I'm not even going to lie - a stupid and pointless chapter - but I have such a strong image of the last chapter and can't wait to get to writing it. I'm going to finish this story (7 chapters) and Jellyfish (4 or 5 chapters) before I continue work on If I Loved You (the love for that story continues to surprise me) and start work on Band-Aids and Coconut Cake. Also, I've already had an idea for a follow-up one-shot to Fifty-Four Days. So much to write. So little time.
…
Part Six.
Her husband doesn't want her anymore. That's painfully obvious. And how can she expect him to when she has a volleyball taped to her body? She's fat and disgusting looking and how can she honestly expect Daryl to look at her and be attracted to her?
Tavon asked Matty to sleep over on Friday night and Michonne would get them to the football game on Saturday morning and Beth had been so excited at the idea of being alone with Daryl in the house. Just the two of them. She asked Maggie to come shopping with her and Beth hadn't bought anything skimpy or slutty – that's just not her style no matter how badly she wants to have sex with her husband. But she buys a black negligee of satin and lace and it makes her feel beautiful and not too pregnant.
She changes into it and then sits up in bed, smiling at him as he comes into the bedroom after locking the doors up downstairs. And Daryl smiles back and strips down to his boxer shorts and then… nothing. Absolutely nothing. He climbs into bed and kisses her on the cheek, murmuring a good night before he turns off the lamp and lays down and minutes later, his soft snores already fill the bedroom.
Beth sits there and looks at him in disbelief for a moment and then down at the negligee she's wearing and she feels so stupid. So completely and utterly stupid. And she has never felt more hideous than she does in that moment because she's pregnant and her husband doesn't even look at her anymore, let alone kiss her and want to have sex with her. Ever since that stripped turn pink with positive, Daryl has shown her time and time again that he has no interest in her.
And if that's really the truth, why marry her at all in the first place and get her pregnant?
As he sleeps and snores beside her, Beth can't help it. Tears flood her eyes and stream down her cheeks and she knows it wasn't like this when she was pregnant with Matty. She had been just a teenager then, too scared and worried about such an uncertain future to think about anything else. She had just thought that this pregnancy would be different. A little better. She has a husband now. A man who loves her completely – at least that what she had thought. A man who would stand by her through these turbulent months and even though Daryl hasn't left her side, he's certainly acting like a man who doesn't necessarily want to be there.
Daryl doesn't stir as Beth slips from the bed. She takes the negligee off as quickly as she can and goes into the bathroom, throwing it into the trashcan in there. It had been a stupid idea. She doesn't wear things when she doesn't have a volleyball attached to her body. Why did she think that wearing it now would have ever been a good idea?
She wipes at her cheeks, not even able to look at her reflection, and she goes back into the bedroom, getting herself dressed in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt. He still doesn't wake as she tugs on some shoes and leaves the bedroom. Otter is sleeping in the hallway as he usually does – when not sleeping in Matty's bedroom – and the dog instantly wakes, pushing himself up on his legs, his tail wagging. Beth gives him an absent-minded rub on his head as she passes and heads down the stairs. When she can't sleep and has too much on her mind, she bakes and right now, she feels like she can bake all night.
"Stay," she gives the quiet order to Otter after he walks her to the front door and grabbing her keys, she leaves, stepping out into the night that's quiet except for the crickets hiding the darkness.
She considers driving but she has too much energy and she doesn't want the car engine to wake Daryl up. Her bakery isn't that far away so she just starts walking, hoping that the cool fall night will help cool her down, too, and she hopes that she'll stop crying, too. She has a son and a husband and she loves them more than anything and she knows they love her, too – at least, she thinks she knows – but right now, she just feels completely and utterly alone.
Arriving at Beth's Bakery, she unlocks the front door and stepping into her shop, she turns and immediately locks the door behind her again. The cases are empty – she sells out nearly every day – and if she doesn't, she takes the leftover cupcakes over to the auto-garage or to the hair salon in town or animal shelter; a different business in town whenever she has some, wanting to share with everyone.
She walks around the counter and heads into the small baking area in back, flipping on the overhead light. It's almost ten and she has no plan on leaving the rest of the night. She'll be able to do all of the baking now and she knows she'll still have the energy for when the bakery opens at ten the next morning.
She opens one of the refrigerators and starts taking out everything she will need. She bakes six different kinds of cupcakes each day and in the fall, three times a week, she makes a special: pumpkin spice cupcake with a cinnamon cream cheese frosting. She gets working on those first and she goes through the steps, all of her recipes memorized and something she'd be able to do with her eyes closed, but right now, she really needs to concentrate on baking and not think of anything else because if she thinks of anything right now, she's just going to burst into tears.
Daryl had wanted a baby. They had talked about it and it was something they had both wanted. He told her that if they could have a baby like Matty, he'd want a dozen. And Beth remembers thinking when he had said that of how lucky she was that she had found a man who loved her and her son as much as Daryl did.
And she was so excited when she took the test and her pregnancy was confirmed. She was so ready to have another baby; his baby. And she wants a little daughter and she knows no one's life is perfect but God, she had just thought hers would be so close.
She never saw this coming. Daryl not wanting her anymore. They had certainly had their ups and downs and that is putting it lightly. But things have been good for them for so long, Beth just stupidly thought that things would keep staying good for them. It never crossed her mind that Daryl would find her so disgusting while she is pregnant.
She bakes three dozen pumpkin cupcakes and they are cooling on the counter as she begins work on the cinnamon cream cheese frosting. It's just after midnight and she misses coffee so much but she's listening to Ella Fitzgerald on the radio and she's humming along and between that and baking, she's able to be distracted for a while.
But of course, that's when there is a knock on the front glass door and she jumps a little, spinning towards it and seeing Daryl on the other side, staring at her. She stares back and for a moment, she is so tempted to just ignore him even though she knows that won't do anything and it's not like as if he'll just leave. But she knows that will never happen and Daryl will just stand out there all night if that's what he has to do.
After another moment, she wipes her hands on a nearby dishtowel and comes to the front door, not looking at him as she unlocks the door, and she immediately turns again, returning to the kitchen, trusting him to lock the door behind him again. She returns to making her frosting and he comes into the kitchen, not saying anything, simply looking at her; studying her like she's a damn set of damn tracks in the damn woods.
"What?" She snaps, not able to help herself but she shouldn't have to apologize. She's pregnant, hurt and horny and her emotions and hormones are all over the place. Daryl probably already knows that though. He should have read that in his stupid book.
He shrugs and his arms are crossed over his chest and she refuses to look at his biceps.
"I ain't the one who left the house in the middle of the night, scaring the shit out of my spouse when they wake up and see you're not next to 'em," he comments.
Beth scoffs. "So, you even noticed that I was gone?" She asks him.
Daryl just keeps looking at her and doesn't say anything else. Beth shakes her head to herself and putting the bowl back on the stand, she turns the mixer on, the whirring sound making sure that they won't be able to have a conversation; not that she and Daryl will talk this through. There's nothing to talk about. He has more than made his opinion on her and being with her crystal clear.
She doesn't look at him again but she can feel his eyes on her. He's doing nothing. Just standing there, looking at her, and she flicks the mixer off.
"What?" She snaps again but she doesn't give him a chance to answer. "Why did you marry me?" She asks and it's not at all what he's expecting and the surprise on his face is evident to her. "If you're so disgusted with me, why did you marry me, Daryl? Why didn't you just keep living across the hall and ignoring me and screwing Amy?"
"Beth-" he starts to say but he's too stunned to say anything much after her name.
Beth storms past him into the little room she has turned into her office. Daryl follows after her, staring at her, still having no idea what's going on and his confusion is just pissing her off because why doesn't he know? Isn't it obvious?
And she can feel the shift happening in her body. Her anger dissolves and she bursts into tears before she can stop it. Daryl doesn't hesitate now. He steps towards her and wraps his strong arms around her, holding her close.
"Why don't you want me?" She cries into his shoulder.
"Beth," he says her name and she thinks that's all he's going to say and his lips are turned to her hair. "You're all I want. You know that."
She pulls her head back so she can look at him and she can imagine how disgusting she looks with tears and snot. She shakes her head. "No, I don't know that, Daryl. You didn't even look at me tonight. You haven't looked at me in so long and I… I need you to look at me."
Daryl's eyes don't move from her. He's certainly looking at her right now.
"I see you all the time, Beth," he finally speaks in a low voice, quiet and slow as if he's trying to pick just the right words to say to her in this moment. "Definitely saw you tonight and what you were wearin'."
Beth immediately opens her mouth to ask him then why he's staying away from her and does he have any idea what that's starting to do to her? Clearly, she's not handling his distance from her well if she's at her bakery in the middle of the night, baking cupcakes.
Daryl shuffles forward to close what little space is between them and his hands slide over the sides of the bump between them. "I read that chapter but at the end, it said to consult your doctor and I'm just waitin' for our next appointment. I was gonna ask 'im durin' our next appointment."
Beth opens her mouth to tell him that he's being absolutely ridiculous – as she's been telling him again and again during these past few months – but he's staring down at her bump and his hands are gently rubbing against it.
"Can't stand the idea of anythin' happenin' to you or to Nibblet and I'm not gonna be the one to do anythin' to either of you," he says.
"Daryl," she says his name softly and lifts her hands to frame his face, lifting it slightly so their eyes are able to meet. She swallows a lump in her throat. "If you're not attracted to me while I'm looking like this…"
And she can actually see the moment realization sparks across his face and he gets it and she knows that she thinking he doesn't want her anymore has never crossed his mind. He is such an idiot. A frustrating, too-sweet idiot and she absolutely loves him. She feels like she's going to start crying again, just from knowing that he knows now, but before she can, Daryl swoops in and his hands grasp her hips as his mouth covers hers. He gives her a hard kiss that seems to immediately steal all of her breath and he begins gently pushing her backwards towards her desk.
She instantly wraps her arms around his broad shoulders and she returns his kisses with kisses of her own because it has been way too long since Daryl has kissed her like this; kissed her like she's not about to break at any minute; kiss her like he really wants her. And right now, as he gently lifts her up and sets her down on the edge of the desk behind her, he presses himself against her between her spread thighs and she can feel just how much he wants her right now.
Beth's just glad cupcakes aren't in the oven right now. She wants no interruptions.
…
"You a'right?" Daryl asks as he sits in her desk chair and she's in his lap, her head resting sleepily on his chest and his hand is resting on her bump, able to feel their baby moving around in little movements inside.
"Mmmm," she hums pleasantly with a smile, nestling closer to him. She feels completely boneless and she's never felt better. "I feel much better than alright," she says and she's not looking at his face but she can hear him smiling a little, too. She closes her eyes and his hand rubs little circles on her belly. "And the baby is just fine, too. See?"
"Mm-hmm," he nods. "'m sorry, Beth," he then sighs and she opens her eyes, tilting her head up to look at him. "I read in the book that you would probably feel unattractive or unwanted and I just never thought…" he trails off then, trying to get his thoughts straight. He settles his eyes on her face. "I never wanted to make you feel that way."
Beth gives him a little smile but she doesn't tell him that it's alright. He was really doing a number on her head but at least he's aware of it now and it doesn't matter that she knows that Daryl loves her and is attracted to her. The pregnant her didn't know that and that's really all she's needed for the past few months from him. She's just needed her husband to make love to her and make her feel beautiful again.
"She's bein' really active tonight," Daryl then comments, his lips resting against Beth's temple and his hand never lifting from her belly.
Beth smiles at that. "She?" She asks.
For the past few visits to the doctor, they have tried to tell the sex from the ultrasound but each time, their baby has stubbornly been turned in such a way that they haven't been able to tell. They still have yet to know what they are having and Annette and Maggie are getting so impatient with finding out, they have begun buying things in both blue and pink just to be covered no matter what Nibblet turns out to be.
"Jus' a guess," Daryl shrugs a shoulder then. "Jus' a feelin' I'm gettin'. Would make sense for us to have a girl. Nothin' terrifies me more than havin' a daughter and it'd be the universe's way of just screwin' with me."
She laughs softly and pulls her head back to look up at him. "So, what do you think?"
And he knows what she's referring to and he doesn't ask for clarification. He sighs then as if he's tired of it but she knows he's just acting. "I don't hate it," he then admits and Beth can't help but beam at that.
"Good. Because I really love it."
"Yeah, I know you do," he gives his head a nod. "I was thinkin' of the playground and all the names kids could taunt her with but I couldn' think of any. Even got Merle to help."
Beth laughs, imagining Daryl visiting his brother in prison and both of them trying to think up of cruel nicknames that their child might be exposed to if they name them something in particular. And actually – even though she loves Merle – Beth thinks that Merle is the perfect person with who to try and brainstorm taunts.
"And what's the verdict?" She asks.
His hand is still rubbing circles over the bump and he gives a nod. "If we have a daughter, we can name her that."
She smiles and stretches her neck up, kissing his jaw. "Ophelia Dixon," she says as if wanting to taste it out loud. "Ophelia Ruth Dixon," she then tries again.
"Ruth?" He raises an eyebrow at that.
"I like old-fashioned names," she smiles with a shrug.
"Clearly," he almost snorts and then let out a chuckle as she elbows him playfully in the chest. He moves his arms and wraps them around her, holding her tightly to him. "'m sorry for the way I've been actin' towards you," he then says in a low voice.
"You don't have to be anymore," Beth shakes her head and rests it to his chest. "I know that you've just been wanting to look out for me and the baby. The rational side of my brain knows that. Being pregnant, though, really doesn't make me rational," she says and she smiles up at him but Daryl's not smiling.
Instead, he's just staring down at her, his eyes dark and heavy. He lifts a hand then to the side of her face, brushing hair back, his thumb sweeping across her cheek. She nearly closely her eyes at his touch but she kept them open so she could look at him.
"I love you more than anythin' in this world, Beth," he said, still in that quiet, low voice of his. "I don't want you to ever forget that."
She shakes her head and she feels like smiling but for some reason, it feels inappropriate at the moment. So instead, she covers his hand with hers. "I know you do, Daryl. And I'll never forget that. And now, you know, pregnant sex is a very good thing."
He leans in and presses the softest kiss to her lips and her eyes flutter closed. When she opens them again, she's not surprised to see that he's staring at her already.
"Want to help me frost cupcakes?" Beth asks and with a little smile, Daryl nods.
…
Before they leave the bakery for the night, Beth makes a sign and hangs it in the door. Closed Until Tuesday. The Pregnant Baker needs rest. She knows everyone will get a kick out of that and she and Daryl carry two-dozen pumpkin cupcakes with cinnamon cream cheese frosting home with them. He hadn't driven either when he woke up and realized that she wasn't next to him anymore though he quickly figured out where she would be and had walked, following her footsteps.
It is almost three by the time they get home and Beth falls onto their bed, her head hitting the pillow and her eyes instantly closing. She feels Daryl get in beside her and he rolls towards her, his body warm and heavy but she doesn't mind and she smiles when he rests his head on her shoulder.
Daryl has always been able to fall asleep so easily and within minutes, she can hear his breathing out as he exhales steadily. And she's tired and listening to him sleep and breathe, it helps pull her into her own slumber with a smile on her face; a smile of contentment because she's finally had sex with her husband.
When her eyes open again, the room is bright with sunlight and birds are singing outside. She hears barking and she can tell that it's Otter out in the backyard, probably being taunted by some squirrel up in the tree. Beth turns her head on the pillow and sees that it's just a little past eight. She knows she should feel more tired but she oddly feels wide awake this morning. Matty's game is at ten. Usually, she has to miss his games if they're scheduled in the morning but today, her bakery is closed and she'll get to go watch her son and come bearing cupcakes for everyone.
Daryl isn't in bed but she's not surprised. Even getting just a few hours of sleep, Daryl has always been an early riser. She listens to him for a moment and finally, she can smell the faint whiff of bacon cooking floating up the stairs. Beth pulls herself from bed, which is becoming more awkward and difficult each morning, and she makes her way to the bathroom, stopping though as she passes the chair in the corner and the black negligee she had tossed into the trash can the night before is now carefully draped over the cushion. She smiles faintly to herself and lets her fingers glide down the front of it, feeling the cool, almost slippery material, before she continues on into the bathroom.
She takes a shower, lingering, scrubbing herself with her pineapple body wash and lilac-scented shampoo. When she steps out, she goes back across the hall and changes into a fresh pair of yoga pants and a too-big green Gators sweatshirt. She combs and dries her hair and puts it into her usual braids, pinning them to the top of her head. She feels the baby – Ophelia, she thinks with a smile, or John – moving within, ready to start their day, too, and when she comes down the stairs, Beth feels like a new person. It's amazing what a little loving is able to do for a person.
Daryl is standing at the stove and he hears her immediately when she enters. He looks at her with a little smile and she beams in return. "Mornin'. I made bacon."
"I can probably eat this whole plate by myself," Beth says, taking it from where it's resting on the counter and she carries it to the table, taking a strip as she sets it down and moaning as she takes a bite.
"I already had a couple of strips so the rest's yours," Daryl tells her.
Beth goes back to him and stands on her toes, kissing his cheek, before going to the refrigerator for the carton of orange juice.
"'m makin' some fried eggs. Or do you want scrambled?" He asks as she slips pieces of bread into the toaster.
"Fried," she smiles at him and as soon as Daryl has her answer, he cracks a couple of eggs on the side of the pan and begins frying them in the bacon grease left over. "So, what are we going to do for the rest of our day after the game?" She asks him, going back to the table for another couple strips of bacon. Otter is scratching at the back door and she opens it, the dog eagerly bounding into the kitchen and then seeing that Beth is eating bacon, he's instantly sitting at her feet, begging for a piece.
"Nothin' planned," Daryl shrugs, grabbing a plate and scooping the two fried eggs out. He holds it out for her to take and she does with a smile. He then cracks two more eggs and begins frying his own. "You wanna do somethin'?" He looks to her.
"We should go to the mall over in Brighton," Beth says and almost wants to immediately laugh at Daryl's expression. She knows that that place definitely isn't her husband's favorite place to be. A large two story mall crammed with stores and people. "You, me and Matty can go to that baby store they have there and buy a few things," she suggests.
Although he seems perfectly fine with the baby – and even excited for his little brother or sister to get here – Beth wants to make sure Matty is as involved as possible with preparations for the new baby. She doesn't want him to ever feel like he's being ignored. This is their family and they should all have a say in anything from now on.
Daryl visibly swallows and then nods. "Yeah. We can do that," he says slowly.
"We won't stay long," she is quick to promise. "Just the baby store and home again."
Daryl scoops his own eggs onto the other plate resting near him and he looks at her, shaking his head. "Nah. We'll stay as long as you want, Beth. Shouldn' rush through lookin' at things for Nibblet."
They sit down at the table and eat their eggs and more bacon and Beth keeps looking at him and wonders if she'll ever get used to just how sweet her husband can be to her.
…
Everyone is so happy to see Beth at the game that morning – not to mention ecstatic when they see that she's brought cupcakes with her. She hands Daryl one of the dozen to hand out to their family and friends who they always sit in the stands with and she then carefully, with the remaining two dozen, makes her way down to the end of the field where the Gators are warming up before game start.
"Mama bear, this is the best reward for these boys," T-Dog says to her with a grin, taking the plastic containers from her and the boys are already all crowding around for one. "After they win this game," he then adds and the boys all groan.
Beth laughs and Matty comes up to her as the other boys begin to disperse – some still begging T-Dog for a cupcake and the others returning to their warm-up drills.
"Hey, sweetie," she smiles down at him. She wants to hug him but she doesn't in front of his friends and not when he's wearing his uniform and pads already. She knows how kids can be at this age and the last thing she wants to do is embarrass Matty in front of his teammates or the opposing team. "Did you have fun with Tavon last night? Did you think his mom for having you over?"
"Yes and yes," he answers with a nod. "Are you okay?" He then asks, looking at her closely, and she melts into a smile.
He may have just turned ten but ever since Beth and Daryl told him of the pregnancy and especially since she began showing, Matty will ask her every day if she's okay. It's incredibly sweet and makes her heart patter and he's always been protective of her but he certainly gets his intense protective trait from his dad.
She can't help it. Beth leans in and kisses his head. "I'm wonderful. Are you okay?"
Matty grins and nods his head. "I'm okay," he answers and she laughs lightly.
"Good luck out there today," she tells him.
"Don't need it," he instantly shoots it down with a shake of his head and she purses her lips to keep from laughing. And he definitely gets his cockiness from his uncle – both of his uncles.
She gives him and the rest of the boys and coaches a wave before she turns and starts heading back to the bleachers. She can see her family and Aaron and Eric and Michonne sitting with them as always, all eating and enjoying her cupcakes, Otter trying to eat the one straight out of Glenn's hand. Daryl looks and meets her eyes and she gives him a smile. She never gets to come to morning games and she's so happy to be here today.
After last night, she really is certain now. Things are as perfect as things can be.
And even though she tells herself that she shouldn't think things like that – not wanting to jinx herself – the thought remains in her head and burrows itself down into her mind and Beth has a feeling it won't be going anywhere anytime soon.
…
Thank you very much for reading and please review!