to eat her alive and out of pure instinct clawed at the beast. It let out a howl and fell on top of her with a sword in its back. Toby stood over it and reached to help her only to be tackled by another her once again managed to fight the muttation off with a knife. However Ven wasn't as lucky she screamed as another muttation pounced on her as she tried to get to her feet and run. She kicked at the muttation which only seemed to anger her as it bit onto her leg just above her right knee and ripped it off. She screamed in terror and pain, looking down she saw nothing but a bloody stump where she once had a leg.
"HEY! HEY YOU DAMN MUTT! OVER HERE!" Toby screamed as he threw a rock at the muttation making it turn towards him, he looked at Ven and he gave her one last smile before drawing attention to himself, saving her. He raised the knife to his throat and sliced it, Ven screamed as she heard the cannon fire and saw him fall to the ground the muttations stopped their actions and turned to run towards the forest before disappearing from her sight.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I PRESENT TO YOU THE WINNER OF THE 69TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES! LAVENDER HARTLEY OF DISTRICT 12!" With the announcement she felt herself give into the pain and black out enjoying the feeling of nothingness.
Ven felt someone holding her hand and a faint whisper, it sounded familiar yet it was fuzzy and sounded far away. She slowly tried to open her eyes and when she did it felt as if she had been hit by a sledgehammer.
"Hey there sweetheart. Take it easy…you've been through hell and back." She turned to see who spoke and saw Haymitch, she let out a sob if she was seeing Haymitch it meant that Toby sacrificing himself wasn't some cruel dream.
"Oh thank the gods of sequins! NOVA! SHE IS AWAKE!" Came a loud voice to her left she looked to see who it was and saw Augustus who gave her a smile. "You had us worried honey." He said as he looked at the door which Nova was now standing in. Nova didn't say anything but gave her a soft smile, while she was happy she was alive she wasn't naïve about the life of victors and never wanted that life for Ven. Ven was silent a moment before she realized she couldn't feel her leg, it just seemed as if it was numb and she looked down at her right leg.
"Sweetheart…there is something you should know…" Haymitch said cautiously the fact, that he said it that way terrified her, could the nightmare with the mutt ripping it clear off have been true? She looked at Haymitch with tears in her eyes, silently begging him he was just playing a cruel joke on her. "They tried to save it…but it was…the damage…" He continued as he held her hand as she began to sob after she understood what he was saying her leg was gone. She lifted the blanket and let out a mix between a scream of terror and a sob. Where she once had a right leg was nothing but a stump, the rest of the leg from just above where her knee should have been was gone. It made her sick to see it to remember what caused it, that Toby sacrificed himself for her yet this still happened.
She was still on bed rest for a few more days due to the extent, of her injuries and not to mention they had to fit her for a prosthetic leg. She hated it, it was uncomfortable and made her even clumsier. But like he promised Haymitch was there by her side the entire time, whether it were for emotional and moral support or physical strength when she was trying to learn to walk again.
It was the sixth day of her physical therapy when President Snow made an actual appearance, she had never seen the man face to face before at least not this close. While many would be terrified in his presence she had to bite back anger, knowing that this man was the reason she suffered so much why all the victors suffered so much.
"Ms. Hartley, a pleasure to meet you. Now normally I would have a, different proposition for a girl like you, with such beauty. But it seems your recent…injury, has made you less…desirable. However there is still something the people want from you. They want you to sing, make appearances and what not. Before you even protest as I'm sure judging by the look on your face, let me make it clear if you refuse there will be serious repercussions. I'd hate for something to happen to your grandmother in her frail state, or for that boy…if he were to fall while in his prime…but then again things happen." She felt her skin crawl at his words and her nose burned at the scent, of roses, she once loved the smell of roses but since coming to Capitol she hated them. There were too many roses in Capitol and she gagged when she smelt the genetically altered roses. President Snow's threat was rather clear even if he spoke in what people who didn't know better was just a simple conversational tone.
"Are we in agreement on these…requests?" Snow asked as he took a sip of his tea, she could only nod in response and just silently pray to all the deities past and present whatever or whoever they were, that she would wake up from this nightmare in her warm bed in District 12 and find that none of this truly happened. When Snow was satisfied with her response he gave her a smile and quietly made his exit.
The moment the doors closed when he left she let out a sob, how could her life have taken such a horrible turn? What had she done to have been reaped in the first place? She had been crying so hard she hadn't seen Haymitch come into the room and kneel beside her before wrapping his arms around her soothingly, she had jumped in response but soon wrapped her own arms around her mentor.
"Hey, hey sweetheart you're not alone. Just let it out." He said as he cradled her face in his hands wiping away her tears. She looked into his blue eyes which were so focused on her tears that he didn't notice she was watching him. He had no idea she had slowly fallen in love with him before the games and that she wanted nothing more than to tell him, but she didn't the last thing she needed was rejection to add to her already mile long list of pain and humiliation.
"They want me to keep singing. If I don't, he will kill my Nana and Gale…" She sobbed he simply sighed as he brushed her hair out of her tear streaked face.
"Believe it or not you got off easy sweetheart. Other victors…they aren't as lucky. They don't just sell their voices to the highest bidder…they sell themselves. So sweetheart in a twisted way losing your leg…it was a blessing in disguise." He whispered, she gasped in shock at his words how could people do such a thing? She wanted to run away from everything to just forget about it all.
The day of her reunion show interview was already unpleasant. She had woken up with a terrible headache from having cried herself to sleep again, her face was red and blotchy not to mention swollen. Nova had shown up at ten to get her prepped, apparently it would take much longer to get her ready than last time. Not once did her stylist and friend comment on her face as she cleaned it with cool water and then did her makeup, which was a dramatic black smoky eye and a clear gloss on her lips. Her nails were painted a shimmery dark green and her hair left down in volumed waves. The dress was a sweetheart neckline little black dress with a stunning full length high neck sheer overlay which is split center front, which covered her prosthetic leg. It had a hook and eye and invisible zip at center back for a flattering fit. The dress was paired with a pair of black platform heels, dangling earrings that had pearl and green stones with antiqued silver with a serpent design and a silver and a silver cuff bracelet with an oval malachite stone that had what Nova called a Celtic design on each side. While she had to admit she looked amazing she felt horrible at the same time. She was sick of being Capitol's doll, she wanted to dress in what she wanted she wanted to do what she wanted and to say what she wanted.
"There I'm finished." Nova said more to herself than Ven, she looked at her reflection and sighed. There wasn't much that she could do.
When it was time to make her way to her reunion interview she slowly made her way to the elevator. Haymitch came up beside her and took her arm with a weak smile as he helped her balance much like he had the first time.
"You look amazing sweetheart." He whispered in her ear making her blush, he had to have known the effect he had on her right?
Her interview began with Caesar welcoming her to the stage with his giant grin and bright-colored hair. She tried to ignore the loud cheering from her so-called adoring fans, they made her sick! How could they love a murderer? When she sat down Caesar went on about how lovely she looked, how brave she had been, how amazing she had been to help the other tributes and a load of other things that made her sick. When the time to watch her highlights in the game came she bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to taste blood. She looked at the front row and saw Finnick Odair she felt a stab in her gut seeing him knowing it was her fault his tribute died, she then continued down the line to see Haymitch, she would keep eye contact with him he would once again be her rock. The highlights showed her during her reaping and her heart broke all over again at the sight of Gale screaming for her as she walked up the stairs of the stage, it showed her shaking hands with Toby. It flashed to her at the parade when she captured the attention, of the people of the Capitol. It then showed the first interview with her singing and the people cheering, it showed her running when the games began and how she nearly died in the blood bath if it hadn't been for Logan.
"You alright there Twelve?" She heard him say with his smirk, one that she would never be able to dared to look at Finnick, his mentor and tried to silently tell him she was sorry before looking back at Haymitch. When it showed her helping Lux she felt acidic tears threatening to fall from her eyes. She looked quickly at Lux's mentors they looked heartbroken, had they known her long? Or did they always look this broken? Watching herself kill Petra from District 2 made her nearly throw up but it was once again Haymitch who helped her keep it together by whispering she wasn't alone. When Logan appeared on the screen having woken up she felt her heart-break he wouldn't live much longer after this moment neither would Lux. When the avalanche happened she saw poor Lux trying to keep up with them but she had watched in horror as the force field appeared before her tear filled eyes and the rush of snow claimed her as if she were nothing but a fallen leaf in its path.
"Oh god no! VEN!" She didn't remember this moment as Toby tried desperately to save her from the mutt attacking her, she didn't notice the tears in his eyes as he fought to save her life. Watching his death was too much, he was practically the victor at that moment but he sacrificed himself for her he should have been the one sitting up in this damn chair not her. She wasn't supposed to be here she was supposed to be dead!
"My, my, my, what a game! How did you feel at that moment when Toby sacrificed himself for you so you could be the glorious victor?" She wanted to tell him that was a stupid question, which in a way she accidentally did.
"All due respect that's a bunch of crap." She realized too late what she had actually said but it didn't even seem to faze Caesar. He just gave her a sympathetic smile and asked her to explain.
"Glorious victor that phrase…it's stupid. Unless you actually participate in the games, watching is one thing but being an actual tribute…you don't understand. It may seem like sunshine and daisies…but it's not. I wish I had died instead of Toby. He should be the one sitting here not me. Knowing I'm the reason he is dead, why Lux, Logan and Petra…I am here and they aren't. Why am I seen as worthy and they weren't? I don't think I'll ever be truly me again, I'll be haunted I'll be disgusted with myself…yet I have to keep a mask on for the rest of my life. I don't think anyone but the other victors will ever truly understand my pain. And even if by some miracle I found a way to block out the memories…I'd still have the cruel reminder because I lost my leg." She finished the last bit of her speech in a whisper. The look Caesar gave her was full of pity she hated that look how dare, he pity her!
"Now I understand you are going to sing for us? President Snow informed me that you had worked on a song for us. Who here wants to hear it?!" Caesar said expertly changing the topic she had to give him props he knew how to work the crowds. She however hated how he told the people he would sing again, if it hadn't been for Snow's threat she would have told him to fuck himself she no longer wanted to be the delicate little flower for Capitol.
"I suppose." She said with a frustrated sigh the crowd cheered not even noticing how pissed she truly was. Not noticing how badly she wanted to throw things at them, smack them, and curse them.
"WONDERFUL! Ladies and Gentlemen…I present to you for another beautiful song MS. LAVENDER HARTLEY!" She fought back a glare when he called her Lavender, she hated going by that name but she supposed that Lavender would be her Capitol self and Ven would be her normal self it was better that way to separate the two now. She was handed a microphone and slowly stood up her real leg cracked from having been in the same position for too long and her prosthetic leg made a click as it locked into a standing position. She slowly made her way to the center of the stage with a sigh as she held the microphone up to her lips she wasn't sure what she would even sing. She looked in the front row and saw all the victors, the stars of the Capitol and thought of one song.
"Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars
I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and you shall find
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told
I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars
I feel the love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is a four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be counting stars
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Everything that kills me makes feel alive
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be, we'll be, counting stars
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned
Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learned" When she finished singing she didn't wait to hear what Caesar had to say she handed the microphone and turned to leave, he seemed a little surprise that she left but played it off as if that was the plan all along.
"Ladies and gentlemen, your beloved victor!" He said with a large grin the crowd cheered and applauded but she just stormed backstage furious that she had to do that again. Haymitch had somehow beat her backstage and instantly wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug.
The crowning ceremony was only a few hours after her interview she wanted nothing more than to go home but she wasn't allowed to leave until the following morning. She stood in front of the people of Capitol as she was given a crown a symbol of both her victory and a life of servitude to Capitol. Whoever wore the crown was signing off all rights to a normal and peaceful life for a life of horror and lies. She was certain her cynicism was reasonable after what she had been through.
"Congratulations Ms. Hartley. I'll be seeing you in a few months. But do remember our little talk, I'll be keeping an eye on you dear." President Snow said with his fake smile one that made her skin crawl and made her sick. He placed the silver crown with wings on each side and an oval stone of onyx and she just simply stared ahead ignoring the man completely. After all she was seen as a victor and victors never show weakness they were killers born and bred for the games isn't that what the Capitol saw them as?
This seemed like a good place to stop. However before you say it's horrible I know. I hate it myself, but the next chapter should hopefully be a bit better...and it will open up to what I had planned all along. See I don't care much about her games, I care more about her time as a mentor and her relationship with Haymitch. These past six chapters are more fillers for what I really wanted to write about but I still felt they were needed to understand the character better and her relationship in it's earliest stages with Haymitch.
OH! And I do not own the song she sings (Counting Stars) it belongs to One Republic. To hear what I think she would sound like look up Jannel Garcia's cover of the song on YouTube.