Chapter 6

Buffy was officially worried, she and Angel had scoured the town and they hadn't even caught a glimpse of Willow or Spike. Willy swore blind he hadn't see Spike since the previous evening and that he had never seen Willow at all.

Angel believed that they were together and Buffy so no reason to doubt him. But she had no idea why Willow would sneak off with Spike, it stood to reason that he must have kidnapped her again, although Buffy couldn't see why Spike would do that, she didn't see what he hoped to gain by it after all, he knew that they hadn't yet discovered the way to reverse the spell.

The Bronze was packed; Angel took the stairs to the second floor while Buffy elbowed her way through the crowd towards the dance floor. She scanned the area around her hopping up onto her tip toes craning her neck as she searched for her best friend. Willow she didn't find, but her temper flared when she caught sight of Faith surrounded by a group of boys quite clearly lost to the music.

Pushing her way onto the dance floor Buffy grabbed hold of Faith's arm and yanked her away from the boys. "We have a crisis on our hands and you're dancing!"

Faith scowled. "Maybe I wouldn't be dancin' if you bothered to tell me that we had a crisis on our hands. What's the sitch?"

"Willow's missing, she's…"

"With Spike," Faith finished. "She's alright."

Buffy blinked thrown for a moment. "You've seen her?"

Faith nodded. "She only left a few minutes ago; she's been here all night."

Buffy blanched, it stung, knowing that Willow had been here with Faith and Spike all night without her. She was aware that it was the wrong aspect to be focusing on but she couldn't help feeling hurt over it.

"Willow's been here all night, with you?"

"Yeah, that's what I just said. She told me about the soul thing, pretty big stuff, huh?"

And the stinging pain just kept on coming. It shouldn't make a difference that Willow had told Faith but it sort of did. Willow hadn't really spoken about it, all she would say was that she hadn't meant for it to happen and that she was fine. For a girl who babbled most of the time it was disconcerting to see her so quiet. Had Willow confided in Faith? If Willow was talking about it that should be a good thing and Buffy hated that she couldn't get totally on board with that. Willow was her best friend, if she was going to talk to someone it should be her, or Oz or Xander or even Cordelia; but not Faith and Buffy couldn't exactly say why.

"Yeah it is," Buffy agreed. "Where did she go?"

Faith shrugged. "I dunno, she just said she was leaving."

"And you didn't stop her or ask where she was going? You just let her leave with Spike?" Buffy was incredulous.

"Not down to me to tell Willow what she can and can't do. If she wants to go with Spike that's her choice."

"You're a Slayer, Faith," Buffy said impatiently. "Spike's a vampire, and not just any vampire either, he's as evil as they get and you should have stopped her going with him."

"Like you did, you mean?" Faith asked with a lift of her eyebrow.

Buffy flushed, she had no response and that was pretty annoying. Luckily Angel chose that moment to reappear. "They aren't upstairs."

"Faith said that they left a few minutes ago."

Angel's shoulders relaxed. Now that he knew that Spike hadn't done anything untoward he felt better. Spike was known to have a short fuse and to lash out and Angel wouldn't have put it past him to lash out at Willow killing her in the process in the hopes that her death would result in ending the spell she had cast. He was pleased to discover that Spike was using some common sense for a change.

"Did Spike say where he was going?" Angel asked. He had the sneaking suspicion that Spike was the master mind behind tonight's escapades.

"No. You want some help looking for them?"

"We'll split up," Angel said turning to head out the door. "You two take the cemetery and I'll sweep the streets."

Buffy bit her lip worriedly. "He won't have taken her to the cemetery would he?"

"Probably a hot first date for a vampire," Faith said falling in behind Angel.

"It's not a date!" Buffy exclaimed crossly. "He's kidnapped her again."

"She seemed to be here of her own free will to me."

Rubbing at her forehead as she left The Bronze Buffy wondered what could have been going through Willow's mind to disappear with Spike this way.

They searched the streets around The Bronze together before splitting up. Angel went one way and Faith and Buffy the other.

There was some action in the cemetery but no sign of Spike or Willow. Buffy and Faith worked together almost seamlessly fighting the nest of vampires they came across, but they didn't speak.

"She'll be fine," Faith said after dusting the last vampire.

"She'd be better if she wasn't with Spike," Buffy muttered.

"Spike's not gonna let anything happen to her, B. Don't you think she deserves a chance to blow off some steam after what's happened? You know Willow better than I do but she always seemed so in her head, you know, the type who thinks about everything. It'll do her good to try and forget about everything for one night."

"Maybe," Buffy conceded. "But it's not like Willow to just up and leave without saying anything, especially with someone like Spike!"

"She's goin' through some stuff, come on, B we've all been there."

Buffy stopped walking and groaned, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm the worst friend ever."

Willow had a lot on her mind, she had a lot to deal with and try to absorb with this whole soul splitting thing, and all Willow had done was sneak away from research one night. When she'd had a lot to deal with and absorb after killing Angel she had ran away from Sunnydale altogether. She hadn't confided in Willow or Xander or Giles, she had run. Buffy felt that she could hardly blame Willow for wanting some space.

Faith didn't respond to the comment. She had nothing to say, she had never had a close group of friends the way Buffy did. She'd had friends of course, but Faith could honestly say that her friends wouldn't have stuck around the way Willow, Cordelia and Xander did for Buffy. It took a special kind of person to join a fight that wasn't their own, Buffy had fallen in lucky with her friends.

"Let's swing by Willow's, maybe he took her home."

"Fine by me."

Buffy was a little chattier on the way to Willow's house. She told Faith about their research and how they hadn't found anything yet. "But it's only the first night of research, we don't always find the answers straight off."

"But you always do."

"Yeah, and we will this time. Giles is going to ring around his contacts in the morning and see if anyone can help out. "

"Sounds like you've got all bases covered."

"Yep," Buffy forced a smile to her face. "It's Willow, you know, we'll do everything we can to put this right for her."

Willow's street was quiet, Faith hadn't been there before and she took in the perfectly manicured lawns, the picket fences, the fancy cars in the driveways of equally fancy houses, even the street lights were all in working order. She'd bet her life that the pets in this street had it better than she did growing up.

"Nice digs," she said when Buffy paused outside a large house with whitewashed walls and flowers boarders in the garden.

Buffy frowned up at the house, it was in total darkness. "Willow's room is round the back, we'd better check it out. If her light isn't on we'll knock."

She was relieved to see light spilling from Willow's bedroom window, Buffy liked to know her friends were home safely tucked up in their beds. "I'll just…."

"Let her alone," Faith put a hand on Buffy's arm. "Look B, if she had wanted to talk to you about things she wouldn't have left the school tonight. Maybe she just wants some time to think things out for herself."

Buffy let out a loud sigh and nodded. "Maybe your right, I'll see her in the morning instead." She turned away from the house but didn't leave until she threw one last backwards look at the window, she smiled when the light went out, it settled her mind knowing that Willow really was safe and sound tucked up in bed.

XxX

Willow woke the following morning with a low groan, her head felt stuffed up, her mouth was as dry as the bottom of a bird cage and she felt sick. At least the room had stopped spinning; Willow remembered the room spinning a lot when she got in, although she didn't quite remember the walk home.

Sitting up and pressing a hand to her queasy stomach Willow eased herself out of bed and made her slow way to the bathroom. Running the cold water tap she tilted her head and drunk greedily. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand Willow leant on the sink for a while the white porcelain cool and smooth beneath her hands.

She remembered being at The Bronze and dancing with Faith. She remembered leaving with Spike and she remembered flopping on her bed when she got home, that was about it. Clearly she hadn't changed as she was still wearing the clothes from the previous day. Willow made a face, she had never been drunk before and never slept in her clothes before. She needed a hot shower to try and drag herself into the land of the living.

Nothing else came to her as she went through her morning routine still only half aware of what she was doing, not until she climbed into the shower and started to soap her legs. Then it came rushing back to her, something that was half memory and half a dream but felt so very real, more real than any other experience including the near death ones; Spike's hands on her legs, Spike's fingers trailing down her hot skin, Spike's voice, deep and husky his eyes piercing blue as he looked at her and spoke to her; words that were designed to flatter and scorch and arouse and had hit their mark with no problem at all.

A tremor ran through her body and Willow found she was almost hyperventilating. The most erotic moment of her life and been with a vampire. An evil vampire. A vampire who was the Slayer of Slayers. A vampire whose evil deeds were legendary the world over and was known as part of the Scourge of Europe he was so notorious.

It was bad, somewhere inside her Willow knew it was bad, but still she clung on to that thrilling feeling of Spike.

Once she had finished in the bathroom she went and glared at the contents of her wardrobe before pulling on a denim skirt and taking a plain white blouse from her mother's room. She spent some time rooting through the clothes her mother had left behind but Shelia Rosenberg was bigger in the chest that her teenage daughter and therefore her tops pretty much just hung on Willow's slender frame. The blouse was the best thing she could find and even then it was a more than a little bit loose, but Willow preferred it to the alternative offerings in her wardrobe.

She was about to go and have breakfast when she noticed the time. With a loud squeak Willow scurried around her room packing up her bag and raced from the house. She was never late for school not ever, today she was going to ruin that perfect record and she squirmed. She didn't want to do that but thanks to Spike keeping her out drinking until all hours it couldn't be avoided.

Late didn't really begin to cover it, she arrived at school during break after her first two classes were over. The only time she had ever arrived at school this time was if she had an appointment like the doctor or the dentist. Willow liked the stability of a routine, she liked knowing where she was meant to be and when which is why she and the school time table got along really well, unlike Xander and the school time table who were old enemies. He really resented the early starts to his day, especially when math was involved as a first lesson.

Willow entered the school through the main doors and headed straight to the library, she figured the others would be there worrying about her and discussing her absence. Willow Rosenberg absent from school with no good reason was a topic for discussion and Willow frowned slightly at the thought.

They were, as Willow had thought, all in the library when she pushed through the doors. "Hey," she greeted them with a smile.

"Willow!" Buffy hurried across the room and threw her arms around her friends neck. "I've been…. I mean, we've all been really worried about you. Where have you been?"

Oz reached out and tangled his fingers with hers. "Are you alright? I tried getting you on the phone this morning and last night but you didn't answer. You had me worried."

Willow could honestly say that she'd had no idea the phone had been ringing that morning, she must have been really zoned out. "I didn't get in until late and I slept late. I didn't mean to make you worry. I just…" she gestured impatiently with her free hand unsure of right words to say to make them understand.

"I know," Oz raised their joined hands to his lips placing a kiss on the back of her hand. "It must be hard on you. Maybe we weren't supportive or understanding enough last night."

Willow smiled a little worm of guilt wiggling in her chest. "Maybe I didn't give you the opportunity to be supportive, you know, leaving like that. I should have told you what I was doing but I didn't think. I really didn't mean to worry you all."

"It's okay, really it is," Buffy promised. "Oz is right, we probably weren't understanding enough. This isn't an end of the world situation, this is a Willow situation, we should have shown you more support. We will from now on. I'm sorry," she slid an arm through Willow's. "You were there for me when I needed you, you know, when things got... got personal and I let you down."

"No," Willow shook her head quickly. "You didn't, Buff, I don't know what I was thinking, I probably wasn't to go disappearing like that."

"Personal?" Cordelia piped up from where she was leaning against the counter. "That's what you call it when you turn your boyfriend all psychotic and he tries to kill us all?"

"Cordelia," Xander groaned.

"Okay," Buffy stepped back and held out her hands, her face pink as she tried to ignore Cordelia. Cordelia Chase could always be relied upon to speak the truth and it grated on Buffy. "New rule. We talk about it, okay Wills? No matter what you're thinking or feeling you talk to us about it. We'll listen with no judgement, I promise."

"She's right," Oz said. "This is a whole new situation for us to deal with. It's never been this personal before and we're all a little scared, you probably most of all and that's perfectly understandable. It's alright to be frightened, Willow, just you know, talk to us."

"Willow, are you sure that you're feeling alright?" Giles asked

"I'm fine," she turned to look at Giles and noticed for the first time that Faith was there too.

"No side effects?" Giles persisted. He couldn't get his conversation with Angel out of his head, Spike, Spike tearing up over kittens! It was pretty clear to both Giles and Angel that Spike's behaviour had been caused by Willow's soul setting up home inside him, and Giles couldn't understand why Willow didn't appear to be experiencing any changes at all.

Willow shook her head. "Nope, I'm just the same. Just me. All Willow."

Xander grinned. "That's my Willster."

"I thought I'd talk to Amy today, see if she had any ideas," Willow suggested and Giles nodded his agreement.

"Good idea," Xander said. "Another witch in the mix can't be bad, right?"

"I certainly think that all avenues should be explored in this case. Amy's mother as we know was a pretty powerful witch. She would have to be to perform a body swap the way she did. There just might be something in her collection of spells and paraphernalia that might help, or at the very least point us in the right direction," Giles said.

"Body swapping can't be all that different from soul splitting, can it?" Xander asked. "I mean they're kinda the same, putting something into someone else's body."

"In principle maybe," Giles said. "But souls are tricky things, it's best not to get ahead of ourselves until Willow has spoken to Amy. I don't mean to sound pessimistic," he told Willow with a small smile. "But I don't want you to get upset if Amy turns out to be a dead end. There are still many angles to look at yet."

The bell suddenly sounded loud and shrill and Xander groaned dramatically. "Science. I hate science."

"You hate all your classes," Cordelia responded gathering up her books. "If you don't start paying attention you'll spend the rest of your life asking people "do you want fries with that?""

"And what's your big plan for the future?" Xander demanded hopping off the counter and following her from the room. "You gonna design a new purse that'll bring about world peace?"

Oz watched them go. "Love's wonderful, isn't it?"

Buffy snorted. "I don't get it, but it seems to work for them so who am I to argue? You ready Wills? The science lab awaits."

"I'll walk you both," Oz offered. He didn't want to let Willow out of his sight unless he had to. He wasn't the over protective, suffocating kind of boyfriend but he was worried about her. That sixth sense of his kept kicking in telling him that something wasn't right with Willow and he was starting to get concerned about her scent; Oz was pretty sure that the previous night it had started to change but right now he could smell nothing but Willow.

"Give me a minute, I'll be right there." She stood there looking pointedly at the door when neither of them moved.

"We'll wait for you in the hall," Oz said, sensitive to the fact that she may have something she wished to confide to Giles. He wished she would talk to him but so long as she was talking to someone Oz wasn't complaining too much. Maybe she thought it was too hard for him, what with her soul being part of another man. He made a mental note to let her know that Spike didn't bother him, he wasn't the jealous type either.

"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Giles asked.

"No," Willow shook her head. "I wanted to talk to Faith."

"Oh," Giles nodded and took up a pile of books from the counter and went up into the stacks.

Faith grinned. "Don't think he was expecting that. What's up?"

Willow let out a heavy sigh. "Just wanted to say thanks, you know, for not telling them about last night."

Faith's grin deepened. "You wanna walk on the wild side with a wild vamp that's your business."

Willow bit her bottom lip her mind drifting to Spike for a moment. If ever a vamp was wild it was Spike.

"You changing your look?" Faith eyed the slightly baggy blouse.

Willow made a face. "I was getting dressed this morning and I realised that everything I own is fuzzy! I had to borrow one of my mother's blouses to look even half way decent, and it's too big for me."

"Here," Faith lent forward and untucked the blouse, pulling the ends tight together she knotted them at Willow's waist. "It doesn't look so big on you now."

"Thanks," Willow fingered the knot absently.

"You'd better get to class."

"What will you do all day?"

Faith shrugged and stood up swinging her arms back and forth. "Whatever I feel like doing. Haven't decided yet. You, um, you seeing Spike again tonight?"

"I doubt it, I'm sure he has more interesting things to do than hang out here and research with us. I don't see Spike as research vamp but more of the find-a solution-or-I'll –rip-your –heart-out kinda vamp." Willow honestly couldn't remember if she had agreed to see Spike tonight or not, but she suspected that she hadn't. Spike probably wouldn't want to spend any more time with her than was necessary after what she had done to him. Still, there was a part of her that couldn't help remembering the previous night and the feel of his hands on her skin.

"Well, see ya round," Faith said when they left the library, she turned to the left and Oz, Willow and Buffy went to the right.

"So," Buffy feigned enthusiasm. "Science."

Willow took Oz's offered hand. "Science," she said aloud. But her mind said Spike.

XxX

Once she had gotten to the science lab Willow's day began to pick up. School had a calming effect on her mind and she busied herself with her class work. She had managed to catch Amy after science and explained her current predicament. Amy had agreed to look through her mother's things and promised to let her know if she found anything. She had even offered to be her second in executing a spell if Willow thought she might need her, it was a nice feeling, knowing that Amy was willing to go so far to help her.

She had a ton of homework to do, especially since she hadn't gotten a thing done the previous night. She had agreed with Buffy that they would meet at the library later that evening after Buffy had been on patrol and Willow had managed to catch up on her homework. She wasn't all that much behind in her work, not when she compared herself with Xander, but Willow was never behind in her school work and the very thought of handing in an assignment late made her queasy.

Willow sat at her desk with her lap top open and books spread out around her as she tried to compile her essay for English. Willow didn't find English any great chore the way Xander and Buffy did and she especially enjoyed Shakespeare. Sometimes she got so caught up in the story that she ended up reading the whole play before she even got started on her homework.

A knock at the French windows brought Willow out of the tragic romantic world of Shakespeare. Marking her page she pulled back the curtains not overly surprised to see Spike on the other side of the glass smoking a cigarette.

"Hello, Spike." She opened the windows.

The first thing she noticed was that he smelled great, a smoky-leather scent with a spice that was sensually enticing. Her head buzzed as a sensation of heat washed over her. Her gaze collided with those lovely blue eyes of his, turning her instantly into a marshmallow.

"Red."

"W…What are you doing here?"

A smirk slid across his lips. "You don't remember?"

"No."

"You asked me to think of somethin' to do tonight, so I did. 'M always willin' to give a lady what she wants."

Willow's cheeks pinked, she had the feeling that he wasn't talking about a night out and her mind spun back to the alley way when he had squatted at her feet and held her legs in his hands. She was so glad that Spike couldn't read minds.

"I… I have homework to do," she gestured weakly behind her towards her desk.

Spike rolled his eyes propping himself up against the wall. "Thought you wanted to 'ave fun, pet."

"Fun will just have to wait," she stood firm. "I have homework to do right now."

"Surely you know a little spell to get it done quicker?"

"No," Willow shook her head. "Amy knows one, or at least she knows a spell to pretend to hand homework in, but I don't. It's not a spell that I need."

"Magic can help you get things done, help you get what you want. If you 'ave the power, use it, why shouldn't you?" Spike pointed out.

"That's not exactly what magic is for, Spike."

"Says who?"

"Giles."

Spike burst out laughing. "The Watcher? Oh love, what does he know about it?"

Willow bristled on Giles behalf. "Giles knows what he's talking about. He can do magic too you know."

"No, I didn't know," Spike said exhaling smoke behind him. "But I do know he's not half as powerful as you are."

"Me?" she almost squeaked. "Powerful? Where did you get that from?"

"Like I said before, you've performed two spells involving souls, that's powerful stuff. Besides, I feel it, not all the time, but I do feel it."

Her head titled quizzically. "Feel it? What do you mean?"

Spike tapped his chest lightly. "In here. Don't forget that part of you is inside me, love."

That shouldn't have made her shiver. It shouldn't have made her stomach flutter; but it did. Willow swallowed and rubbed at her suddenly tight throat.

"You should use it, use what's yours an' use it for you," Spike urged, his voice low and insistent.

"I don't know how," Willow spoke softly.

"Practice and control," Spike said. "The more you use your power the more you'll feel it inside you an' the more it will become yours and yours alone to wield and control. It won't control you the way it did when you split your soul."

She looked suddenly helpless and lost, almost as though she were drowning in his words and Spike held out a hand to her. "I'll help you, if you want me to."

"Yes," her voice was barely above a whisper.

Willow reached for his offered hand her fingers sliding between his.

Spike smiled slowly.