Ghost

"I'm gonna leave you two alone," I backed away slowly from the livingroom whilst keeping my sharp eyes on the two joyous sisters. "To have some family time."

"You're apart of the family, you know?" Sombra winked at me unobtrusively as she let Esther paint her nails purple. The naive, yet wise girl seemed to be enthralled about how people put paint on their hands for aesthetic show, but it didn't stop her from brushing away artistically.

Apart of the family? I mused in my head. I suppose I'll keep that in mind.

I retreated my hands behind my back and spun on my heel swiftly. Walkng with gentle presses to the ground as if I were not more than skimming fog on a battlefield, I effortlessly followed a mental trail of breadcrumbs upstairs that I had disciplined myself routinely to memorize. I'd trained myself to the point that I unconsciously knew every path in, throughout, and around the mansion. My shoulders drew themselves down relaxed while my right hand lassoed my left wrist loosely.

As I followed the mastered path to my room, I held a psychological conference in my little own war room of a mind that seated my subconscious, my wits, and I. I wonder where they- oh yes! That's right! They went to pick up "The Boss." I have to consider meeting this person especially since Esther is so different. A strange girl I must admit. Caught me off guard. Heh. She's fucking crazy. Reaper was so vehement about me not failing, this "Boss" must be much more closer than just a payee. Probably a close client if not perhaps a friend.

My heart beat slowly and my breaths were calm as if I had just awoken from a blissful dream. I couldn't suspect anything to go wrong or be disorderly at the rate I lived in. At ease, I stopped in front of my door. My hand came forward and turned the knob slowly, not making so much as a rattle. Opening the entrance extra slower to avoid the possibility of creaking, I expected to fall into a serene empty space.

Then I smelled an odor.

Someone's been fucking in here, I thought before I took an observant look around the pristine clean scenery that clearly had been filled up with bricks of rancid sex. What cemented my allegation was the overwhelming scent of perfume used to mask up such an astonishingly awful redolence of the room. I could just smell sexual arousal. The fetor wasn't necessarily unpleasant, in fact it would've been inviting if certain conditions were right, but I couldn't but help feel butterflies in my belly at the mere thought of someone defiling my sleeping quarters.

This is fucking disgusting, I wrinkled my nose and decided to investigate my suspicions. As long as the book wasn't read, I'll be good.

A small chifferobe that held similar clothes to what I wore now but only changed by colour. The only thing hung up on a hook was my spotless professional uniform which would be worn to dinner parties and formal occasions; however, I hadn't had the privilege of attending such matters yet. I hadn't had the luxury to swim yet either, so as far as I knew, my swimming suit was a pair of black tights.

Standing by the window from which golden light shone through was a desk with a small Bible aligned perfectly on the right corner and a cup of water on the left. I could imagine it wasn't more than a day old which meant someone had been in here last night or the night before. By the desk was an oak chair in which a linen blanket covered it. My nightstand stood next to my bed with a single lamp and book on it. Granted there were cushioned pens and an elegantly-designed pistol in the drawer, but they were standard protocol.

But the book had a slight, if nearly unnoticeable tilt to it's angle, but a tilt nonetheless.

I shut the door behind me quietly as if someone was in here and unaware of my presence. Summoning the book to my hands, I flipped through the pages, looking for any discernible evidence of whom had invaded my privacy. Inside the book were observations I had written about myself, the various obstacles I had, and effective ways to overcome them. This was a person's dream guide of how to exploit my weaknesses and avoid my strengths and anyone who read it would basically know the key to defeat me.

Whoever read this could hurt me, my heart picked up in a pace. Put me in the ground even. I knew you shouldn't had written shit about your weaknesses. What the fuck is wrong with me? I know it was just to realize how powerful I was, but holy fucking shit. That- this is everything.

When I came across the seventeenth page of the journal, I found a single strand of hair stunk between the page bindings. I opened the drawer and unsheathed the tip of a pen to dig between the pages and slid the strand out. Throwing the open pen back in the drawer and slamming it shut, I took a hold of the hair between my thumb and index and held it up to the light streaming in the window. Witnessing a blonde gleam, I twisted my palm and realized it truly gleamed red, revealing whom I initially suspected to be the culprit in the the darkest depth of my mind.

Moira.

La pute, I cursed her and closed the book gelidly. I laid the journal on the table neatly. Before I could leave, I spied a small ruffle in the covers and sheets of my bed. I started to put together a report in my head in order to rationalize my apoplectic mind. Moira must've been reading the fucking journal and drinking the water before masturbating on my bed and then trying to cover up her act. Maybe she was doing "that" while reading the journal unless she's been sleeping in my room while we were gone. I can't let her get away with this.

Marching with a more controlled and calculated anger from my room with the logic chained together flawlessly, I spotted Moira entering a bathroom out of the corner of my eye. I peered quickly into the living room and saw Sombra wasn't aware of Moira's presence, but rather too focused on Esther to care. I could assault and murder the scientist and she wouldn't find out until later. She might never find out. I could make the scientist commit suicide and walk away with clean hands. Moira has pushed me around for the last time and I will make her suffer. Keep her trapped in her own mind and torture her from the inside out. Perhaps she would be driven insane or better yet, she would cross the line so I could have an excuse to wear my murder proudly. Yes! I could beat her to death!

Sombra would want to restrain myself, but it's not like she is going to do anything if I do kill Moira. I can always be forgiven later. She'd love me no matter what. And if she truly loved me, she wouldn't care I did this. Especially if she doesn't mind if I killed civilians. Why would she care for such a villain? Surely, she must be getting sick and tired of everything this bitch does to me.

I shouldn't, my subconscious argued. She would hate me. She might say she loves me, but she would always have that look in her eye that I wasn't loyal to her. That I didn't truly care what she'd ever advise because I wasn't driven by reason. I know I'm stone cold, but Sombra wants a little heat. She lives for those small pockets of warmth I give.

I need to stay faithful.

I stepped away from Moira's direction and headed back to Sombra. Esther hung around her neck and snuggled her face into my lover's neck as Sombra told the little girl stories.

"-And then that's when Zarya left me to pick up her Omnic friend," Sombra laughed lightly.

"How did Zarya find you?"

"I guess-"

"Sombra," I whispered her name with the birth of a thunderstorm on my lips. "Can I have a word with you? It's not suitable for Esther to hear what I'm about to say."

"Uh, yeah," Sombra pried Esther from her arms. "Esther, sit here. I need to talk to Ghost."

"'Kay," Esther swung her feet as she sat on the couch. "Be back soon."

"I will," Sombra booped her on the nose before getting up and walking with me a little ways away."So, what's up?"

"She fucking masturbated in my room!" I raised my voice.

"Keep your voice down," Sombra ordered me. "I don't need her to hear this."

"Sorry," I calmed myself with small collective breaths. I lowered my voice into a deep whisper. "But she fucking did it in my room, on my bed nonetheless. And she read all my information that compromises my safety. My weaknesses. Everything I keep private with you. She's been in there multiple times and she even drinks in there. I think she lives there when we're not here."

"And you're sure?"

"Yes!" I hissed. "I even have a hair as proof."

"You don't have to prove a thing to me. I believe you."

"Thank you."

"No, thank you," Sombra nodded. "I really do appreciate you coming to me first instead of doing this yourself."

"I was tempted," I confessed slightly more calmer. Releasing the hot spark of anger really did relieve me; however, I suspected Sombra could only dampen it rather than subdue it all together. I felt as if I had been cheated out destroying the one I hated so much, but the knowledge that someone else was handling it made me feel better. "Can I go after her?"

"No," Sombra gave a small smile. "Why don't you go hang out with Esther? The women need to talk."

"I want to kill her," I protested.

"I'm not going to kill her. Just teach her a lesson, okay?"

I nodded and left her to her own devices as I returned to the living room and sat next to Esther who stared at me as if I was a domesticated unicorn. I didn't make any moves or nervous banter such as patting my knees or rubbing my hair, rather I sat elegantly and glanced back at her and nodded. She didn't look away as she sized me up and even moved closer to me. We sat in silent as she smiled while I stared back at her expressionless.

Don't be so weird and say something, I told myself. And keep it in English.

"Well?" I spoke to her softly as if not wanting to damage her ears from a lullaby. "How do you like it here so far?"

"It's alright. When's my Mom coming?"

"I don't know. I'd assume they would've gotten her by now, that being Reaper and Akande. Amélie went too, but I've got warn you, she's not the most friendly of people."

"They sound like they're trying to be scary."

"No. Not really. Reaper just wears his name because his gimmick. I hope it doesn't disturb you, but I'm sure he'll be nice to you."

"What about Akande? Is he nice?"

"I think he would love you. Just don't ask to wear his glove. It might crush you."

"Gloves aren't heavy."

"This one is."

"Have you ever worn it?"

"Um, no."

"Then how would you know?"

"Trust me, it's really huge. I don't think even I could pick it up."

"You make it seem like he's that Doomfist guy."

Oh, you don't even know. "He is," I resisted a smile.

Esther's eyes lit up with joy and her mouth opened wide in happiness. "Really? No way! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" She started to breathe unnaturally fast and didn't seem able to take in what she put out.

"Hey, are you okay?" I put a hand on her shoulder. The girl was hyperventilating. "Hey, hey, calm down. Breath into your hands."

She cupped her hands as she started to take deep breaths. I rubbed her back as she started to inhale properly. She had shiny eyes as she took more abyssal breaths before she closed her eyes.

"Have a crush on him?" I teased her with a small curl on the end of my lips.

"Noooo…" Esther clasped her hands together as she swung her feet freely. "I just adore his philosophies. He's just soooo charming with them."

"You mean his mantra, 'Only through conflict do we evolve?'"

"I have to hear him say it himself. I'm just in love with him. Well… not him," Esther brushed her hair back and avoided my gaze that ridiculed her playfully. "Just, what he stands for. Oh my gosh! I just have to hold his glove. He's my hero."

"You'll see him soon," I let a small smile curl on my upper lip. And I'm going to want to watch him see her. "So, uh, this your first time seeing your sister?"

"Yeah. Actually, Mom told me she was there when I was born, but she didn't want Sombra to watch over me as a guardian considering her record. Wanted to make sure I was safe so I never really talked to her so it was a surprise when you guys showed up. I didn't realize she was Mexican."

"You're not a racist, are you?"

"What's a racist?"

"Someone who hates people by the colour of their skin."

"Oh no. Well, maybe. I don't really know. I don't hate people because of their skin, so I guess not. I'm just surprised we don't look alike. We do, but, it's a little distracting. Not really, but you get the point. Sisters should look alike, you know what I mean."

"We can ask her about that some other time. If you don't know what a racist is, what did you think World War 2 was?"

"Um, a crazy geneticist moustache model's idea of biological superiority."

"Fair enough."

"So where did Sombra go?" Esther seemed to move onto small talk.

"Your big sister is defending me. She's my hero."

"Why can't you fight your own battles?"

"It's complicated."

"So are taxes," she replied quickly and earned a hollow chuckle from me. "So get to talking."

"Well, for one, Sombra is fighting someone who makes life hard for me. She's a girl, Moira that being. Men shouldn't hit women. They can kill them, but not hit them."

"Why is that?"

"It's just wrong," I was caught off guard. I've never really thought about it. "You just don't do it."

"But women can hit men?"

"Well, no. It's more socially acceptable."

"Why?"

"Because women are weaker. They're supposed to be protected and if they hit someone, it means they're in danger or they don't feel safe."

"Are you saying women can't protect themselves?"

"No! No. I'm just saying that it's immoral for a man to beat up a woman."

"But it's okay to kill them?"

"No! Well, yes! It depends. Just accept that as fact."

"No, no, no. You said it was okay for men to kill women but not hit them. How are you supposed to kill them without hitting them?"

"Let's move on," I urged her away from her desire for knowledge.

"Fine," she huffed. "Why don't you fight your own battles? Let's just say you found a way to kill this woman without hitting her."

"Well, she keeps ma- uh, well, uh… how do I put this?" I decided I was not going to tell her straight up about Moira's devious activities. She doesn't need to know about Moira's "hobbies." "Um, do you have dolls or something?"

"I don't like Barbie."

"Uh, well, what do you like?"

"Handstands."

"Well, what if… you were the queen-"

"Empress!"

"Empress," I corrected myself. "Of handstands. And you and Sombra were the only one allowed to do handstands. And everyday, you guys went to one spot to do handstands. Then one day, you go to the spot and you see me doing handstands in that spot. And you, the Empress, had already told me that I wasn't allowed to do handstands in that spot."

"So, it's kind of like if you and Sombra were fucking and Moira keeps masturbating in your bed where you two fuck?"

"How old are you?" I grew uncomfortable. Little girls shouldn't know about this. Especially that. And we don't fuck. "And how did you know about that?"

"I have very good hearing and you kinda raised your voice. I'm not stupid you know. I know at least a little bit about reproduction."

"Why don't we just-"

"So let me get this straight?" Esther ignored my question. "You don't fight your own battles because Sombra wants to fight them for you or you can't stand up for yourself?"

"I-"

"I think you're a pussy," Esther crossed her arms.

"Excuse me?" I asked her with anger within in my breast, yet a slightly surprised tone.

"You heard me. You're a pussy and a hypocrite. You're so pussy-whipped that you don't even fight for yourself. An immature teen stuck in a grown man's body, vying for the merit of having a lover but never considering what it actually means. You're scared to hit a girl because you pretend you're righteous, but you'll brutally murder them if they threaten you. You're so wrapped up in trying to impress Sombra that you can't even make your own choices. You're so driven by emotion you don't know who you are! Do you even know who you are?"

"No!" I became angry. While I could defend myself against half the things she said, the reminder of my amnesia cut deep. "I can't remember who I am!"

"I didn't ask who you were! I'm asking who you are goddamnit!" Her voice faltered. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad. I just can't stand people who can't decide who they are."

"I know who I am!"

"Sorry," Esther hung her head. "I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me."

"Great," I spoke under my breath as I stood without having my emotions leak out of me any longer. Swiftly, I returned to my room and locked the door behind me. I sat down on my bed, seething with rage yet collective in my thoughts. I gripped my fists together, angry that I had been disrespected in such a way; however, I also found disappointment in my own retreat. A weakness I had indirectly exposed, but if I was going to control myself, I needed some space to think.

Fuck her! She's just a kid that doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about! As if she really understands my problems. I can't believe she just talks like that! A fucking idiot! It's not like she's telling the truth, is she? No, no. If she was telling the truth, she would've known not to fucking get my head all confused. She's a kid, not a monk.

Oh, you're so pussy-whipped, I mimicked her voice in my head. As if she could understand what I'm going through. Who am I? I am a fucking killer and a Talon agent! Who am I? I'm a fucking man! Who am I? I asked myself more controlled. My name is Ghost and I'm a Talon agent, right? Why am I questioning myself? My name is Ghost and I am a Talon agent. Then why am I questioning myself?

Really? Fucking kids. I'll never understand them. Fuck you mean, Ghost? You were a kid once. I already know that. I just didn't obsess over warfare and psychological factors of the human mind. Did I? I'm pretty sure I didn't. Most kids don't. Most kids would play tag or some shit at that age. Again, I stopped my thoughts. I don't understand kids and I probably shouldn't be having one, I actually nearly laughed aloud.

I heard the door open behind me. I didn't turn around as I couldn't care less if it was Esther, Moira, or Sombra, though I did have preference of who I wanted to see. The footsteps were soft, quiet and almost inconceivable to my ears. I didn't want to cast lots on who it could be, but following a chain of logic of who could open an electronic lock, it was most likely Sombra.

"Ghost," Sombra placed a knee in my back and laid on my body, hunched over me like a pair of prying eyes. Her hands massaged my shoulders like willow branches offering a pleasant shade, brushing against a family having a picnic. She wasn't heavy and reminded me of a comforter or a wool blanket. "Esther seemed a little upset. And you were the last one with her."

"It was nothing," I tried to suppress my tone as I laid on my belly, letting her fall onto me. "We just had a little argument."

"What was it about?"

"She started questioning why I wouldn't fight Moira, so I gave her a reason and we got deep into a conversation about my morals. She called me a pussy," I nearly laughed recalling the incident fondly, realizing it was stupid for me to be angry with the little girl. If anything, I should've celebrated the moment as a comical.

"And?" Sombra stifled a giggle as she seemed to try to picture the young girl calling a grown man a pussy.

"She thinks I act righteous sometimes and hypocritically lash out and kill at other times. And she says I won't fight Moira because I'm quote unquote, 'So pussy-whipped.'"

"You do lash out sometimes," Sombra reminded me gently.

"I know, but I'm working on it. I just hate it when I'm making the slightest progress and then told that I'm not doing good enough."

"No one said you weren't doing good enough. It just takes time to convince some people. Besides, you're not pussy-whipped, otherwise I would have a ring on my finger. So I think she was meant was that she's just realizing her big sister's strength." Sombra kissed the back of my ear. The small peck was affectionate and compassionate at the very touch of it. I shifted, signalling I would roll over and Sombra allowed me to.

"Let me see," I inspected her body for evidence of a fight.

Her hands were covered in blood as her fingers grazed down my scars. She mounted me, resting her hips on my pelvis before leaning down to my face. Her pinkies went behind my ears and her ring fingers rested on my free lobes. Her thumbs caressed the crosses in my cheeks, feeling the ridges and contours. The print of her thumb brushed down and through a valley of rough flesh before sliding up the mountains of cracked and broken skin. The hacker let her nose come near mine, as if they were two knights honourably measuring each other up on their steeds.

Her eyes closed and I followed suit, savouring the mystery to the well-remembered path of kisses. Blindly, we felt our way to each other's wet and firm lips warm with comfort and a peaceful serenity washing over us. The anger that once was within my heart now subsided into the soles of my feet and drained as love, a detoxifier, purified my body.

A tiny and feathery brush across my upper lip as my lower cupped hers before the moment ended. When we pulled ourselves apart, we looked into each other's eyes passionately.

"Big sister strength, huh?"

"I think I actually got some blood on me," Sombra opened her hand and flashed me her palm before revealing her knuckles which did have a small line of red liquid across it.

"Would you look at that?" I touched her hand, holding it in an examination. She laughed as she slapped my hand away. "Oh!" I cocked my head. "Afraid to show yourself to me now?"

"Please, I'm shy," she spoke sarcastically.

"Details, baby! Details!"

"Oh, I don't know. I only opened the bathroom door and surprised her."

"That sounds naughty, mademoiselle."

Sombra slapped my chest with the back of her hand frolicsome. "Oh, please, you're embarrassing me."

"Is that so?" I pecked her and rolled onto her with merry spirits. Sombra let a heavy, sensual groan undulate on my ear as my hands laid palms down on the blankets, caging her head between them. I supported myself up as Sombra stared dreamily into my rarely toasty eyes.

Her hands slowly edged nearer and hesitantly brushed my sides. With her eyes heavy with unbridled lust and a abyss-deep soul connection, she inhaled my breath and exhaled her signature foxy fragrance. Oozing out fierce passion, I lowered myself to my forearms and made fists. Our noses now caressed as our bodies snugged adoringly close.

Moving my hips down from my plank, I rested my body against hers though I kept my chest off her. Her legs opened and her heels slid down my calves as I stroked her cheek with my left hand. I brushed hair back and when I passed my hand over her forehead, I covered her eyes and kissed her ravishing lips once more. Giving her an irresistible blister of pleasure, surely my body language flirted promises of sweet ecstasy that would leave her shivering glamorously if we continued with our magnificent actions, provided my exquisite emotions of fire, lust, and passion were to remain until our clothes slipped off like feathers from a dove.

I could feel the two of us giving an aura of arousal into the air and the ecstasy of the moment glowed between our hearts, tempting me to take and know her.

Her hands moved down my hips and brush my hips, tickling my waistline. This made me contract my belly and from the inhale, Sombra slipped her fingers beneath my pantline and unbutton them. Her thumbs slowly undid my zipper and her head came closer to mine. Kissing me, I knew I was in too much of a compromising position.

This isn't right, I advised myself. It doesn't feel right. Stop this.

I rolled off her and readjusted my clothing as Sombra sat up quickly and touched my shoulder. I shrugged her off in a sudden jerk that made me seem cold towards her.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. No," I tried to sound reassuring, but my tone clearly gave me away. "Nothing wrong at all, just… doesn't feel right."

"What? Having sex or having me?"

"Sex," I stated cooly. "I think we're going to fast. Not now."

Sombra stayed quiet for a moment. I felt guilty in a way, but relieved at the same time. As if I resisted the Devil himself, even though it meant sacrificing the world. I looked back at her as she stared at her feet with one of her knees propped up.

"Hey, I'm just not comfortable with it right now," I tried to justified myself. "Not until marriage."

"Until marriage," Sombra nodded with a blank expression. "And when are you going to propose?"

"After awhile. Our relationship is just fresh and…"

"And what? Are you testing my resolve to commitment? Are you holding out because you don't think I'm the one?"

"Sombra-"

"Ghost, I understand if you want to fuck your wife and I'm not the girl, but please, don't waste my time if you're not going to love me with your all."

"I do love you. It's just-"

"Promise me. Promise me you'll propose to me."

A promise is a promise. Something doesn't feel right, but, what if it's just a temporary feeling? So far, I've done nothing to prove that I'm not an emotionally-guided man. I don't want to jinx a relationship if that's the case. Emotions are something I shouldn't play with. But this will subdue her. It'll make sex feel right knowing we're married. Besides, what's the point of a relationship if you're just practicing? You'll just hurt her.

"I swear."

Sombra looked deep into my eyes. Searching mine with her worried eyes, she slowly placed faith within me. She searched for reassurance that I was telling the truth. That I was the one who'd give refuge to her dark emotions within. If I stared long enough, I'd find that she was liar looking for a person to tell the truth to. Someone who would believe her.

I smiled.

"Okay," she kissed my cheek.

"Besides, the only other woman here is Amélie and I don't want to see you beat her up."

"What about Moira? She's a woman."

I took her hand and ran my thumb over the scientist's blood. "Are you abusing animals?"

"What the fuck? No!"

"Well clearly you've been hitting bitches, so-"

She kissed me and then bounced off the bed with a renewed smile. "C'mon. Let's go cheer up Esther. And make an exception and smile for her."

"No promises on that."

"Then at least give her a hug and talk about war or something," Sombra opened the door. "You're coming right?"

"Yeah," I stood and advanced as she slipped from sight. "Right behind you. Hey, guess who Esther has a crush on." I looked back at my bed, though stained by someone else, remaining holy between lovers.