A/N: If I apologise for every single time an update was later than I wanted it to be, then I would be apologising for every single chapter. Which I kinda am but, eh. I'm Canadian.
Fanfiction has changed up some formatting and if this chapter is one huge textblock, feel free to just not read is until I find a way to fix it.
Betad by Sora Resi.
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Gilbert sighed as he locked his apartment door. It wasn't a long walk from the building to the subway station, but it was damn cold out there this late at night.
Usually that wouldn't be such an issue. He actually really enjoyed his job, and was usually enthusiastic about heading to it, no matter what it was like outside. But tonight was one of the nights where his unpredictable work schedule and Roderich's rigid rehearsal schedule managed to coincide. This meant that the man was going to hang around for a while after his rehearsal, no matter how long Gilbert's shift actually was, and want to grab a warm beverage of some sort and catch up.
Gilbert still wasn't sure what he felt about that. Roderich was a good man, and Gilbert sincerely enjoyed his company, but sometimes it was just difficult. Occasionally the man would go down a tangent on something Elisaveta said or did and Gilbert would be filled with equal parts longing and resentment. It made the man hard to be around, when sometimes Gilbert wasn't certain if he wanted to kiss the idiot, or punch him in the face.
He usually settled for sarcastic banter and awkward silences.
The subway car was as silent as it usually was, with the squeaking of the break every time the train pulled in to make a stop. Gilbert nodded at the man across the bench from him, after the man offered him a small smile. He'd seen the man around before. It was a kind of a tradition between the two of them.
He'd met up with Elizaveta once he'd found out she and Roderich were engaged. She was nice, and sweet, and everything he remembered her being, with the added bonus of the fact that she'd grown up some and was no longer such a brat.
Gilbert knew exactly what Francis thought of the situation, and while he could definitely say that he was attracted to Elisaveta, he was not in love with her.
Which was the entire reason why he had avoided her company after that one meeting proved to be a little too painful to handle.
God, he hadn't seen her in years, how did he know if he even liked her?
He was not in love. Gilbert was absolutely, positively, not in love with the beautiful omega woman who was his childhood best friend. An argument could be made for Roderich, but on the matter of Eli, Gilbert wasn't having any of it.
He supposed he should just be grateful that Antonio and Francis realised that he wanted to avoid the subject.
He was very grateful for the presence of his two best friends, but sometimes he just couldn't stand the two of them. Antonio had his head in the clouds half the time, and Francis was such a romantic.
Sometimes Gilbert feared that the man actually thought that if he did fall totally head over heels with an alpha, and the alpha liked him back, that the two of them could work something out. That if an occasion actually came up that Francis would jump at the opportunity to get the love of his dreams, and would lose the life he'd built for himself. He'd be arrested and loose all the credibility he had. The life he had. No one would look at him the same.
It doesn't work out like he wants it to.
Gilbert might not have actual experience with this, but it isn't something one needs to experience to actually know.
Things don't work out like that. They never will.
As a child, Gilbert once vowed that he would never fall in love. He could, but he wouldn't. Because it doesn't work out.
Gilbert is not in love. Not now, not ever. He wishes he could be, because then he might share in some of Antonio's joy, but he isn't.
Because things don't work out like that.
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The subway is quiet when Gilbert steps off. The stairs to the surface seem even longer than usual, but at least the station is connected to the concert hall. If he was heading to work from Francis' place then he would have to walk outside.
He arrives for his shift a good twenty minutes early, which is par for the course, and nods at his fellow worker when he enters the locker room. He and John aren't close, mainly due to the fact that John's mate is fucking weird even by Gilbert's standards, but he knew his way around people, and if shit hit the fan Gilbert trusted the man to have his back. Which was about the most you could hope for in a fellow security guard.
Gilbert groans when he sees that he's been scheduled to sit around in the observation room, but his mood brightens when he sees who they've paired him with.
Peggy was the singular omega they had on staff, and if Gilbert was being honest she could probably wipe the floor with nine out of ten alphas in the place. She took no shit from anyone, including the bosses and her current boyfriend, both of which Gilbert thought were hilarious to watch. The bosses because they got flustered, and the boyfriend because he seemed to really value his girlfriends opinion and totally shamed any other alpha in the room.
Gilbert was undoubtedly paired with her because she had complained that too many alphas were flirting with/teasing/annoying her or being unbelievably sexist. Gilbert had no idea why he became the go to person, he did all four of those things on various occasions, but he was beta so apparently it was completely different.
Gilbert rolled his eyes, and headed to the 'dreaded camera box of doom'.
.
Gilbert's plan of avoiding Roderich almost succeeded. Almost.
Roderich is a really devoted professional though, and has a habit of staying late into the night playing various piano pieces. The ever changing cycle of security guards has just learned to work around him, as the man stays behind long after the others have left.
Peggy tosses the keys to him, watching John have a frantic telephone conversation with his mate, and whispers, "You go lock up. I wanna watch this."
He's locking all the doors except the front, as there will still be a lone secretary working for at least another hour, but there are a few alternate exits to the building that need to be closed off. Admittedly he could get around to the back door without walking through the auditorium where Roderich is, but it is a longer way around that involves stairs. Peggy laughed at him the last time he did that.
Gilbert grits his teeth and heads to lock the stage door before heading to the auditorium.
A flute player has stayed behind to run through a few things, so Gilbert thinks he might have a chance to get through the room unseen, but Roderich looks up when he is halfway across the back of the room, and has this small smile on his face when they make eye contact.
Fuck.
There will be no avoiding the man now.
Gilbert continued as if the fact that Roderich noticed him didn't make his life a helluva lot more difficult, but he wasn't even fooling himself. Sometimes he wondered what his colleagues thought of the odd relationship between him and the alpha. He didn't actually want to know, in the same way that he had no desire to know what Romano thought of Antonio, or anyone's real opinion of Francis, but sometimes he wondered.
Once the doors were locked, Gilbert went back to the records room and tried to make himself feel busy. This failed after about thirty seconds, given that Gilbert had chosen this particular job simply because it didn't feel like doing work. Except when it did, but Gilbert enjoyed those particular occasions more than anyone of his status was expected too.
The rest of his shift was remarkably boring, and did nothing to ease the burning of dread and anticipation that had settled in his stomach.
Goddamit, Roderich.
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Gilbert's shift ended late. Not as late as it could have been, but still pretty damn late, or really freaking early if you wanted to look at it that way.
As much as he wanted to avoid Roderich, now that the man had undoubtedly been waiting for him for at least an hour Gilbert would only end up feeling ridiculously guilty if he abandoned him now. He's wanted to, numerous times, but the thought of missing a perfectly good opportunity to catch up with his friend prevents him every single time.
Roderich waited, a model against the styled walls, with his rich brown hair spiked, rather than being plastered to his head as it usually was. Gilbert swallowed. It was a good look on him.
"Gilbert," Roderich acknowledged, when he approached, "It's good to see you again."
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
The air was tense between them, but Gilbert had come to expect that. It was almost a comfort now; the tingling on the back of his neck a balance to the churning in his stomach.
"It has. Coffee?"
Gilbert followed Roderich out, unable to repress the shiver that ran through him when the cool air hit his figure. The two briskly made their way to the nearby café that was open 24 hours. The coffee there was shit, but they had nice brownies, and the staff had long ago gotten used to the odd duo wandering in.
Distractedness allows Roderich to order for him, and while a part of him burns because an alpha did something he should be perfectly capable of doing himself, the other half is secretly delighted because Roderich actually remembered exactly what he liked to get from the shitty café that they hadn't been to in several months. The spiced hot chocolate was warm in his hands. Gilbert supposed in the long run it didn't really matter if Roderich happened to do something as menial as ordering for him, but that just felt like something that alphas usually did during dates…
Gilbert refused to follow that train of thought.
Roderich avoided talk of his wife like the plague, which Gilbert wasn't going to call him out on, and the two of them ended up discussing movies. Roderich wasn't an action person; the heavily choreographed fight scenes and overdone explosion effects bored him, so that ruled out most of the things Gilbert would admit to seeing. They still managed to have a good conversation about The Hunger Games of all things, going from the story, to favourite characters, to a debate about the most effective battle strategy. Roderich thinks most of his video game inspired ideas are impractical, and Gilbert thinks Roderich is focusing way too much on the 'survival' part of it, but it's a good discussion none the less.
Gilbert hadn't argued like this in ages. It's both teasing and serious at the same time, biting remarks bouncing without hitting their targets, being reflected by mutual appreciation of the situation. The subject matter wasn't serious enough for him to worry about watching his tongue, and Roderich actually managed to pull out his seldom used sense of humour.
The evening ended with the two of them having plans to see the second Hunger Games when it came out. Of course Elisaveta would be coming along as well, but Gilbert really had expected nothing less of the alpha.
And even though that evening would probably be awkward as fuck, it felt nice to have plans with someone who wasn't Francis and Antonio.
It kept him warm inside as he boarded the subway train that would take him back to his apartment, for once maintaining the appreciation of the good things that had happened that day, rather than falling into resentment and wishing for things he couldn't have.
His apartment was dark, but that was okay. The microwave glowed with the leftovers that Gilbert had snatched from the fridge, and the room was much warmer than outside had been.
He grabbed his phone, forgotten charging on the counter when he went off to work, and flicking it on adds more light to the shadowed room.
Four missed calls. Three from Francis, and one from Antonio.
Gilbert could have rolled his eyes. Instead, he was smiling as he brought the phone to his ear to listen to the undoubtedly ridiculous messages his friends had undoubtedly left.
.
Gilbert stared at the phone in a mixture of amusement and horror.
Francis had gotten promoted. To be Mr-I'm-So-Perfect's secretary no less. This was great, because Gilbert knew that Francis was bored out of his mind working beneath Kiku.
But Francis sounded so goddamn pleased about it. Not about the promotion, but because it was Arthur he got to work next to. Arthur the please-call-me-by-my-first-name alpha, whom was well on his way to sweeping Francis off his feet.
Shit.
If it was within his power, he would have kept this from his friend for his entire life. Protected him from the goddamn yearning for something forever out of reach, because he knew if Francis saw the chance, he would take it. He would fucking take it.
He would break the law for love.
Gilbert would be going to prison then. Anything to keep Francis from the 'reform schools' set up to break people from the love that the government deemed unnatural, which might as well be hell incarnate. He'd had contingency plans since the first time he met the two of them, and perfected them over the years.
Francis and Antonio. Two perfect fools.
It was too bad that the three of them weren't into betas; otherwise they would have been awesome together. Still, Gilbert was nothing if not loyal.
He would do anything to keep the two he treasured more than his own heart safe.
It would be a good death, he decided. Dying for Francis and Antonio. He could dream about that happily mated couple all he wanted; he wasn't going to be able to change anything. He could do something good with the remains of his life though.
It wasn't like he had anything else to live for.
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A/N: Shoutouts to two other fandoms that I love. One is really subtle, the other a bit less, bonus points to you if you know what they are.
As always, please review. I'm more likely to get updates out sooner if you do.
~RosemaryBagels
