Day 20: Tuesday

Sam didn't expect to find his mom alone in the hotel room. She hadn't been able to get as many hours work today as she'd hoped. The kids were out playing with friends. A group of the local moms had got together to share care. Each would have all of the children together in one of their homes each day. Whenever it was his mom's turn she would just care for all the kids in one of the other homes. At least it meant Stevie and Stacy had daily company and got them out of the motel room.

Sam had spent time just walking and thinking in the park. He'd wanted to spend a couple of hours with Mercedes, but she was out 'buying hair' with her mom. Whatever that meant!

"Hey Sammy!"

His mom was sat, looking even smaller than usual, on her bed. Sam went and sat beside her, his back against the headboard and stretching his legs out in front of him. He nestled his head in her neck and snuggled closer. He hated to admit it but he sometimes got jealous that Stacy and Stevie still got cuddles while he was now 'too old'. She turned to smile up at him and she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.

They sat in a contented silence for a short while, but he knew he had to break it. Opportunities to speak to his mom alone were rare. And he could have sworn that recently she was avoiding being alone with him. But he needed some answers and today was the day that it was going to happen.

He pulled back slightly and turned slightly more to face her. "Mom... What's going on with dad?"

Mary Evans seemed to shrink slightly onto the bed and her shoulders sagged slightly. The harsh reality of their life had taken its toll on her. Her usual luxurious blonde hair was limp and lifeless, her skin no longer had its healthy glow, and although she was already a slim woman, Sam was sure that she'd lost some weight.

"He's just finding things are getting to him at the moment. He'd hoped that things would be a bit better by now and because it hasn't it's hitting him hard."

"It's hit us all hard!" Sam used to go to an exclusive boarding school and was now having to walk every day to the High School with a small packed lunch with Stacy sized juice boxes. "But none of us have turned to drink!" Sam was shocked by the bitter way the words had come out.

His mother looked at him with a shocked expression but he was on a roll. "Mom, we never see him anymore. He's stopped coming to church with the family. When he comes in its always late and he always smells of alcohol. And don't think I didn't smell it on him when you came to pick me up from the New York trip in the middle of the afternoon!"

She avoided his eyes. "Sam please…"

"And just because you argue in the bathroom after the kids are asleep doesn't mean that I can't hear you and don't know what's happening!"

Sam hadn't expected all the words to come pouring out like that. He didn't expect the pain to be conveyed so transparently with them. He didn't want to seem like he was accusing his mom of anything, but as usual with his mouth, once it started he just couldn't stop. Even though he could see how much the words were hurting her.

She sighed and stroked his cheek gently. "Sam, nobody could have foreseen the way that things have turned out." Now there were tears in her eyes, "But we just have to make best of a situation and stay strong."

Hurt turned to anger. Sam was furious. Furious with the situation and furious to see his mom start to well up. Nobody had the right to make his mom cry. Nobody had the right to hurt his family. Nobody had the right to hurt any of those who he loved!

She could see the change in his mood and caressed his arm soothingly. "Sammy, this whole situation... people deal with things differently. Some people bottle things up and others get angry and let everything out. Some take it out on others and some take it out on themselves. We all have what we think is a coping mechanism, but sometimes that mechanism..." she seemed to lose her thought mid-sentence.

"I just hate seeing you so sad when you look at him."

"Sam, my problems with your dad are not your burden!"

"But drinking never solves anything!"

"I know that, but your father isn't thinking rationally at the moment."

"And where does he even get the money to drink?"

He saw her shoulders stiffen. He'd touched another nerve. Probably the cause of the bathroom arguments. He sincerely hoped that the man was not using any of the money that he'd been bringing in from his pizza shifts...

She simply shrugged. "He has a new set of friends. They go wherever they go and he gets back only when he absolutely has to. I don't like them. I don't like the way that they speak, and I hate the ignorant way that they think. Their influence on him isn't a good one. But he won't listen to me."

"But why do you keep defending him and looking after him?"

"Because I made a vow Sam. A solemn vow before God that I would love him and stick by him, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse. Just because things have taken a turn for the worse it doesn't mean I should abandon him. All I can do is hope that it's simply the situation that's brought out the worst side of him, and as things get better, he'll improve too."

Sam didn't look convinced as she continued, "I have to remind myself every day that if I didn't have him, I would never have had you or Stevie or Stacy. We have had happy times, and he's given me the three greatest children I could ever wish for. Sometimes things aren't easy, sometimes you have to take the rough with the smooth. Sometimes the right decision is not the easiest. You're old enough to understand that. But ultimately things will and do work out in the end."

Sam stared at his hands. He was scared that if he moved he may start crying. He was filled with such an overwhelming explosion of conflicting emotions. "I hate all of this. I hate it all! I wish we could have our old life back!"

His mother took his hands in her own and continued talking. "I never get to say this but I'm so proud of you kids. I'm proud of Stacy and Stevie for getting on with things and not complaining. They've given up so many things that kids take for granted having these days. And you Sammy..." her voice broke a little as she smiled up at him with so much love in her eyes, "You work so hard. You're still a teenager. You should be out having fun not working to support us. You're old enough to remember how out life used to be. You remember the things that we had and the vacations that we used to take. We never wanted to pull you out of your school. Moving here wasn't because of dad's job transfer. When he lost the job that he had back in Nashville, we lost everything. We'd already been living beyond our means. We had to pull you out of school and downsize to a cheaper area. And it had to be far away enough for our old friends to have no interest in following. When this job fell through we were stuck. It was all a lie and we couldn't longer afford to keep living it. But despite everything we went through, we've stayed strong and we've stayed together. This is the first time the strain has started to show on your father. Please please give him the time and space to right himself."

As she looked into his eyes, pleading, Sam lost all control and dissolved into tears. This was only the third time he'd cried since the whole sorry situation had begun. The first was when he had had to sell his guitar, the thing that he had owned which had had the most value. Not just financially but emotionally. His one port of calm in the storm of life. His friend. His muse. The second was when the Glee club had bought the guitar back for him. They would never begin to know how much that had meant to him. And now. This being the first time that he was ever actually having a conversation with one of his parents about what had happened. They had mentioned it, but never really truly spoken about how it had happened and what it meant for them all.

His mom had pulled him into her arms and he was sobbing onto her shoulder. "I just wish I could do more. I wish I could fix things!"

"Sam, this isn't for you to fix! You can't possibly be doing any more. You're doing too much already as it isI You should be being a normal teenager right now, enjoying your summer, hanging out with the boys. The biggest things in your life right now should be football, and proms, the latest phones and computer games and girls. Instead you're working every available hour for minimum wage and tips, just to help put food on the table. It's not right and I hate that we're doing this to you."

She was crying too even though she was trying hard for him not to see it.

Sam felt sad, but also relieved to be letting it all out. He'd been bottling a lot up. Probably far more than he had actually realized until this point. And there were now only two places in his life where he found comfort and calm. In the arms of his mom and with Mercedes.

They stayed quiet for a moment and Sam enjoying being comforted by his mom. Taking on, for a brief spell, the role of child which had been cruelly taken away from him in recent months.

She finally broke it with a kiss to the top of his head.

"So Sammy, as we're having this little heart to heart, why don't you tell me something about your life. I feel like I never see you properly anymore or have the chance to catch up!"

Sam knew that it was time to change the subject and talk about lighter things. He wiped his eyes and smiled at her.

"I've got a girlfriend mom!"

She smiled. One of those big happy smiles that actually reached her eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her do one of those.

"Clearly you do have a little bit of free time left after all! Now hurry up and tell me it's Mercedes. Otherwise you're still not too old for me to put you over my knee and beat the foolishness out of you!"

This time it was Sam's turn to be stunned. "How did you know?"

She grinned a grin that instantly made her look ten years younger and shoved him with her shoulder. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm your mom! I know you better than you know yourself! Besides, I knew before even you did!"

Sam blushed, but couldn't help but get the feeling that she probably did.

"So tell me," she shifted her position and rubbed her hands together excitedly, tears forgotten, "How did you guys eventually end up getting together..."

Sam groaned. Mortified. "Mom..."

"Sammy!" She grinned, "I need something to be able to share with the grandchildren. Now spill..."

Samuel Evans loved his mom. But sometimes, just sometimes, he suspected that maybe she came from another planet...