6: It's Ok

Hearing the sound of a ball bouncing, Jesse smiled to himself. He still got it, he thought. He knew his sister like the back of his hand. He entered the gymnasium, trying to be quiet. There she was, wearing her typical attire. White converse shoes, leggings, and a hoodie. The sight was refreshing, as if Jesse was back home. Every time his sister would come up against a wall, she'd fall into a panic attack, but after a few therapy sessions, she'd found her gateway. She'd go off alone, shoot some hoops and it'd help her calm her nerves down. It was always Jesse that would run after her, but since he left for college, she was all on her own. Their parents never thought to approach her during one of her 'episodes' while their older brother was living his life in Manhattan. Jesse and Kamila were a team so imagine how out of practice he'd felt, knowing that he had left her for a year. He hoped that now they were at school together, he'd still have the same impact of being her safety blanket. He walked a little closer to the basketball court and sat in one of the seats. After watching her make seven 3-pointers in a row, he clapped and cheered her on. Kamila jumped in surprise and turned around with almost tears in her eyes.

"Y'know, after all these years- I'm still your biggest fan," he told her, making his way to her.

"Jesse, don't even try and make me feel better- I'm fine," she told her brother, knowing the well known routine of him following her.

"You're not fine, Kam.. You're just trying to act like you are. And I get it. You have this fresh start, a great new group of friends and you're in college! I understand why you're trying to be so happy and you know what? That's all I want for you. But your PTSD? Alongside your.. health?" he hesitated, "You know all too well that you're not fine and you're letting that control you. What happened back there?"

"I.. I don't know. I just saw the tickets and I freaked. Everything just sped up and I got outta there," Kamila said in a soft voice. She walked past him and sat down on one of the seats, with her head in her hands. "I thought I was in control," she sighed, letting a few tears escape. "I thought that if nobody knew what was wrong with me, then I'd be fine- I'd start over. I wouldn't be treated differently,"

"No, no, Kam.." Jesse felt the tug on his heart. He didn't want this. Not for her, his little sister. He sat down next to her and faced her, "No one would treat you differently,"

"Really? What are you doing right this second?" She mumbled through her fingers while Jesse furrowed his brows, "You're giving me pity," Kamila sat up to face her brother, "You're here right now, trying to comfort me when you should be with your girlfriend, celebrating her win."

"Wha- I'm not going to go out and have fun while you're here slowly falling apart all over again!" Jesse was now struggling to be both supportive and feeling offended by his sister's words. "Beca wanted me here. I want to be here. As much as you'd hate to admit it, Kam, but in order to be fine- you need to actually be fine.. and you need people to help you out with that,"

"Jesse, if you're here to try and fix me.. there's no point. I'm damaged goods," the way his sister looked right at this moment broke his heart. What he'd give to take away her pain.

"That's right," he said, while wrapping an arm around her, "and that's okay," he kissed the side of her forehead. "You think it's a weakness? Then make it a strength. It's a part of you, so use it."

"Jess-" she tried to argue,

"No, Kam.. I know you want to just let it slide and go back to pretending you're fine but that's not the way to go. I'm right here for you...and Beca," he included. He blinked hard, hoping Kam wouldn't make a big deal that'd he'd mentioned Beca.

"Wait.. Beca? What are you talking about?" He bit his bottom lip, eh what the hell. Better to tell her now than later.

"Yeah, she may have asked about you and I might have told her about the accident."

"You what?!" She exclaimed, getting up from the seat, "You tol- she- so.. she knows?"

"Well, sorta. Not..everything. But it's ok-"

"No, Jess.. don't. It's one thing to be here for me, and another to be blabbing our problems- my problems to your already stressed out girlfriend-" before Kamila could continue her outburst, she fell into a coughing fit and landed on her knees. Faster than ever, Jesse leapt out of the seat and quickly crowded his sister. He held her in his arms and rocked her back and forth,

"Kammy, did you take your medication today?" She only nodded and held him tight. She gasped for air while he moved her hair away from her face, "Shh.. It's okay. I'm here. Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" Already knowing the drill, he still wanted to ask her.

"No..." she managed to get out, "just take me home," she whispered before closing her eyes. He picked her up bridal style and made his way out of the gym to walk towards her dorm building. Reaching the front steps, he asked her softly where her keys were, and in her weak state, pointed to the front pocket of her hoodie.

As he got to her door, Jesse was thankful that it was unlocked, meaning Beca was in there. After turning the knob half way and lightly kicking the door open, he hurried to Kamila's bed and gently set her down. Beca, on the other side of the room, was occupied with her mixing equipment and abnormally huge headphones. She felt the rush of air behind her and turned around. She quickly jumped off her chair, as she saw her boyfriend tucking in his sister,

"Oh my God, what happened?" She whispered but with a worried tone.

"She's uh- she's going to be pretty tired for a while," Jesse responded.

Noticing the tired and worried look on his face, Beca was starting to think something was up, "Jesse, what's going on?" Beca looked at him with wide eyes, she turned to Kamila and noticed how pale she was. Kamila managed to mumble,

"It's 'k, tell her." Jesse sighed.

"Uhm," he started off, unsure with how to tell his Beca. "I didn't get a chance to finish my story the other day.." he started to walk back and sat on Beca's bed, while she followed him.

"Soon after Kammy woke up from her coma.. the doctors came and told our family that she had.. uh, that she had-" he swallowed, trying to avoid feeling the way he did. To Beca, it was clear that what Jesse was trying to say-was too hard for him to say out loud. "Kamila has chronic leukemia..." he rubbed his eyes both from being tired as hell and from trying not to lose any manhood points by crying. Beca didn't say a word but instead grabbed a hold of his hand and kissed his shoulder.

The next couple of days were pretty quiet. Everything was somewhat back to normal, only every time she tried to talk to Kamila, she'd have some sort of excuse to be somewhere right away. She'd keep herself busy. Beca tried to talk to Jesse, too but every time she did, he'd divert the subject. Clearly, neither of the Swansons wanted to talk about the other night- much less talk about.. it. So, Beca just shoved away her questions and focused on preparing for Regionals. Putting her time and energy into that meant spending more of her free time in her room, mixing songs and less time with her boyfriend. Not to mention, she'd only see Kamila around when they'd all be together at Bellas rehearsal. Some days, Kamila wouldn't even show up. She had to do something, anything.. but she had no time to do it. One Friday afternoon, Kamila walked into their dorm room, looking like she had lots to say.

"Becs?"

Beca was still in bed but hearing her roommate's soft voice, she turned around and did her best to look fully awake, "Yeah?" She asked, groggily.

"I wanted to.. apologize," by Kamila's choice of words, Beca sat up in the confusion.

"Apologize? For what?"

"For the other day. When you had to find out.. like that," she said with guilt. Kamila sat on the edge of Beca's bed. "I know that Jesse pretty much told you the whole deal, but I made him promise to me before we started school to not mention my.."

"Sickness?" Beca interrupted.

Looking down in shame, Kamila nodded. "Hey, hey.. don't make that face," Beca said. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"You sure? I didn't want anyone here at Barden to know. I just wanted to go to college without-"

"Without being babied all the time because of it?"

Kamila looked up, "Yeah-"

Beca smiled at the girl, "You know.. sometimes, that's a good thing. But, I get it. You didn't want to be treated as if you were an invalid. But you've got nothing to worry about. Hell, you're in better shape than I am," She tried to lighten up the mood and felt she succeeded when Kamila let out a small laugh. "What I'm trying to say- is that.. if you want this just between you, Jesse and I... then I'll keep it that way."

Kamila smiled at her brother's girlfriend. "Thank you,"

The two small girls hugged and boy, did Beca feel what Jesse was feeling. This wonderful, and sweet young girl was cursed with something so horrible. Not only did her heart ache for her friend, but for Jesse, as well.

Walking towards their spot on the quad, Beca spotted her favorite Treble. "Hey, you.." She greeted him with a tone as if they haven't spoken in months. Jesse looked up at her and smiled. It's been days since she's seen that beautiful smile of his and she relaxed the moment he patted the space next to him and she occupied it. He wrapped an arm around her waist and laid a gentle kiss on her lips. After pulling back to look at her, he smiled again.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing. I'm just happy.. that you're here,"

Beca raised an eyebrow, questioning his cheesy line. "Kam called me. Told me that you and her talked."

"Oh. Yeah, we did,"

"Thank you."

"She just needs you, Jesse." Beca smiled at him and leaned her head onto his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and mumbled the words,

"I love you...so much, Becs." into her hair.

This was not the first time he'd told her but every time he did, Beca treated it as if it was. She closed her eyes and reveled in his touch. "And I love you so," She hugged him, knowing that he must be breaking inside. He was the man usually known for being the anchor. The man in her life that took care of her, that held all the strength. But Beca was an expert for knowing when someone was breaking down, and she knew Jesse was trying just as hard to keep it together.

"Alright, Bellas! Here's the packet for the songs we're singing at Regionals. If you've got any complaints, don't let me know." Beca had Kamila hand out the packets to the other girls.

Fat Amy raised her hand, "Yes, Fat Amy?"

"Uh, these songs... are.. old?"

Beca smirked, "They're not that old. You were already born once these songs were out... most of them, at least." The girls looked at each other in confusion.

Stacie blurted, "Since when are we back to singing old songs?"

"Since we got such a good reaction at the Riff-off," Beca told her.

"Ahhhh," the girls cohesively voiced.

"It was actually all Kamila's idea," Beca pointed to the young girl. Kamila just smiled sheepishly and sat back down. "So, ladies.. learn your parts and we'll come back from this weekend all refreshed and ready to go." And at that, the girls stood up and got ready to leave. Kamila, however, was still sitting- flipping through the packet. Beca went to sit next to her,

"So? What do you think? I used your arrangements and tweaked some parts a bit," Beca asked, bitting her bottom lip.

Kamila just smiled and looked at her, "This is really great, Becs. Just.. please don't blame me if it doesn't work out," she said with a hint of sarcasm and a bit of seriousness. Beca chuckled,

"Kam, there's no way these songs will do us any harm. It'll be great," She smiled at the younger girl with assurance. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and that was her cue. "Oh, I gotta go. Got a date with your bro,"

Kamila then burst into laughter, making Beca turn around with confusion. "Sorry, I just.. you.." she said in between her laughing and breathing for air, "You rhymed."

Beca backtracked to what she said and laughed along. "Man, you Swansons," she uttered.

"Hey, weirdo," Jesse greeted his girlfriend upon seeing her enter their diner. She slipped into the booth, sitting across from him. Already with a plate of fries in front of him, Beca stole a couple and popped them into her mouth.

"What's cracking, nerd?" She said in between chewing.

He just laughed and shook his head, "I wanna ask you a question," after laughing, he looked at her with a serious facade. Beca swallowed her last fry and looked at him, searching his eyes for anything that could give away his tone.

"Shoot,"

"Thanksgiving is coming up,"

"Dude, Halloween just passed, slow down." He chuckled at her,

"Becs, I'm being serious.."

"Yes, so am I!" He glared at her to prove he actually was being serious. Beca sat up, gesturing for him to continue.

"Like I was saying.. Thanksgiving is coming up and I wanted to ask if you'd like to spend it with my family." Beca looked at him and grabbed another fry.

"You want me?.. to spend Thanksgiving with your family?"

Jesse in an unsure tone, "Yes? That's what.. I said?" Beca bit her lip and furrowed her brows,

"I don't know, Jess.. Wouldn't I be kind of.. intruding? I mean I'm sure you all want to be together especially Kamila and I just think that if I was there then it wouldn't be family bonding time but more of 'let's make fun of Jesse's real life girlfriend' time,"

Jesse raised his eyebrows and a finger, "First of all, you wouldn't be intruding. You're like family.. even though you've never met them. And second of all, 'real life'?!"

Beca just laughed. Of all the things she said, he picked up on that one. "No, I mean like.. wouldn't you want to just.. I don't know focus on being around Kamila for Thanksgiving- y'know, have the whole family there to just celebr-"

Jesse cut her off with a look, "Becs, we want you there. We all do. Besides, my parents really want to meet you and I think Kamila would be thankful to have you there. It's two of us boys against her.. so, she'd need a teammate,"

With a sigh, Beca gave in. "Alright, alright. But we are not flying."

Jesse just grinned and grabbed a handful of fries. Beca scowled at his gesture, "You already got plane tickets, didn't you.."

Jesse nodded excitedly and signaled for the waitress to tell her their lunch orders and for an extra plate of fries and Beca's favorite milkshake.

A/N: Alright, nerds. The "surprise updating three days in a row" thing has come to an end. I will now (do my best) to update every Friday. Also, I've chosen to follow down the melancholy road but also decided to take my time getting to the sad stuff. So, from here on out, mostly fluffy stuff. Also, the reviews for this story have gotten a bit rare so I'm taking that as a sign to.. stop? Or slow down? I'm not sure. See how lost I am without reviews? Anyways, if you wanna get at me, I'm always on twitter so.. if you have one, feel free to follow me mari_zulueta and I'll follow back and tweet you how much I love you. Also, shoutout to BittyAB18 and cuticlecareenetwork for being awesome reviewers & such awesome writers *cough cough pls update your stories cough cough* And to clear up any confusion from last chap: Kamila was smacked in the face when she saw the concert tickets- as it triggered her PTSD bec they were getting home from a Black Eyed Peas concert when they got hit by a truck. Shoutout to the people who noticed that storyline being quite similar to a certain movie starring Hilary Duff. Hasta luego!