I know I've been absent, but I've been without any sort of connection for days. Vacation in the woods WOOP WOOP! Enjoy this next installment of The Hunger Trials.
I sat in the dark room with my hands clasped together desperately. When Justin walked in I turned away to look through the one-way mirror to the room where my father was already sitting there. His hands were chained to a loop on the top of the table. The grey jumpsuit he was wearing made the purple bags under his eyes look deeper and more sickening. We had waited weeks to take me to see him, and the prison had taken its toll on him.
He looked to the mirror and my heart sank. He must've known I was there. He looked directly into my eyes. How would he know though? He hadn't even been told it was me that was coming. My father was intuitive though. Maybe he had guessed…
"Are you ready Max?" Justin wondered. He had been allowed to wear something a little more casual. He still had this dangerous air to him though. It was almost as if the training from the Peacekeeper Academy had stuck to his physique as much as his attitude. He was all muscle and the hardness in his jaw was permanent with the tension of anger and fearlessness.
"Sure…" There was no conviction in my voice and immediately Justin attacked it.
"What's wrong?" He moved nearer to me leaning on the mirror right next to me so that his leg was almost touching mine.
"Nothing."
"Mmmmm…" he hummed and then reached behind him within his jacket. He pulled a gun from his waistline and showed it to me. "Anything happens. If he makes one wrong move, I'll make sure he's dead. He won't touch you." I watched as he slid it back into place behind his back.
"I don't even care. Let's get this over w[ith." With my hard attitude, he took it as anger. Justin followed me into the room like a regular body guard. The time in that small room had been the first time we had spoken to each other in weeks because I had no idea what to do with myself. We treated this professional, and that was all I was prepared for. Dealing with family was the hard part.
I sat down in front of my father and watched as the corners of his mouth lifted. "Baby, I knew you would come to see me."
"Don't call me that," I looked to my hands that were curled up together on the table in front of me. When my eyes moved to his hands, I noticed they were the same way. Immediately, I shifted my hands I laid them in my lap.
"You did come to see me though. Which means you care about me." The triumph in his voice, as if he'd just one a great battle, made me feel sick.
"You are my father…"
"As long as you know your priorities." Was the only thing he said and I looked up at him finally piercing him with his own brown eyes. His seemed murky with sickness, and I hoped mine were bright and angry.
"My priority is to survive; isn't it?" The sudden furiousness threw him off and he took a moment only glancing at Justin out of the corner of his eye before focusing back in on me.
"What are you—,"
"The fact that you're my father has nothing to do with my priorities." He opened and closed his mouth looking for words that never came. "You taught me to survive, but you didn't teach me love or any sort of care. So why would I give a damn if you're my father? That's nowhere in my priorities."
"I taught you to win. You're a winner because of me!" His fists slammed against the table and Justin stepped forward out of his corner with his hand twitching reflexively. I turned toward Justin and grabbed behind his back for his gun before steadily pointing it at my father. "What are you doing?"
"Everyone's the enemy, right?" The throw back of his training words made him sputter for reasoning. I cocked the gun and steadily aimed it at him. "Right?" Most people, they would've had shaking arms. If they pointed a weapon at a parent they would feel a little bit of remorse. They would second guess, but I didn't. In that moment, I couldn't have cared less about this man that claimed he was my father simply because I had his blood. He was nowhere near being my father.
Justin was suddenly there standing between me and my father. He didn't block my shot. He simply placed a hand on my arm and looked me in the eyes. "Put the gun down Max," he said calmly. He didn't show any fear that I would turn on him. Would I? No. I wouldn't turn on anyone else. This man, my father, deserved to die.
"She'll put it down. She wouldn't shoot me—,"
"Like hell I won't!" I shoved Justin's arm away and steadied the gun with two hands. If I fired at that moment he would be dead in seconds. There would be a hole between his eyebrows and he would slump over. I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. I wouldn't have to worry about training ever again. He was the reason I kept going after all. Wasn't he? I had to impress him. I had to feel affection from him. I had to make him proud.
"Max, don't shoot him." Justin was there again with a hand on top of the gun pushing it down slightly.
"He deserves to die." I looked at Justin without moving the gun. Tears were starting to brim in my eyes. Justin nodded and agreed instantly. "He let Ryan die, and Amelia and Miles. Even Ray." I muttered and Justin just watched me for a few silent moments.
"You killed Ray." I turned to my father at his words.
"You let me kill Ray!" I knocked off Justin's hand and stepped forward making sure I wouldn't miss when I shot him. He would die.
"Let him rot Max." Justin suddenly said, but I couldn't take my eyes off my father this time. Justin wasn't going to distract me.
"He doesn't deserve to live." I muttered feeling the coolness of the trigger against my finger.
"He'll be locked away in a cell somewhere." Justin didn't move from his spot. He knew I was in a dangerous place now. I'm sure that if he had made the wrong move he would have had a hole in him. It wouldn't have been fatal, but it wouldn't be very comfortable. I didn't want him to take the shot any way. When I fired that gun it was intended for one person. "He doesn't deserve a quick death. You shoot him, and it'll save him from a lifetime of punishment."
I let the wheels start to click in my head. Justin had a point and suddenly my plan changed. "Fine." There was a split second and then a loud noise that blew through the room with a suddenness that made all of us jump. I threw down the gun and stepped back as Justin grabbed my arm and yanked me backwards.
"I raised you, you little bitch!" My father screamed as he clutched bent over in pain from the shot through his shoulder. He would just bleed. It wasn't a death sentence as long as someone patched it up. Justin hit a button on the wall and a siren began to blare. I was led out of the room by Justin as soon as he collected his gun and he pushed me into the small observation room we had been in earlier.
I thought he was going to yell at me. He probably thought the same thing too. That was until I started crying. My eyes burned with the tears and I had to choke back each sob hoping to just get a breath of fresh air. Justin simply leaned against a wall as I sunk down to the floor. I pulled my knees in close to myself I leaned my head against my knees to find some shred of dignity that would help me to stop the tears.
"I'm sorry." I sobbed looked out the window to the room where a bunch of Peacekeepers were rushing to try and get my father to a hospital so that he wouldn't bleed to death. "Don't lock me up. I'm sorry." I blubbered trying to find any reason to me speaking at all. "I can't go to prison. I can't be locked up with him."
"We'll see what Gale wants to do. You'll be locked in here for now though." He slipped from the room and there was this finality when I heard the lock slide shut. I had just shot a man. I shot someone outside of the Hunger Trials. I had shot my father…
For twenty minutes I sat on the floor trying to stop the tears. After those twenty minutes passed, I was still trying to find coping mechanism. I wouldn't move from my spot though. I had killed so many people before. One shot to my father and I was a mess. There was only one other death that I had caused that left me grasping for the sanity I had long since lost.
Ray and I had been climbing in the standings for the Trials. We were both making good money. Of course he was my older brother, but we were like best friends. We trained a lot together, and we challenged each other. He was the best. He was always protective when I was little. He started to take over Ryan's spot in the family when he figured out I had seen Ryan die. Immediately, he started treating me like the little sister I was.
Father had brought Ray and I out to a few rounds of fights that were just for cash. We'd fight some people and winners would go away with cash. Boys were in their own column. Girls were in their own column which meant we were safe to play and both with. It was a good chance to make life at home easier.
We were so accustomed to winning that we didn't see dying as an option, in all honesty. We were doing great. Both of us were winning and eventually we won our bracket. People, we clearly found out, were not as stupid as Father thought they were. They found out that Ray and I were siblings and that all the winnings for the whole night were going to go to one family. In the Trials, that's frowned upon because my father obviously knew he would wipe both brackets out and brought two fighters instead of one.
I remember what happened when they found out perfectly:
We were on our way to collect our winning. Ray was telling me about a couple of his buddies who were going to go down to the Pit where they could relax and share a bottle of spirits. I had asked if I could go, but I was still too young, even though we were only three or so years apart. When we got to the man that would give us our money he told us we couldn't have it. Father got in this huge argument talking about how it was unfair. Ray and I had taken a step back and were crouched down to pick up a young puppy that was searching the ground for some scraps. Ray picked the pup up and handed it to me smiling at me.
"Mother won't mind. Not with all the cash we're taking home tonight." He told me and then moved toward Father who turned away from the man with a hard face. Ray grabbed Father's shoulder and was asking him questions, and then they got into a spat where they talked to each other in hushed tones. "Father, you can't let them do that. We won fair and square."
"They're not giving us our money until this fight happens." He hissed and brushed away Ray's hand before walking towards me and ripping the dog from my arms before shoving it off toward the parking lot and the woods. "Get ready Max. You've got one more fight."
"Against who Father?" I asked as he dragged me back toward the ring. He didn't answer my question as I was shoved into the ring. He immediately disappeared into the crowd. "Who am I fighting?" I asked Ray as he passed me outside the ring. He ignored me and kept walking to the other side of the ring before stepping in. "No, Ray—,"
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'VE GOT ONE MORE FIGHT FOR YOU TONIGHT. MAXINE BEAUREGARD VERSUS RAYMOND BEAUREGARD." The crowd booed with our same last name. They chucked stuff at the caging as it closed and I was left facing my brother. "FIGHT!"
Ray stepped forward as did I and he grabbed my arm. "Kill me." I shook my head trying to lift up my arms to fight without finding the strength. "They'll let you out and you'll go home with Father. Just kill me."
"I won't do it." I muttered, but he seemed to be adamant. He was the one that was going to die and I was the one that was going to move on in the Trials. We took a step back from each other and lifted our weapons. He didn't even try to fight back…
I looked up from the floor and tried to calm the shaking in my core. But it wouldn't stop. Gale was sliding into the room rolling his eyes as a voice from the hall shouted: "She'll have a trial Hawthorne just like everyone else!" When he closed the door there were no more people around. Even the interrogation room was empty of my bleeding father.
"You feel better now?" Gale asked as he fiddled with the plastic tip of the blinds' pull string. I nodded honestly feeling like anything I had with my father was now settled. "I sure as hell hope so, for all the paperwork I'm going to have to go through I hope it did something for you." That made a breathless laugh erupt from me unexpectedly and Gale smiled. "Okay, well we have to get you back to the compound. You've been released to my custody for now."
I stumbled to my feet before working my way toward the door. "Gale,"
"Yes Max?"
"Can we go by my old house?" I wondered as he opened the door. He closed the door and leaned against it giving me a funny look. We were still inside the little room and hadn't quite revealed ourselves to the madness outside.
"Why?" He demanded as if it were the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.
"I want to see my sister, and I want my dog."
Gale peeked out the door and looked down the hall each way. "If we can sneak. If anyone asks we're going straight back to District 2 so that I can put you on house arrest. Plus, you're briefing Justin on the way." It sounded like the most dangerous mission he'd ever been on, but I didn't care. At least he was willing.
"Thank you Gale."
Well, well, now you're going to get to meet some of her family members. See you soon, hopefully.
Sincerely,
wisegirlindisguise