The next day I got up carelessly, no more happiness for the wonderful day, nothing. I dragged my own body out of bed, it barely listened. I opened my closet, put on my darkest clothes. I wore dark skinny jeans, with a black tank toppish bubble shirt over a red tank. I couldn't resist the beauty of red, the blood it reminded me of.

I walked downstairs, it doesn't really matter what I do, I could skip school. Mom and Dad had already left for work. I wonder what it was like to have my mom wake me up, and give me homemade food. Something I can always wonder. She just had to get a job! Screamed in my head, while I took it out on the bread, squishing it. Damn it, I thought, Now I'll get a squished sandwich. Me being me, I didn't want that. I threw out the bread, grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and walked out the door.

No lunch It was only once, was my reasoning. There were plenty of girls who do it daily but I'm not dumb like that. The walk continues, and I just feel numb. The words Sarah had to tell me repeating in my head while it sinks lower.

Eventually I reach school, but I don't notice. My friends see me, and start waving. I don't acknowledge their existence. They just leave me alone, not one of them comes to see how I am. I just continue walking, then sit in a corner in the shade, away from everyone.

The bell rings. Everybody goes inside. I just sit there till a teacher comes and drags me in. she yells at me, I don't hear a word. When she's done, I walk to my locker, then to my class as if nothing had happened. Because nothing had. Everything is nothing until you give it meaning. There is no point giving meaning the words when you just don't care. When everything is meaningless, you wonder why you were born, why you're still there.

Finally, my best friend Sarah came up to me. She kind of snapped me out of my daze. Kind of.

"Sonny what is up with you?" she asked, I don't really think she cared. She seemed more sassy standing up in front of me.

"Nothin," I muttered, but I couldn't even fool myself. Great lie that was.

"No, there is something wrong. You haven't talked to anyone, you got yelled at by a teacher, and you're wearing black!" she basically said black like it was some kind of disease, "Worst of all," she whispered sadly, "I haven't seen you smile at all. I just miss my best friend." This time, I believed her, and I felt even depressed knowing I'm hurting somebody. Worst of all, she's my best friend, I really should tell her what's wrong.

"Look, I guess I'm a bit upset about what Josh had spread about what he thinks about me," I spat out slightly rushed. I just couldn't repeat the words the Sarah had said to me. I just really wasn't over everything about Josh.

"Oh. That's the problem," Sarah said calmly while sitting down next to me on the bench, "Look Sonny, you're way better than that ass. He said he didn't like you, so what? There are so many more cute boys, who aren't assholes. About what he said about you, he was obviously pissed that you had taken the news that he didn't like you too well. He's a conceited bitch who needs the world revolving around himself. You didn't give him that, so he needed revenge. You're better than him," she said ending her really inspiring monolougue. It made me smile, and it felt good to do that. I gave Sarah a huge hug.

"Thank you so much," I say to Sarah, now beaming.

"You're welcome," she responds, hugging me, "Come on, let's go say hi to Josh!"

The idea was awesome, I hopped off the bench, "Lets."

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The rest of the day was awesome, school ended too soon. You could tell Josh was angry at how fast I rebounded by the way he stiffened, and the sight of me. I didn't care. He wasn't worth my emotions. But toying with his emotions was DEFINITELY worth it. It was really funny to see him so pissed. Of course, he exploded, but it didn't phase me. That only pissed him out more. It was hilarious.

Sadly, school eventually ended. I said bye to everyone, and started on the walk home. I was happy the entire walk home, but then something exploded when I walked into an empty home. I just stomped around and I was furious.

I didn't want to break anything again, mom just might get suspicious, probably not. So, I decided to take a shower.

The hot water pounding down on me calmed me down. It just felt so soothing. Everything bugging me just had a way of washing out of my system.

I stepped out of the shower, happier, and calmer. As I dried, I slightly winced at the pain of the cuts. I got used to it. Then, after changing into shorts and a tank top, I truly looked at the cuts. There were no scabs, the wounds still looked so fresh. I just wanted to reopen them and watch the blood gush out.

I ran to the kitchen, got a knife, and then, reopened majority of the wounds, watching all of the blood gush. This was like my heaven.

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uh oh!!!! Wuts wrong with Sonny? Is she turning emo? You're just gong have to continue reading, another HUGE thanks to EvenABrokenDiamondShines for all her comments!!!! THANX SO MUCH!!

So this is how things r gonna roll, I write during the wk, to post on the wknds, if u wanna help me write, PM me, and u can preview my chapters, and give me ideas on how 2 continue this speaking of which…

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