Sexplosion

by Meinos Kaen

As we all know, when the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi, Konoha should have gotten away from it without any more collateral damage than what it had already incurred in, but... Demons are a malicious bunch. Adopted from Legendary Legacy.

6. Chapter 5

Alright, here we are! The first chapter written by me with always the help and guidance of Legendary Legacy! Chapter 5 of Sexplosion! Hope my own writing holds at the comparison. Enjoy!

Sexplosion

Chapter 5

Morning.

He needed to get up. The sun had already risen, it was his first official day as a genin, and he would have to be at the academy to find out who his newly appointed teammates would be in less than an hour. The smell of breakfast wafted through the air even with the door to the room closed, causing his stomach to rumble. And if he continued to lie there for too much longer, She would undoubtedly show up.

He really needed to get up.

But he couldn't.

Because it was morning. And he was currently experiencing a problem that a lot of guys face when first waking up in the morning.

And he absolutely refused to move an inch until it went away.

So there he stayed, curled up on his side, eyes closed, and trying desperately to focus his mind on absolutely nothing; something he was damned good at after so much practice. And if he could just keep it that way for about ten minutes he'd be in the clear.

For about an hour.

It was a right pain in the ass doing these meditative exercises eight to ten times every day. And it didn't help that everyone around who saw him in the middle of it labeled it simply as 'brooding'. Though, to be fair, half the time they said that he would indeed be brooding, but that wasn't the point... It was still a much easier way of escaping his problems than...resorting to the obvious alternatives.

As he lay, unmoving and unthinking, he was finding his concentration faltering a lot more than it normally would, which was odd because the sexual tension didn't feel any stronger than it normally did.

But...

There was this noise.

This annoying, high-pitched noise on the very edge of his subconscious, that just wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried to focus on the nothingness. He was so tempted to open his eyes and find out where the noise was coming from, but he could feel the last traces of sexual urges still raging within his body, and if he stopped now he'd have to start all over again in just a few minutes. But rest assured, the producer of that noise was going to find itself broken or dead if it didn't stop real damn soon!

A few seconds later, the noise did cease, but only to be replaced by a loud pounding noise, instead. Not quite as annoying, but still very distracting for one seeking a clear mind and inner peace. But if there was anything you could say about him, it was his dedication to a goal, and he trudged on a few moments longer until that last stubborn tendril of lust completely dissipated.

With a groan, Uchiha Sasuke opened his eyes, sat up, and stretched, fighting through his body's weariness.

And as he did, his bedroom door slammed open, and in dashed a little blue and black blur, which proceeded to latch on tightly to his outstretched arm.

Sasuke's body froze. Shit! He turned his head, leveling a demonic glare at the offending creature, who smiled back as cheerfully as an eight-year old girl possibly could.

"Get up, lazy oniichan!" the girl chirped, turning her body away from him without releasing his arm.

"Don't you dare-!"

"HII-YAA!" With a battle cry and a strength that belied her small size, the girl hurled Sasuke off the bed, over her head, and out the bedroom door.

Down the hall, another girl, older than the first and dressed in a thick, oversized grey shirt and matching pants, exited the bathroom, toweling down her boyishly short hair. As she made her way toward the stairs, she took an instinctive step to the side, just in time to see Sasuke go sailing ass over teakettle past her. She watched stoically as he flew down the stairs, finally touching down with a sharp crash at the base of them. He continued tumbling and skidding out of her vision before a second crash signaled his abrupt stop courtesy of the far-end kitchen wall.

Hearing the small pattering of feet behind her, she turned to see the younger girl, clad in a bright, headache-inducing neon blue spandex suit. The little girl's arms flapped up and down rapidly while her two, knee-length pigtails bounced about in time with her steps.

"Good morning, imouto-chan," the older girl offered in a flat, monotonous tone.

The girl screeched to a halt in front of her, waving and hopping in place. "Morning, Ileyana-neechan!" she greeted in a way that the older girl found far too cheerful so early in the morning and far too loudly for their close proximity.

"Indoor voices, Kohana."

"Right!" she said, lowering her voice by about a tenth of a decibel. "Hey, hey neechan! Did you see? Where did he hit? Did he make it to the stairs?"

Ileyana pinched the bridge of her nose. "...Passed the stairs."

"YAY! New record!" Kohana cheered, then twirled around three times, pumped her fist in the air and sprinted down the stairs; arms still flapping, hair still bouncing.

Ileyana watched her sister run off before tossing her towel over the nearest doorknob and followed after her at a much more subdued pace.

Down in the kitchen, Sasuke found himself staring up at the ceiling, his back curved up the edge of the wall and his legs splayed out above him. He let out a weak groan and attempted to disentangle himself.

"Good morning, oniisan," a new female voice greeted a few feet away. "You're just in time for breakfast."

Sasuke growled, ready to fire off a nasty retort for the girl's nonchalance over the treatment he'd just received, when his earlier tormentor burst into the kitchen, leapt over the table and landed next to the latest speaker, a girl who looked in the same age group as Sasuke or Ileyana, wearing a black, Uchiha-crested yukata with a long red ribbon tied through her hair.

"Mission completed, Shina-taichou!" Kohana said with a salute.

The older girl smiled and gave her a pat on the head. "Good work, Number Two. I see that excessive force was again necessary this time?"

"Yep yep! Kohana-chan got to practice her brand new Arappoi Kakusei no Jutsu*! It's super-effective against Sleepy-Heads!"

(*Roughly translated: 'Rude Awakening no Jutsu')

The two continued to chat as Sasuke finally managed to slide himself down until his body was even with the floor. As he tried to sit up, a pair of bare legs appeared beside him.

"Ko-chan got you good this morning, ne Sasuke?"

Sasuke growled louder before his eyes involuntarily drifted up the legs to face the speaker, but stopped halfway. "That had better not be a thong, Sorano!"

Sorano blinked at the unexpected statement, then grinned, not even bothering to shift herself away from Sasuke's view. "Sure is! I just bought it yesterday! How's it look? I think the color really accentuates my natural skin-tone!"

"Take it off this instant!" he demanded, causing her to recoil and tug down at the end of her skirt.

"Sasuke! Looking is one thing, but I am your sister, you know?"

Sasuke's froze, realizing what he'd just suggested. "Wait, that's-!"

"Honestly, oniisan," Shina interrupted, sounding deeply disappointed. "I'd have expected better than that from you of all people."

"I didn't mean-!"

"Niichan's bein' pervy! Niichan's bein' pervy!" Kohana sing-songed merrily.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT, DAMNIT!" Sasuke bellowed, pointing angrily toward Sorano. "Go to your room and put on something more appropriate!"

Sorano went from scandalized to annoyed in an instant, puffing her cheeks out and crossing her arms over her chest. "Come off it, Sasuke, what exactly could I wear that you would consider appropriate? Boxer shorts? Heck, if you had things your way all four of us would be wearing chastity belts and cast-iron corsets."

"You can't wear a thong with a skirt to school," Sasuke stated firmly. "I hear enough talk going around already about all the unnecessary jumping and flipping you do during your physical training classes."

Sorano let out an indignant huff. "For your information, I only do that during sparring classes, and it's not my fault that all the boys just happen to completely drop their guards whenever they get a quick peek up a girl's skirt. What kind of kunoichi wouldn't exploit such an obvious weakness?

"Besides, thongs are more comfortable to train in than regular panties. I don't have to worry about them riding up halfway through since they're already there to begin with. And I get a much easier movement range with my legs when I wear skirts."

Sasuke grit his teeth. "And you're telling me your performance would slip dramatically just from putting on pants?"

"Pants are for boys."

Kohana moved over to tug on Sorano's shirt. "But neechan, Ileyana always wears pants."

The mentioned girl chose that moment to enter the kitchen behind them.

Sorano looked down at her little sister and shrugged. "My statement remains valid."

Only Sasuke was in position to see the tiny flinch pass over Ileyana's otherwise blank face as she flicked something from her wrist toward Sorano.

Though she felt nothing, the moment an eerie hissing noise made its way to her ears, she knew she was in danger.

"Get it off!" she shrieked, twisting her arms behind her in a vain attempt to grab the small slip of paper that was stuck to her shirt, right between the shoulder blades. Kohana came to her rescue, pulling the tag off and tossing it out of the kitchen half a second before it burst into a relatively small explosion.

"Ileyana!" Shina yelled, in the process of carrying pots and plates of food to the table. "I've told you a hundred times before: No explosive tags in the house!"

"That's all you're mad about?" Sorano demanded, alternating death glares between the two of them. "What about me?"

"I was getting to you," Shina told her. "Stop antagonizing your sister like that and these squabbles wouldn't happen."

"That's not what I meant! The psycho tried to kill me! Again!"

"Don't get so worked up," Ileyana muttered, sitting herself at the table. "It was only a quarter-tag explosive. Worst case scenario you'd lose that skanky outfit and maybe get a few first-degree burns. Nothing life threatening."

"Well thanks for restraining yourself, you mannish frost-bitch!"

"That's what loving sisters do, you decadent whore."

Sasuke felt the urge to bash his head against the wall, but he already had a headache as it was. But what he wouldn't give for just one normal morning that didn't involving being flung from one end of the house to the other and listening to the bickering and death-threats of his younger siblings.

Fortunately, the biting insults that they just traded usually signaled the end of the morning fights, and sure enough, Sorano was already seating herself for breakfast, as far away from Ileyana as possible. Wearily, he took a seat beside Ileyana, Kohana instantly plopping down on his other side while Shina began passing food around. While it happened, Sasuke took a moment to silently reassess the remains of the family that sat around him.

First, there were the triplets: Shina, Sorano, and Ileyana. They had been some of the first children to be born into the village during the early stages of the infamous baby boom following the Kyubi attack, and were in fact born exactly nine months to the day of said attack.

And identical though they were by birth, anyone who didn't already know them would be hard pressed to tell at this stage, either through appearance or personality.

For starters, Shina, the eldest by five minutes, was both highly reasonable and responsible for one her age. She was the one to take up the brunt of the housework with only an occasional complaint if someone wasn't pulling their own weight like they should be. She could be highly strict at times, often acting as peacekeeper whenever fights broke out, mainly between Sorano and Ileyana, but was generally a very carefree girl, and an easy one to get along with. She reminded Sasuke of mom, which he found a bit irritating considering she was a year younger than he. Even her rather conservative appearance reminded him of his mother, as did another personality quirk that never failed to make him roll his eyes when he was around to witness it...

Sorano, the middle girl of the set, was the one that Sasuke didn't like too well. Oh, he cared for her just as much as the others, of course, but he just couldn't help but notice how she seemed to go out of her way to annoy him and undermine his authority as Elder Brother far more than any of the other girls did. For one, she had incredibly girly tastes, never wearing anything that wasn't brightly colored or covered with flowers or hearts or kitties.

Ugh.

And of course she would only wear dresses and skirts, no matter the occasion (or how many times he told her not to). Her hair was always tied back in some overly fancy braid with more of those cutesy, girly hair clips holding it in place, and it certainly wasn't above her to point out to everyone else in the house just how unfashionable they were.

But the thing that bothered Sasuke the most about her was the fact that she had awakened her Sharingan a little over two months ago. Awakened it before he had! And to make it even worse, she wouldn't, or rather, couldn't tell him how she had done it, because it had apparently happened while she was asleep.

'I just woke up this morning and when I looked in the mirror, there they were,' she had said with a shrug.

God forbid that he could ever be so lucky.

The youngest triplet, Ileyana, was a polar opposite of Sorano, which was what led to so many of their frequent squabbles. Where Sorano loved girly crap and put extra effort into making herself more feminine, Ileyana was quite often mistaken for a boy by passing strangers. With hair even shorter than his own, and clothes that were so formless and loose that only a Hyuga would be able to tell what her body actually looked like (though, if they were smart, they'd not ever attempt it), and a wrapped chest for good measure, she could have easily passed as a brother to the rest of them. And thanks to a rather icy demeanor, combined with an intimidating aura that she constantly projected, both men and women tended to keep their distance while in her presence, which suited Sasuke perfectly. Just one less sister that he needed to worry about.

And finally, there was the baby of the Uchiha clan, Kohana, who was living proof that any gene pool was capable of dealing a wildcard now and then.

Kohana was a happy little girl, but that didn't quite say it. Kohana was happy in the same way that the Rain Country was wet. She was happy like an Akamichi was hungry. She was happy A LOT. ALL THE TIME. And she certainly wasn't shy about sharing that happiness with everyone else that she met. Shina had once mentioned that Kohana could give new hope to a man with a noose around his neck and one foot off the chair. No one thought for a second that she might be kidding.

Personally, Sasuke hoped it was just one of two phases that she'd grow out of soon.

The other phase was her habit of picking up random throws and grappling holds from various sources, usually some violent TV show or comic book, and then 'practicing' them on him at any given moment, though first thing in the morning was currently at the top of her list. None of them were ever really orthodox taijutsu in nature, but then she'd never showed any interest in becoming a real kunoichi anyway.

Sasuke briefly wondered just how old his youngest sister would have to be before he'd be able to throw her back without feeling guilty about it. He had a lot of paybacks saved up already. ...Probably never. Damn conscience.

"So oniisan," Shina began once everyone was eating. "Who do you suppose you will be teaming with from now on?"

Sasuke paused for a moment, having not given any thought to the subject at all. He really had no idea who Iruka would think to stick him with, but the safest answer would probably be-

"Two losers."

Shina rolled her eyes. "Well, you are the top of your class. Maybe you should have downplayed yourself a little? You know: trick them into pairing you up with someone who wasn't at the bottom?"

He grunted through his food. "Wouldn't have made a difference even if that wasn't something I'd never consider doing. Hopeless, annoying girls or moronic, annoying guys. The only graduate who might not fall into either of those categories is that Aburame boy, and I only say that because he's never annoyed me personally."

"More please!" Kohana requested, holding her empty plate and bowl out.

"It's too bad you couldn't have waited a few months and graduated with us," Sorano commented, absently refilling Kohana's dishes. "Maybe they would have stuck us together as an Uchiha Team."

He suppressed a shudder. Just imagining having to share a team with Sorano and Ileyana, who couldn't go for half a day without starting something between each other was...well, something he was glad that he didn't have to imagine.

"Well, what about your sensei?" Shina continued. "Any idea there?"

"Don't care. Just so long as he doesn't hold me down."

"Unless it's a sexy brunette with double-D's, right Sasuke?" Sorano teased. "Wouldn't you want someone like that to hold you down?"

Sasuke suppressed a weak shudder while Ileyana glared coldly across the table at her, which she ignored.

"More please!"

"Kohana, you'll make yourself sick eating that fast right before training," Shina chided.

Sasuke's chopsticks snapped between his fingers. "Training?" he repeated, glaring in Kohana's direction, noticing for apparently the first time the shocking blue spandex she had on.

"Mm-hm!" she answered, oblivious to the evil-eye she was receiving. "Gonna go play with Gai-yaji and Lee-niichan again! Yosh!"

"What have I told you about associating with those two?" he demanded.

"...Not to?"

"Exactly. So, pray tell, why are you doing it in spite of that?"

"Shina-neechan said I could."

Sasuke redirected his glare to Shina, who smiled right back. Sensing the brewing of another old argument between the two, Sorano and Ileyana both pushed their plates away and set out for the academy, not bothering with goodbyes as they would be largely ignored at this point anyway.

Sasuke held the stare-down for a few more seconds before turning back to Kohana. "And have you forgotten that, as the oldest among us, you should be listening to me when I tell you things and not your sisters?"

Kohana shrugged. "Well, no...but whenever you guys argue about what I can and can't do Shina-neechan usually lets me do the stuff I want, so I like listening to her better."

Once again he returned his glare toward his eldest sister. "You see what happens when you spoil her all the time?"

Shina shook her head and began gathering up the dishes. "You're overreacting again, oniisan. Maito-san and Lee-san are both perfectly wonderful gentlemen. If you'd just take the time to get to know them a little better-"

"I already know all I need to know about them," he grumbled, falling into familiar brooding territory. "Two grown men in spandex, hugging each other in public, shouting about bursting on the flowers of youth or some shit... Probably lolicons."

"Sasuke, now you're just being ridiculous."

"Am I? I'm not the one sending our eight-years-old sister out to spend time alone in a forest with two pedophiles!"

"What's a pedophile?" Kohana inquired.

Sasuke facepalmed.

"Now see what you've done?" Shina berated him. "And I don't want to hear anymore of that. I've spent time with them as well and I know for a fact that they are polite, funny and very friendly people."

"I'll bet they told you they had some candy back at their house for you too, didn't they?"

Shina shook her head, sighing in exasperation. Why her brother had to be so damn stubborn over the silliest of things... "If it will put your mind at ease, Neji-san and Tenten-san will both be there as well."

"Oh goody. A guy who can see through clothes and Konoha's youngest up-and-coming shibari expert are going to be there to protect the innocence of my sister from the sex-fiends. Why didn't you say so before?"

"What's shibari?"

"Go grab your equipment, Kohana," Shina instructed in an attempt to distract the girl from any further questions. "I'll walk you over to the training grounds in a few minutes."

"'Kay!"

When the sound of Kohana's footsteps faded up the stairway, Sasuke went to speak, but was cut off.

"Sasuke, I understand what you're trying to do, but please believe me when I tell you that you're going overboard. It's okay to trust other people outside of the four of us," she insisted. "They're not all nearly as bad as you make them out to be, you know?"

Sasuke glared at the tabletop in silence for several seconds before standing up and walking toward the front door. "You wouldn't feel that way if you had seen the things that I've seen."

She watched him go, her former good mood now ruined. She sighed as she placed the used dishes in the sink. Maybe she'd stick around for a while when she went to drop off Kohana. Lee and Gai always were good at cheering her up with their silly poetic speeches and cheers and poses. Oh and their eyebrows. Those big, adorable eyebrows that made her think of cute, fuzzy caterpillars. She wondered if either of them could wiggle their eyebrows. That would be SO CUTE! Like caterpillars trying to crawl across their forehead-

"Neechan! I'm ready!"

"Ah! Er, right, right! Let's...be on our way then."

-Breakline-

Morning.

She needed to get up. Today was her big day; having finally proven to her family, herself, and anyone else that might have doubted her that she was worthy of being a kunoichi. Now she could go on to prove her worth to Sasuke (and the rest of them) and when he finally acknowledged her, he'd…he'd…

Well, the fantasies could wait.

For now, she really needed to get up.

But she couldn't.

Because every time she tried to move her body, her head felt like it was going to split apart. And if past experience was anything to judge by, she felt that she'd be better off simply going back to sleep.

Haruno Sakura's eyes cracked open, snapping shut a nanosecond later as the blinding rays of god-awful sunlight pouring through the window attempted to burn directly through her retinas and incinerate her brain. The unearthly bellow of pain, which was really a near inaudible moan, she released didn't help matters one bit.

Damnit, not this again.

It would be something surprising to learn that a fourteen year old girl like Sakura, a girl who constantly ranked highest in academy exams and other written assignments, who had memorized the Book of Shinobi Laws forward and backward, and was honestly what a lot of students would refer to as a teacher's pet, would often wake up with hangovers. An even bigger surprise would come from learning that these hangovers never had anything to do with alcohol.

And though she found it a bit odd to refer to her condition as getting 'drunk' when she'd never touched so much as a drop of alcohol in her life, that was really the best way she could think of describing the process of it. She would lose her senses, black out from time to time, develop a wicked migraine the next morning, and worst of all: would usually wake up to find herself in someone else's bed with very little recollection of how she got there or the details of what she had done with them.

That all seemed like a fairly typical drunken process to her, at least.

Loath as she was to do it, Sakura weakly began to move around, hoping that her clothes (which she already knew she wasn't wearing) weren't scattered too far away. There was a good chance that she would feel the need to grab them and run once she was aware enough to figure out who she was laying next to.

With her eyes still shut tight, she began fumbling around with her arm, having it come to rest not on her clothing, but what her blurry mind recognized as the curve of someone's bare shoulder-blade. She cringed, her fears now confirmed; but who was it? She was too afraid to look and find out, the shock might traumatize her.

More information was necessary before trusting her eyes, so she allowed her hand to roam a little.

To start with, the person's skin was incredibly soft, to the point that it might have been more so than her own. That was different from the last few times, but not unwelcome. The person was facing away from her, and she couldn't stretch far enough without moving the rest of her body to feel the chest, so instead worked her way down from the back to the hip, finding it all rather trim and quite toned. That was reassuring; it meant it wasn't Akamichi Choji again.

Emboldened by what she was feeling, she allowed her hand to graze her bedmate's rear-end.

"Mmm, Sasuke-kun."

Sakura's fuzzy brain snapped to attention. ...Sort of.

Sasuke-kun? It couldn't be...!

She was in bed with Sasuke-kun?

And she couldn't remember any of it! Had he been good? Well, of course he had, he's Sasuke-kun. But had she been good? The people that she woke up next to in the past usually had positive things to say about her performance, but what had the performance been like?

How was she supposed to gloat about this to the rest of the girls at the academy if she couldn't remember the details!

...Actually, who cared about that at the moment? For right now, she was here with him, and it was time to make the most of it before he got up.

This was quality spooning time!

It was nearly thirty seconds after she had pressed herself as tightly as possible against the body next to her, using an arm and leg to hold it against her even tighter, when her disheveled mind made two unwelcome realizations.

One: She definitely hadn't been the one to speak Sasuke-kun's name a minute ago, and if she were sleeping with Sasuke, she was pretty certain that he wouldn't be mumbling his own name. If anything, he'd be mumbling her's.

And two: Sasuke-kun should definitely not have breasts.

These revelations were enough to finally force Sakura to open her eyes, pain be damned. And she happened to do so at the exact moment that the other decided to twist around until they were face to face.

They opened their eyes at the same time, blinked three times in unison, then inhaled deeply.

-Breakline-

Yamanaka Inoichi nearly upended his cup of coffee as twin screams ripped through the house.

"Good Lord," he muttered once the noise died down. "Didn't those two get enough last night?"

"Well, they are still young, after all," Yamanaka Michiru stated as she calmly took her seat beside him. She sipped at her tea before continuing. "I seem to recall someone keeping me awake all through the night not so long ago as well."

Inoichi puffed his chest out. "I was quite the stud, wasn't I?" But his good mood didn't last long. "What's become of our little Ino; Barely a month under the influence of the pheromone and already she's tired of men and bringing girls home instead? How am I supposed to feel good about intimidating her lovers if they're girls? That seems so cowardly, doesn't it? I'd feel like such a bully."

Perhaps that's why she switched to girls. "Calm down, dear," Michiru said, giving him a small pat on the shoulder. "Ino's just experimenting a little, I'm sure. Testing the waters a bit like we've all done at one point or another."

Inoichi crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "I've never tested any waters like..." His eyebrow suddenly quirked. "You mean...you've...tested the waters before?"

Michiru rolled her eyes. "Well don't sound so surprised. Taking a couple practice swings for the other team isn't exactly unheard of in this village, you know?"

"Really?" he said, a lecherous grin appearing on his face. "And who exactly were you...swinging with?"

She put a finger to her chin. "Well let's see...there was that one time about ten years ago with Mikoto-"

"Wait, wait!" he cut her off with a raised hand. "Mikoto? Uchiha Mikoto?"

"That's right."

He shivered. "Never mind. I think I'm better off not hearing this."

Michiru frowned, but shrugged. "Suit yourself. The point is, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about in regards to our daughter's attraction to boys."

"If you say so, dear. Maybe the plan of uniting the three families isn't lost after all."

"Trust me, Inoichi, I think it's still less likely than you would care to think."

"Nonsense! It's foolproof: First we just have to get Ino interested in Shikaku's boy, then get Inoji interested in Choza's girl, and then once we have the third set of kids Shika gets his girl interested in Cho's boy. Then we're all one big glorious family. How could that go wrong?"

"...I can't imagine, dear."

"Where is Inoji, by the way? I haven't seen him yet this morning."

"He spent the night at the Haruno's with Nori. I think the girls must have been making too much noise for him."

Inoichi hummed softly. "Well he'll be okay then, but shouldn't we go tell Ino and her friend that they'll be late?"

"Just give them a few more minutes to get themselves organized."

-Breakline-

"Oww," Sakura groaned. Ino made a similar noise of discomfort. The two had separated so quickly that they'd both fallen off the edges of the bed, and were now slowly making their way back to their feet.

Sakura's formerly blurry mind was now racing in full clarity. Ino? She had slept with INO! How had THAT happened? Even if she had allowed herself to go through with it, she couldn't believe that Ino would have as well.

"Geez, Forehead," the aforementioned blonde grumbled as she staggered to her feet. "I could have done with a wake-up call that didn't involve seeing your colossal cranium half an inch from my face first thing."

Sakura didn't bother with a scathing retort of her own, putting her energy into remembering the night before. Ino took the time to stalk around the room, grabbing a new outfit from her closet and kicking Sakura's scattered garments toward her. She looked pissed, Sakura noted, and that made her nervous. She'd been told before that she could become rather aggressive when situations like this occurred, but surely she hadn't...forced herself on Ino, right?

"I still can't believe you actually went through with that," Ino stated while slipping into her purple shorts. "I thought for sure you were just trying to screw with my head and then back out at the last second."

"What do you mean?"

Ino whirled on her. "What, did you forget what we were arguing about last night?"

Sakura sat back on the bed, brow furrowing in concentration. "Give me a minute, my head's still a bit fuzzy." She thought back on what all she could remember from the day before. "Let's see...after we graduated you, me and a bunch of the other kids from class went out and celebrated for a while. ...Then when it started getting dark the two of us walked back to your place. We...got into another argument over who was more deserving of being Sasuke-kun's first."

"You're getting there," Ino urged, pulling her shirt over her head.

"Umm...then you said that it should be whoever the better lover was. I asked how we were supposed to decide something like that. Then..." Her eyes widened. "Then you were kissing me! And after that..."

After that was when I gave in to...

"And after that you picked me up, all but threw me on the bed, and then...well I shouldn't have to tell you what we did after that."

"Er, actually-"

"And just so we're clear," she interrupted after tying her hair back into its normal ponytail. "It wasn't me who started kissing you."

Sakura jumped to her feet. "Hey, I may not remember everything else yet, but I definitely remember you- hey, where are you going?"

Ino stopped at the doorway. "I'm going to find my brother, and kill him. If you'd like to help, then hurry up and get dressed."

-Breakline-

A few blocks away, two young boys, both looking to be in the area of twelve or thirteen years of age, walked in silence. The first, a long-haired blonde wearing a burnt-yellow vest over black shirt with matching pants, was staring up at the sky, a small smirk of contentment on his face while his fingers idly combed through his hair. Beside him, the other boy was frowning weakly at the ground with his hands buried in the pockets of his white jacket.

"Nice weather for so late in the year, huh?" the blonde casually asked his companion, who didn't respond, just kept trudging on as though he hadn't heard anything.

Undaunted, the blonde continued. "I wonder if I could convince Eiko-sensei to let the class keep practicing outside until the weather turns bad. Would sure beat having to take more tests over the Second Shinobi War. I should have brought her a rose from the shop."

Still no reply, other than a weak snort.

"Eh, you're right. I can probably work my magic just as well without the rose. She likes me well enough, anyway."

The other boy rolled his eyes, but still refused to speak.

The blonde smirked and ran his hand through his hair once more as he swerved around, walking backward directly in front of the silent boy. He knew how to get a reaction from him.

"So you're still mad at me, huh Pinky?"

"Don't call me that!" the boy shouted, throwing a punch at the blonde, who dodged nimbly.

"Just call 'em like I see 'em, Nori-chan."

"And don't call me that either," he grumbled, instinctively reaching up to tug on the black silk scarf tied over his head, beneath which a few strands of bright pink hair could be seen. "You know how I feel about my hair, Inoji."

Inoji laughed at his friend's discomfort. "I think everyone knows how you feel about your hair, Nori. Why don't you just dye it? Or shave your head or something?"

"Like I haven't tried that," he said sourly. "I had the open bottle of dye in my hand when mom burst into the room, noticed it, and then sent me on a three hour guilt-trip about being ashamed of her family's heritage." He gave the loose strands a tug, glaring at the few that came off in his hands before letting them drift away on the breeze. "Family curse is more like it."

"Well, she has a point," Inoji told him. "Everyone should appreciate the qualities that they inherit from their parents. Like me, for instance: I got my dashing good looks from my pop, and my ability to charm the daylights out of the opposite sex from my mom, and I never take those things for granted." He placed his hand on his chin, appraising Nori up and down. "You, on the other hand, need to find a way of putting to use your mom's girly pink hair and your dad's, er...uh, your dad's... Does your dad pout a lot, maybe?"

"Shut up," Nori sulked, attempting to brush past the blonde and end the conversation.

Inoji chuckled and fell back into step with the other boy. "But seriously, you're not still upset about what happened last night, are you?"

"Upset?" Nori parroted. "About what? All you did was take possession of your sister's body and then start making out with MY sister. Why on earth would that upset me?"

Inoji shrugged. "That's what I'm trying to figure out. Are you telling me that watching two hot girls make out isn't something very awesome?"

"No...But when one of the girls is my older sister and the other girl is, for all intents and purposes, you, it does a lot to negate the 'hotness' factor. ...And that isn't even the point, damnit! What made you think that doing something like that would be a good idea?"

Inoji just shrugged again. "Hey, in my defense, the scenario played out a lot differently in my mind. The way those two were yelling at each other at the time, I thought the moment Sis kicked me out of her mind the two of them would start slugging each other until it became apparent that the situation was all a big joke on my part. And before you say anything, she kicked me out after about three seconds, so everything that happened after that was totally not my fault. Hell, you should have told me beforehand that your sister was a lesbian!"

"Sakura is not a lesbian!"

Inoji lazily draped an arm over Nori's shoulder. "Buddy, before you dragged me out of the house last night, I saw your sister do three different things that told me conclusively that she likes girls. Wanna know what they were?"

"I will stab you."

The blonde removed his arm, holding his hands up in a placating manner. "All I'm saying is: A girl can't willingly put her mouth on that part of another girl's body and then claim to be completely straight, that's all."

Nori rapped his knuckles against his forehead, hoping that the pain would distract him from the mental images that were now flooding his brain. "Look," he growled. "It's more complicated than that. The whole pheromone thing has a weird effect on Sakura and it makes her act kinda crazy from time to time."

"...You mean by making her desperately want to have sex with people, kinda like what it does to every adult in this village?"

"No! It's not just...just... Just forget it," he finished with a sigh.

Inoji shrugged and the two lapsed back into silence for a couple more blocks.

"They're going to kill you for this, you know?" Nori finally mentioned.

"Hm?" Inoji hummed, having been staring at a young woman wearing a short dress, who was on top of a ladder trying to hang a sign above the shop door that they'd just passed.

Nori elaborated. "You used one of your family's Mind Jutsus on your sister, so obviously she knows that it was you who did it. Once they're up and aware of what happened they're going to hunt you down and pick your bones clean."

"Ah, that. Not to worry, Nori-chan," he stated, idly dodging another wild swing from the shorter boy. "I already have that all taken care of."

Off in the distance, a murderous cry was heard.

"IIII-NOOO-JIIII!"

Nori shuddered. "For your sake, you'd better be right."

"All under control," Inoji said confidently, forming a quick handseal. "By the way, I know this is short notice, but I need to borrow your body for a little bit."

The pink-haired boy looked confused. "What do you mean-"

"-borrow my body? What the Hell!" he finished, finding himself suddenly staring at...himself. Glancing down, he saw not the white jacket and black shorts he'd been wearing, but instead the yellow and black outfit of Inoji's. Reaching up, he felt his hands brush through Inoji's slightly longer blonde hair.

"What did you do!" he demanded.

"You should run." 'Nori' suggested.

"What?"

'Nori' glanced behind him. "Nope, too late."

Still bewildered, 'Inoji' turned around just in time to see the livid face of Yamanaka Ino right before a fist connect with his jaw, crumpling him to the ground.

'Nori' didn't even have to force the cringes to his face as he watched his sister leap onto the fallen 'Inoji' and proceed to thrash him.

Once she was finished, Ino glared down at the twitching boy. "Try something like that again and I won't be so nice about it, got it!"

'Inoji' could only whimper in pain, while 'Nori' tensed up and stepped to the side as Ino stormed past him. He nearly breathed a sigh or relief before he found himself in a crushing headlock.

"O-owowow! Sakura, what the hell?"

Sakura pulled him backward until they could see eye-to-eye. "Tell me, Nori, did you have anything to do with this?" she growled menacingly.

"Ow! Have anything to do with what?"

Sakura glared at him a moment longer before dropping him to the ground. "I'm in a hurry, but don't think I've let you off the hook yet, got it?"

'Nori' nodded frantically and Sakura ran off to catch up to Ino. Once they were out of sight, he stood up and popped his neck. "All things considered, I guess I got off easy."

He smirked and flicked a finger through the loose strands of hair below his scarf. He loved being a Yamanaka; mind tricks were just so badass.

"It's too bad your parents wouldn't let you be a shinobi, Pinky," he commented lightly as he knelt down next to his fallen friend. "You probably could have avoided that if you'd had even the slightest bit of training."

"...hate...you..." 'Inoji' groaned as he struggled to his knees.

'Nori' laughed, hoisting the prone boy up to his feet. "You know, Nori-chan, as long as I don't move too far away from you I can keep this jutsu going all day, and I certainly don't have to stop off and let a medic patch that body up before I go to school, either. Maybe you should be a bit nicer to me, hm?"

'Inoji' was reduced to incoherent grumbles as 'Nori' carried him off. He was in severe pain, his 'best friend' was an asshole, and he was doomed to a life with girly pink hair.

Things couldn't suck too much more.

-Breakline-

"Stupid, annoying, bratty little..."

Sakura walked on, lost in thought as Ino continued with her tirade on her brother. She was feeling really foolish knowing that it had been Inoji who had initiated things between them, and if that had been the case, she wondered how things had ended up going as far as they had. "Hey, Ino?"

Ino stopped raging at hearing Sakura's quiet tone. "What, Forehead?"

Sakura tugged nervously on her shirt, not meeting Ino's eyes. "I guess...what happened with us was all because of a misunderstanding, wasn't it?"

Ino stopped walking and looked at Sakura inquisitively.

When she didn't get a response, Sakura decided to ask. "I didn't... you know...make you do anything that you didn't want to, did I?"

Ino's demeanor turned completely aghast. "You...honestly don't remember any of it, do you?"

Sakura hung her head. "It'll come back to me eventually, but for now, no."

"Not even when you said..." she trailed off.

She looked back up. "Said what?"

Ino deliberated for a few moments, then shook her head. "Nothing, s'not important now."

"But-"

"And don't even kid yourself into thinking that you could force me to do something that I didn't want to, either."

Sakura blinked in shock. "Then...you did want-"

"Stop asking dumb questions, Forehead!" Ino shouted, giving the other girl a shove with just enough force to make her stumble.

"Ino!" she yelled after the departing girl.

"Until you remember what happened there's no reason to worry about it," she called back. "So no more talking about it until you do, got it?"

Sakura scratched her head, unsure exactly of what to make of Ino's mood swings. Then again, she'd always been kind of moody...

But maybe she was right. She did have a lot of other things to think about at the moment. For now, she had to go become a kunoichi and meet her sensei and teammates.

"And by the way," Ino said once Sakura caught back up. "I'll be expecting you to hold up your end of the agreement and stay away from Sasuke-kun from now on."

"Excuse me!"

She smirked. "Well obviously you don't remember, but I completely rocked your world last night, so I won the deal."

"Oh, I'll just bet your did!"

"The orgasms spoke for themselves, Forehead."

"I'll bet I didn't even get off once!"

"Trust me, everything you gave, I gave back three times!"

"You can't prove that!"

"You can't prove otherwise, either!"

"Then it's a stalemate, so Sasuke-kun still isn't yours, Ino-pig!"

"No, but he will be soon enough, Billboard Brow!"

"Get back here!"

And thus, the rivalry resumed.

-Breakline-

Morning.

He needed to get up. The sun had already risen, it was his first official day as a genin, and he would have to be at the academy to find out who his newly appointed teammates would be in less than an hour. The smell of breakfast wafted through the air even with the door to the room closed, causing his stomach to rumble.

He really needed to get up.

But he couldn't.

Because it was morning. And he was currently experiencing a problem that a lot of guys face when first waking up in the morning. At least a lot of guys who lived in Konoha: a sleeping beauty using his right arm as a pillow.

"… Nee-chan…" It felt slightly wrong using that suffix now that they had gotten that close, but it was probably going to stick forever nonetheless, and from what he had deduced from the picture that Kiba carried around, he guessed that a few people didn't see blood relationships as a valid point on the subject of 'not having sex'. Not him, of course, but some people…

The point was, Ayame had showed him just what he had been missing on. While he would never be crazy about it like every other single person in Konoha, it had felt damn good. He didn't know if it was just the act itself of having sex or it was because Ayame was good at what she did, and what she did was really nice, but it felt damn good… Apart when she had slipped one finger a tad too low. That had scared him shitless. She hadn't done it again.

She couldn't blame her for sleeping so soundly. There wasn't a clock in the room, and he doubted he could have paid it much attention, but he was sure they had finished sometime around 1 AM, and they had started at 10 PM, and he knew that Ayame didn't have his same kind of stamina, after three 'desserts' after dinner in a week and three sets of earplugs for Teuchi. He called softly for her again. "Ayame-nee-chan… I need to get up…"

"Hmmm…" She stirred a little and then fluttered her eyes open, before laying a soft kiss on his chest. "Still sleepy… Shut up…"

"No can do. I have to get to the academy. It's my big day." She opened her eyes and pouted a little, and he knew what she meant. "The sun had already gone down. I can't exactly call it my big day…"

"… You're a pest." She got up on her arms, standing on all fours over him and planted a series of pecks on his lips, before grinning mischievously, seeing that Naruto appreciated what the position did to her breasts. "You know, even that first time, you were awfully good, Naruto. Are you sure you didn't practice with yourself?"

"Nee-chan…" Naruto blushed, shuddered and pouted at the same time, for the compliment and for the implications of his Oiroke no Jutsu's possible use. She always managed to do that. Ayame chuckled and planted another kiss on his lips, making him blush again.

"I guess you're just a natural, then. Soon, I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off you anymore, you know?" Naruto rolled his eyes and then mock-pouted.

"Awww, does that mean that you will be too occupied to make me any more ramen, nee-chan?" Naruto said, and Ayame moved her eyes upward, a mischievous smile and a finger on her lips. The blonde shuddered.

"Well, maybe there's a compromise…"

"No." Naruto said, pushing himself and Ayame in a sitting position, and the girl delighted herself in the panic she saw in the boy's eyes. "Please, do not do that, Ayame-nee-chan. Sex and ramen at the same time… I would die of bliss."

"I guess I will save it for your next birthday, then." She giggled and kissed him again, before getting on her feet, a sheet wrapped around her body. Naruto was about to complain when she suddenly threw his clothes at him. "Come on, we got to take a shower. Together, of course, or we'll never make it on time."

Naruto groaned but then smiled, rolling his eyes. The smile wasn't going to go away for a while, too.

-Breakline-

"Come on! Please, a little peek!"

"You've got enough peeks during the night. It was off, if I remember correctly."

"But I was… Ehm, too occupied…" The man just shrugged his shoulders and adjusted his forehead protector over his left eye, covering it. He had trained to keep it closed without even thinking about it, like breathing, but he preferred keeping it open under the forehead protector.

"Sorry, gotta go. Have to pass by the cemetery and then go to the academy. Have a nice day."

"W-Wait!" He disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving a pouting woman behind in her bedroom.

-Breakline-

"Eh… It happened again." He had appeared right in front of the tombstone, as always. "It's incredible. It seems that even if someone lays his eyes on my face, the memory lasts less than 24 hours. Mah…" Kakashi scratched the back of his head, talking to the tombstone. "So… How are you doing?"

Of course, he was talking to his defunct best friend, and of course he got no reply. No vocal one, at least. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on. How was I supposed to know that Konoha would become 'heaven on earth', like you said? And I don't think that even knowing it would have changed much, you know…" More silence. "Now, that's just…" Silence. "Now you're being unreasonable." Kakashi frowned at the tombstone. "Fine! Be like that! See if I care…" Silence. "… I know you were just joking." Silence. Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Again? But I will be late as usual… Today they're going to give me my team, so…" Silence. He sighed. "Alright, alright. Well, first thing, she was a redhead. I know you loved redheads. I picked her up…" No wonder one-night-stand Kakashi of the Sharingan was always late for appointments. Obito is a sucker for details.

-Breakline-

"Aaah, good morning, my friends. It is a good day, isn't it?" Sarutobi was indeed having a great day, having just finished another session at the Konoha spa right that morning. His body felt refreshed, his spirit was soaring high, and his smile was warm and kind.

"... Ning..." Though, it seemed that the Jounin gathered in the room didn't share his enthusiasm, as he noticed. Most were looking at the ground, most seemed deadly tired, and some were shuddering, if his old eyes weren't failing him.

"... Alright. I don't think I need to tell you why we're here this morning, do I? Today, we will assign the genin teams for the tests. I already have a general idea of who will get which trio, but I am open to suggestions." The fire shadow suddenly narrowed his eyes. He had noticed that Kakashi was late as usual, but that wasn't the reason. "As long as it's not things like 'a fourteen years old shouldn't have that kind of ass legally'. Seriously, I'm still creeped out from last year, Aoba."

"Oh, like you haven't seen things like that before." The scarred Jounin commented, muttering something else under his breath.

"I know that it's common place! I placed the law! But most people don't speak of their teenagers-scoring efforts in public!" The Sandaime sighed and calmed himself down. It wasn't like he wasn't aware that some Jounin teachers had a very personal relationship with their students, for obvious motives, but he preferred to not be reminded. As much as he loathed it, his mindset wasn't completely suitable for his village's current state. "So, anyone wants any particular genins for their tests?"

"Hiiiiiiiiiiii, everyone!" The door slammed and most of the Jounin in the room shrieked and hid somewhere in the darkness. Why they were holding that meeting in a dark room, the Hokage couldn't place it. With a wave of his hand, he told the nearest one to the window to raise the shutters, which only prompted the Jounin to shriek even more as they lost their cover and the light revealed a grinning purple haired woman. "It's been a while, old man! How's your arthritis?"

"... Better." No, really. It was better ever since Izumi had joined the spa. She really knew her job as a masseuse. "Well, not that it isn't a pleasure to see you, Anko-chan..."

"Speak for yourself..." The Hokage silenced Raido with a glare.

"But I have to ask, what are you doing here? This is only for Jounin teachers, and..." Then, Sarutobi suddenly noticed that there was another person missing, apart Kakashi. He hadn't noticed because of the closed shutters and because she had never been late once in her life. "Wait a minute. Where's Kurenai?"

"Ahhh, you old cook, you! You're pretending you didn't notice signing my transfer!" The Hokage's eyes widened. "And as for Kurenai-chan... Well, she soooo wanted to come, but she made me an early birthday gift and decided to give up her teaching job for this year in my favour!"

Sarutobi face-palmed as he realized just when she could have slipped in a transfer notice without him noticing. On a paperwork day, Sarutobi first read through every single paper so to ascertain he wasn't signing anything he didn't know about. Then, he took a quick bathroom break, since he ate and drank while reading through the whole day, and then signed everything in one swift rapid hour. How could she had made it past the Anbu on guard, that was to see.

Little did he know that they fled at the sight of Anko. The two male Anbu had been one of her earliest preys in virgin hunting and one of the first experimental subjects with the snake arts. When they still weren't as refined. "... She's in your basement, isn't she?"

"Strapped upside-down to a wooden cross." Anko replied, chirping. Sarutobi groaned and motioned to one of the Anbu out of the window to go and free the woman.

"Oh, well... I guess the meeting has to go on. It is the morning of our students' graduation, after all... So..." Sarutobi dreaded to ask, since there was no way Anko hadn't thought of the simple possibility of him denying her 'suggestion' for a certain student to be placed in her care. "Once again, I repeat the question. Anyone has any reason as to explain why a certain student should be tested and hopefully assigned to his care?"

"I have two, actually, old man!" Anko said with a grin, and Sarutobi blinked. That, he really didn't expect. Who was the other poor bastard?

-Breakline-

"Nope. Nope... Yes. Nope. Nope... Yes." Kiba Inuzuka had been noticed for being even more boastful and loud than Naruto sometimes, even if his ninja skills were greater. Putting the two together, he had found himself a game that he played each morning with Akamaru as he waited in class, ever since he came of age. The 'who had sex last night' game.

He had learned a few years before how to detect and recognize a person by its smell, even objects, hell, even water. It was a short trek to learn the smell of afterglow. So, he played with Akamaru on who could guess it right every morning. If they focused, they could even find out who they had had it, but it was more difficult because the smell of sex usually overwhelmed that of the other person.

"Nope. Nope... Yes?" Kiba raised an eyebrow as he smelled sex coming from a guy he had been berating the past week for still being a virgin. He grinned and jumped out of his seat to greet him. "You dog! You did it!"

"... Kiba." Naruto sighed. He was half expecting that, to tell the truth. He didn't even try to move out of the way as the Inuzuka landed on him. He threw him off when he started rubbing his knuckles on his scalp, though. "OW! KNOCK IT OFF!"

"Congratulations! And here I thought you would never score! Oh, wait. It was probably pity sex, right? Took my suggestion?" Kiba dodged the unfocused punch of Naruto easily. "Meh, whatever. Sex is sex... Wait a minute. What are you doing here?" Kiba had just remembered that Naruto had failed spectacularly his graduation ninjutsu exam, and had as such flunked it a third time. "You failed, didn't ya?"

"Well, I obviously passed, instead. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the forehead protector." Naruto grumbled, taking a sit in the row immediately in front of Kiba, who was sitting back in his place.

"How?" Naruto groaned, expecting the question.

"I'm forbidden to talk about it. Sorry..." The Hokage had placed a new rule. No one was allowed to talk of Mizuki's problem or anything concerning it. That included only him and Iruka, for the moment, and since he had been the one who had brought the guy to therapy sessions, even if the traitorous teacher somewhat deserved it, he didn't feel it in himself to argue.

"Hmm... Alright! Returning to you getting laid..." Naruto held the bridge of his nose. What was with males and their need to know and boast about getting laid? Fortunately, salvation came in the form of Akamaru's yappings. "Uh? What was that, Akamaru?"

"I was here first!"

"No, me!" Naruto's face suddenly brightened as he saw his crush appear in the classroom, those pink hair so familiar and warm to him, and now he could see her in a different light too, thanks to Ayame. He kinda understood that now, if he even wanted to relate to Sakura in a way that didn't involve physical harm, he would have to act more mature and...

"WHAT? NO WAY! THOSE TWO?" His adult train of thought got interrupted as Kiba shouted, and then... It was like an earthquake. The whole building shook, he was sure. He wasn't sure if Kiba was still alive after both Ino and Sakura had punched his skull through his desk and into the floor.

The whole class stared aghast as the two girls raised their fists and patted their hands. Naruto was pale as a sheet as he watched the two girls glare at the unconscious form of the Inuzuka among the debris of his seat, Akamaru having jumped out at the last second, now hanging to the blond's head, shaking in fear.

"Watch your mouth when ladies are in the room, mutt." Ino said as she shook her hands as to shake off them some kind of liquid.

"Seriously..." Sakura joined in as she cracked her knuckles, observing the twitching form of Kiba for a few more seconds before reminding herself that she and Ino were having a race. "I'm sitting near Sasuke-kun!"

"No way! And... Uh? He's still not here?" Naruto made a mental to avoid Sakura and Ino for the rest of the day, while he checked Kiba's pulse and Akamaru licked his owner's face clean from blood.

-Breakline-

"So... No one else wants to... Take care of at least one of the two candidates?" No one even dared to move. Whatever Anko had done to each of the people in the room, be it blackmail, threats of death by sex or or just plain death, was working.

When Anko told him the names of the two genin that she wanted, he understood why she would want the other one too. As he had forethought, he simply refused her the right to do so. The only thing he needed was another Jonin willing to take one the two students, only to find the whole room not uttering a word. "I... See..."

"Ohhh, thank you so much, guys! I promise to hold on that end of the deal!" Anko grinned and blew kisses to most of the room, before turning to the Hokage again. "So, I guess that means that..."

"Sorry, I was sidetracked by a dead team-mate demanding more details on my sexual escapades." Anko cursed loudly, recognizing the voice. Wasn't he supposed to be always two hours late to everything? That morning, seemed like he had taken a sabbatical on tardiness.

"Ahhh, Kakashi. Kakashi Kakashi Kakashi." The third was grinning viciously while the cyclopean jounin raised one hand in a gesture of salute. "We were talking about genin teams placements right now."

"Ah, right. I want Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke." Anko had half an idea of attacking Kakashi right there and clawing out the other eye, but she sighed, reminding herself that he was stronger than her. "Respecting the council's wishes, protecting my teacher's legacy, and balancing the team. Cool, right?"

"Cool indeed, Kakashi. Cool indeed." Sarutobi smiled widely at Anko, who was grumbling under her breath. "So sorry, Anko-chan."

"... I bet you are..." She sighed and then slapped her face. She had lost her target yet again, but she knew that it wasn't going to be that easy. She still had the other subject, though. She revived her grin at full force. "Well, I suppose that leaves me only with..." Then she fell face first into the ground, under the surprised stares of everyone around.

"What the...?"

"Genjutsu." The unbelievably cold voice came from the entrance, where the room found in their field of vision the angry, fresh off an used jutsu and fortunately clothed Kurenai. "She had this a long time coming."

"Ehm... Kurenai. Glad you... Set yourself free." The sandaime said, uneasy and wiping a bit of blood, the image of a naked Kurenai strapped upside down to a wooden cross just now surfacing in his mind. The Jounin shook her head.

"I didn't free myself, Hokage-sama. It was an Anbu." The sandaime nodded, content that, for once, his orders had been carried out swiftly and quickly. Little did he know that the Anbu who had freed Kurenai and thwarted Anko's plans had long, purple hair.

"I must say though, I'm curious as to the nature of the genjut..."

"I know a song that neeeeeeeeeeever eeeeeeeeends..."

"Alright. That's just cruel." The Sandaime sighed while he produced out of his vest his famed crystal ball. "While we continue, let's check up on your prospective students, shall we?"

-Breakline-

"For the last time, go. Back. Home." Sasuke grumbled, gritting his teeth as he tried to persuade his two 'escorts' to respect his wishes and leave him alone.

"For the last time, we have matters to take care of at the academy. It's not like we're following you just to embarrass you in front of your other classmates." Sorano said with a grin, while swirling her head around, her braid flying through the hair while Sasuke held the bridge of his nose. He should have seen something like that coming.

He slowly turned to Ileyana, who had completed her get-up with pants with a kunai pouch tied via bandages to her right tight and a blue cloth tied around her forehead, which went perfectly fine with the gray, long sleeved shirt, and was perfectly fine with him, since there was no way anyone could now tell she was a girl. Still, she was following him to the academy as well. "Et tu, Ileyana?"

"We have to turn in the documents to enroll for the next year." Saying that, the short-haired girl produced a bunch of papers from her right sleeve, showing them to Sasuke. "She has that other goal."

"Ngh." With that last grunt of disapproval, Sasuke decided to just shut up and deal with possible consequences as they came up. That's what it always came to, with his sisters. Also, with both Sorano and Ileyana, there was the chance that Sorano's attempts to embarrass him would be stopped by the more glacial of the triplets, and the only embarrassment would be to stop them.

-Breakline-

"Come on, don't worry. I'm sure he will be fine." Akamaru just whined, still not able to shake off the image of Kiba lying in his own blood. He sighed, acknowledging that while he had been on the receiving end of Sakura's punches more times than he liked to admit, he had never seen her exert that much force, and he knew for a fact that Ino was as strong at her. "The nurse said he will recover, didn't he? So let's... Huh."

"Hmm?" One was coming back from the infirmary while the other was heading to class, and they met each other right in front of the door. Naruto's reaction was an immediate frown at the sight of his self-approved rival, as an answer to the Uchiha's own frown, which was for personal reasons, but now the blonde had earned his attention. First, because of the forehead protector. Second, because he was currently 'housing' the Inuzuka's dog. "What are you doing here?"

"I graduated, of course." Naruto replied, a bit angry. He was expecting that question from a lot of people, since Iruka's shout of 'you fail' had been heard through the whole academy, but coming from Sasuke, it sounded condescending to him. "I took a... Repair exam."

"Hmph... And why are you carrying Inuzuka's mutt around?" Said 'mutt' growled in retaliation, while Naruto laughed a bit nervously.

"Ehm... Let's just say that Sakura-chan and Ino are a bit... Over-excited, today." Sasuke let out a small groan, and Sorano took that occasion to snicker.

"Ooooh, I know those two! They're your two most rabid fans, aren't they? Do I feel sorry for you, Sasuke!" That was when Naruto noticed that Sasuke wasn't alone.

"Uh? Who are you? I don't recall seeing you in this year's class." He said.

"None of your business. They're just my siblings." Sasuke's immediately went into overprotective brother mode, living by his code that the only acceptable relationships his sisters could have with Konoha citizens was one of long distance correspondence. Even if he had noticed that Naruto still acted normally, when he wasn't pranking people, he just thought of him as a late bloomer.

"Your siblings...?" Naruto observed the now smiling braided girl and the other figure, of who he could see only face, hair and hands because of her very baggy clothes. "Well, that's a surprise. Didn't know you had sisters. Hope they're not as annoying as you are."

As soon as those words left his mouth, all the siblings turned to him wide eyed. Even Sasuke, who had chose to ignore Naruto and just go ahead in the classroom. He suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable because of the attention. "... What?"

"You said... Sisters." Sorano said, a bit uncertain. Naruto went to instinctively scratch the back of his head, but then remembered that Akamaru was still resting on its top.

"... Yes? Why? Did I get it wrong?" Sorano crossed the distance between the two in a second, then grabbed Naruto's head and pushed it closer to Ileyana, with Naruto not putting up much resistance in the process.

"Where the hell do you see anything remotely feminine about her? How did you guess? Are you psychic or something? I mean, flat chest..."

"Oi."

"Uncared, tomboyish hair..."

"Stop."

"Frigid demeanor, even more than Sasuke, who's poster boy for apathy."

"Hey." This was Sasuke and Ileyana both.

"How in the depths of hell did you manage to... Ahhh! Take it off! Take it off!" Ileyana suddenly and loudly, as opposed to the earlier occasion that morning, stuck a smocking paper-bomb to Sorano's head, who let go of Naruto to put her hands to good use and remove and disable the bomb, while Ileyana just glared at her and Sasuke groaned.

"Seriously, though, dobe. How?" Sasuke asked, the strange burst of insight from the dead last of their graduating class truly surprising him. Suddenly, a possible explanation came to his mind, and he narrowed his eyes and his fingers etched dangerously close to his weapons pouch. "Have you been spying on my sisters, Uzumaki?"

"What? No!" Naruto replied indignantly, just as Sorano finally defused the paper-bomb, sighing in relief. "I mean... Her hands and her eyes! Look! They're clearly feminine! How can anyone mistake her for a boy, I don't know!"

The trio of Uchiha all stared strangely at him for a few seconds, before they all turned as one man to Ileyana, observing her hands like their owner herself was doing. Naruto pinched his nose and then shook his head, Akamaru hanging on for dear life. "Whatever. I'll see you inside, bastard."

With that, he opened the door to the classroom, stepped inside, and closed it behind him. Sasuke turned around and stared at the door for a few seconds, still a bit unnerved that, if he was to believe Naruto's words, he had deduced Ileyana's sex with just a glance, and that just couldn't be. "... Go back home. Both of you."

That said, he mimicked Naruto and entered the classroom, only slamming the door behind him, earning a flinch from Sorano. "Jeez, what's with him? One guy gets your sex right and he's a stalker?" Then she turned to Ileyana, who was still staring and turning around over and over her hands. A wicked smile suddenly came to her lips. "But still, really an interesting guy... An attention for details, indeed."

"... My hands?" Ileyana was still trying to find out what Sorano had already noticed. Her sister's hands were pretty slender and soft-looking, as opposed to most of kunoichi, because handling kunai and shuriken usually left many little scars from misuse. Even she herself had a few, while Ileyana had none. She would never said it out loud, but she envied how Ileyana could handle anything hand-held with ease and quickness and without harming herself. There was a reason why she never noticed when she stuck paper-bombs to her body till she saw the smoke.

-Breakline-

"Confess! You've been spying on my sisters, you stalker!"

"For the last time, I didn't! What kind of sick pervert did you take me for?"

"Hinata, what's with the gloom aura?"

"Alright, class, settle down!" Iruka entered the classroom along with a heavily bandaged Kiba, to find most of it staring at Sasuke and Naruto almost at each other's throat and a strangely sulking Hyuuga. "Take a seat, Kiba. Sasuke, Naruto, sit down."

"... This is far from over."

"Whatever..." Sasuke stormed off and Naruto was about to do the same, only to find that the only free seats were the ones they were already occupying. Grudgingly, they sat near each other, while Kiba limped to a vacant front seat as Akamaru ran back to him, but there was not going to be much piggyback for the day.

"Alright. So, I'll be reading your team formations. As you all probably remember, you will be split into teams of three and be assigned to a Jounin instructor. Team 1..."

"... Seriously, what's up with Sasuke-kun today?" Sakura and Ino had observed in silence the scuffle between the 'rookie of the year' and the 'dead last', and had wisely chose to not get involved, since it looked like one of those times when Sasuke was really pissed off. The pink haired girl glared at the latter of the mentioned graduating ninjas. "Damn that Naruto... Always pissing off Sasuke-kun."

"But stalking his sisters? I mean, Naruto is a goof and an idiot, but I never thought of him as a stalker... Then again, in this village you never know." Ino said pensively, putting a finger to her lips. "And it's not even that bad thought of anymore... Why, I remember my father telling me of a girl who paid..."

"Whatever! He pissed off Sasuke, and so it's automatically a bad thing... Oh, god. What if he has been stalking me as well?" Sakura retorted while Iruka kept on listing off the various teams. "I really hope to get placed on a team with Sasuke-kun, but more than anything I hope to not..."

"Team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura..." Naruto's head immediately perked up, breaking his rage induced trance while Sakura's forehead impacted the table heavily. "And Uchiha Sasuke." The two quickly exchanged stances, while Sasuke was fought between sighing and glaring at Naruto. "Your sensei is..."

"Hatake Kakashi. Team 7, you're with me." Iruka jumped and almost dropped his papers, at Kakashi's sudden appearance. "Sorry, Iruka."

"K-Kakashi? You're..." Iruka's heartbeat calmed down when he realized just what Kakashi's presence implied. "... You're early?"

"Let's just say that I didn't foretell recent... Developments in team dynamics." Before even the team got formed, he forgot to add. "So, let's go on the roof, kids." Also, the Sandaime had suggested heavy surveillance on Naruto, given recent developments in the now very bold efforts of a certain special jounin in 'bagging the fox'.

-Breakline-

"Nii-san, your team is at the door."

"Thanks, Hotaru." Neji once again found himself in contemplation, holding a kunai with both hands, sitting in the middle of his room, the point vaguely aimed at his eyes, meditating the pros and cons of the gesture. He was at the moment really tempted to go with it, after his father had decided for another lesson in 'voyeur duty', the most classy way to call the newfound, never thought of use of byakugan.

He sighed and pocketed the kunai back, getting up on his feet and opening the door of his room, finding himself in front of the few things that still made him hang onto life. His younger sister. Many people joked about how she could pass as him only a bit more feminine. Same jet black hair, tied in a thick ponytail, only, she liked to drape it over one of her shoulders, the left at the moment, plus the clear pupil-less Hyuuga trademark eyes.

His sister was maybe the purest person he knew, still tied to an ideal of fable-like romance. He liked to berate her about her collection of romance novels, but right now, after his father's lesson in the duty of the Hyuuga males, it was one of the things he hang on. He feared the day she would start feeling the effects of the pheromone. That would maybe be the day he gave up on life and his sight. "Hotaru... How's the new book?"

"It's fantastic, beautiful! I read till the main character talks to the heroine and..." There she went, automatically starting to talk excitedly about the latest chapter whenever she was asked about the book... Only to stop, cross her arms and pout as she realized who had asked her. "Onii-saaaan... You just want to tease me again, don't you?"

"... Hotaru..." Neji suddenly hugged his sister tenderly to him, startling the younger, twelve years old the last month, girl with the gesture. "Please... Do never change."

"E-Eh?" When he let go, he started walking to the door, slowly, but not in the usual dignified way, it was more like...

"He walks like a death-row inmate."

"Ahhh!" Hotaru almost jumped out of her skin. She settled for getting very scared and turning around, huffing and stomping one foot to the ground cutely. "Hanabi-nee-sama! Stop doing that!"

"Hmm... He probably got initiated to the duties of the males born into the Hyuuga clan." Hanabi just ignored her cousin's outburst, chewing on a large cookie she held in her right hand after finishing the sentence.

"The duties... Huh?" Hotaru blinked, positively confused by Hanabi's words. The main house member rolled her eyes. She had caught her father doing it when she was eight, there were at least three people peeping four couples doing it at any time of the day and Hotaru had always managed to not catch even a glimpse of anything. She hadn't even been given the talk yet. When she would come of age, she would be a sight to behold, all hot and bothered and knowing nothing about it.

"Nevermind. It's a secret for people of our age."

"Then how do you know about it, nee-sama?" Hanabi just smiled impishly.

"I keep my eyes and ears open at night, that's all." Hanabi, unlike Hotaru, was a very early bloomer. Coming of age at twelve, discovering about sex and the fetishes of the Hyuuga much earlier, she had developed a mischievous personality as a result. She had never found many things fun, but then she had discovered the pleasure of messing with people's heads. She still candidly remembered as a couple days ago Neji made a dive to snatch something out of Hotaru's hands, the pure horror on his face as he realized that she had slipped a director's cut version of Icha Icha Paradise in Hotaru's romance books collection. "So, wanna go to the academy?"

"Uh? Why the academy?"

"Because today is the graduating day for most classes, and when they graduate they always meet with their jonin sensei."

"Ahh! A Jonin like Matsutake-sama?" While Hotaru's interest in the matter sparked by her idealized mushroom-named literature character, Hanabi knew that most of the higher ranking ninjas in Konoha were real pieces of work. There were a couple of them that she knew would be at the academy that day, but the one she was really interested in was...

-Breakline-

"Alright then," the masked man began once the three genin had reached the roof. "Why don't we start out by getting to know each other a little better?"

The three kids shared a look. "In what way?" Sakura asked cautiously.

Kakashi rubbed his chin, taking on a 'thinking-man's pose'.

"Well, we could have an orgy."

The jounin always enjoyed the reactions he got from that response. The last group of genin hopefuls whom he'd suggested it to had their clothes off before he even had the chance to tell them he was joking. The group before that had been downright repulsed, the girl going so far as to run away in horror. This time it was a satisfying mixture of both. The blonde looked eagerly at the girl next to him, but nearly gagged upon looking at the Uchiha. Likewise for the girl as her gaze drifted from Sasuke to Naruto. While they were doing that, Sasuke had slowly shifted himself as far away from both of his teammates as he could, and was sending a very strong death glare at Kakashi, which he casually ignored.

"Or...I suppose we could just tell a little bit about ourselves." he finally said, watching the tension vanish instantly. Sasuke took a few more seconds to calm down and approach his team again, while the other two were torn between relief and pouting at a missed occasion. "So, tell me your name, things you like, things you hate... And to keep things a tad unprofessional, your favorite sexual activity."

The tension built up a bit again, cue Sasuke's renewed glare and his teammates' embarassment. Sakura cleared her throat and raised her hand. "K-Kakashi-sensei, why don't you... Go first? As an example."

"Hmm? Well, my name is Hatake Kakashi. I like a lot of things, hate a few, and I have no intention of telling you anything that women could use against me." The last comment earned confusion from his newfound students, shadowing the fact that all they had learned was his name. Kakashi suddenly raised his arm and pointed at Sakura. "Your turn, guys. Pinky, you go first."

"Eh? Ah, y-yes." Sakura nodded frantically and regained a bit of her composure. "My name is Haruno Sakura. What I like is... Sasuke-kun, and the dreams I have about Sasuke-kun and me having..." It's not a mystery that growing in such an environment helped girls be a little bolder with their words and also with their declarations of affection, much to Sasuke's annoyance. A few times girls had literally thrown themselves at him naked. It made for good Kawarimi practice, though. "What I hate is Naruto."

"Sakura-chan, that's mean..." The blonde haired shinobi said, his head slumping between his legs and a small tear escaping from his right eye.

"My favourite sexual activity is..." Sakura was about to say masturbation, since that's all she had done in her life, but then a flash of a certain scene appeared in her mind. Something that became clearer and clearer, like a few seconds of a remastered movie. A movie that in this case involved her and a certain blonde. She blushed scarlet. "C-Cu-Cu-Cunnilingul... AHHHH! GO AWAY, GO AWAY!"

The males of Team 7 could only stare in confusion as Sakura tried to swat away the imaginary cloud of smoke containing her memory. After she calmed down, Kakashi passed the baton to 'sunshine'.

"Yes! My name is Uzumaki Naruto! I like ramen, but what I like even more is the ramen Ayame-neechan always makes me right after we... Ehm..." Naruto blushed, remembering his favourite aftersex activity, much to Kakashi's amusement. "And Sakura-chan! Of course, I also like Sakura-chan!" Sakura just groaned. "What I hate is the three minutes I have to wait for the ramen to be ready... My favorite sexual activity? Hmm..." Naruto put a hand to his chin, as his mind went back to the various 'activities' Ayame had introduced him to, and blushing, realized that he hadn't developed a favorite one, since it was most of the times Ayame taking the lead, and so the ones he did the most were probably her favorite ones... He just went with one of them. "Fellatio. On the receiving end, obviously."

"A classic. Well played with the ramen stand girl." Kakashi gave Naruto a thumbs up, much to the blonde embarassment. He then turned his head to the last remaining member of his cell. "So, all that's left is dark and broody."

"… My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are very few things that I care about, and there are many, many things that I hate." His eyes darkened considerably. "But...the one thing in this world that I hate more than anything else..."

Kakashi sighed internally. He felt a speech on vengeance and fratricide coming on.

"...is sex."

Kakashi nodded in acknowledgment, then paused as he played the last statement again in his head. "Wait, what?"

"Sex." he repeated firmly.

"What are you, nuts?" Naruto demanded. Sakura didn't speak, feeling too much like she'd just lost a key element to life to form anything comprehensible.

Sasuke ignored them all, but decided to elaborate anyway. "Sex is a despicable, degrading, vile act that should only be used for creating offspring, and sometimes not even then!" His face spasmed weakly as a haunted look appeared in his eyes. "But not in this village, oh no. Here, everyone has to be having sex all the time, where ever they want with whoever they want, doing things to each other that would graciously be called torture by any rational person! Oh sure, they may blame the pheromone for their actions, but how many of those people actually try to fight it? To stave off the disgusting urge to do 'this and that' with whoever happens to be standing next to them at the time? Those people sicken me! They don't have an ounce of willpower or pride, to just give into their sick and most base desires without even putting up a fight like that! I hate them almost as I hate sex itself!"

The others stared transfixed as Sasuke, who had stood up and started yelling halfway through his rant, sat back down in his previous hunched over position. "And I don't have a favorite sexual activity," he added.

Silence reigned for several seconds as everyone came to terms with what they'd just heard. Slowly, Sakura raised her hand.

"Um...could I please change one of my answers?"

-Breakline-

"Thanks, and come again." Ayame said with a smile as she handed out a take away to a couple of civilian workers. The morning business was a bit slower, consisting mainly of preparing the ingredients for the rest of the day, but there were a few who came to buy a take away meal to eat later on the work place. Most were carpenters.

"Ayame, can you give me a hand here?"

"Coming right a..."

"Why, good morning, Ayame." Teuchi groaned when he heard that familiar voice, already resigning himself to having to move that crate of spices himself. He had forgotten that it was Wednesday. And like every Wednesday morning, that damn toothpick jounin came to the stand.

"Ah, G-Genma-san..." Teuchi hated hearing his little girl stutter in front of any male. His little girl didn't stutter, she was intelligent, headstrong and dominant in... He shuddered and made the images disappear from his head. Still, he hated it.

"I must say, watching you at work is one of the best sight ever, Ayame... But you know in what situation you look even more beautiful?" Teuchi gripped tightly the crate and with a newfound source of strength lifted it over his head, his mind barely restraining his instinct from throwing the crate at the ninja.

"Ah, well, I think I know, Genma-san..." Only to slump and let it fall to the ground when he heard Ayame reply with that playful tone. He sighed, his hands already going for the plugs he had in his apron's front pocket. "Only... I will have to decline." His hands almost ripped off his culinary garment for the surprise, and he was sure that the 'plick' he had heard was Genma's toothpick falling to the ground.

"You will have... To decline?" Genma repeated, incredulously. Teuchi made his way to the front to find a pretty much shocked Jonin and a slightly embarrassed Ayame, giving the man in front of her a sheepish grin.

"Sorry, Genma-san... But someone already took care of my urges, today." Genma's surprise diminished, and he just 'tsk'-ed, regaining his cool demeanor.

"Hmm... Someone beat me to it, today... Quite the early riser, this bird." Genma shook his head, chuckling all the way as he walked to the stand's exit. "Well, I guess I'll see you next Wednesday."

"Probably, Genma-san. Good day." Ayame chuckled a little bit as she observed the ninja go, noticing from how his body was trembling that he was thoroughly pissed that someone had beat him to the punch and that he wouldn't get his weekly dose of Ayame. She smiled smugly and turned around, shaking her head to no one in particular. "What can I say? I am addictive..."

"Explain." Only for her father to suddenly be in her face, much to her surprise.

"E-Explain, daddy?"

"No one already took care of your urges, today. No one. The last person you slept with was Naruto yesterday, and I know for a fact that it isn't enough for you. The morning after you're already back on that track, especially on Wednesday, and I know for a fact that you didn't do anything in the shower."

"D-Dad, you're scaring me..." Ayame backed away a little, finding the sight of his father with bloodshot eyes, a ladle in his left hand, towering over her even if he was shorter, talking nonchalantly of things that would usually make him have an heart failure a bit too strange for her tastes.

"Explain." He repeated, and Ayame huffed and turned around.

"I-I don't know, alright? I just... Don't feel like having sex, today." If the stand had been more populated, everyone would have incredibly caught that sentence and turned in Ayame's direction, staring at her like she had sprouted fox ears. It was empty, so it was just her father. The auburn haired girl blushed at the sudden attention. "S-Stop staring at me like that! I don't know why, I just... Don't feel like it!"

"... You don't feel like it." Teuchi repeated, savoring the words like they were the sweetest nectar in the world, the ambrosia of gods, the rediscovered pride and joy of an old carpenter as he lays eyes on the first ship he has ever built, the...

"Well, I guess Naruto is just thaaaaaaat good. Why, the things he does with..."

"LALALALALALALALALA!" Only for that joy to be crushed as his little girl started making him imagine things that he had tried to suppress every night the plugs weren't enough. He stuck two fingers in his ears and ran to the back of the shop, leaving a smirking Ayame alone in the front.

"Serves him right." Only for said girl to sigh and suddenly slump on one of the chairs, her head turned up to the sky, or at least where the sky would be if the ceiling of the ramen shop wasn't in the way. "... But, really, what's up with me? Dad is right, it's... Unusual. On wednesday, I'm usually ready to go all day." Then, she smiled and giggled sweetly. "I guess you really are that good, Naruto-kun..."

Unknown to her, though, someone had heard everything. Someone that had decided just for the hell of it to take ramen as a take away lunch, that morning, having forgot to notify his servants that he was going to be out all day. That person had stopped upon hearing Ayame's words, and had eavesdropped on everything. That person's eyes were wide as saucers. That person had a dream, and now, he had also a suspicion.

-Breakline-

"Jeez, what was up with that sensei?" Naruto thought out loud. After denying Sakura's request of changing one of her answers, Kakashi had proceeded to tell them that all the effort they had put in graduating was for naught, since they could still be sent back to the academy if they failed a 'survival training' of sorts. "I mean, scaring us like that, and telling us not to have breakfast... What do you think was up with that, Sakura-chan?"

"... n't know..." Naruto groaned, observing the crestfallen and broken figure of his crush and now teammate. Sasuke's declaration had shocked him, but on the pink haired girl had had the effect of an epileptic elephant in a crystal shop.

Sakura's mind, after the moment of clarity and the question about changing one of her answers, had went into a broken circle of reviewing again and again and again her ruined plans. She had been overjoyed upon hearing that she was on a team with Sasuke, since that would mean that they would take missions together, and what better way than bonding than allowing her crush to satisfy his urges with her on a warm night in a foreign country while away on a long-term mission? That dream had been crushed thoroughly along with many other fantasies.

Also, on that moment, she realized something else. If Sasuke was that opposed to sex, to the very idea of having any kind of intercourse, that would mean that when her own urges would act up on a long-term mission, to satisfy them she would have to... To... She stopped and slowly turned to Naruto. She sniffed. "S-Sakura-chan, what's wrong? Something on my face?"

"It's... Too much..." She fell to her knees and then broke down in tears. "IT'S TOO MUUUUUCH! FIRST I SLEEP WITH INO, THEN SASUKE SAYS HE HATES SEX, AND NOW I WILL HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH NARUTO! IT'S TOO MUUUUUUUUUCH! I WANT TO DIE!"

"S-Sakura-chan!" Naruto was torn between feeling a bit insulted by how the thought only of having sex with him had caused Sakura to go off the deep end and trying to comfort her. He went with both. "Sakura-chan, I can understand why you're shocked with Sasuke's... Well, peculiar conviction, but why the hell do you hate the idea of having sex with me that much?"

"E-Eh?" Sakura stopped crying just because she got surprised by Naruto's sudden question. The blonde boy had never been that bold in his life, but he figured that since most of the village acted that way, he could get away with it once or twice too.

"What I said! I can understand why you don't like me! I'm loud, a joker, I wear orange! Your type is the brooding type, Sasuke! I'm the total opposite, I can understand that..." Naruto was feeling his self esteem going lower by the second as he spoke. "But what the hell does any of that have to do with sex?"

"Ah... Ehm..." Sakura was pretty much shocked into silence, because Naruto had, for once, a point. They weren't talking about fairy romance sex, they were talking about pure physical release. If the point was just getting off, Naruto was suitable. He had pretty high marks in taijutsu mainly because of his endurance, and had the body to prove it. Also, now that she thought about it, he was the only one with any actual experience among the three of them. Sasuke was a virgin, no mystery on that. Sakura regained a bit of focus and started rubbing her chin in thought. "Hmm... Maybe?"

"... Eh?" Very intelligent reply, Naruto.

"Of course... Sasuke-kun is so averse to sex... He's a virgin for sure, but more than that, if I want him to see the light, I have to be experienced myself! I have to find a way to make even Sasuke-kun like sex!" Sakura realized a new resolve and trusted her right elbow downward and then turned to Naruto again. "Naruto! From now on, we're sex study partners!"

"We're WHAT? OW!" Sakura punched Naruto's head to admonish him for his loud voice, thing that the blonde understood without the need for words, for once.

"Tomorrow we have the test, so we should rest... Once we become real genin, we can start researching a bit." Sakura nodded to herself, while Naruto slowly came to terms with what had just been decided.

"Hey! Don't I have a say in this?" Sakura narrowed his eyes.

"It's not like I can ask anyone else, Naruto... Also, what are you complaining about?" Suddenly, Sakura's expression softened and she put a finger to her right cheek, leaning her head to the side, making Naruto blush. "You don't find me attractive anymore?"

"O-Of course I do! I love Sakura-chan! Only..."

"Good! Then, be sure to pass that test too, tomorrow! I don't want to be forced to ask Kakashi-sensei, or worse, Kiba!" As Sakura sprinted away, leaving a confused Naruto behind, the wind blew and detritus and dust flew past him, as he stared at Sakura's departing figure till it disappeared in the horizon.

"... I should be happy... So, why do I feel like a tool?" This Naruto, he's growing up... Then, he remembered something. "WAIT A MINUTE! SHE SLEPT WITH INO?"

-Breakline-

"Hanabi-chan, why is that boy so upset? We sleep together all the time..."

"I... Don't really know, Hotaru." Hanabi sighed, her cousin's naivety ticking her off, along with the fact that they had missed Kakashi Hatake's appearance. One of the biggest misteries about the man was his face. It seemed that everyone who saw it also forgot about it the next day. So focused was she on a missed occasion that she realized only then just who the boy who was lamenting was. "... That boy..."

"Do you know him, Hanabi-chan?"

"... You could say that." Hanabi shuddered remembering that particular occasion, the day she found her sister's secret... Stash. How could one build a secret lair under her own bed, she didn't know. The posters and pictures littered around the room were all of one boy. "Let's just say that... My sisters fancies him."

"Ehhh? Hinata-nee-sama?" Hotaru's eyes widened and suddenly got glued to the figure of Naruto, who was currently grasping his head, trying to process out of his mind the thoughts of Ino and Sakura going down on each other. Here, something needs to be clarified. Hotaru thinks of Hinata as being some sort of princess, because she only sees her shy, gentle and courteous side, unlike Hanabi who's more acquainted with the other side of her sister, the nutty one. "To catch the eye of Hinata-nee-sama... He must be a noble man indeed..."

"Oh, for the love of..." Hanabi had half an idea of moving Hotaru's futon in her parents' room at night with her still inside, but thinking more about it, she realized something. While a crush could be easily explained, there was the fact that Hinata was basically obsessed with the blonde they were observing from the branches of a tree. "... I wonder..."

Hanabi activated her byakugan, remembering that her sister seemed to have it active all the time at school, seeing a connection. She focused on the clothes, getting past them, and observing the boy's body. "Hmm..." It was a good muscular completion, but it was nothing she hadn't seen before. After all, to have an athletic body was a prerequisite for being a ninja. She gave half a thought of dwelling deeper, under his underwear, but she decided against it. She still hadn't gotten the massive urges of everyone else because of coming at a young age and so self-pleasuring still worked for her, but you never know what's under the hood. She deactivated her byakugan and got back on her feet. "Well, there's nothing more for us here. Let's go."

"Hmmm..." Hanabi departed immediately, while Hotaru let her gaze linger on Naruto's shape a bit more. "The girl called him... Naruto..." She observed him a few seconds more and then departed just before Naruto turned in her direction, feeling a gaze on him, a nice distraction from the mental images in his head. Not that they were unpleasant. If he had to say so himself, the way he imagined the cunnilingus taking place was very creative. Just, there was a time and place for everything.

-Breakline-

"Well, good morning, my little deviants." Kakashi said as he arrived at the training field he had chosen for their little survival test. He had arrived three hours late as usual, but received not a single one of the usual reactions. Instead, it went like so: Sakura was focused on reading a book, a very familiar book that happened to be one of his favorites in the series; Naruto was seemingly focused on something that happened to rest between his feet, his lips moving but not a sound coming out of it; the only who seemed uncomfortable was Sasuke, who was seating in a zen meditation pose, a vein visibly twitching on his forehead. [I]Now, that's a way of dealing with a morning wood... If that's what's disturbing him.[/I] "Ah-Rumph." He cleared his throat, so earning the attention of the trio. Sakura immediately hid the book in her weapon pouch.

"Ah. Good morning, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto was the most educated one, surprisingly. Kakashi couldn't help but feel he had lost something really important that happened after he departed the previous day.

"Yeah, morning..." Also, he heard no grumbling stomachs. For a reason or another, they all had eaten their breakfast. Well, for Naruto it went like this...

-Breakline-

"But Ayame-neechan, sensei said..."

"I don't care what your teacher said. You're not getting out of here without first eating something." And then she gave him the evil eye. Naruto sighed in defeat. There was no fighting her when she gave him that look and put her hands on her hips. Naked too? No chance at all.

-Breakline-

For Sasuke, it went like this...

-Breakline-

"My sensei said..."

"Kohana."

"Haaaaaaaai!"

"MPGH!"

-Breakline-

Sakura, instead...

-Breakline-

"Sakura, will you please put that book down and eat some breakfast?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Her body moved on its own as her mind was still glued on the pages opened in front of her.

-Breakline-

"Well, I guess we can start the test." Also, there was something else Kakashi had noticed. Sasuke had been glaring at the back of Naruto's head for a while, now. He inwardly sighed, hoping that whatever it was, it was something trivial. He really, really needed to pass this team, but he had his principles. His right hand dove for its correspondent pocket and got out two silver bells. "Your goal will be to get one of these from me. Whoever gets one becomes a ninja."

"Heh? But there are only two of them..." Sakura noted, and Kakashi nodded.

"Correct. One of you will go back to the academy for sure." That made everyone but Sasuke tense, Kakashi noticed, and the Jounin was seriously starting to worry. According to what he knew of the Uchiha, he should have been ballistic... Well, covertly so. "You have time till that bell rings. Also..." They had all ate breakfast, so he guessed that the 'eating lunch in front of yourself' thing wouldn't have much effect. "Oh, well. Test start."

Kakashi observed as Sakura hid among the foliage... And only Sakura. Sasuke was still glaring at the back of Naruto's head, and the blond seemed to have finally noticed the fact. "Uh? Sasuke, what is it?" Sasuke still glared, and Naruto started to glare back, a frown on his face. "What is it? Wanna fight?"

"... Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto's anger got broke because of the sudden raise in Sasuke's tone of voice. Sasuke never raised his voice that much. Never. Then he observed as the Uchiha got a kunai out of his weapon pouch and held it dagger like in his left hand. "You're gonna die by my hands!"

"... Eh?" Kakashi facepalmed. So much for teamwork...