[CW: Implied sexual themes.]

Joey couldn't believe that five days had passed already. It seemed like just yesterday that Serenity had arrived to stay, and now he was standing in the doorway and watching her pack. Somehow, knowing that she wasn't leaving for good didn't calm the admittedly selfish need to see her eating breakfast across from him, or hear her humming along to the stereo, or feel her random hugs when words just would not do.

He sighed, which caught Serenity's attention. "What's wrong, big bro?" she asked automatically.

"Nothing," he said with a little smile.

She shook her head. "You get like this every time."

Joey chuckled. "Can't help it."

"Well, that's sweet and all, but watching me like that is just a bit creepy. Don't you think?"

Joey threw up his hands in concession. "All right, I get it. I'll go do something productive."

But what exactly was there productive to do on a late Sunday morning? He looked around the kitchen: the dishes were washed, floors swept, fridge full. He looked around the living room: the carpet was vacuumed, windows cleaned, shelves dusted. He looked around his bedroom: it was disheveled, as usual, but he didn't dare upset his "system."

He sighed and grabbed his house keys. He figured he'd check the mail or something, though he never really got anything other than bills and catalogues. "Be right back!" he called to Serenity before leaving.

He walked downstairs to the lobby as slowly as possible — it wasn't like he was in a rush. Once there, and all too soon at that, he scanned the wall of mail boxes to find his. He opened it, grabbed the few envelopes, and closed the box, immediately sorting through it all.

"Bills," he muttered to himself as he headed back up the stairs. He put the labeled envelope behind the rest and continued to flip through the rest. "More bills, junk, and — hello, what's this?" Joey picked out an unmarked pink envelope and brought it closer to his face. He inspected both sides, but all he saw was a small heart sticker sealing the flap on the back.

Joey waited until he was in his apartment to look at the odd envelope again. He threw the others on the coffee table and tore into the pink one. He extracted the pink letter within and unfolded it, revealing neat, sprawling handwriting in glittering green ink.

"To my dearest," he read aloud, "From the day you descended from Olympus into my life, my waking thoughts have been of you. Finally I could not stand keeping my feelings from you, but I am hesitant to admit my identity until I am sure you truly want and deserve to know. Your first task awaits. Think of my monumental love and find me in fair hands. Forever yours, A Patient Admirer."

Joey stared blankly at the letter before bursting into laughter. A secret admirer, huh? Well, who wouldn't be attracted to one of the best and handsomest duelists in the city? The country, even! It made perfect sense. The letter itself, however, did not. What did the admirer mean by his "first task"? Or "monumental love"? Was it a riddle or something?

Serenity rounded the corner with a duffel bag. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"I have a secret admirer," he said, handing her the letter.

Serenity scanned it. She raised an eyebrow as she handed the letter back. "Sounds more stalkerish than funny," she said. "Besides, how do you know it was meant for you?"

"It was in my mailbox."

"Could've been the wrong address," Serenity said with a shrug.

Joey waved a hand in dismissal. "You're just jealous."

"Yes, Joey," she replied, "I'm jealous of your potentially insane new girlfriend."

"I resent that!" Joey said, jumping to his feet. "She might be perfectly normal. And cute." He looked up, imagining what his admirer looked like. "With dimples. And sparkly eyes. And nice figure. And a firm set of —"

"I get it!" Serenity interrupted. "Anyway, you have any idea what the task is?"

"Not a clue," Joey said, shaking his head.

Serenity set her bag down and tapped her chin in thought. "Maybe by 'monumental' she meant a literal monument. Like a statue or something."

"So I find the right statue and she'll be there?"

Serenity shrugged. "How would I know how crazy people think?" She giggled at the frustrated look Joey returned. Before either could say anything further, they heard a car horn just below the living room window. "That must be Mom," Serenity said. "Good luck with the psycho. Love you!" She gave Joey a light kiss on the cheek and ran out of the apartment.

And Joey was suddenly alone again. To fill the silence, he thought about the riddle. If the admirer really meant an actual monument like Serenity said, then which one? Domino was littered with them! It'd take half the day to find them all. But then…what about that "fair hands" part? Fair how? Light? Beautiful? Just?

Just. That was it! The monument she must've meant was the huge statue of Justice in the center of Marigold Park.

Without a second thought, Joey left the apartment to drive over to Marigold Park. Once there, he followed one of the bike paths to the center, where the statue stood tall with sword in one hand and scales in the other. Joey peered up at it and saw a slip of paper sticking out of her scale-bearing hand.

He looked left and right to make sure there were no authorities around before climbing the statue. The higher he got, the more stares he attracted from the passers-by below, but all he saw was the pink slip of paper getting closer.

"Joey?" a familiar voice called beneath him.

Joey hazarded a look down and saw Mokuba staring up in shock and confusion. "Oh, hey, Mokuba. What's up?"

"Well, you are, apparently. What're you doing?"

"Trying to get this piece of paper." Joey returned his attention the task. When he was high enough, he reached out and grabbed the paper. He quickly climbed back down and waved it in front of Mokuba's face. He opened it and read it aloud for Mokuba's benefit. "To my dearest," he began, "Congratulations completing the first task. Find your second in time. (If you're lost, just follow the bells.) Forever yours, A Patient Admirer."

"What's this all about?" Mokuba asked.

"I got a letter from a secret admirer this morning telling me to find her here," Joey said, nodding to the statue, "only, I found this note instead. And another riddle." He stared at the note blankly.

"Maybe she means a clock," Mokuba said with a shrug. "You know, 'in time'?"

Joey nodded. "Makes sense. But where? And what kinda clock?"

They thought for a moment. "Oh!" Mokuba cried. "The clock tower! That's why she said 'follow the bells.'"

"Then what're we standing around here for? Let's go!"

They ran off to the main square, about a block over from the park, and entered the clock tower. It was swimming with tourists, and they had to dance to get out of everyone's way.

"I think my brother threw a charity event for this place," Mokuba said pensively, looking around. "Haven't been here since."

"Well, where would someone hide a note?" Joey asked. He looked around, too, but to no avail. There were too many possibilities.

"Hmm…the note says 'in time,'" Mokuba said, "so maybe she meant the actual clock." They looked up at the extremely distant clock face and accompanying staircase. "Well, good luck with that," Mokuba said as he turned to leave.

Joey caught him by the collar. "Oh, no you don't," he said. "I need someone to carry me back down when I pass out from exhaustion."

Mokuba groaned. "I'm way too nice."

They slipped past the guards and began their long trip to the top of the tower. When they eventually got there and caught their breath, Joey scanned the clock face for a note. "I see it!" he shouted. Above the platform closest to the clock face (across from theirs) hung a bell, and from that, a rope with a pink slip attached.

"Great," Mokuba said. "How are we supposed to get to it?"

Joey looked around. Along the circular wall of the tower was a narrow ledge, just large enough for him to stand sideways. "Wait here," he said. He hopped over the railing and edged his way to the other side of the tower, careful not to look down. He grabbed onto the other platform's railing as soon as he could reach it and climbed over it. After untying the note from the bell's rope, he turned to give Mokuba a thumbs up.

"Awesome!" Mokuba called to him with a grin.

Joey waited until he had carefully edged back to the tourist side of the tower to read the note. "To my dearest," he began, "Your endeavors are certainly admirable. In no time, we will be joined in glorious love. Your final task will be to stand proud before Sunset and profess your love! Forever yours, A Patient Admirer."

Joey furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. "This is the hardest one," he said.

"I don't know," Mokuba said slowly. "I have a bad feeling about this."

Joey rolled his eyes. "You sound just like Serenity," he said.

"R-really?" He almost smiled but shook himself out of it. "Doesn't matter," he said. "This girl sounds crazy!"

Joey waved his hand in dismissal. "She's just hopelessly in love with me. And who could blame her?"

Mokuba narrowed his eyes at Joey. He was beginning to see what his brother was talking about…just a little. Oh well. He'd just have to break it to him. "Joey," he said, as though explaining something to a child, "she's talking about vows."

Joey stared back. "I don't get it."

Mokuba face-palmed. Then again, some people just had to learn the hard way. "Well," he said, "she also mentioned sunset. Maybe she means the Aurora Chapel."

"That's, like, four blocks from here. Let's go!" Joey grabbed Mokuba's hand and ran down the stairs.

Despite Mokuba's protests, Joey didn't slow down until they were before the chapel. He released Mokuba's hand and stared up at the mahogany double doors and cream colored walls and frosted windows.

"Whoa," Joey said softly. He shook himself out of his reverie and went in.

"Mr. Wheeler!" A bespectacled woman wearing a pencil skirt and her black hair in a bun charged over to Joey and Mokuba. "You're late!" she said. She took Joey by the wrist and marched him to the other side of the lobby. "It's too late to change you, we'll just have to make do with this." She gestured to Joey's outfit.

"Wait — what's going on?" Joey demanded from the lady.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't even pretend you don't know what's waiting on the other side of this door." She pushed him through the doors with surprising strength. Mokuba followed, and the doors closed ominously behind them.

Joey stopped dead in his tracks, causing Mokuba to bump into him. "Hey! Watch where you're —!" Mokuba stopped when he saw Joey look around with awe and did the same.

The room was huge with a vaulted ceiling, from which hung an intricate chandelier that threw little rainbows around the room. Rows of plushy seats led to a huge altar, before which stood a young brunette in a flowing white sundress. She turned and beamed when she saw Joey.

"Joey Wheeler!" she called to him. "He was right! You did come!"

"Come on, Mokuba," Joey said softly, "let's get out of here before she captures us!"

"But isn't this what you wanted?" Mokuba asked, looking up at him with a confused expression.

"No, she's —" But before he could finish, the girl ran over and threw her arms around Joey.

"I've missed you so much," she said, bursting into tears. Mokuba backed away from the emotional wreck. Joey looked like he wanted to, but couldn't escape her grasp (so that's what he meant by capture).

Finally, she saw Mokuba. She released her hold slightly and pointed. "Who's that?" she said.

"Mokuba," Joey said with a grimace, "meet Vickie, my ex-girlfriend."

"And future wife!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the altar. "Good thing you brought a witness."

Joey managed to free himself. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said quickly. "Married? I haven't seen you in years and the last time we spoke we were fighting!"

"Yes, but I've forgiven you, hun!" She tried to grab him again, but he dodged her.

"I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but I'm out. Come on, Mokuba." He and Mokuba turned to leave. He tried to open the doors to the lobby, but they were locked.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere," Vickie said in a low voice. "Not until I get what was promised to me."

"Promised? I never promised you anything!"

She waved her hand. "Not you. Kaiba. He told me you'd come here looking for me." She grinned mischievously. "He even paid for the ceremony."

Mokuba face-palmed for the second time that day. "So this was his devastating counter attack. Figures."

Joey clenched his fists. "That's going too far, Kaiba," he said as if Seto were there.

"As you can see," Vickie continued, "everything's set up. I'm not leaving here without my wedding."

Joey was running out of time. There was no way he could marry this psycho, but she didn't seem keen on letting them go. "H-how about this," he said, making it up as he went along, "why don't we, uh, go out on a nice, romantic date and get to know each other? Then we'll see if we still wanna do this."

Vickie mulled it over. "Okay," she said with a shrug. "But don't try to run away. I will find you." And with a laugh, she looped an arm through his. She unlocked the door with a key hanging around her neck and skipped through the doors.

Joey hadn't really thought the plan through. At the time, all he wanted to do was get himself and Mokuba out of the room with the lunatic. But now, they were both stuck with her. They had tried twice to ditch her — once when she went to the bathroom at the restaurant and again when she had turned to ogle a new pair of shoes — but she managed to drag them both back with uncanny strength.

Joey looked across the table at Mokuba. He felt terrible for dragging the poor kid into the situation, but couldn't help thinking he had something to do with it.

"Hey, kid," Joey whispered to him while Vickie told the waiter her order. "Did you know about this?" He pointed to Vickie with his eyes.

"No," Mokuba shook his head emphatically. "Although…it does explain why Seto really wanted me to go to Marigold Park today." He shrugged. "He probably knew you'd need help with the riddles."

"Why, you —!"

"And for you, sir?" the waiter interrupted.

"Oh," Joey said, flustered. "Just water." The waiter nodded, collected the menus, and left.

"Honey bunch," Vickie said, touching Joey's hand, "you haven't eaten all day."

Joey removed his hands from the table and folded them in his lap. "I'm not hungry yet. I'll eat at the next place." Good Lord, the next place? This couldn't go on. Joey was working with finite resources, and Vickie was bound to catch on to his stalling sooner or later. Joey tried to think of a plan while Mokuba and Vickie ate but came up with nothing. When they left the restaurant, the sun was beginning to set.

"I'll take you home, Mokuba," Joey said. "I-if it's okay with you, dear," he said to Vickie. The sweetness in his voice was sickening, but he tacked on a smile anyway.

"Of course," she said, shifting her shopping bags to one hand so she could pinch Joey's cheek with the other. "I think it's hot when guys are nice. Sexy, even." She winked at him.

"Okay," Joey said loudly, very aware of Mokuba's presence suddenly. "Let's get going!"

Vickie filled the air with her incessant talking, all the way back to the Kaiba mansion. She felt the need to fill Joey in on all the things he missed in the three years they were separated. Apparently, her sister was moving away, she started a new job, she caught her best friend and ex-boyfriend making out, and a host of other things Joey stopped listening to.

When they arrived before the estate, Mokuba couldn't get out of the car quickly enough. He thanked Joey for the ride and the food and ran the rest of the way to the front door. Once he was safely inside, Joey mumbled "Lucky," under his breath and pulled away.

"Oh, look!" Vickie said, pointing to a bright neon sign on a corner. It belonged to a three-story club whose music Joey could hear from the car. "Can we go? Pretty please? I haven't been dancing in so long!"

Joey was inclined to day no, but then he thought about all the thick crowds he could lose her in and smiled. "Sure," he said, "anything for my cream puff."

Vickie giggled. She waited for Joey to park before hopping out of the car. They had to stand on line for almost an hour, during which Vickie restlessly bounced around in excitement. Once inside, they were immediately inundated with warm, dancing bodies. However, Vickie managed to keep a firm hold on Joey, absolutely refusing to have another partner and glaring daggers at any girl who dared approach him.

Finally, Vickie led him to the bar. "Man, I need to catch my breath," she said. She ordered two daiquiris and handed one to Joey. He nursed his and watched her drink. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this? "Well, I'm heading back! Coming?"

"Lemme finish my drink," Joey said. Vickie smiled and left him at the bar. When she was out of sight, he gulped down the daiquiri and ordered three other drinks. He had a feeling alcohol was the only remedy for this syndrome.

Joey woke in a dark room. He sat up, his stomach feeling queasy. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he saw that he was in a bedroom, and an unfamiliar one at that. He looked to his right and saw someone face down beside him. She was a brunette, and her white sundress lay in a heap on the floor behind her. Joey hoped against hope that he was wrong, but he had to be sure. He lifted the curtain of hair and saw none other than Vickie. And to his horror, what they did last night was a complete blur.

Joey carefully rose from the bed, threw on his clothes, and left the apartment. He wandered around the unfamiliar neighborhood until he found his car. All he wanted was to get as far from Vickie as possible, shower away the sweat and shame, and plot vengeance.

"Watch out, Kaiba. The battle may be won, but the war has just begun."

AN: This fic...it's...it's...over 9000 (words)! Again, couldn't resist.

Also, don't worry, Serenity'll be back...eventually.